Jackie Taylor (yellowjackets)
masterlist: 90sbaddie!fem!reader
jackieshauna x fem!reader smut ★
post-crash jackie missing fem!reader hc's
secret admirers (jackieshauna x fem!reader)
foragers ★
fem!cheerleader!reader
Katniss Everdeen (the hunger games)
for you
Lara Raj
idol lara x college student fem!reader hc's
Maddy Perez (euphoria)
series masterlist: THE GREATEST
famous ★ + lesson learned ★
fem!nailartist!reader
vivid fantasies + fever dreams
party 4 u
Madison Beer
you look so good in this light
Manon Bannerman
broke up the band ★ + fuck around and find out ★
lunch
drop dead!
Margot Robbie
come to get your fix?
Mari Ibarra (yellowjackets)
purple tongues
Naomi Lapaglia (the wolf of wall street)
friends?
Queen Maeve (the boys)
strangers
riding her hero suit ★
pervy!queen maeve ★
never let me go
stargirl ★
homelander’s wife!reader ★
Rachel Berry (glee)
gloria! (+ santana lopez)
Rue Bennett (euphoria)
party 4 u
Santana Lopez (glee)
enemies to lovers
thirty minutes ★ + crawling back to you ★
merry ex-mas
sucking on her strap ★
gloria! (+ rachel berry)
i could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets
concrete
Shauna Shipman (yellowjackets)
jackieshauna x fem!reader smut ★
secret admirers (jackieshauna x fem!reader)
kingston
adopted by the jacobs family, you built your life around becoming one of them. becoming the best of them. straight A student. cheer captain. beloved by all. your image is spotless. besides the fact that you're fucking your older brother's girlfriend.
maddy perez threatens to unravel all the work you've done as you fall deeper and deeper into a relationship with her that ceases to exist. at the end of the day, she will always choose nate. you know that, but you just can't seem to let her go, because who knows. maybe just once, she might choose you too.
word count: 4.7k
chapter warnings: SMUT, nudity, family trauma/fighting, bullying, racism, nate jacobs
a/n: ALL ITALICS ARE RUE'S NARRATION
hope this was worth the wait!
y/n can't recall the single moment she understood she was adopted. instead, she can recall hearing her parents screaming at each other through the wall. she remembers the booming sound of her father's fist against a table, a time so long ago she shouldn't have been retaining memories. then she remembers her mother's screeching voice, which always seemed to operate at a frequency that made y/n instinctively cover her ears. but even through her hands, y/n could always hear their argument circle back to one topic.
"this is your fault!"
"mine? how is this my fault?" cal's deep voice echoed through the drywall.
"you're the one who brought her here!" y/n always imagined her mother pointing her bony finger at her father's chest during this bit.
"martha, she is our daughter," cal would always say. the crack in his voice indicated more emotion than he let on.
"i did not choose to bring her into this world or into this house. might i remind you, that was all you! so no, she is not my daughter!"
"don't you dare say that. she is ours!"
"then tell me why. tell me why you had to bring her home."
it always went silent after that question. there were a few seconds where y/n could only hear her own heartbeat, then the sharp slamming of a door.
y/n never brought up the arguments, or the fact that she remembered them so long after. they stopped after the first few years, but martha's anger never really went away, it only changed shape.
her mom always made her school lunches and signed her permission slips and held her shoulder tight in the framed family photo like every mom did. but living with her mom sometimes felt like living with a roommate: the affection was never there.
at times, y/n resented her mother for it. she'd shut her eyes tight and imagine her birth mother was there instead.
she liked to imagine what she looked like: did they share the same jawline or eye color or skin tone? were their smiles and laughs the same? would her hands be soft and her eyelashes thick? the mental picture was slightly different every time, but always beautiful to y/n. she imagined her birth mother holding her tight, kissing her forehead, braiding her hair like moms did.
but on the days when she practiced a bit more grace, she began to understand her mother's perspective and how difficult it must have been to care for a child that you never wanted in the first place.
xxx
your fingers dance across the computer keyboard and your elbows dig into your mattress. you recognize bella in your peripheral, swiveling back and forth in your desk chair as she hacks away at chemistry problems. she always fidgets like that when she's losing focus, so you're not surpirsed when she swings around to face you with an exasperated look.
"y/n," bella whines. she throws her arms down by her sides and slouches in the chair.
"bells," you say cautiously, still typing and keeping your eyes glued to your computer screen. you're deep into your essay, and you'd prefer to get it done now rather than later.
"i'm tired," she says. her head lulls back and falls over the head of the chair. you want to roll your eyes at how dramatic she's being, but you're too focused on your character analysis of tess of the d'urbervilles.
"c'mon, just a little longer. i'm almost done," you say absentmindedly. it's a complete lie, but you'd say just about anything to get bella to focus. "and i know you have to do those problems by tonight."
"dude, you sound like mom," bella groans. you don't even flinch because you've heard that line too many times before.
she begins to swivel back toward the desk, and you think you've succeeded. but halfway there, she whips back around so fast that she steals your attention.
"so i was thinking for the carnival-"
"bella!" you chastise her, smashing your hands down on the keyboard. a mix of gibberish letters and symbols flash onto your screen.
"just give me a second!" bella defends herself. now she's sitting perfectly upright with a newfound sparkle in her eye. you roll your eyes, but listen as always. "i was thinking for the carnival, we should do a little double date, wouldn't that be so cute?"
"what?" you ask with a touch of annoyance.
"don't play dumb! i know you and phoenix have been texting," bella says, attempting to wiggle her eyebrows but failing miraculously.
she was right, you had been texting him. you almost forgot, and, now that you were thinking about it, you probably left him on read by accident. still, he's easy to talk to and pretty interesting, especially because he's a nationally ranked basketball player. that would make a lot of people assume he's a womanizer, but you like that he's an athlete. you know firsthand that to be that good at anything, you need drive and passion and discipline. those qualities are especially important to you, and they're requirements in a partner. they also aren't exactly easy to come by these days.
bella is right when she says that he's a perfect match for you on paper, but she's still more interested in him than you are. the seeds of a familiar feeling have already been planted themselves in the back of your mind. it always starts small, but grows into an inescapable dread.
your phone flashes beside you. you glance over and bella notices.
"ooh, is that him?" she squeals with pure excitement.
"uh, yeah," you say. you reach for you phone and quickly flip it so the screen is face down.
"what're you doing? answer him!" bella tells you, nearly jumping out of her seat.
"i'll answer later, it's—"
"y/n! lock in!" bella shouts, clapping her hands for emphasis.
you look at her. you see how animated she is, and you realize she's not going to let this one go, being the most stubborn person you know.
"jesus, okay," you say, grabbing your phone. when you turn it over and hold it close to your face, you see you have a few texts now:
hey
come over
my mom just left
you automatically scoff. you've been to her house enough times that maddy's mom loves you actually, so that wouldn't be a problem. you're not sure if her mom knows your last name, but you're sure she has no idea what you and maddy get up to in her room. all that aside, it's easy to understand the meaning behind maddy's abrupt text.
you glance back up at bella. she's beaming at you like a proud mother and you feel a pang of guilt in your chest. you should tell her the truth. you should tell her that you caved again, that you fell right back into maddy's grasp thanks to virtually no pressure. but bella would not be happy about that, and you'd be on the receiving end of a very lengthy and angry lecture. you know it's deserved nonetheless, but you don't want to deal with it right now. maybe sometime in the near future, but not right now.
you bury your head back in your phone and type a quick response.
not rn
i have hw
you imagine maddy rolling her eyes on the other end.
are u deadass
think of a better excuse next time
maddy
i'm serious
next time
there's a long pause. you think maddy is going to leave you on read, but right before you put your phone down, she replies.
whatever
it's exactly what you expect from her. you drop your phone and turn back to your computer.
"so? carnival?" bella asks expectantly.
you look up at her and smile, not because of phoenix or the carnival, but because of how excited bella looks.
"yeah, i'm in."
"perfect! i'll tell quen," she grins, immediately typing away on her phone, homework forgotten.
your smile fades as you attempt to refocus on your essay, but the words are all bleeding together. you can't even remember the last time you lied to bella.
xxx
since they were first uttered, martha's words continued to ring in y/n's ears.
they got louder when the kids at school would look between her and nate with confusion, when they would ask: "so if he's your brother, why are you a different color?" they got louder when people at the surrounding tables at her family's favorite restaurant would do double takes.
but y/n couldn't change the color of her skin or the bridge of her nose or the shape of her eyes. she couldn't look like the rest of her family, even if, for simplicity's sake, she sometimes wished she did.
cal tried his best to shut down these intrusive thoughts when he recognized them. nate and aaron even chipped in in the way that only protective older brothers could. they always reassured her that she was a part of the family no matter what.
y/n always nodded in response, pressing her lips together in a tight smile which hid her deeper feelings. y/n wanted to scream sometimes: she didn't need to be told she was a part of the family, she knew that. she just wished someone would tell the ugly, judgmental world that.
xxx
nate always got comfortable after maddy took him back. maddy didn't notice it at first, but after a few rounds of breaking up and getting back together, she recognized the pattern. he'd coast on his goodwill, granted to him by a grand gesture and expensive gift, while being a perfectly mediocre boyfriend. but soon enough, he'd mess up again, maddy would lose her shit, and the whole cycle would start over again. maddy was already noticing him start to slip.
it felt like every time maddy looked over, no matter where they were, his thumbs were typing away on his phone. that was strange for someone who could barely respond to his own girlfriend's texts. maddy had to snap her fingers in front of his face at lunch so he'd listen to her instead of staring down at his lap.
on the rare occasion that he wasn't texting, his phone was still blowing up. while he was driving her home, she eyed his phone in the cup holder, constantly flashing and buzzing over her voice. when she finally asked him who it was and if he wanted her to answer for him, he mumbled a quick excuse about his dad and tucked his phone under his leg.
obviously he was hiding something. unlike nate, maddy was an expert at hiding things. she also wasn't born yesterday. maddy's first instinct was that her boyfriend was cheating on her, as would be the first thought of most girlfriends.
after nate drops her off, maddy sits alone in her room and thinks about it. she thinks about him texting another girl, about them exchanging nudes and flirty, vomit-inducing texts. she thinks about them even meeting up in person, of them fucking in his bed, the same one she'd laid in so many times.
maddy begins to feel the familiar rush. it's the feeling of her blood starting to boil in her veins, the same way she felt when she saw nate at the party with his hands all over that random blonde. that feeling slowly rises within her, building upon itself as it always does. but before it reaches its peak, it dissipates. her mind strays and the feeling dies halfway.
would she really be that angry if nate cheated? of course, she would throw a fit unlike any other. she'd publicly humiliate him, and probably herself in the process, so he knew how badly he fucked up. but deep down, she wondered if it would truly tear her apart. she also wondered how nate would feel if he knew she was cheating on him.
she felt the newfound urge to reach for her phone and tap on your contact name. recently, that seemed to be the cure to every uneasy thought she had, even though most of the time you dodged her. still, she hadn't been deterred yet.
but instead of texting you this time, she clicks on instagram. she doesn't even need to search for your username as she already sees it at the top corner of her screen. she clicks on your story, and sees the most recent picture you posted. it's you in your cheer uniform on the sidelines of the last football game. you're posing back to back with one of your teammates, pom poms in hand, makeup done to a tee, and teal ribbon dangling from your ponytail.
perfect, is what maddy thinks. you always look perfect in a way that shouldn't be possible. it's some quality in your beautiful smile. it screams cheer captain. golden girl. everyone loves me.
maddy's not sure how you do it, how you keep up this spotless image without ever letting it slip. it must be exhausting, at least it would be for her. but she feels a hidden pride knowing she's one of the only people that can peel back your mask and disassemble the person everyone thinks you are.
xxx
y/n's perspective started to shift when she was eleven.
she was sitting in the front seat of her dad's truck, feet dangling just above the ground, barely tall enough to see over the dashboard. they'd gotten in the car a while ago, but cal never started the engine.
a random boy on the playground told her that her family wasn't her "real" family. cal witnessed it and had to hold himself back from hurting a fifth grader. instead, he turned toward his only daughter with an earnest look in his eyes.
