ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🪽་༘࿐ lynne

_ _ ⠀ ⠀gooner⋮ they/fae ⠀ unlabeled ₊ ◞ ˙ 18 pro/com/darkship + __cest dni

[fukunagal]

Michael Kaiser headcanons— suggestive // smut

tw: completely canon

—Michael’s dick is so small, you can’t even feel it when he fucks you

—If you’re german, you can imagine how awful his dirty talk is. But if you’re foreign, it may be even worse; his german accent is thick

—He’s cheating on you all the time

—His dick is really disgusting, wrinkly and full of smegma

—You fight all the time and then he insults you in german, calling you a ‘schlampe’, ‘hure’ and ‘arschloch’.

—When you send him nudes, he shows them to everyone else, just to expose you

—He uses laugh emojis, especially the “🤣”

—He has a thick Berlin accent

—He once said “Isagi” when you had sex and then tried to gaslight you into thinking he said your name

—He never does aftercare, he only cleans himself up and then plays brawl stars

—He likes soft cakes and Erfrischungsstäbchen

—He wants you to call him “Emperor”, “Kaiser” and “My Majesty” in bed

—He has no clue where the clit is and once thought you have to bite into it to make you cum. He bit so hard, you went to the hospital

—Your contact name in his phone is “Bitch #12”

—He once fucked you, while still having the fluids of some other girl on his dick and gave you a yeast infection

—He never ate pussy, he refuses to and thinks his dick is enough to make you cum

—His balls look like two small walnuts

—When you’re in missionary, his long ass hair falls into your mouth and you regularly choke on it. It tastes like cheap dye and 5in1 shampoo

—He washes his hair, butt, balls (not dick), armpits and dishes with the same cloth

—His mom saw his disgusting baby face and left because of his ugliness

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

a/n: English isn’t my first language, criticism is welcomed but please be nice. Likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated. Do not steal or copy my work, nor feed it to ai.

n: I actually really like people who use “🤣” and “😂”, I think it’s cute, but not with Kaiser.

divider by @cursed-carmine

[goonerrella365]

If you write faux-cest and stepcest I automatically moralmog you and you’re worthless btw

[goonerrella365]

someone make stuttering guy and confident guy yaoi but the stuttering guy locks in during intimate moments and bags the confident guy

[dust-b0wll]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I'M SO WET😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 IM SO FUCKING TIGHT 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂HURRY MY FUCKING PLATE UP😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I'M NOT PLAYING😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I BETTER GET THAT PLATE RIGHT FUCKING NOW😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭ID LET HER NUH IN ME😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭IM FUCKING HORNYYYY😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I MEAN HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYY😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭WHERE MY PLATE ATTT LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[iceemochaa]

I better see the black!reader tags skyrocket this month!!!

[goonerrella365]

venture 🤤🤤🤤.. sloan cameron.. dih in my flipping butt 🤤🤤

[goonerrella365]

idc if it’s amab or afab sevika either way it’s a BANGER 🥹🥹

[somekindofsupernov4-deactivated]

no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while I gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, backwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick throbbing, fist clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling, teeth jitterbug, mind blogging, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy,moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious,gushy, creamy, beastly, lip biting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body numbing, bark worthy, can't walk, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, sweat rolling, voice cracking, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail scratching, back cuts, spectacular, brain cell desolving, hair ripping, show stopping, magnificent, unique, extraordinary, slendid, phenomenal, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tango ever bro could cause a nuclear bomb inside me and I'd still ride.

[goonerrella365]

sevika and vi strap off who’s winning 🤣?? PLEASE DEMONSTRATE ON ME 😂😂😂???

[goonerrella365]

not watching bes s2 if mizu isn’t swinging her strap in my face like she’s hypnotizing me and then killing british men BRUTALLY like if you want me to WHIP out my phallus and jerk just say that 💔💔

[goonerrella365]

farm ellie swinging her strap like a lasso and wrapping it around my neck painted 1800’s style gold frame on a wall by itself with its own viewing chair STAT.

[goonerrella365]

I want venture BAD like I can’t even hide it words cannot not express how bad I NEED THAT OH MY GODD I NEED THE THEYDICK 🙁🙁

[goonerrella365]

moira please experiment on me next I will be a WILLING participant PLEASEEE OH MY GOD I NEED A EVIL BUTCH DOCTOR AT ONCE!!

[goonerrella365]

NOT a hot take I’m actually right 100% trust stay with me,, MIZU AND TAIGEN IS DISGUSTINGGG LEAVE MY BUTCH VENGEANCE FILLED WOMAN ALONEEE HE CANT HANDLE THAT I NEED THAT IN MY LIFE 💔💔💔

[goonerrella365]

mizu new season hd 4K sesbian lex scene no background music + edo period strap on in London NOWWW