(eats sakumo’s hair)

🍥naruto sideblog i'm here for my old man 🌾

[goukumo]

hii, name’s goukumo and yapping abt sakumo is my game. i haven’t used tumblr in ages, but if you like my old man too, we can totally get along~ 💖💖

feel free to talk sakumo with me anytime and be warned, i will yap your ear off 😘

i also like kakashi, obito, and madara, but only time will tell if i ever make anything with the four of them (i have. it’s on twt slash x. same name over there • 3 • )

[goukumo]

who's my wittle pookieeeee, who's my itty bitty babieeeee?

[goukumo]

Pinup Poster from the Second Shinobi War, dated sometime between Konoha Standard Year 39-42.

Comments - Depicts the then-popular figure Hatake Sakumo (also known as The White Fang of Konoha) spread across red pillows. Despite the poster being from Konoha, it was found in an underground base in Suna. The well-preserved colors and relatively minor signs of wear suggest that the poster was valued and well-loved, despite it being considered contraband among Sunagakure shinobi at the time of publishing.

[goukumo]

Pretty sure it's not as bad? Unless it's not showing their man bits the sakutities won't cause too much trouble

aight, we'll take a shot at it then. if i vanish from the tumblr interface, you all know why XD

[goukumo]

guys does tumblr still clutch its pearls at Sort Of Extensive nu-dity or has that calmed down a bit, kinda forgot but i just want to know

[goukumo]

I quite adore that Sakumo's one of the few shinobi who wears full gloves. It has a different allure than the fingerless ones... ough... what dainty fingertips are you hiding beneath all that cloth...!

...but at the same time I like it in a practical sense. I imagine using a sword as your main weapon would develop heavy callouses on your hands, not to mention all the bruising and scars that could develop. I like to imagine babykumo suffered many injuries to build up base callouses on his hands, before switching to proper full gloves later

[goukumo]

[goukumo]

this sakumo looks ass but luckily for me, i like sakumo's ass

[goukumo]

Apparently it’s kkob week? So have some kkob

[goukumo]

Is mpreg only canon for sakumo or is Madara getting some of that biologically impossible action

oh, madara's impossible biology is capable of something alright, just not in the way one might expect XD

[goukumo]

Old man yaoi

you get it anon, you get it

[goukumo]

The seasons change, as do how you see certain people.

[goukumo]

"What, do I have something on my face?"

"N-No, it's nothing."

[no clear idea, it's just a time travel concept w/ time traveller!sakumo who gets taken in by the Uchiha for his swordsmanship, but ends up getting close to a certain clan head]

[goukumo]

Does Kakashi have a mom or did sakumo just use mitosis to create him?

i raise you a third theory: mamatake was so powerful that, when paired with sakumo's inherent dilf-ism, she could bend the rules of biology itself ✨

[goukumo]

the rabbit that was and the rabbit he could have been

[goukumo]

If obito braught Hatsune Miku to sakumo he would have his will to live again

I can confirm it works this was trust me

ok i gotta admit i got a lil bit too into the idea of hatsune sakumo (what would that name even translate to anyway... the first sound of the crops?? first sounds of the harvest??? that's kinda cool ngl)

[goukumo]

"...Really, Obito? this is the so-called 'White Fang' that you admire so much?"

thoughts abt madakumo under cut:

I find Madakumo to be a v fascinating ship, though one that is probably a bit hard to write for, mostly bc I don't like when characters who are tough in canon get softened for the sake of ship. So, I can see Madara being quite critical abt Sakumo, esp his attitude, since despite his strength as the White Fang he's a big softie against actual people (cause you don't do le seppukku if you didn't give some of a shit abt people's opinions XD) So if they somehow get to know each other, Madara wouldn't know what to make of him, bc Sakumo's strength as a shinobi does not reflect on his strength as a person, or his mental fortitude against judgement. He eventually decides that this guy gotta toughen up, because no Uchiha befriends such weak shinobi!

Meanwhile Sakumo I think would be kinda terrified abt Madara at first HAHAHA ("Y-Your new friend's grandpa is The Madara? Are... Are you sure Kakashi?") but he'll still work hard to get along with Madara, if only for Kakashi's friendship, but I can see him developing a respect for Madara overtime. Their shared knowledge about swords would prob be what connects them first, and it's overtime that Sakumo can see exactly how Madara cares for others, and by being empathetic, understands and even works alongside it, never being quite so peeved when Madara makes fun of him for one reason or another, even tries taking in some of his advice.

Then one thing leads to another, and well... I can see them working things out XD