trying on a metaphor
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@goonzonea
Iâm just craving low key kink activity lately. Hanging out in lingerie and a collar. Doing shibari just to chill on the couch. Getting lazily teased and played with and petted while watching a movie. Casual hair pulling and mild domination. Just put me on my knees and let me lean against you for a little while.
CASUAL KINK MY BELOVED
ok ok i see u in my notifs, let's kiss already đđ
the word docile comes from the latin word docilis meaning âteachableâ. it comes from the same root as the word doctor âteacherâ. docile. teachable. instructible. ready for a teacher. ideal for one. itâs a fun word :)
âThey said they wanted a vampire relationship with no age gapâ
âNo age gap??!?!?â
âAnd no non-con elementsâ
âNO NON CON?â
âAnd no coercion or otherwise manipulative behaviorsâ
âJoe they want a vampire with NOTHINGâ
Instructing my thralls to learn hypnosis, and to use it to reinforce in me every day that I deserve this, that I deserve their mindless and total subservience and so much more, that any twinges of conscience are to be ignored, that the answer is always to keep going further, to burn away any tenderness and doubt, to keep blossoming outward in my grasp, ambition, and shamelessness until I become the most pure and majestic version of my potential. (inspired by @secret-subject's excellent hypnosis for dominance file)
yeah âi can teach youâ is kind and gentle and warm and comforting. itâs also hot. right
I don't actually want to choke you but I do want you to stay still when I wrap my hand around your neck, okay? You can whimper a little bit. You can beg. Let your breathing do whatever it wants to do when your body recognizes the threat. I don't care about all that. I like it, actually. But whatever else you have to do, I want you to be a good girl and bare your throat for me and stay still. You can do that for me, can't you?
(Flirting) i won't tell anyone you hit me
Plausible Deniability
CW: cnc that's a bit weird about the c part, emotional sadism, rape kink metacommentary
"It's not exactly rape if you're enjoying it." I point out.
"Just because I'm asking for it doesn't mean I would enjoy it."
Not the answer I was expecting. The usual response I get is one of mildly frustrated pushback, pouty faces, muttered accusations of I-know-but-you're-supposed-to-play-along. I have a reputation, and that reputation invites a crowd I don't care for.
See, people say 'rape' and mean 'sex we pretend I am not into', because they've got hangups about being into sex. Of course we all have hangups - I just don't want to indulge those particular ones. It always feels like I'm expected to read someone's mind and then play dumb about what I see there.
She continues. "I know myself. Know I'd hate it in the moment. Just thinking about it makes my stomach seize up. Talking about it, too. And yet I want it. Simple as that."
"You can want it. Doesn't mean you can consent to it."
It's bait. But I want to know her own justification, in her own words.
"People get tattoos, run ultramarathons until their bodies give out, take molly and struggle their way through suicide Tuesday. This isn't any different. I get to make my future self suffer if I want to."
I nod, pretend to think for a moment. Then I speak.
"Six months. One month. And then three months."
A moment to build anticipation before I explain.
"Six months for me to work my way into your life. Calls. Hangouts. Heart-to-hearts. One month for me to strike, if I feel like it then. No restrictions beyond that. Maybe I'll get you at midnight on the first day. Maybe I'll wait a bit. Maybe I'll tell you I changed my mind, that I just want to be friends, and then I slip something in your drink two days before the deadline."
Words are so fucking limited a medium. I desperately want to describe the face she makes at that. I settle for committing it to memory. Outwardly, I just keep talking.
"And then, three months where I won't do anything. Won't allow anything. Time for you to think about what happened. I suggest spending some of it far away from me."
I watch her think. Stare hard enough at the cave wall, and maybe you'll figure out what's casting the shadows. I'm not acting the way she expected. But I'm not acting the way she feared, either.
Eventually, she decides that she understands me. Her voice is softer than it was a moment ago. Reverent.
"...you're giving me time. To make sure this isn't a whim. To process everything. You... obviously you're okay with me being hurt. But you don't want me to be hurt more than necessary."
Something inside of me shifts.
I don't quite know how it shows itself. I've tried to understand, though - have asked a few people to describe how I look like this. Sudden and terrifying, one got stuck on. A more poetically inclined soul said it was like I swapped out the soul behind my eyes.
"Do I?"
How would she describe it, I wonder?
"Maybe I just want to build trust before I violate it. Maybe I want to watch you, month after month, as you grow ever more comfortable around me. Maybe I want to see you try and forget what I'm going to do to you. Maybe I just want time to make sure it hurts as much as possible."
