From The Ashes Part 2: Resistance and Reclamation
Hey everyone! I’m back with part 2 of my mini series about “From the Ashes” by Jesse Thistle! If you haven’t already, I highly recommend going and reading it! It covers a short synopsis, and my thoughts and feelings from the book! If you’re interested just click here!
Resilience
After reading “From the Ashes”, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a book more about resilience than this. Jesse has been through so much in life, more in his first 20 than most people will get in a whole lifetime, and he has lived a life full of struggle after struggle. I feel that Jesse’s story is so compelling because, unlike many others where the characters stay strong in the face of any and all adversity, Jesse fails. It is so utterly human, to not be able to resist against the world beating you down over, and over again. No, it isn’t that Jesse stayed strong, throughout his journey, but that he had the courage to try after hitting the lowest point in his life.
From being homeless for well over a decade, suffering with his severe addiction on the streets, to nearly losing his leg and having to relearn how to walk Jesse has persevered through much more than the majority of people could even imagine. It was at the worst time in his life, that he decided he wanted to make a change–that he wanted to live. “If I can just make it to the next minute, I thought, then I might have a chance to live; I might have a chance to be something more than just a struggling crackhead. [pg. 313]” Jesse chose to live and to better himself, despite how painful it may have been at the time. Pushing through months of intense withdrawal and rehab and therapy, Jesse got his GED, and after 2 long years Jesse graduated AA.
The Indigenous author and academic speaks with The Next Chapter about writing From the Ashes, which will be defended on Canada Reads by Geor
Jesse on his struggles with homelessness and addiction.
Jesse is able to reconcile with his Grandfather, the two of them growing close right before his passing. Jesse had come to terms with his childhood, and the harsh way his grandfather has raised him. After rehab, Jesse starts working, he maintains his job and is eventually able to pay off his $3000 worth of debts, given a clean slate. This feels like a turning point in particular, Jesse is able to turn over a new leaf and make peace with his past. After all that, Jesse is admitted to York university and in 2015, at the age of 39 Jesse obtains his Bachelor’s of Liberal Arts and Professional Studies, and his Masters of History the next year from the University of Waterloo.
“Whatever the reason, I came to the realization that I’d earned my way here and that I had the right to chase my dreams. That even I deserved a second chance.
I thought, I belong in university, just like everyone else. [pg. 324]”
It is after all Jesse’s hardships and struggles, that he is able to love himself, and understand his worth as a person, that his life and experiences are important to share with the world. It is in persisting through all his hardships that Jesse is able to forgive himself, and move forward with his life.
Reclamation
Watching Jesse grow as a person, and reclaiming his Métis identity is incredibly inspiring. He goes from someone who was shamed, and was ashamed of his identity to proudly and openly declaring it, advocating for his rights and the rights of all Indigenous people. It is beautiful to see Jesse come to understand and appreciate his Métis heritage after coming to terms with who he is and how his identity has shaped his life, and him as a person.
Jesse grew up in a predominantly white area, and was thus subject to constant belittling and racist remarks because of his ‘other’ appearance. For his brown skin and dark hair. “Then he said, ‘Figures,’ coughing and holding his ribs. ‘You’re just a dirty Indian, like the rest of them.’ ” “ ‘You’ll probably die drinking like they all do.’ The crowd shifted from my side to his, and I saw my street friends laughing and pointing at me. They believed it too, They all believed it. [pg. 86-87]” This is one of the many examples of people looking down on Jesse in life, trying to reinforce negative stereotypes, and making it seem like there’s no other way for him to live.
Jesse starts to feel shameful about the heritage he once wore so proudly on his sleeve, it becomes a point of embarrassment for him, something that he tries so desperately to not let define him. Jesse starts to distance himself from his Métis identity, it was no longer a part of himself he loved, something that reminded him of his mother and his family he held dear. “‘No,’ I blurted out. ‘We’re Italian.’ The lie came from nowhere, but I thought it might keep me safe or included somehow. ‘We have some Indian way back,’ I went on. ‘But my skin is dark because we have Italian in us—see. [pg. 78]”
In trying to separate himself from his identity, Jesse had become incredibly self loathing, with internalized racism towards himself, and those who showed pride in their heritage. “For as long as I could remember, too, he’d been proud of being what he called ‘Native’ and found creative ways to express it. I made fun of him and his friends, [pg. 128]” He holds a certain level of disdain for his brother, for being so comfortable in his own skin, but it all stems from his underlying desire to be like them. Jesse lashes out in jealousy, not understanding how other people can love something about themselves that Jesse only views as a source of embarrassment. “I was jealous of Josh when we were little, and I was jealous of Jerry now. [pg. 129]”
It is only after all his hardships and joining university that Jesse gets the opportunity to explore his heritage. He started taking Indigenous history classes to learn about his people, who they were, who they are and who that makes him. He gets to return homelands in Saskatchewan, and reconnect with his mother's family. “‘I’ve been waiting a very long time for you to get interested in who you are,’ she said. ‘A lifetime actually.’” Jesse is finally able to overcome his internal biases against himself, and is able to love and accept every aspect of himself. He now speaks out publicly about issues affecting the First Nations, Métis and Inuit communities in Canada, and is an assistant professor at the University of York, in Ontario.
To hear Jesse, check out him talking about intergenerational trauma and how he works to ensure that it never effects his children.
A year ago best-selling author Jesse Thistle was a new dad and uncomfortable in the role, admitting that sometimes he thought about running