Summary: shameless bloodymary smut. inspired by this post from @wraithillustrates . this is not a cute lil fluffy fuck! read the tags! also sorry I used a ~ lol it felt better than a ! (wc: 3.8k) || ao3
top!ryland, bottom!simon, established relationship, bondage, praise kink, doctor kink, rough sex, power play / dynamic, face fucking, blow job, spit as lube, anal fingering, sweetheart, orgasm control, handjob, multiple orgasms, creampie, overstimulation, degredation kink, dry orgasm, orgasm delay, edging, hehe refractory, color system, pet names, aftercare
Simon could hear the fibers of rope grinding against each other. Getting tighter and tighter around his wrists. Pulling his shoulders back, keeping them in place.
“You okay? It’s not too tight?” Grace asked, running his fingers around the rope, against the delicate skin of Simon’s wrist.
“Yes,” Simon’s voice was weak already, he could feel the blush across his cheeks. Even the first step of being tied up by Grace had his mind in a haze.
Grace pulled Simon’s wrists further behind him by the rope and leaned down so his lips brushed against his ear. “Yes, what?”
Simon felt blood rush to his cock, already half hard with anticipation. His mind threw all the nicknames he had for Grace to the front of his thoughts. He knew what Grace was looking for. “Yes, doctor.”
Grace ran his tongue up Simon’s neck, eliciting a whine from him. “Very good.”
Simon’s head fell back, landing on Grace’s shoulder.
“Don’t tell me you’re getting tired already, handsome. The fun is just getting started.” Grace’s voice was commanding. Simon lifted his head, “No, doctor. I’m sorry. Please, what do I do next?”
Simon loved all the sides of Grace. His teacher side, his long term partner side, his grumpy in the morning side, all of them. But this side. When Simon got to completely let go and let his doctor tell him what to do, how to make him happy. It was his favorite.
Grace walked around to face Simon, who was still on his knees, arms over his head. Simon’s eyes trailed up all six feet of Grace. Fuck, he was handsome.
“You look so pretty on your knees like this.” Grace squatted down in front of Simon. They were so close, Grace took Simon’s chin in his hands and gently pulled him in for a kiss.
Simon whined when Grace pulled away, feeding Grace’s smirk.
“Do you want more, beautiful?”
Simon nodded eagerly, “Yes, please, yes.”
Grace unzipped his pants, letting them fall to his ankles and stepping out of them as he took his cock in his hand. It peered out of his boxers, slowly revealing itself as Grace’s hand worked faster.
“Here you go, baby.” Grace stepped towards Simon and fed his cock into his open mouth, chuckling in pleasure as Simon greedily took him in.
Simon’s tongue swirled circles around Grace’s dick, and he hollowed his cheeks as he sucked him deeper to his throat. His arms were still above his head, aching from the position. The pain only made him work harder.
“You’re so good at this,” Grace whispered, using his hand to keep the strands of Simon’s hair that fell past his headband out of his eyes. Clipped breaths left Grace’s mouth, eyes narrowed on Simon below him. He really did look beautiful like this. Eyes closed, mouth stretched open around the girth of him. Putting all his efforts into pleasing him. He was perfect.
Simon then took Grace to the hilt and hummed, a trick he’d been waiting to try.
Grace arched over Simon, fingers tightening in his hair as he moaned in surprise. “Ohhhh, Simon,” his eyes were closed now, oblivious to Simon gazing up at him, drinking in the reaction. “Simon, do that again.”
So again, holding Grace’s dick down his throat, he hummed. This time, he held it out until he’d counted to five. The sound from Grace was like music to his hears. He’d earned a lot of moans and praises from him over the years, but this was new.
“Simon,” Grace let his partner’s name fall from his lips. His mind was destroyed from the rush of pleasure. He’d never felt something like that before, and he would do anything to keep feeling it. But now, he needed more. He savored the warmth of Simon’s mouth for a few more seconds before pulling out. He watched as Simon slowly closed his mouth, licking around his lips to clean the saliva that had dripped out.
“Was that okay?” Simon figured it was, but the sudden loss from his mouth left him desperate.