"y/n," he said, more seriously than y/n had ever heard him speak before. "don't let anyone tell you you're not apart of this family. you are." this was something she had heard many times before. he paused, staring into her curious eyes which always seemed to dig the deepest truths out of him. "you're the best of us, y/n. don't ever forget that. they'll understand it soon enough. you're going to show them."
that was the exact moment when a different thought started to drown out the old one.
the best. show them.
she sat in silence with her dad on the way home. little did he know, his eleven year old daughter was having an epiphany, if you could even have one at that age. she didn't need to look like a jacobs. she needed to prove she was one.
xxx
in middle and high school, y/n excelled. whatever she decided to do, she decided she would be the best at it.
she studied hard and maintained a perfect gpa. she danced competitively and became a top-ranked dancer in the state of california, and later the youngest captain of her school's cheerleading squad. she made friends easily. she let go of what she couldn't control, and poured all her energy into what she could.
some would say she was a little too perfect, that she must have some bodies in her backyard or something else that she was hiding. she didn't do drugs, not even weed, and she never drank past her limits. she said "hi" to more people in the hallway than not. she rarely missed a day of school. she was blindingly gorgeous. she talked to guys and had sex, but she wasn't a whore. when her brothers knocked someone over in the hallway without sparing a glance, y/n helped them pick up their things.
she was the perfect child, the type that other parents would compare their own kids to. the type that other parents wanted to call their own, other guys wanted to have, and other girls wanted to be. y/n jacobs. suddenly, the color of her skin was the least interesting thing about her.
xxx
maddy kneels on nate's bed for another round of mediocre sex that leaves her feeling strangely empty inside. she can feel his hand in her hair and the other on her hip, but she's focused on something else entirely: nate's phone, buzzing face down on his nightstand.
she watches it, even when nate folds over her, pressing his chest against her back to tell her "that was amazing." not long after, he walks into his bathroom and turns the shower on, leaving maddy to sit on his bed and contemplate if going through his phone would make her a bad girlfriend.
she thinks it over for a minute, eyes flicking between his phone and the ajar bathroom door. it's a golden opportunity, though probably unethical. but maddy knows she's done worse things, and snatches the phone off the nightstand.
she swipes through his text messages and instagram dms, searching for incriminating evidence. much to her dismay, she finds absolutely nothing. it isn't until she checks his camera roll and scrolls back a bit that she finds something, albeit not at all what she was expecting.
"what the fuck," she mumbles under her breath. there's so many dick pics, all of which are not nate's, that maddy's jaw literally drops.
she clicks on a few photos to make sure she's not seeing things and only gets further confirmation that none of these are nate's. she stares at the screen, mouth still open as she begins to process this new information.
why the fuck would a straight guy need pictures of other guys dicks? unless nate isn't...
the thought alone makes maddy recoil. she quickly deletes all the tabs she's opened, shuts off his phone, and places it back on his nightstand.
nate isn't gay, obviously. he sticks his dick in maddy practically any chance he gets. but you could like boys and girls, right? that must be true.
she gets dressed haphazardly and grabs her bag. she plucks her lip gloss out and smears a generous coat over her lips. she checks her reflection in the mirror on nate's wall, smoothing her hair back into place and ensuring her makeup hasn't smudged.
"my mom called, i gotta go," maddy shouts loud enough for nate to hear her over the water.
"okay, i love you, bye," he says back.
"love you too."
maddy slams the door shut behind her and exhales like she can finally breathe again. the staircase is right in front of her. she should walk down the steps and out of this hellish house and get in her car and drive home. but her gaze darts to her right. her eyes fall upon the white door just feet away from nate's. she stares at it for a few moments, picturing the sight that lies behind it. it magnetically pulls her closer.
she's been thinking about this opportunity ever since you sent her those pictures of your neckline tugged beneath your breasts and your fingers toying with your bottom lip. she remembers the gut wrenching feeling of looking at those pictures for the first time and sneaking her own fingers beneath her waistband.
she places her hand on the handle without a shred of doubt and gently turns it. she opens the door slowly, not for lack of confidence, only to prevent the loud creaking of the hinges. before she can even see inside, she slips her body through the narrow crack and gently closes the door behind her.
your back is facing her. you're staring at your reflection in the full length mirror hanging on the back of your bathroom door, combing your fingers through your hair. you're wearing your dance clothes with a pair of baggy track pants on top. that allows maddy a perfect view of your back muscles as you raise your arms to put your hair up, as if she needed another a reason to be here.
you catch maddy in the reflection, and don't bother turning around. it's far from unusual to catch her sneaking into your room.
"maddy, i have practice," you say, trying to focus on gathering your hair into a ponytail.
maddy doesn't answer. instead, she stalks closer, eyes sticking to all the places where fabric isn't covering you. she's still not completely used to the overwhelming desire that conquers her body every time she's alone with you. somehow, it's even worse when you try to fight it off.
"i have to leave soon," you tell her once she's right behind you. her hands land at your sides, nails scraping along bare skin. your back subtly arches at the feeling.
she stares into the mirror over your shoulder, her eyes now holding yours in the reflection. before you can form a coherent though, her fingers are just above the elastic waistband of your pants. you can barely find your words. you reserve all of your strength for resisting your body's natural, unavoidable reaction to her. "don't-"
"well, you don't have to leave now, do you?" though phrased like one, it's not a question. her warm palms press against your skin as her hands fully take hold of your waist. she subtly pulls you back so your back is flush against her chest. she hooks her chin over your shoulder, sparing you one daring look before she turns her head and presses her lips against your neck. your head naturally lulls away from her and your eyes flutter shut. maddy watches it all and smiles into the next kiss.
you're weak. you know that. you should still be mad at her. you should listen to bella and forget all about her. but maddy kisses you again and again, each growing heavier and climbing up your jugular until she's biting the skin just behind your ear. a louder exhale escapes your lips, teetering on a moan. you can't remember why it's good to be strong.
maddy's thumbs creep beneath your pants, catching on the elastic waistband. she pulls them down over your ass, before letting them drop to the ground, revealing just tiny compression shorts underneath.
once your pants are pooling around your ankles, her hands find your waist once more, this time snaking around to your stomach and firmly pulling you backwards, toward your bed.
"stay with me," she whispers, lips still barely removed from your neck. she adopts that seductive tone that leaves you at her mercy. it doesn't even matter what words are coming from her mouth—you're hers.
you drop your hair, which you previously held in a loose ponytail with your hand, and let her walk you backwards to your bed. at the last second, she slides out from behind you, and pushes you backward with a firm a hand to your chest.
you softly gasp as back hits the mattress with a subtle bounce. your head falls back, nearly tipping over the edge of the bed, and your hair fans out cinematically on the neat comforter. you look up at maddy, lips slightly parted and hands resting lifelessly beside your head, like a sleeping beauty who's just awoken and seen everything in color for the first time. you're surrendered to her and out of control. that's what turns maddy on the most.
she places each knee on either side of your hips and straddles you on the bed. she leans over you, letting her eyes soak up the sight, before she surges forward and presses her lips against yours.
you both realize it's been way too long since the last time. you can't remember why you spent so much time being angry with her and she can't remember why she wastes any of her time with nate. she devours you bit by bit, while simultaneously finding your open hands beside your head. she interlaces her fingers with yours and you feel a sudden rush of a emotion and a confusing urge to cry.
maddy subconciously grinds her hips down against yours, already feeling warmer and wetter than she did with nate, mere minutes ago. she can't remember the last time she's wanted something this badly and she can't believe she ever let this feeling fade.
maddy's impatience means she detaches her lips from yours, leaving a wet mess behind. she pushes your thighs apart and shifts so she's kneeling in between your legs. she sits back on her heels, just as out of breath as you are. she watches as you reach for your sports bra and tug it up over your head, discarding it on the floor behind you.
"fuck, i missed this," she says, eyes glued to your chest. you're not sure if she's talking to you, herself, or your breasts as she reaches forward and gropes you with one hand. you arch into her touch, head turning to the side and cheek pressing against the comforter.
with her other hand, maddy reaches for your waistband and wastes no time in tugging it down. you lift your hips to help her drag the tight shorts down your legs and onto the carpet. just as she's about to duck down, your hand grabs at her top.
"maddy," you whine, pulling on the fabric of her blue halter top again. she hesitates for a second, staring at your small pout while realizing how much she loves the sound of you and how it goes straight to her core. then she listens to your plea. she quickly pulls her top off, leaving her almost as naked as you.
she finally grabs the underside of one of your thighs and pushes it up and over her shoulder, before doing the one thing she's been aching to do. she leans down and licks a long stripe agianst your slit. you moan like clockwork even with such little stimulation, probably because no one's touched you since she last did two months ago. your wetness coats her tongue.
she eats you out just like you taught her to almost a year ago, when she got tired of using just her fingers and wanted to taste pussy for the first time. yours, specifically. she keeps her lips closed around your clit while rhythmically sinking and curling two fingers inside of you.
she enjoys eating you out, but the best part by far, is the sounds you make when she does it just right. your moans and whines stir something within her that only you have ever brought out. she can feel her panties growing wetter the louder and needier you get, even as you cover your mouth so your brother doesn't hear next door.
"fuck, maddy, just like that," you whine when her tongue circles your clit just right.
she watches you closely, noticing how your eyes squeeze shut and your nails scrape against her scalp when she's doing extra good. she thinks she could spend all day here, making you feel good and grinding against your mattress.
when you're not looking at the back of your own eyelids, you look down at maddy perez between your legs. besides realizing how intensely beautiful she is, especially like this, you can't help but wonder how you've gotten so lucky to be wanted by her of all people.
you come on her tongue quicker than usual. one of her hands holds your thigh over her shoulder, while the other holds your hips down as you desperately buck into her face. you moan her name loud, but strained, like you're scared of somebody hearing you. she licks and swallows all of you despite your sensitive whines, rising from between your legs with evidence of you all over her face.
"tastes so fucking good," she says, sucking the rest off of her fingers. you could come again just from the sight of that. "you should let me do this all the time."
you can't respond as the aftershocks of your orgasm continue to hit you, leaving you in a hopeless daze. all you can think about is how you will definitely be doing this again, preferably as soon as possible. there's a thousand good reasons why you shouldn't, but the one reason why you should is sitting right in front of you with an insatiable look in her eye. fuck the consequences.
adopted by the jacobs family, you built your life around becoming one of them. becoming the best of them. straight A student. cheer captain. beloved by all. your image is spotless. besides the fact that you're fucking your older brother's girlfriend.
maddy perez threatens to unravel all the work you've done as you fall deeper and deeper into a relationship with her that ceases to exist. at the end of the day, she will always choose nate. you know that, but you just can't seem to let her go, because who knows. maybe just once, she might choose you too.
IMPORTANT:
everything in italics is rue's narration (sorry for so much use of y/n)
reader is intended to be poc and has an extensive backstory but anyone can read
adopted by the jacobs family, you built your life around becoming one of them. becoming the best of them. straight A student. cheer captain. beloved by all. your image is spotless. besides the fact that you're fucking your older brother's girlfriend.
maddy perez threatens to unravel all the work you've done as you fall deeper and deeper into a relationship with her that ceases to exist. at the end of the day, she will always choose nate. you know that, but you just can't seem to let her go, because who knows. maybe just once, she might choose you too.
word count: 5.3k
chapter warnings: mentions of death, blood, family trauma, suggestive nudity
a/n: ALL ITALICS ARE RUE'S NARRATION
and smut next chapter...
y/n's birth mother died in labor, seconds after she heard the first healthy cries of her first born child. amniotic fluid embolism, her dad would later explain. it occurs when amniotic fluid and fetal cells enter the the mother's bloodstream, triggering an unpredictable allergic reaction that results in heart failure and uncontrollable bleeding.
from that moment on, y/n felt like there was blood on her hands. in fact, the first time she got really high, she swore she felt like her hands were submerged in liquid. when she looked down, for a split second, she saw the redness dripping from her fingers and heard the distant cries of a baby. she permanently swore off weed after that.
she would never say it aloud because it sounded crazy, but she came to the logical conclusion that she killed her own mother; it was her cells that infected her mother's bloodstream, causing her to bleed out on the delivery bed.
but in a really twisted way, her mother's death had been her first stroke of luck. it was the first domino tipped over in a long line of improbable events.
her birth father was a construction worker who dedicated his life to building the houses that half the town lived in now. y/n never learned much about him, but she knew he loved her mother more than anything. so much so, that his wife's death broke him, throwing him into a debilitating depression.
not only did he lose his other half, but the other half of his young family's income. the economic crash of 2000 placed growing financial pressure on the couple. caring for a newborn as a single parent would be virtually impossible for y/n's birth father.
but, as luck would have it, her father worked for a lucrative construction company under an extremely generous boss. eight days after her birth, y/n was adopted as the youngest member of the jacobs family.
xxx
you've had the same strict morning routine since middle school. it doesn't change the morning of your first day of senior year.
you wake to the sound of your obnoxiously loud alarm and immediately call bella to wake her up and make sure she'll be ready by seven thirty. you roll out of bed and open all of your curtains, letting the sunlight illuminate your room. you step into your bathroom where you brush your teeth with your electric toothbrush and wash your face. you grab the outfit you carefully laid out the night before on your beanbag chair, which you begged for in seventh grade but never actually use. then you go back to your bathroom mirror to fix your hair into a pre-planned style, put on your daily makeup, and spritz your favorite perfume everywhere. you grab your bag, ensuring all of your completed homework is tucked away inside, and head downstairs, sometimes running into nate if he's on time for once.
you descend the stairs, passing all the childhood and family photos your mom has hung on the wall over the years. there's a picture of little you in your leotard after a dance recital holding an obnoxiously large bouquet your dad bought you. there's nate in his peewee football uniform. there's you and nate wearing matching backpacks before your first day of kindergarten. there's you on your dad's shoulders, laughing as you hold both of his hands. that one's probably your favorite.
at the center of it all, there's a large framed family photo of the five of you. you're wearing a pink floral dress you remember hating, and your mom's hand is tightly wound around your small shoulder. you don't like looking at that photo anymore. if you look at it for too long, it feels like you're looking at a different family.
when you walk into the kitchen, your dad's already there, leaning over the counter in one of his work shirts and drinking coffee out of a tumbler. he's staring intently ahead like he usually does when he's thinking hard about something.
