This is about unhealthy behavior, mistakes, misunderstanding, learning, growing, changing, and healing. It’s about Gorillaz, but it’s also a bit more than that. And it’s kinda personal for me. So, that being said, let me go into a bit of a tirade, but more of a vent to let out these feelings I’ve kept bottled up.
I’m so tired. I’m so, so tired of outing people, of villainizing people, of “cancelling” people because of past mistakes, of our over-critical state online right now. Yes, there are some people who are terrible and they deserve to be held accountable. Some people are worthy of these things, but not everyone.
I’m pertaining this to Murdoc, but it can apply to others as well, including myself.
No one is perfect. No one. Everyone has flaws, everyone makes mistakes, everyone has done something bad. It’s part of life, it’s part of learning and growing as a person. People need to make mistakes and learn from them. Yes, we do bad things, sometimes horrible things, but we need to acknowledge they’re bad, to know it’s not right, to try and not repeat them, to learn how to be better, and to grow from those mistakes.
Yes, the past is not something you can just forgive and forget. You did something bad, something awful, but you need to know it’s bad and try to be better. It’s how we grow. You become a better person.
I hate how people pull out “receipts” of people’s horrid pasts. Yes, a lot of the time the people are still awful and the evidence is there, but they clearly never learned. I’m talking about people who did awful things, know it was awful, feel absolutely terrible about it, and changed themselves because of their mistakes. And then people still put them on trial. Yeah, they did shitty things, but they know that, they acknowledge it, and they became better. It’s fine to be hurt, it’s completely understandable, and you don’t have to forgive them. But don’t harass them, don’t continually torture them with the past they already know was shitty. It only hurts the healing and the learning.
So, what does this have to do with Gorillaz?
Well. It’s Murdoc. It’s the whole band, but it’s specifically about how a large portion of Gorillaz fans hate, villainize, and all out LOATHE him, rather than examining him and then getting mad at the band. Getting mad at the writers. Getting mad at the creators.
Yes, Murdoc has done absolutely awful things. Downright despicable things. And you have a right to be mad at him, at the things he’s done. You don’t have to forgive him for them. But did you ever give him a chance? Did you ever think there was a reason he’s like this? That he’s not just “the bad guy”?
He’s had such a shitty childhood. His family life was awful, abusive, neglectful, degrading. His school life was just as bad. His entire life is a shit storm. He’s been bullied, harassed, teased, ridiculed, belittled, abused, sexually assaulted, raped, physically assaulted- he’s been through so much shit. No one has ever cared about him, no one has even bothered to help him. So can you blame him for abusing drugs? For lying? For hiding behind this narcissistic facade? For wanting better?
And sell his soul? His body? His everything? Cause all he wants is to be happy. To feel important. To feel LOVED. He didn’t care about the consequences, cause his life is already a living hell. How much WORSE can it get?
So yeah, he gets his band. He gets his stardom. He gets what he’s been wanting for so long.
And he’s still miserable. People still hate him, mock him, DESPISE HIM. Even his bandmates! They apparently don’t care enough to say “Hey, Murdoc? You know about how you’ve straight told us all you’ve been living in a hellscape forever? You need help. You need rehab. You need therapy. You need to heal.”
NO! They don’t! They hate him, too! They’re so happy when he’s gone. People hate him so much, they wanted him DEAD. And guess what, I’m kinda okay with that. He was soooo miserable. He doesn’t need to be put through more pain. He’s been through 52 years of pain, 52 FUCKING YEARS!
But no! Fuck that! Murdoc needs help! He needs someone to understand that he’s messed up and needs help. He needs support. He deserves love. He deserves to be happy for once in his miserable life.
Someone, please. Someone care about this poor old man.
I’m upset cause I’ve been there. No one cared enough about me to say “hey, you’re clearly not okay, you need help.” I tried to kill myself MULTIPLE times. I hurt myself. I hurt others. It wasn’t until I went crying to my parents, bleeding and puking that I got any sort of help. I didn’t even really start healing until last year.
I know what it’s like, not feeling loved. Not feeling cared about. Not having someone who gives a shit about you.
I’ve changed. I’ve become a better, loving, caring person because I’ve been through so much shit.
But I’m 20. I’m young. I still have long life. I started healing early, so I can only get better from here.
Murdoc doesn’t get that. He went through 52 years of miserable existence.
And people thought he deserved it. Deserved to die. Didn’t even try to help.
I’m livid. I’m upset. I’m distraught.
So, yeah. Hate me for liking Murdoc.
But at least I gave a shit about him.