She doesn't flinch, but I watch her pupils dilate, her hands clench. There's a gap between being composed and being calm, and I fight the urge to stick a knife in there and pry it all the way open. I do twist it, just a bit.
"Or maybe I just want to make it seem like I care. Play the part of the ethical sadist because that's a type of person you need to be real. You're a good person. If you think I am too, if you think everything I did was with your well-being in mind, then I'm safe. You won't do a thing to hurt me. Won't think I deserve that."
There's a moment, uncertain and delicious, where I wonder if she'll turn and run, but no one ever does. I soften my expression in a flash, keep quiet but smile in a way that implies a thousand reassurances. Did you have fun? Are you okay? The scary dom act really got to you, didn't it? I hope it wasn't too much?
She relaxes a bit, and that's when I go in for the kill.
"God. You really are so eager to assume the best of someone willing to rape you."
I savor the way she shivers at that. Whatever my other reasons, everything I said, I said so I could see this.
It's going to be a fun six months.
the strap is better for rape because i can't feel it. i'm not getting any pleasure from this except knowing that you don't want it. i'm sure your hole would feel fantastic spasming in pain around me, but that's not as important to me as making sure you know this is not me getting off, this is just me torturing you.
let me indulge two of my favourite things for a moment. so one of the central philosophies behind cnc fantasies is you *get* something without having to *want* it, right? it's not getting something you don't want, it's the removal of the active process of desire. It's not necessary to want it any more if it's forced upon you. If you are someone who feels shame about the thing you want, whether that's sex in general or specifically violent sex, having it forced upon you mitigates that shame. It absolves you. You become free of sin, you're cleansed, but crucially you are not denied the opportunity to indulge in the experience of sin. And this ties into the idea that purity can only exist in tension with the threat of defilement but we can't get into that in this post
In this way, if you are a twisted enough pervert about cnc and religion, you can see sexual aggression as absolution itself. It's not about having your sinful urges purged from you, it's about not being able to sin, because your sin doesn't count. You're free. You're blessed, even. You're thankful to that which has delivered you from sin. Your desire to be fucked doesn't belong to you any more. Your part in any wrongdoing doesn't matter any more so you can let go of some of that shame (or keep it. It's fun in its own way) and enjoy it. Becoming a vessel for absolution, being subjugated, becomes worship.
So anyway this is why I think religion should belong to weird gay perverts and weird gay perverts ONLY. We're just better at it.
Meeting a new friend who smokes too and I invite them over to smoke and she brings a dab pen and rosin and I think - I have a high tolerance, I got this!
We end up smoking and Iâm smoking like I usually do until I realize that I am much higher than I meant to get and the way she is looking at me is nothing short of predatory
Of course, I would get wet from the look - Iâm a freak and itâs so much worse when Iâm actually high - and she just enjoys watching me squirm
She offers me another hit and I turn it down, only for her to grip my chin with one hand and place the pen in my mouth, pressing the button and commanding me to breathe in, as I obey my head gets fuzzier and fuzzier, and when she finally pulls away I cough for a moment, my head spinning and before I can react I feel her lips press against mine firmly, her tongue slipping in and I can taste smoke as she breathes another hit into me, getting me high and helpless for her <33
I want to give up trying to push her off and just grab onto her instead because itâs too much and Iâm scared so I just have to hold onto something and then cry âplease stop, I love youâ into the crook of her neck while she whispers to me through her moans that she loves me like this
I want to give up trying to push her off and just grab onto her instead because itâs too much and Iâm scared so I just have to hold onto something and then cry âplease stop, I love youâ into the crook of her neck while she whispers to me through her moans that she loves me like this
I want to give up trying to push her off and just grab onto her instead because itâs too much and Iâm scared so I just have to hold onto something and then cry âplease stop, I love youâ into the crook of her neck while she whispers to me through her moans that she loves me like this
Your captor making you record a video statement of how you actually consented to all of it and that youâre alright and enjoying yourself, promising you theyâll stop hurting you if you comply and do it right. You donât really trust them, but you think thereâs a chance theyâre going to send it to your loved ones. So you put on the performance of your life in hopes of at least letting them know youâre still alive and thereâs hope. As calm and serious as you can, as many retakes as you need to do, until your captor is content. But instead of sending the video to anyone at all, they play it to you on repeat every time they rape you. Every time youâre abused you hear yourself saying youâre exactly where you want to be. And you keep telling yourself you donât really believe what youâre hearing your own voice tell you, but it doesnât take too long until you realize you nonetheless know the words by heart