"hey, dad," you say, walking toward him and drawing him out of his trance.
"hey, sweetheart." he wraps an arm around your shoulders in a side hug and kisses your hair. "last first day, huh?"
"yup," you say, reaching into the cabinet and grabbing a granola bar. "still feels like a normal day though."
"it's crazy. i swear, i was sending you off to kindergarten just yesterday."
"you say that every year, dad." you smile at him from across the island. he looks at you like he's still seeing that little kid. "you going to work this early?"
"yeah, got an early meeting. and i just couldn't sleep," he says, lifting the tumbler to his lips again.
"you've been saying that a lot. it's not good for you, dad," you start, walking toward the door and grabbing your keys off the table. "not getting enough sleep will take years off your life."
"sure you don't wanna be a doctor?" he remarks with a hint of a smile. he never takes you seriously when you try to be wise with him.
you look over your shoulder and make sure he sees you playfully roll your eyes. still, you're smiling back at him.
"bye, dad. love you."
"love you," you hear him say before walking out the door and shutting it behind you.
xxx
cal liked to recount the story of the first time he saw her. when she was still little enough for bedtime stories, he would sit on the edge of her floral bed spread and stroke her hair as he retold the story.
"i looked through the glass window and there were a hundred other babies in their cribs, but right away i knew which one was you," he'd say. "you were so tiny. smaller than all the other babies. i just wanted to take you home and protect you."
y/n would smile back at her dad in that disarming way that came naturally to her. for years to come, she'd be told how infectious her smile could be, and in that moment, cal was a victim.
"there's a lot of terrible, ugly things out there in the world, y/n. but it's my job to keep you safe from those things," he'd say, his thumb stroking her soft cheek as she gazed up at him with round eyes. her little fingers held her blanket tight under her chin. y/n nodded, completely trusting this declaration from the person who loved her most in this world.
the moment cal stepped through the front door of the house and into the foyer for the first time, cradling a swaddled y/n in his arms, something inside of him shifted. his then two and a half year old son aaron ran to the door and hugged his leg. his wife martha walked over, holding their four month old nate. but cal never looked up from y/n's chubby sleeping face.
cal was an unexpressive man who was cold and strict with his sons. "i'm not raising boys, i'm raising men," he'd say. he'd let them cry until their throats were sandpaper. he forced them to play football as soon as they could run. he ensured that his household had rules and that his sons upheld those rules above everything.
but y/n radiated a certain warmth that seemed to melt his icy exterior. in those early days, he spent every waking moment with her, often neglecting his sons just to rock her into the wee hours of the morning. y/n was allowed to try whatever she liked: dance, soccer, karate, pottery classes, girl scouts, and everything in between. y/n got bedtime stories and spoon feeding and father-daughter dances and 'i love you's. cal's only daughter was his soft spot.
the favoritism was obvious, especially to aaron and nate who complained when y/n got special privileges like a flexible curfew or a more expensive car. they often asked why, but never got a true answer other than "because i said so." y/n didn't even understand why, but she tried not to question a good thing.
xxx
you roll up in front of bella's house right at seven thirty in your mercedes convertible. it's the car you picked out when your dad took you to the dealership for your sixteenth birthday. nate and aaron complained for months afterward because your car was more expensive than their trucks, but your dad told them to fuck off, and so did you.
with the top down, the sun is shining on your face, your hair is flying in the soft, cooling wind, and you're blasting nostalgic songs a little too loud for this early in the morning. if you don't think too hard, it still feels like the middle of summer.
you have to honk your horn before bella bursts out of the front door, her bag falling off her shoulder and shoes barely on her feet. she runs down the paved path to your car with a smile already on her face. she tosses her bag in the backseat and braces one hand on the side of the car to jump into the passenger seat without opening the door.
"first day of senior year!" she beams, leaning forward to wrap her arms around your neck and pull you into a sloppy hug. she presses her cheek against yours and you use one arm to hug her tight. after a quick second, she pulls away and reaches for the volume dial, turning it all the way up.
"forget you" by ceelo green blasts through the speakers, and you and bella sing along to every word as you speed through the neighborhood streets. bella's dancing along too, putting on a show for you as you drive. your singing is interrupted by laughter every few seconds, and you get that carefree, middle of summer feeling again. that is, until you pull into the school parking lot. your throat feels dry from singing too loud, but you don't even turn down the volume.
you slalom through the rows of the lot while waving at friends as they get out of their cars. you slow down to respond to everyone who calls yours and bella's names. at one point, a voice calls your name from your left and you lean out of the car to dap up one of your friends on the football team while keeping the other hand on the wheel. meanwhile bella's hanging out the other side to catch up with one of her friends who's walking alongside the car. it feels like the only person you don't talk to is your own brother, who drives past you in his truck. neither of you give the other a second look.
"what's your first period again?" you ask bella as you step into the open-air walkways that surround the school building.
"chem, unfortunately," bella says, already reapplying her lip gloss and using her phone camera as a mirror. "what about you?" you make a sharp turn, looking out into the already busy courtyard.
you see several familiar faces, but only make eye contact with rue bennett, who you haven't seen since she got out of rehab. you wave and smile like usual, which almost feels refreshing for rue considering the reactions she's received that morning. rue cracks an awkward half smile and subtly waves back.
bella follows your gaze. "oh my god, that's the girl, who like, slit her wrist at the party."
"what?" you incredulously ask, head whipping toward your best friend. "rue?"
"no, the new girl next to her," bella says, nodding to your left.
you glance back, and sure enough, rue's talking to a blonde girl sitting beside her on the picnic table. you'd already heard the story from multiple people of how she stood up to nate during one of his violent episodes, albeit by threatening him and inflicting more violence on herself. but you were impressed by her bravery. before two nights ago, you can't remember anyone ever standing up to nate besides yourself.
"bella! y/n!" a voice interrupts your staring. cassie howard is waving at you both as she approaches from the other end of the hallway. she's flanked by kat, bb, and maddy. great, just who you were hoping to see.
"hey guys!" bella responds as you walk closer. you simply smile. your eyes naturally fall to maddy, who's wearing a lavender mini dress and matching sheer shrug. she's already looking at you, her piercing eyes outlined with purple and hot pink eyeshadow. she brushes her dark hair out of her face and behind her hoop earrings like finally she's seeing something worth looking at.
"great party on saturday!" cassie adds with a grin.
you immediately tear your eyes away from maddy once you realize what you're doing and keep your gaze on the others. you don't want to give her the satisfaction of capturing your attention, not after the party.
maddy immediately notices. she narrows her eyes at you.
"thanks!" bella says before you pass them. once you're out of earshot, bella turns to you, laughing a little. "she's definitely sucking up to me."
"yeah, for sure," you say, checking the time on your phone. since cassie decided she wanted bella's older brother, she's gone out of her way to be friends with bella. "she's not exactly subtle."
"yeah, but, i like her, i think. i definitely like her better than some of the other girls chris has dated. she's sweet."
bella goes on, but you're not really present. you glance back over your shoulder, catching maddy's departing figure. you watch as she jumps on kat, looping her arms around kat's shoulders and hugging her tight. you can hear her cheerfully screaming something, but can't make out the words. your chest briefly tightens.
whatever. you turn back toward bella and continue listening like a good friend would. you decide you should spend less time thinking about maddy, because clearly she thinks so little of you. out of sight, out of mind.
xxx
y/n met maddy at freshman year cheer tryouts. at first, she remembered being a little scared of maddy, like most girls were.
maddy was quiet and strikingly beautiful. the confident way she carried herself made you feel like she was too pretty, too chic, too good to be talking to you. even y/n, who was comfortable talking to anyone, felt a little intimidated approaching her.
people also liked to whisper behind her back that maddy was crazy. rumors swirled about her beating up kids in eighth grade and stealing girls' boyfriends. y/n heard it all, but they were just rumors at the end of the day, which y/n only half believed. y/n was determined to be friends with everyone on the team.
"hey! maddy, right?" y/n said the first time she approached her, cheer ponytail bouncing behind her. maddy simply nodded, her eyes raking up and down y/n, openly sizing her up. y/n felt a rush of nerves, but didn't miss a beat. "you're a great dancer, so...effortless." y/n smiled genuinely, fidgeting with the hem of her spandex shorts. "i'm y/n."
after their initial encounter, y/n wanted to chase the fluttery feeling she felt every time maddy's sharp eyes met hers or she coaxed that crooked smile out of maddy. she was just so gorgeous, y/n felt anxious and unsure around maddy in a way that she had never felt around other people. she liked the rush. but maddy was distant in a way that made y/n careful not to come on too strong.
then maddy started dating y/n's brother.
xxx
you tighten your high pony in the bathroom mirror, ignoring the hustle and bustle of your cheer team behind you. it's chaos in the girls bathroom as everyone prepares for the friday pep rally in a few minutes, meant to hype everyone up for the first football game next week. girls are pulling on their teal and black cheer uniforms, touching up their makeup, smearing teal glitter in their hair, and talking absurdly loud.
you're focused on perfecting your appearance before you perform in front of the entire school. you smooth over the blackhawk logo at the center of your cropped long sleeve top and pull down your black skirt so the v-line waistband rests just below your belly button. your teammate hands you the glitter stick and you accept it with thanks. you lean over the sink and pull your hair taut before quickly brushing the stick against your scalp, but nothing comes out. you knit your brows in confusion, and try again, only for the same result.
"what the—"
"here, let me." you watch in the mirror as hand appears from behind you, snatching the stick out of your hand. her other hand comes to your shoulder and assertively turns your body to the side. you're face to face with maddy.
you let it happen. her hand falls to your cheek, tilting your head downward so she can see the top of your head. your eyes meet hers for a fraction of a second before you divert your gaze down to her clean white cheer shoes. you feel her thumb nail rub slightly against your cheek, brushing your bottom lashes. her fingers press a bit harder into your skin as she uses her hand for leverage and swipes the stick agonizingly slow over your hair. the glitter comes out in a perfect streak.
she repeats the motion to cover more of your head. it feels like each stroke is slower than the last, and you wonder if she's doing that on purpose. the chatter of the room fades into background noise as you focus on the white laces of her shoes.
a mix of feelings swim around in your gut. some are telling you that you should be angry, that you should tear your head out of her hands and turn your back on her and ignore her like she's been ignoring you. the others are telling you that her hand on your face feels so fucking good and you'd be stupid to move away.
you don't know how long you stand there motionless, but maddy eventually puts the stick down on the sink counter. two of her fingers find the underside of your chin and tilt your head back up so your eyes find hers again. a smirk is pulling at her lips. you know she enjoys watching you so flustered, like she can see the internal battle happening behind your eyes.
"hi," she says softly, as if you've just seen her for the first time. your lips part just barely, and you can feel the thin strings of saliva keeping them together. your brain goes blank for a second. all you can feel is her two hands on your skin and her eyes boring into yours, daring you to do something like they did at the party.
the party. you finally come to your senses and tear your head out of her hands and take a step back. you brush your hands on your skirt and clear your throat, whipping around to the face the rest of the room.
"alright, ladies, let's go!" you shout, clapping your hands together. you walk past maddy without a second glance, leading your team out of the bathroom.
maddy stands there watching you. she observes your perfectly upright posture and your hands firmly planted on your hips. you flip your ponytail over your shoulder and raise your chin high like you're a sergeant leading your soldiers off to war. maddy scoffs and thinks, who the fuck are you kidding.
the pep rally goes off without a hitch. you descend the stairs into the cafeteria right as the music starts and the football team runs out in their jerseys. they obnoxiously cheer and jump on tables while you lead the formation of cheerleaders. you're front and center as you perform your dance routine, maddy on your right and cassie on your left.
you could do this in your sleep. you've done far harder routines with far less practice. each swing of your arms and roll of your body is sharp and flawless and alluring. if you weren't so focused, you'd notice maddy's eyes frequently flicking over to you as she copies your every move. you'd notice her eyes lowering when you spin and then rising again when you bounce on your toes.
you do, unfortunately, see nate out of the corner of your vision, who's clapping his hands together and undoubtedly staring at maddy. you look away, instead finding your friends sitting together at a table cheering you on. you spare bella a wink as you sway your hips and she pretends to faint.
you spin once more and your eyes finally catch on maddy's. her lips are pressed tightly together, but her eyes are hungry. so hungry that you have to avert you gaze before you get distracted. that's the one thing you can't ever afford to do.
xxx
anyone who knew y/n knew she was not close with her brother, though it wasn't always like that. her and nate were inseparable as little kids, partly because they were always in the same grade, but mostly because they were best friends. y/n always looked up to nate and nate loved playing the protective older brother. they did everything together.
but around the time elementary school ended, nate changed. something darkened in him. suddenly he locked himself in his room and locked y/n out. he'd rather lift weights and talk to girls than play 'childish' games with his baby sister. he had a newfound look in his eye that conveyed a disgust with everything and everyone in his household. that sort of thing was normal for kids his age, but this was extreme.
y/n cried at first. she cried when nate shut the door on her, when he called her a "big baby," when he pushed her away from him and his friends. but life went on. she learned how to exist without her built in best friend, how to excel without him. and by the time they were high school juniors, they barely had a relationship with each other, despite being the football and cheer captains respectively.
they ignored each other in the school hallways and kept separate groups of friends, so much so that a lot of people who hadn't grown up with them didn't know they were related. y/n would even say she hated her brother sometimes. she hated the way he talked about women, the way he treated people like they were inferior, and she especially hated all of his violent outbursts. she recognized something sinister in him, something she didn't want to be associated with.
so when y/n heard maddy was dating her brother, she didn't know how to feel. y/n wasn't judgmental by nature, but she questioned anyone who chose to spend their time with nate.
but nate had fooled many girls into fucking him or even dating him, so maybe maddy would learn her lesson. though, as everyone would come to realize, maddy simply couldn't learn. maddy and nate's tumultuous on and off relationship confused y/n (as it did everyone) to the point where she never really knew when they were together or not. she tried to keep herself away from their relationship for her own sake.
of course it was difficult, considering a lot of their relationship took place in y/n's house. she'd often run into maddy and liked getting to know her better, even if the rest of her family didn't feel the same way. y/n had come to learn that maddy was beautiful and intimidating and intelligent. y/n hated watching nate ruin her life over and over again for nearly two years. not only was it infuriating, but it was exhausting.
then the unthinkable happened.
y/n only realized how bad she wanted it after they had done it. she realized all those flutters in her chest from freshman year and the nervousness every time she spoke to maddy was all just her wanting exactly what had happened in that tiny bathroom, pressed up against the sink. she just never imagined maddy would feel the same way, and that maddy would want to do it again, and again, and again, even when she got back together with nate.
xxx
nate asked maddy out again a week after she embarrassed him at mckay's party. it was predictable. they'd break up, there would be public fallout, and then before any of it could really mean anything, nate would be making amends. of course, maddy had to play coy at first, before he made a grand gesture and she could take him back.
but something felt off this time. it had nothing to do with nate. he was the same as usual. he let her win at bowling and he performatively lifted her off the ground when she scored. outwardly, maddy was normal too. she gave nate her hand so he could kiss the back of it. she smiled and laughed and let him sling his arm over her shoulders as they walked out.
but every so often she thought of you. when nate looked at her, she thought of the way you looked at her at the party. she thought of your big eyes, the resistance within them crumbling the longer you looked at her.
she thought of when you failed to look at her in the hallway. it was so unlike you. she remembered wanting to turn around and grab you and force you to stare into her eyes till you melted into her hands.
she acted on that impulse in the bathroom. she remembered feeling the softness of your skin beneath her fingers. she also remembered how quickly you tore away from her and the bitter taste in her mouth afterwards.
even as she yanked nate into an alleyway in the pouring rain and he backed her against the wall and kissed her, she thought of you for a split second. she thought of your barely parted lips from that morning. she thought of the effortless way you moved your perfect body like you born to dance. she thought about what that body looked like sans cheer uniform. but then she reminded herself of what was real: nate's firm hands on her hips, his teeth clashing against her, the sound of his zipper, and the soft pattering of rain.
afterwards, in the comfort of her room, maddy kneels on her bed and opens the present nate bought for her. she lifts the red lid, tosses it carelessly on the floor, and pushes the tissue paper aside. she pinches the straps of the piece of clothing with each thumb and forefinger and holds it up in front of her face. it's a hot pink baby doll lingerie top adorned with red hearts. maddy instantly cringes.
"ew," she says out loud. it's not even the fact that it's ugly. it's the fact that nate picked this out, bought it, wrapped it up, and gave it to her thinking this is what she wanted from him. it used to be fur coats and designer sunglasses, but this? this cheap piece of fabric was a new low and she hoped it wasn't a metaphor for their relationship.
still, maddy reaches for the hem of her tank top and pulls it over her head. she slides off her pants next, leaving her in just a pair of white panties with lace trim. she slips into the lingerie which hangs just below her ass and crawls onto her bed. she adjusts herself among the pillows before raising her phone. one picture is all she needs before she's tapping send. then she waits, the images of the day replaying ruthlessly in her mind.
the notification hits your phone while you're cocooned in your bed sheets, doom scrolling in the dark. you hesitate when her name appears on your screen. the text below it:
i miss you
you scoff under your breath. you've been holding out all week, and you're not going to give in. you're not that easy.
but then she sends another text, and now you're more intrigued: 1 attachment, it says.
your internal monologue quickly changes; it can't be that bad to just have a quick peek. "fuck it," you whisper to yourself. you click on it and, once it loads, you tap the picture that follows.
the frame starts at her cupid's bow and cuts off at the start of her thighs. the sheer pink fabric hides little of her silky smooth skin. your eyes shamelessly drag up and down the photo, from the darker pink cups that push up her breasts, down to her thin lacy panties. you've seen those panties before, and now all you can think about is every time you've dragged your fingers over them, feeling her wetness soak through the fabric.
her free hand is placed thoughtfully on her chest above the frilly low neckline of the lingerie to show off her matching pink nails. her lips are intentionally pouted. you can imagine her lying on her bed, pouting innocently at you while saying those words: i miss you.
you should turn your phone off. you should roll over and go to sleep. you know that. but you can't seem to muster up the strength to do any of that. once again, you simply can't look away. her voice replays in your head. i miss you. it's like you're in a trance, and before you know what you're doing, your fingers are typing away on your screen.
stop it
you send it before the regret washes over you. your thumb hovers over your phone's power button, but the three dots appear instantly, so you wait, staring at the screen, unsure of what she'll say and if it could change your mind.
what's wrong with you
you scoff again, louder this time. is she serious? what's wrong with me? you weren't the one who fucked a random guy in the middle of a party two days ago to get back at your loser ex-boyfriend. you weren't the one cheating on your boyfriend with his little sister. it irks you that she can't recognize why that might be a turn off for you. it should have been from the start.
you don't have the energy to explain yourself, and you realize, you don't need to explain yourself. she's not your girlfriend. she's made that painfully clear. responding in the first place was a mistake. why do i keep doing this to myself?
your thumb slides against the screen, scrolling back to the photo she sent. right, that's why. you can't stop because maddy perez is the most beautiful girl you've ever seen. it just so happens that she's dating your loser brother and can be really, really irritating sometimes. her next text is proof of that.
can you just be normal and send one back
"seriously," you mumble incredulously. but you read her text twice, and then thrice. a familiar feeling is creeping up your spine. your fingers fervently tap against the keyboard again.
will you leave me alone if i do
her response is almost instant.
no
you roll your eyes, but you knowing you've already lost. you know your weakness is when maddy shows she wants you, just as much as you try not to want her.
you flip onto your stomach and slide the spaghetti strings of your loose tank top off your shoulders until it's pooling around your torso. because as much as you tell yourself to stop, deep down, you don't want to. even if you're annoyed with her, the feeling of maddy perez wanting you—not nate, not some faceless guy at a party—poisons every bit of self restraint you have left.
adopted by the jacobs family, you built your life around becoming one of them. becoming the best of them. straight A student. cheer captain. beloved by all. your image is spotless. besides the fact that you're fucking your older brother's girlfriend.
maddy perez threatens to unravel all the work you've done as you fall deeper and deeper into a relationship with her that ceases to exist. at the end of the day, she will always choose nate. you know that, but you just can't seem to let her go, because who knows. maybe just once, she might choose you too.
IMPORTANT:
everything in italics is rue's narration (sorry for so much use of y/n)
reader is intended to be poc and has an extensive backstory but anyone can read
adopted by the jacobs family, you built your life around becoming one of them. becoming the best of them. straight A student. cheer captain. beloved by all. your image is spotless. besides the fact that you're fucking your older brother's girlfriend.
maddy perez threatens to unravel all the work you've done as you fall deeper and deeper into a relationship with her that ceases to exist. at the end of the day, she will always choose nate. you know that, but you just can't seem to let her go, because who knows. maybe just once, she might choose you too.
word count: 4.4k
chapter warnings: mentions of sex, figuring out sexuality, drinking, nate jacobs
a/n: ALL ITALICS ARE RUE'S NARRATION (sorry for so much use of y/n)
you lean back in the passenger seat, throwing your feet up on the dashboard with an obnoxious thump because you know nate hates when you do that. he glances at you in his peripheral, but doesn't say anything. if you were anyone else, he'd tell you to put your feet down, but he was tired of arguing with you, the one person that never seemed to back down to him.
you stare out the window, ignoring each other's presence as one of nate's fuckboy songs plays so loud that the whole car vibrates. your eyes drag down the suburban streets, identifying familiar houses and watching people enjoy the last days of summer. kids are running around in their front yards. two girls are lying in bikinis on their roof to get a last minute tan. an elderly couple sits in lawn chairs at the top of their driveway. you smile at that, noticing their hands clasped over the armrest, and daydream fifty years ahead when you'll be in their shoes. you can't quite make out the face of your partner yet.
nate's phone buzzes from where it's resting in the cup holder. a minute later, yours buzzes where it's lying face down in your lap. neither of you check them as nate pulls into mckay's driveway and kills the engine. you grab your tote, filled to the brim with makeup and hair products and your outfit for the party that night, and follow nate to the door, which opens as if on cue.
"what's good, guys," mckay says with an easy smile. he bro hugs nate, who reaches the door first, then gives you a real hug. "how was hawaii?"
you don't hear nate's response, only the rapid footsteps descending the stairs.
"y/n!" bella shouts, skipping the last few steps in favor of jumping into your arms, nearly knocking you back out the door. you laugh as you catch her by the waist and hug her tightly.
"oh my god, bells," you say, before putting her back on the ground. she doesn't waste a second before grabbing your hand and tugging you toward the stairs.
"c'mon, knowing us, we have to start getting ready now," she says.
you leave the boys to hang out in the living room while bella leads you to her room, which you could find with your eyes closed. she peeks over her shoulder every few seconds as if to make sure you're still listening while her mouth moves at a million miles per minute. you can only beam back at her, more than happy to be reunited.
"you have to tell me everything."
xxx
people often said y/n would make friends with a rock if she could. she even called me a friend (though i'm not quite sure how that happened) and that was rare.
but she had a regular group of friends, all popular girls similar enough to her. the numbers of the group ebbed and flowed depending on the occasion, but there was always one constant: bella mckay.
y/n and bella met on the sidelines of their older brothers' flag football game thirteen years ago. since he started football, nate played on the same team as bella's older brother christopher mckay. while the boys sprinted after each other and the dads talked football and the moms exchanged neighborhood gossip, y/n and bella became instant best friends by picking flowers to put in each others' hair and kicking a soccer ball back and forth.
they were inseparable ever since. it was common knowledge that you couldn't tell either one of them anything unless you wanted the both of them to know. bella was the only person on planet earth who knew everything about y/n and vice versa. people say all good friends have boundaries, but y/n and bella didn't even know what that word meant.
y/n liked to think of the two of them as soulmates. maybe romantically in another life, but platonically in this one.
bella had been dating her boyfriend quentin since freshman year. they were the school's most athletically impressive couple: bella played soccer and lacrosse, and quentin was a triple sport athlete. not only were they athletic freaks of nature, but everyone knew they were perfect for each other. they were always seen hand in hand, they rarely fought, and they looked so damn good together, like their babies would pop out the womb with modeling contracts.
y/n had a front row seat for their entire relationship, and she couldn't have agreed more. but she also couldn't deny the subdued jealousy she felt watching them together, acting like newlyweds all the time. she wished she could have just a fraction of what they had.
xxx
"that's it, seriously?" bella asks, rifling through her closet and throwing potential options next to you on the bed.
"i'm telling you, bells, it was uneventful," you say, slightly cringing as she makes a mess of her room.
contrary to yours, her room had been cluttered since you were little. still, you've spent most of your childhood in this exact spot: sitting on her cream-colored bedspread with your feet brushing her plush purple rug.
"it was just two weeks of doing nothing on the beach, but i'm not complaining."
"what? two whole weeks there and you're telling me you found no cute guys in hawaii?" bella pauses to inspect an orange sparkly top, then adds: "or girls?"
"no, it's just...i wasn't really interested, y'know?" bella suddenly turns toward you with a hanger still in hand, her long braids flying from one shoulder to the other. she stares at you with a blank expression that makes you feel obligated to defend yourself. "like, it's just...a lot of work."
bella scoffs at that. "when has talking to people ever been 'work' for you?"
"i was on vacation. sometimes i just wanna be by myself, y'know?" you say, frantically switching excuses and ignoring the suspicious look that crosses bella's face. "no responsibilities, no worries, no—aah!" you shriek when bella throws the next piece of clothing at your head.
"that's bullshit. you couldn't spend twelve hours alone without losing your mind," bella says, showing no remorse after nearly blinding you with a wire hanger. you push the sheer tank top off your face and into the messy pile beside you.
"i can't spend twelve hours without you, you mean."
she disapprovingly clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "stop buttering me up," bella says, but a smile spreads across her lips. you smile back because you know that's her way of saying i feel the same way. "and stop bullshitting me." she steps toward you with narrowed eyes like she can see right through you, which she can. "tell me this isn't because of—"
"stop, don't even say it." you put a hand out to stop her. you turn your face away from her like if you don't look at her, maybe she'll forget you're even here.
her lips curl like she finds you amusing. "then tell me it's not."
her brown eyes bore into yours, daring you to say it. you consider it for a few seconds, but you can't. you can't lie to her outright.
"yeah, i knew it," bella says, abruptly turning back to her closet. you groan, falling back onto bella's bed and dramatically flailing your arms out.
"it's so bad, bells."
"i know! i've been telling you! i'm glad that you're self-aware now." she tosses another top into the pile and you wonder how she has this many clothes. "but this ends badly every time." she pauses again and glances at you over her shoulder with a cautionary look. "tell me you're not falling for—."
"i'm not, i swear!" you answer immediately, lifting your head to make eye contact so she knows you're being truthful. she nods once and seems to accept that.
but it's not like you even know what being in love feels like. you think bella forgets that sometimes. she forgets that it's not normal for people to find their soulmate in high school.
"it's just...i was thinking about her a lot, even when i was away," you say, staring up at the lavender painted ceiling.
"was she texting you?"
"no," you say indifferently. your eyes follow the artificial ivy vines layered across the ceiling, descending the wall just above the grey headboard of her bed. anything to distract you from the subject at hand. "no reason to, i guess."
"well, was she texting nate?" bella finally walks over and kneels next to you on the bed, ready to sort through her options.
"i don't think so. i'm pretty sure they broke up again right before we left."
your phone suddenly buzzes where it's face down beside you. this time you pick it up and read your notifications.
it's a passive aggressive hello??? text from maddy, which she always sends when you ignore her first text. you scroll up to her initial text, which you can only assume was the one she sent when you were in the car.
"tell me that's not her," bella says, noticing how intently you're staring at the screen. you can hear the hint of annoyance lingering in her voice. it's been there since you first told her about maddy.
"she's asking if i want a ride."
"tell her your sugar mommy's got you."
you look up at bella with a raised eyebrow and the beginnings of a smile. the sunlight from the window behind you illuminates her face. "you my sugar mommy?"
"what did you think this relationship was?"
you laugh and quickly type out a no thanks, with bella and hit send. she immediately replies with a simple kk see u there.
you toss your phone onto bella's rug because that feels somehow better than keeping it within arms reach.
"look, you need to forget about her tonight. i mean, her and nate are going to do their whole cat and mouse thing again and they'll be back together before school even starts."
you sigh defeatedly. "yeah, you're right."
"i know, i always am," bella says, patting your cheek affectionately like she would a child. "and," she starts, not so smoothly changing the topic, "quen told me that one of his friends was asking about you."
your head snaps toward bella and you catch the smugness all over her face. you wonder how long its been there without you noticing. you can't say you're surprised; she loves playing this matchmaker game with you. she doesn't even wait for you to ask, she goes full throttle into her usual spiel.
"his name is phoenix. he goes to st. mary's—"
"st. mary's? seriously?" you haven't found much luck with private school boys.
"wait, wait, let me finish," she says. "he's on quentin's club basketball team and he's, like, the best player. he's committed to play d1 at UT austin." you try to manage your reaction, but bella can tell you're impressed. "i know, right? hang on tight enough and maybe you'll be a WAG."
"okay, i'm seeing the appeal. you have his insta?"
bella seems to have it on speed dial and gives you her phone. from his limited posts, all of them involving basketball in some way, he looks like the definition of tall, dark, and handsome.
"i met him once and he was super cute and really sweet and tall. i think you'd like him. quentin's gonna bring him tonight and he wants to meet you." bella says, as you continue to inspect his profile. "that is, assuming you're still open to dating guys. have you thought about it?"
you hadn't really. your mind had become increasingly occupied with maddy. in fact, this whole time bella had been talking about this guy, your mind had been wandering to maddy, wondering what she was doing right now and what she' be wearing later. but your lips move before you can think straight.
"sure, why not?"
there were actually many reasons why not. including, but not limited to the fact that you've started to resent dating altogether. the outcome is always the same, so the entire process feels like a waste of time. still, you always agree to bella's propositions.
in the beginning, you liked to hope that whichever new guy she picked would be different, that he would be the one to finally sweep you off your feet. but now, you're not sure if you're hoping at all. you go through with these talking stages because they're habit, and it makes bella feel helpful, even if they never work out.
besides, anything is better than maddy.
xxx
y/n's dating history was rather uninteresting. at least that's how she viewed it.
she started talking to guys freshman year of high school, but it was always the same. she'd start talking to them, hanging out occasionally, and sometimes even have sex with them. but she'd gradually lose interest, and by week three or four, she'd end it completely, asking to just be friends with that disarming smile nobody could hate.
it went like that for years. bella would always tell her she was too picky, but y/n would simply shrug her shoulders and say "he wasn't the one."
but at a certain point, y/n began to question if she enjoyed this cyclical process at all. she knew it felt nice when someone liked her and sex was fun (sometimes), but she never felt much more than friendly affection for most of the guys she talked to. definitely not enough to ever be their official girlfriend.
then bella said it one day while they were both sharing y/n's bathroom mirror, caking on makeup for a party later that night as y/n explained another one of her failed talking stages: "would you ever try girls?"
the makeup brush paused on y/n's cheekbone. oddly enough, she had never thought about it before. she had just accepted the fact that she would date men and eventually marry one. women weren't even a possibility in her mind.
after bella said it, it was all y/n thought about. she started looking at the women around her differently: was she attracted to them this entire time and just hadn't realized it? she just thought she knew how to appreciate an attractive woman.
her thoughts came to a head when she went on a spring break trip with her family a couple weeks later. y/n was with her brothers, taking advantage of the unlimited pina coladas at the resort's outdoor bar, when she saw a girl skateboarding down the boardwalk.
without thinking, y/n's eyes followed her. her blue bikini top. the ties of her bikini bottoms peaking out from the low waistband of her baggy jeans. her long dark hair flying in the wind behind her. the beaded necklaces hanging in the valley of her breasts. the shiny tanned skin of her bare stomach. her catlike brown eyes. the dark gloss coating her pouty lips.
y/n felt heat spread in her chest when the skater girl looked over and made eye contact, like she could feel y/n's stare. skater girl smiled back at her in a knowing way that made y/n's stomach flutter. as fate would have it, y/n bumped into her on the beach later that night, and so began the best vacation of her life.
she'd find out that sex with girls was infinitely better. whatever this skater girl was doing with her tongue, y/n was seeing stars. and not even just that, but her lips were softer. her voice was sweeter. her eyes were kinder. she looked up at y/n like she was everything she could ever want.
the days were full of lounging on a beach towel next to skater girl, flirting loudly and telling stories about their regular lives. y/n learned how to skateboard (badly) and fell on purpose a few times so skater girl would catch her. y/n sneaked skater girl into her empty hotel suite at night to fuck and talk beneath the sheets for hours.
suddenly, she was learning what people meant when they spoke of love. of course, she wasn't actually in love. it was only a week before she was flying home, never to see skater girl again. but still, y/n started to understand how people could fall in love and why they wanted to.
xxx
maddy steps into mckay's house with the party in full swing and kat and bb on her heels.
"you better hit that thing out the window next time. i can feel your fucking vape juice all over me," maddy says without turning around, and she doesn't need to specify who she's talking to. she wipes her hands dramatically on her pink top.
"sorry," bb says, but she exhales more of it onto maddy's back. maddy doesn't stick around long enough to make an issue of it. she veers off toward the kitchen to get herself a drink, not caring if her two friends follow or not.
she spots various bottles of hard liquor crowding the kitchen counter, but reaches for a can of modelo out of a twelve pack. she's never been someone to drink too heavily. she likes to stay in control at all times. she steals an unused bendy straw from the island, pops it into her drink, and heads for the living room.
the first thought that pops in her head is nate. they broke up again right before he left for vacation, and tonight would be the first time maddy has seen him since their last fight. that meant tonight would be revenge.
but maddy can't say she's let down when she sees nate's little sister first.
you're sitting on the coffee table beside bella, opposite of some friends sitting on the couch. maddy falls back against the nearest wall and swirls her straw around in her can. she doesn't mind watching for a bit.
you lean back on one hand which supports your weight, and hold a red solo cup with the other. you speak more often than you drink from it, as always. your head is tilted to one side, letting your hair cascade cinematically down your shoulder. with your relaxed posture, your torso is elongated and maddy has full view of the cowl neck cheetah print top you're wearing and the ample cleavage it shows. your black mini skirt, on the other hand, rides up your thighs when you cross your long legs, your black heeled foot dangling just above the ground. maddy sees just enough skin to leave her wanting more.
as if you can feel her eyes, your head turns. through the many bodies crowding the living room, your eyes catch maddy's. suddenly the conversation at hand is just background noise. she's wearing a pink two piece that makes her look more approachable than she is. her straight black hair falls just below her shoulders. her eyelids are decorated with golden glitter.
bella's words ring in your ears: forget about her. but maddy's gaze is sinful and you're not willing to let it go. you don't look away as her eyelids droop and her eyes flicker quickly down your body, halting once at your chest, and again at your legs . her tongue wets her upper lip. she's been thinking vulgar thoughts, but now she wants you to be thinking them too. she's inviting you into her brain, letting you see all the dirty images playing before her eyes.
her eyes meet yours again, and there's an edge of something more playful. you understand it quicker than you should.
who's going to crack first? who's going to get up first and walk to the bathroom with a taunting sway in their hips, silently beckoning the other person to follow?
maddy wants it to be you because maddy likes to win, and in this fucked up game you guys are playing, that would be the equivalent. you, on the other hand, know you shouldn't be playing this game at all. you let yourself look, but actually doing anything might be a step too far. you're weak, but not that weak, so you tell yourself. you have to forget about her.
still you don't look away and your mind wanders. would one last time hurt—
"y/n!" bella's voice snaps you out of it. you whip your head toward her like you've been caught doing something wrong. but from the excited tone of her voice, you might actually be in the clear. "this is phoenix."
you look up, and there he is, standing to bella's right, with quentin's hand on his shoulder. bella was right, he is tall. quentin is already tall, and phoenix is a few inches taller. he might even be taller than nate. you're thankful bella convinced you to wear her tallest heels, even if they're half a size too small. once you finally look him in the eyes, you see that he's undeniably handsome too.
"hi! i'm y/n," you say, smiling up at him.
he immediately smiles back at the sight of you. "so i've heard."
some of your friends on the couch, taking the hint, get up and walk to the backyard.
"perfect! come sit!" bella says, grabbing quentin by the hand and tugging him toward her. he kisses bella on the cheek before sitting. phoenix sits down across from you and doesn't take his eyes off of you the entire time.
maddy watches the entire interaction, brows furrowing. who the fuck is that, she thinks, watching phoenix lean into you, and smile, and his eyes flicker lower like hers did a moment ago. something bubbles in her chest. something she's not used to.
then she sees a blur in the corner of her vision. it's nate in the kitchen doorway, talking to some blonde against the wall. when the blonde isn't looking, nate looks at maddy and smirks. he's clearly been waiting for her to notice. her blood starts to boil like it always does.
without a second thought, she moves on from one jacobs to the next.
xxx
you check the time on your phone. you've been talking for an hour, and you can't say you've had a bad time. phoenix is kind and funny and gentlemanly and definitely a head above most of the guys you've talked to (figuratively and literally). he fits in well with your already established trio of bella and quentin. you can tell bella thinks the same because she's been beaming even more than you.
bella's finishes telling a story, one you and quentin have heard before but don't mind hearing again because of how excited she is to tell it, when quentin gets distracted.
"what's going on out there?" he asks, looking toward the backyard.
the four of you turn and notice the crowd that's gathering outside. most of them have their phones out, filming something you can't see. you see nate standing among them. one of the guys from the baseball team walks in from outside laughing and quentin asks him the same thing.
"dude, maddy perez is like, fully fucking some guy in the pool," he says, still laughing.
"what?" you and bella say in unison. you exchange a look with her, mostly of shock, but you find a little sympathy in your best friend's eyes.
"go see for yourself," the guy says before taking a swig of his beer.
that's the last thing you want to do, actually. your chest is tightening at the thought of it, at the thought of watching her fuck another guy in front of your entire school. you know you shouldn't bee feeling this way—you were having fun moments ago—but now you can't breathe. it feels like all the oxygen has been sucked out of the room and you can't do anything about it.
all you want to do is leave now. you want to run upstairs and shove your face so far into bella's pillows that you forget this stupid, paralyzing feeling. instead you place your feet steadily on the ground and anchor yourself there. you convince yourself that running away would only make you look guilty of something.
then nate bursts through the door, forcefully elbowing the baseball guy in the back as he pushes through the crowd, causing him to spill beer on himself. anyone with eyes can tell that nate is beyond pissed. the four of you watch as he storms into the kitchen. with one hard swing of his arm, he clears the kitchen island. glass bottles shatter loudly on the floor and liquid goes flying. the surrounding people jump back and gasp.
nate's yelling now, but you try your best to tune it out as you've done for years. the sound of his furious voice only amplifies what you're already feeling.
leave. i want to leave.
it must be written all over your face because, the second bella looks back at you, she understands. she raises her eyebrows, silently asking you if you're okay. you feel frozen in place, unable to tell her what she wants to hear. that's enough for bella to make up her mind for the both of you. she reaches for your hand and gives it a comforting squeeze.
"i think we're gonna go get some air," she says, standing up and pulling you with her, "but it was so nice seeing you again, phoenix!" bella sounds cheerful, compensating for your lack thereof.
"yeah," he says before turning toward you, as he's done the entire night. "i'll see you soon?" he asks hopefully.
you plaster on the best smile you can muster. "yeah, i'll see you soon," you say, your voice a little smaller than before.
he doesn't notice and smiles wide. he outstretches his arm and you give him a comfortable side hug while bella kisses her boyfriend goodbye. then bella's dragging you toward the stairs, careful to avoid the kitchen, and up to her room where you'll be spending the night.
you weave in between people, some of whom you know and say 'hi' to, but your body is moving on autopilot. all you can think about is the suffocating feeling remaining in your chest. you wish you could say you don't know where this feeling is coming from, but you know exactly why. you just don't want to admit it. you don't want to admit that you're letting her ruin your night, that she's the one making you feel like there's no air in your lungs, because bella is right: whatever is going on between you and maddy, it ends badly every time.
adopted by the jacobs family, you built your life around becoming one of them. becoming the best of them. straight A student. cheer captain. beloved by all. your image is spotless. besides the fact that you're fucking your older brother's girlfriend.
maddy perez threatens to unravel all the work you've done as you fall deeper and deeper into a relationship with her that ceases to exist. at the end of the day, she will always choose nate. you know that, but you just can't seem to let her go, because who knows. maybe just once, she might choose you too.
IMPORTANT:
everything in italics is rue's narration (sorry for so much use of y/n)
reader is intended to be poc and has an extensive backstory but anyone can read
comfort me ★ g!p sophia laforteza x 7th member fem!reader
sophia is so good at comforting you. maybe a little too good.
word count: 1.7k
warnings: SMUT - p in v, riding, grinding/dry humping, creampie, crying
a/n: a bit rushed but i just wanted to get it done
every day felt more overwhelming than the last. between rehearsals, performances, and interviews, it often felt like you had no time to breathe. but not when you were with sophia.
the two of you hadn't always been this close. but recently, every time life was wearing you down, sophia was there for you. after all, she was your leader, so it made sense that she would be eager to comfort you. it was like she had a sixth sense and could always tell when you weren't feeling yourself.
"c'mere," she'd say, opening up her arms from where she was lying on her bed. without missing a beat, you'd crawl right into her, resting your head on her shoulder. her hands would fall to your back and hug you to her chest.
but today, when she looked up at you asking "what's wrong, mahal?" with her brows furrowed in the sweetest concern, it was like a dam broke. suddenly tears were streaming down your cheeks and all the stress and anxiety you had been feeling for the past few weeks came pouring out.
"baby," she coos as you silently walk over and curl yourself against her. your head falls to her shoulder like usual, your face pressed into her neck.
"m'sorry," you murmur, just loud enough for her to hear.
"you don't have anything to be sorry about," she says, arms wrapping around your body.
you were just starting to notice how her methods of comforting you had changed. it originally started with her hand between your shoulder blades, holding you close like any good friend would. now her hand slides beneath your shirt, barely above the waistband of your shorts, and rubs slow, soothing circles. her other hand finds your side, gently running her finger nails up your bare skin from your hip to your ribcage. a shiver runs down your spine at the sensation.
you tried to explain it to yourself as sophia getting more comfortable with you. but for the past few weeks, every time you found yourself with sophia like this, you could feel your skin grow hot and your body start to twitch like it wanted something more.
with your face pressed into her neck, your tears fall onto sophia's skin. she feels the wet sensation and hums. she grabs your waist and pulls you tighter against her.
"you're okay, now," she says in that soft voice of hers that makes you believe her. she turns her head so you feel her lips ghost over your temple.
you lay there with her for a little while, your tears starting to slow as a wholly different feeling starts to replace the stress. it's unbearable, like it's eating you from the inside out. without a second thought, you throw one leg over sophia's so you go from lying beside her to lying on top of her. you feel her grip tighten on your waist, but she doesn't stop holding you.
you're not thinking at all when you shift your hips slightly. her thigh brushes in between your legs just enough to make you exhale. sophia doesn't move or say anything, so you assume she doesn't notice.
but when you chase that nice feeling and half-roll your hips against her thigh, she definitely feels it. she says your name like a warning. like she wasn't the one sneaking her hands lower and lower every time she touched you.
you don't reply. you shove your face deeper into sophia's neck, so deep that your lips are pressing against her skin. you roll your hips against her thigh once more and it feels better than any sensation you've ever felt before. every awful thought is erased from your brain in an instant.
"what...what're you doing?" sophia asks, like she knows the answer but doesn't want to admit it to herself.
"sophi," you whisper into her neck while grinding your hips into her again. and again. and again.
"fuck, y/n, we can't do this," she says. but she doesn't sound like the strong, confident leader you're used to. her voice shakes and her hands tremble where they're still holding you.
you don't pay her words any mind. you're fully rolling your hips into her, subtle whimpers escaping your lips.
"oh my god," you hear her whisper, more to herself than you. she sounds wrecked. her head sinks deeper into the pillow and, you're not sure if she does it on purpose, but her thigh slightly presses up against you. she grits her teeth. she can feel herself growing hard in her shorts.
"f-feels so good," you mumble into her skin, your hips finding a rhythm against her.
she curses again under her breath. you can practically see the internal battle she's fighting. her fingers press more firmly against your skin like she's losing.
you pull your head barely out of her neck, just enough to look up at her. her gaze shifts from your body to your tear-stricken face. you feel her arms squeeze you tighter.
"please help me," you whisper, eyes wide and glossy.
she swallows and something inside her breaks. that's it. she can't be strong anymore.
"take these off," she says. her voice is still sweet, but her fingers glide under your shorts and panties, hooking in the waistband of both.
you help her by lifting your hips, letting her drag them down your thighs. she nearly groans when she sees how wet the inside of your panties is, but holds herself back. she doesn't want to scare you with how badly she's been wanting this.
you sit up to help her get them all the way off of you. it's then that you notice the huge bulge in her shorts. feeling your eyes, sophia shifts her hips. she feels a little embarrassed by how quickly she got all worked up over you crying and grinding on her.
but her shame fades away when you move to fully straddle her and press your bare pussy over her clothed bulge.
"fuckkk," she groans, hips bucking up into you. her hands grab hard at your hips as you grind against where she needs you most. "oh my god."
she looks down and sees the wet spot forming on her shorts, a mix of your slick and her precum. she's not gonna last long if you keep going.
"shit, help me," she says, reaching for the waistband of her shorts and pulling them down. you help her with both hands, and her cock springs free against her stomach.
you just stare for a second. then you take a deep breath. this is really happening.
"wanna feel it," you say. you grab her with one hand and brace the other on her stomach. you run your hand up and down her length once, noticing how she stiffens beneath you. you can feel that she's still holding herself back. "want it inside me."
she groans loud and she bucks into your hand.
"baby, you can't say shit like that," she practically whines.
"why?" you ask, already rising on your knees and lining her up with your entrance.
"you know why—ohhhh," her train of thought derails when you sit on her cock.
you moan as you take all of her in one long push. you can feel the restraint melting off of her as she stares at where you two meet with something more primal in her eyes.
"you feel so good, sophi," you say as you lift yourself off her and fall back down with another moan.
you ride her just like that, slow and controlled until she's putty beneath you. her hands stay fastened to your hips and the entire time she looks up at you like you're a piece of heaven. she moans your name every time she feels your walls clench around her. it's not long before she feels herself teetering on the edge.
"fuck, baby, i'm gonna come. lemme pull-"
you silence her by leaning forward and pressing your lips hard against hers. she kisses you like she's trying to eat you alive, and you let her. you lean down and kiss her jaw, still sitting on her cock.
"come in me, soph," you whisper, lips pressed against her skin.
"no, i-"
"please."
she freezes for a moment. why do you have to sound so desperate? before she even knows what she's doing, her hands slide from your hips to your ass.
"shit," she murmurs, the last morsel of her morality before she uses her leverage to thrust her hips up into you. a broken, surprised whimper falls from your lips and onto her skin.
then she pulls back as much as she can and thrusts back up into you again, over and over, each one harder than the last. the sound of skin slapping fills the room as she lets herself give into every ugly desire she's had since the first time you came crawling into her arms. she can hear you whining into the spot right under her ear as she abuses your cunt.
"'m so close, fuck," she groans. "m' gonna fill you up."
"please-please-please," you whine, so needy for her.
two more thrusts and she does. her hands clamp down hard on your ass and keep you fully seated on her. she moans your name so loud as you feel warmth flood your insides in long spurts. you gasp at the feeling, your walls instinctively clenching around her and making her climax even more intense.
"holy shit," she sighs once she's come down. "should've done that earlier."
you lift your head with a smile. her hand finds the back of your head and presses your lips back down onto hers. while she's lost in the kiss, you lift your hips up and then back down again on her sensitive cock. she throws her head back in a high-pitched whine. you have to bite your lip to hold back your grin.
lesson learned ★ manager maddy perez x influencer fem!reader
maddy leaves you unsupervised at a party and quickly realizes why she can't do that anymore
part 2 of famous
word count: 2.2k (holy moly)
warnings: SMUT - dubcon?, slutshaming, exhibitionism (on camera), mean!maddy, bi!reader
a/n: this is unintentionally similar to a fic by @bannerue (who also writes great maddy fics!!) but i wrote most of this before i read theirs so this is not me copying, we're just on the same wavelength i guess lol
usually maddy kept a close eye on you at these influencer parties, mainly because you weren't there to get drunk and have fun like everyone else. you were there to do your job: film as much content as possible. maddy drilled this into you, repeating it before every single one of these functions. you'd been to at least twenty by now, so this time around, maddy assumed you could handle yourself while she networked on your behalf.
she descend the marble stairs in some famous tiktoker's mansion, eyes scanning the packed and noisy room for you. she'd left you down here an hour ago with a group of influencers who cared less about you and more about your high follower count and pretty face; a recipe for monetary success.
but when her eyes finally found you in the far corner of the room, she realized she was wrong to assume you'd adhere to her rules. you technically were doing your job as several bystanders were using their phones to record you, but you weren't making dance tiktoks or lip syncing the words to some viral song. instead, you were fully making out with a random tiktoker against the wall.
maddy watched for a few seconds, waiting for you to pull away and end the bit. it wasn't totally unusual for you to film clickbait moments like these which were sure to go viral. but you never pulled away. you were actually enjoying this and ignoring the nosy people who filmed and shouted around you.
maddy watched as you thread your hands through his floppy bleached blond hair and pulled him closer. then she noticed his hands gripping your hips and sliding even lower. maddy's hand gripped the banister tighter, holding herself back from stomping across the room and pulling him off of you. but she could never do that. she was your manager, not your girlfriend.
she had to keep reminding herself of that fact, especially when you wound up tangled in her sheets more and more often, her camera documenting everything. but a crack was forming in her previously solid understanding of your relationship. all the time she had spent compartmentalizing her life into personal and professional boxes was going to waste. she felt everything slowly bleeding into one.
finally, you pulled away from him with a genuine smile spreading across your lips—not the fake ones reserved for online which maddy could tell apart—and your head leaning back against the wall. he reached up and pet your cheek with his fingers. maddy couldn't watch anymore of this.
she made a beeline for you, but still maintained enough grace in each stride to seem composed and unaffected as always. she lightly pushed aside anyone in her way until she was by your side. her hand tugged at your wrist before you saw her. she dug her acrylic nails into your skin, redirecting all the irritation she hid on her face.
"we're leaving," was all she said. to everyone in proximity, she sounded uninterested. but when you looked at her, your smile faltered. her expression was tighter than normal, and her eyes seemed to stare right through you. she'd been angry with you before, but you had never quite seen this look on her face. you knew better than to protest as she guided you away.
the uber ride back to her place was silent besides the clicking of the turn signal. you kept sneaking glances toward her, trying to gauge if she had calmed down, but she kept her eyes trained out the window. her nails tapped steadily against her thigh like the ticking of a timebomb. you weren't stupid enough to say anything when she was in this state.
you followed her inside her house like cattle going to slaughter and sealed your fate by shutting the door behind you. you bent down just inside the doorway, beginning to undo the straps of your heels and mentally preparing for your scolding.
"keep them on," maddy said, her back still to you. she pointed to her right, down the hallway where her bedroom was. "go sit. take off your clothes."
you stood upright, a shiver running down your spine. you hesitated only for a moment before walking toward her room on shaky legs.
your hands trembled as you plucked the straps of your mini dress off your shoulders and shimmied it down your thighs, trying not to trip over your stilettos. left in just a pair of thin lace panties, you awkwardly sat on the edge of her bed, arms tight to your sides and hands nervously grasping onto your thighs.
you could only imagine what she was going to do to you. it would definitely be humiliating. but other than that, the possibilities were endless.
it felt like forever you were sitting there alone. she was probably doing this on purpose, letting the anticipation build, because that was so maddy. your thumb rubbed anxiously against your thigh. your nipples hardened as the cold air from the ac brushed over your exposed skin.
then she was in the doorway. she stands there for a second, manicured hand holding the edge of the doorframe as she examines all of you. she revels in how pretty and vulnerable you look , waiting all naked and afraid just for her. she steps forward and you notice the long silk scarf in her hand.
"you have fun tonight?" she asks in her too velvety voice. she quirks her head to the side like she's already mocking you.
and it's working considering how dry your mouth grows as you weigh your options. what's the right answer? there probably isn't one.
"i'm sorry, maddy," you say, looking up at her through thick lashes as she steps closer. "i wouldn't have done it if i knew-"
"what? that i'd catch you?" her fingers grab your chin and tilt your head up so you're face to face.
that was part of it, but also, you didn't think it would be that big of a deal. it wasn't like you had never kissed anyone or done anything sexual at these parties, and maddy knew that. but that was before she laid you down and finger fucked you on camera for the first time. apparently things had changed since then.
"but you liked it, didn't you? liked having a little attention, hmm?" she says. she pouts her lips like she feels sorry for you.
"no, i-i-" you try to recover, pleading with your eyes and batting your lashes at her. a knowing smile comes across her face as you struggle to give her a straight answer.
"don't worry, baby." you can feel yourself throb between your legs when she calls you that. "i'll give it to you now."
she uses her grip on your face to shove you backwards, hard. you gasp as your back hits the mattress with a soft thump. you don't take your eyes off of her and she appears satisfied with that.
"get on all fours."
you exhale and, knowing maddy is not one to play games, obey. you flip yourself over and climb onto your hands and knees so your ass is pushed back toward her. you're preparing for her palm to crack against your ass at any moment, but instead she surprised you.
she leans over your back, grabbing your wrists and tearing them off the mattress. your upper half immediately folds and you face plant into the comforter with a shriek. she uses one hand to pin your wrists behind your back just above the low waistband of your panties.
you hear her murmur a "pathetic" before snaking the scarf around your wrists. she starts tying a double knot and you whine when she tightens it enough to cut off your circulation. there's no getting out of this one.
you try to lift your face out of the mattress to get a look at your situation, but as soon at you move, maddy's hand is on the back of your head, pushing you deeper into the mattress.
"bad girls don't get to move. they take what they're given."
once you stop resisting, she lets go of you and you can hear her take a step back. then you hear the shutter of her phone camera.
"maddy," you whine. "please."
you don't even know what you're asking for and she doesn't answer. you hear her footsteps coming around the bed, then a drawer opening and closing, and more footsteps coming toward you.
"spread your legs," she says from behind you. you struggle to do so without using the leverage of your hands. tiny exasperated noises escape your lips. "come on, you did it so easy at the party, didn't you?"
she finally helps you, one hand landing on the inside of your thigh to push your legs wider. she hums in satisfaction seeing you spread out for her.
"good girl," she drawls. your hips automatically twitch and she laughs under her breath. she already knows how much you fiend for her praise, so you know she'll use it against you.
suddenly, you hear the click of a switch. you gasp at the unmistakable sound of a wand vibrator.
"maddy," you whine one last time into the mattress, the inside of your panties growing damper with anticipation.
"just take it," she says, right before pressing the wand in between your legs.
you instantly moan and your hips buck forward into the mattress.
"ohhh, you've been waiting for this, huh?" she teases.
you absentmindedly nod into the sheets as she applies more pressure over your panties.
"yeah, you're soaking through your panties aren't you? did he do this to you?" you can hear the smile on her face.
"mmm fuck—no," you moan, voice muffled by the sheets as pleasure already starts to build. "you did."
"hmm, looks like my good girl is learning," she says before pressing the wand harder right over your clit.
you whine, your back arching helplessly and your sharp nails digging into your own palms where they're still tied behind your back.
what you don't know is that, while one hand keeps the vibrator flush against you, her other hand holds her phone, steadily videotaping you.
"maybe you're not as much of a slut as i thought you were."
you shake your head, hips still twitching.
"no, 'm not a slut," you whine, your hips now greedily pushing back for more.
"really? could've fooled me," she says. she removes the toy just for a second and focuses the lens on the big darker spot on your panties. then she pulls the fabric to the side to reveal your glistening cunt. "look at how wet you are."
before she presses the wand to your pussy again, she flicks a switch on the toy and turns it up a notch.
"oh my god," you nearly scream, when she presses it hard against your bare clit.
the sensation is so much more intense. your hips are now wildly bucking into the mattress, and your arms are shaking behind you. your whole body is squirming like you're trying to get away and feel more of it at the same time. the squelches of the toy meeting your wetness fills the room along with your loud moans which are growing in pitch. maddy knows that sound well.
"you gonna come already, slut? don't you fucking dare," she says, but doesn't make it any easier as she doesn't move the toy away.
"maddy, please!"
"you haven't been that good yet. you still need to learn how to behave," she chastises you. but it doesn't matter what she says, you can't hold your body back from what it wants.
"oh my god, i'm gonna-"
she immediately switches the toy off and your climax dies in an instant. you whine loudly at the loss, shame taking a backseat to pleasure.
"no. bad girls don't get to come. they learn to hold it."
"no, please-" you plead, helplessly shaking your arms in the restraint and arching your back for her.
"i wouldn't have to do this if you just listened to me in the first place," she says, nudging the powered off toy against your entrance.
"i'll listen," you desperately agree, turning your head so your cheek presses into the comforter and you can see her over your shoulder, still in her dress kneeling behind you.
"yeah?" she asks, sliding the toy against your clit as positive encouragement. a satisfied smile plays on her lips.
"i'm sorry. i'll listen next time, i promise."
she hums, pretending to think it over and torturing you a little longer.
"okay," she casually says before switching the toy back on the lowest setting. it's not much, but your eyes squeeze shut as you moan.
she chuckles, ending the video and placing her phone face down beside her. she uses her free hand to run her nails along your ass. the rest of the night is for her eyes only.
lesson learned ★ manager maddy perez x influencer fem!reader
maddy leaves you unsupervised at a party and quickly realizes why she can't do that anymore
part 2 of famous
word count: 2.2k (holy moly)
warnings: SMUT - dubcon?, slutshaming, exhibitionism (on camera), praise kink, mean!maddy, bi!reader
a/n: this is unintentionally similar to a fic by @bannerue (who also writes great maddy fics!!) but i wrote most of this before i read theirs so this is not me copying, we're just on the same wavelength i guess lol
usually maddy kept a close eye on you at these influencer parties, mainly because you weren't there to get drunk and have fun like everyone else. you were there to do your job: film as much content as possible. maddy drilled this into you, repeating it before every single one of these functions. you'd been to at least twenty by now, so this time around, maddy assumed you could handle yourself while she networked on your behalf.
she descend the marble stairs in some famous tiktoker's mansion, eyes scanning the packed and noisy room for you. she'd left you down here an hour ago with a group of influencers who cared less about you and more about your high follower count and pretty face; a recipe for monetary success.
but when her eyes finally found you in the far corner of the room, she realized she was wrong to assume you'd adhere to her rules. you technically were doing your job as several bystanders were using their phones to record you, but you weren't making dance tiktoks or lip syncing the words to some viral song. instead, you were fully making out with a random tiktoker against the wall.
maddy watched for a few seconds, waiting for you to pull away and end the bit. it wasn't totally unusual for you to film clickbait moments like these which were sure to go viral. but you never pulled away. you were actually enjoying this and ignoring the nosy people who filmed and shouted around you.
maddy watched as you thread your hands through his floppy bleached blond hair and pulled him closer. then she noticed his hands gripping your hips and sliding even lower. maddy's hand gripped the banister tighter, holding herself back from stomping across the room and pulling him off of you. but she could never do that. she was your manager, not your girlfriend.
she had to keep reminding herself of that fact, especially when you wound up tangled in her sheets more and more often, her camera documenting everything. but a crack was forming in her previously solid understanding of your relationship. all the time she had spent compartmentalizing her life into personal and professional boxes was going to waste. she felt everything slowly bleeding into one.
finally, you pulled away from him with a genuine smile spreading across your lips—not the fake ones reserved for online which maddy could tell apart—and your head leaning back against the wall. he reached up and pet your cheek with his fingers. maddy couldn't watch anymore of this.
she made a beeline for you, but still maintained enough grace in each stride to seem composed and unaffected as always. she lightly pushed aside anyone in her way until she was by your side. her hand tugged at your wrist before you saw her. she dug her acrylic nails into your skin, redirecting all the irritation she hid on her face.
"we're leaving," was all she said. to everyone in proximity, she sounded uninterested. but when you looked at her, your smile faltered. her expression was tighter than normal, and her eyes seemed to stare right through you. she'd been angry with you before, but you had never quite seen this look on her face. you knew better than to protest as she guided you away.
the uber ride back to her place was silent besides the clicking of the turn signal. you kept sneaking glances toward her, trying to gauge if she had calmed down, but she kept her eyes trained out the window. her nails tapped steadily against her thigh like the ticking of a timebomb. you weren't stupid enough to say anything when she was in this state.
you followed her inside her house like cattle going to slaughter and sealed your fate by shutting the door behind you. you bent down just inside the doorway, beginning to undo the straps of your heels and mentally preparing for your scolding.
"keep them on," maddy said, her back still to you. she pointed to her right, down the hallway where her bedroom was. "go sit. take off your clothes."
you stood upright, a shiver running down your spine. you hesitated only for a moment before walking toward her room on shaky legs.
your hands trembled as you plucked the straps of your mini dress off your shoulders and shimmied it down your thighs, trying not to trip over your stilettos. left in just a pair of thin lace panties, you awkwardly sat on the edge of her bed, arms tight to your sides and hands nervously grasping onto your thighs.
you could only imagine what she was going to do to you. it would definitely be humiliating. but other than that, the possibilities were endless.
it felt like forever you were sitting there alone. she was probably doing this on purpose, letting the anticipation build, because that was so maddy. your thumb rubbed anxiously against your thigh. your nipples hardened as the cold air from the ac brushed over your exposed skin.
then she was in the doorway. she stands there for a second, manicured hand holding the edge of the doorframe as she examines all of you. she revels in how pretty and vulnerable you look , waiting all naked and afraid just for her. she steps forward and you notice the long silk scarf in her hand.
"you have fun tonight?" she asks in her too velvety voice. she quirks her head to the side like she's already mocking you.
and it's working considering how dry your mouth grows as you weigh your options. what's the right answer? there probably isn't one.
"i'm sorry, maddy," you say, looking up at her through thick lashes as she steps closer. "i wouldn't have done it if i knew-"
"what? that i'd catch you?" her fingers grab your chin and tilt your head up so you're face to face.
that was part of it, but also, you didn't think it would be that big of a deal. it wasn't like you had never kissed anyone or done anything sexual at these parties, and maddy knew that. but that was before she laid you down and finger fucked you on camera for the first time. apparently things had changed since then.
"but you liked it, didn't you? liked having a little attention, hmm?" she says. she pouts her lips like she feels sorry for you.
"no, i-i-" you try to recover, pleading with your eyes and batting your lashes at her. a knowing smile comes across her face as you struggle to give her a straight answer.
"don't worry, baby." you can feel yourself throb between your legs when she calls you that. "i'll give it to you now."
she uses her grip on your face to shove you backwards, hard. you gasp as your back hits the mattress with a soft thump. you don't take your eyes off of her and she appears satisfied with that.
"get on all fours."
you exhale and, knowing maddy is not one to play games, obey. you flip yourself over and climb onto your hands and knees so your ass is pushed back toward her. you're preparing for her palm to crack against your ass at any moment, but instead she surprised you.
she leans over your back, grabbing your wrists and tearing them off the mattress. your upper half immediately folds and you face plant into the comforter with a shriek. she uses one hand to pin your wrists behind your back just above the low waistband of your panties.
you hear her murmur a "pathetic" before snaking the scarf around your wrists. she starts tying a double knot and you whine when she tightens it enough to cut off your circulation. there's no getting out of this one.
you try to lift your face out of the mattress to get a look at your situation, but as soon at you move, maddy's hand is on the back of your head, pushing you deeper into the mattress.
"bad girls don't get to move. they take what they're given."
once you stop resisting, she lets go of you and you can hear her take a step back. then you hear the shutter of her phone camera.
"maddy," you whine. "please."
you don't even know what you're asking for and she doesn't answer. you hear her footsteps coming around the bed, then a drawer opening and closing, and more footsteps coming toward you.
"spread your legs," she says from behind you. you struggle to do so without using the leverage of your hands. tiny exasperated noises escape your lips. "come on, you did it so easy at the party, didn't you?"
she finally helps you, one hand landing on the inside of your thigh to push your legs wider. she hums in satisfaction seeing you spread out for her.
"good girl," she drawls. your hips automatically twitch and she laughs under her breath. she already knows how much you fiend for her praise, so you know she'll use it against you.
suddenly, you hear the click of a switch. you gasp at the unmistakable sound of a wand vibrator.
"maddy," you whine one last time into the mattress, the inside of your panties growing damper with anticipation.
"just take it," she says, right before pressing the wand in between your legs.
you instantly moan and your hips buck forward into the mattress.
"ohhh, you've been waiting for this, huh?" she teases.
you absentmindedly nod into the sheets as she applies more pressure over your panties.
"yeah, you're soaking through your panties aren't you? did he do this to you?" you can hear the smile on her face.
"mmm fuck—no," you moan, voice muffled by the sheets as pleasure already starts to build. "you did."
"hmm, looks like my good girl is learning," she says before pressing the wand harder right over your clit.
you whine, your back arching helplessly and your sharp nails digging into your own palms where they're still tied behind your back.
what you don't know is that, while one hand keeps the vibrator flush against you, her other hand holds her phone, steadily videotaping you.
"maybe you're not as much of a slut as i thought you were."
you shake your head, hips still twitching.
"no, 'm not a slut," you whine, your hips now greedily pushing back for more.
"really? could've fooled me," she says. she removes the toy just for a second and focuses the lens on the big darker spot on your panties. then she pulls the fabric to the side to reveal your glistening cunt. "look at how wet you are."
before she presses the wand to your pussy again, she flicks a switch on the toy and turns it up a notch.
"oh my god," you nearly scream, when she presses it hard against your bare clit.
the sensation is so much more intense. your hips are now wildly bucking into the mattress, and your arms are shaking behind you. your whole body is squirming like you're trying to get away and feel more of it at the same time. the squelches of the toy meeting your wetness fills the room along with your loud moans which are growing in pitch. maddy knows that sound well.
"you gonna come already, slut? don't you fucking dare," she says, but doesn't make it any easier as she doesn't move the toy away.
"maddy, please!"
"you haven't been that good yet. you still need to learn how to behave," she chastises you. but it doesn't matter what she says, you can't hold your body back from what it wants.
"oh my god, i'm gonna-"
she immediately switches the toy off and your climax dies in an instant. you whine loudly at the loss, shame taking a backseat to pleasure.
"no. bad girls don't get to come. they learn to hold it."
"no, please-" you plead, helplessly shaking your arms in the restraint and arching your back for her.
"i wouldn't have to do this if you just listened to me in the first place," she says, nudging the powered off toy against your entrance.
"i'll listen," you desperately agree, turning your head so your cheek presses into the comforter and you can see her over your shoulder, still in her dress kneeling behind you.
"yeah?" she asks, sliding the toy against your clit as positive encouragement. a satisfied smile plays on her lips.
"i'm sorry. i'll listen next time, i promise."
she hums, pretending to think it over and torturing you a little longer.
"okay," she casually says before switching the toy back on the lowest setting. it's not much, but your eyes squeeze shut as you moan.
she chuckles, ending the video and placing her phone face down beside her. she uses her free hand to run her nails along your ass. the rest of the night is for her eyes only.
party 4 u ★ rue bennett x fem!reader, maddy perez x fem!reader
winter formal was not the night you were hoping for...
word count: 900
warnings: pure angst, based on last ep of s1
a/n: this is a snapshot of a larger maddy fic i've been writing in my head but might not actually get written lol
stupid. stupid. stupid.
that's all you think as you stumble down the dark neighborhood street, heels clicking against the pavement in an uneven rhythm. you no longer care to pull down the hem of your winter formal dress every time it rides up your thighs or even check your phone when it lights up with texts from worried friends. you curse under your breath; all the time you had spent picking out the perfect dress—the one that fit your body perfectly and made your skin glow—wasted.
you felt stupid thinking back to that version of you. she still existed only a couple hours ago, her chest filled with anticipation and stomach full of butterflies. but she should have known better. you should have known that none of it would matter anyway.
because, by the end of the night, maddy was back in nate's arms, slow dancing like nothing had ever happened. like every time they broke up she hadn't run to you. like you hadn't dropped everything to drive across town and hold her while cried. like she never asked you what girls tasted like and knelt between your legs to find out. she didn't spare one thought for you as she clutched onto nate, her head against his chest as they slow danced for the whole school to see that their never-ending cycle was inevitably repeating itself.
you should have known better than to have hope. this was how it always went. not even your sexiest dress and perfect makeup could change that. maddy would choose nate in every lifetime, never you.
you just couldn't bear to watch it anymore. you trudged home without saying goodbye to any of your friends, skipping the afterparties in favor of a private pity party.
your tears glisten in the dim streetlights, gliding down your painted cheeks and taking your mascara with it. you don't even bother to wipe them away anymore. there's no one here to see you at your lowest anyway.
as much as you want to forget her altogether, flashes of maddy replay in your mind. you wish she thought of you half as much as you thought of her. too lost in your own head, you take a wrong step and hear a cracking noise under your foot. you're thrown off balance, and you catch yourself just before you fall.
you look down and notice your four inch heel completely snapped off the bottom of your shoe, laying lifeless in the street. that's the straw that breaks the camel's back as all the rage rising within you bubbles over the surface. you angrily reach down and roughly snatch the remainder of the heel off your foot.
"so fucking stupid!" you scream, launching the heel with all your strength across the street where it crashes into a front lawn. you've been waiting so long to get this frustration out. you grunt as you rip the other heel off your foot, not without a little struggle, and throw it even harder into the darkness. "fuck," you say to yourself, breathing heavy now.
new angry tears prick at your eyes, threatening to spill over. you're ready to let them go. it's not like anyone is here to judge you for your outburst.
"y/n?"
you freeze immediately. fuck.
you turn around, brushing your tousled hair over your shoulder like it might make you look less disheveled, and find rue staring back at you in the middle of the empty intersection. your anxiety dies when you notice she looks just as awful as you, if not worse.
you remember her leaving with jules early on in the night, back when you still thought maddy might look at you the way you wanted, but rue was alone now. you're close enough to see tears and glitter streaking down her face and her lips pouted like she might break into a new fit of tears at any second. you wonder what happened to her and, from the similarities of your appearances, guess it might be something along the lines of what happened to you.
something comes over you in that moment that you don't quite understand. it feels like a sense of solidarity. rue is a mirror, reflecting yourself back at you and making your realize you're not as different as you previously thought. whatever it is, it momentarily overcomes your anger and suddenly you're walking toward her.
you don't say anything, you just wrap your arms around her and bury your face in her shoulder. she doesn't hesitate to hug you back, her embrace noticeably tighter than any time she's hugged you before, like she needs it more than you do. you instantly burst into tears, your ribs shaking with loud sobs only muffled by rue's blazer. you almost go limp, letting rue hold you together as you succumb to every horrible feeling inhabiting your body and swirling in your mind.
"it's okay, it's okay," rue mumbles, her own voice quivering like she's crying herself. her hand finds the back of your head, keeping you tight against her shoulder and letting you know that she'll hold you for as long as you both need.
you're not exactly sure if rue knows what's going on. you know she's observant, and you were never too subtle when it came to maddy, so maybe she understands you. either way, by holding you tight and letting you unravel in her arms, she gives you the one feeling maddy couldn't: to feel seen.