“Sweetheart,” Grace stepped to him again, and pulled him to his feet. He pulled Simon’s chest against his own by the front of his shirt, framing their faces with Simon’s biceps. “I am going to fuck you until you come dry.”
They’d talked about that before, and had safe words in place. But it had been a few weeks, and they hadn’t talked about it since.
In that moment, Simon couldn’t think of anything he wanted more.
“That sound okay with you?” Grace’s tone was firm, but Simon knew he could redirect them right now if he wanted. But he knew his response before Grace had finished asking the question.
“Yes, doctor.”
Grace’s eyes flooded with a dark shimmer. “Good, that’s what I want to hear. Now go lay down on the bed, on your back, to rest your arms.”
Simon obeyed without hesitation, Grace following. Sweat was already in his hair, a few pieces dangling over his forehead. So as Grace reached over Simon to take his sweatpants off, Simon leaned up and licked the side of his forehead. Tasted the sweat his mouth had made fall from that face.
“You want me that bad?” Grace sneered, but couldn’t deny the heat it sent through his body.
“Yes, sir. Fuck. Please.” Simon was a mess, and Grace was only getting started.
“Sir?” Grace stripped Simon’s lower half, leaving just his shirt as he crawled over him. “Do you like calling me that?” He straddled Simon’s hips and pushed his shirt up to expose his chest. Grace’s canvas.
Leaning down, he bit Simon’s neck, feeling hot flesh bend beneath his teeth before closing his lips around them and sucking. Once he knew there’d be a dark blossom in place, he raised his head to whisper in Simon’s ear. “Answer me, darling. Did you like calling me sir?”
“Yes,” Simon pleaded, jerking his hips upwards and grinding their cocks together. It was messy, but Simon would have done anything to feel Grace against him.
“Now, now.” Grace bit his lip at the friction, but had returned to his neutral expression by the time he was properly straddling Simon again. “Getting impatient? Tell me what you want, then.” He ran his hands up Simon’s chest, fingers taking their time to appreciate each finely toned muscle.
All words left Simon’s mind. He wanted Grace buried so deep inside him. He wanted to be filled with his come until it leaked out of him and onto their sheets. He wanted to come so hard he went numb. But all he could manage was a whimper.
“Use your words, or I won’t give you anything.”
“Fuck! Please, fuck me, please.”
“Who are you asking?”
“Doctor.”
“Good. I’ll fuck you, but I want you to come once, first.”
Simon nodded, desperate for touch as he attempted to roll his hips under Grace’s weight. His arms shifted to relax into the mattress while still being restrained.
“You want me to touch you?”
“Please,” his response was automatic.
Grace moved one of his thighs between Simon’s legs, nudging Simon’s legs apart. “Lift this up for me, baby.”
Simon’s face heated, but he did as he was told. While one of his legs stayed pinned under Grace’s body, he raised the other to a ninety degree angle.
“Good, perfect. Just how I want you.” Grace’s voice had reached the tone that sent sparks through Simon’s blood.
“Spit,” Grace ordered, placing his hand in front of Simon’s mouth. Simon lifted his head enough to spit into Grace’s palm.
He swirled a finger in it before plunging into Simon’s ass, starting to finger him open. At the same time, he wrapped his palm with the rest of the spit around Simon’s length, moving his hands in tandem.
“Ahhh~” Simon cried out, the sudden stimulation activating his senses. “Oh fuck, so good, fuck.” He moaned, vocal just the way Grace liked.
He hadn’t always been so loud. But once he’d learned Grace had a praise kink too, and how he was rewarded for being vocal, he’d let himself indulge.
Grace kept a steady rhythm in his right hand while pulling his left finger to the rim of Simon’s hole. He began circling it with pressure before adding a second finger to the movement.
“Ohhh fuck, please, more, yes,” Simon rolled his hips, desperate for the emptiness inside him to be stretched back out.
Grace eased his two fingers inside, reaching his knuckles before he started fingering him again. He moved fast, muscles flexing as his fist hit Simon’s ass again and again.
Simon whimpered, head falling to the side as his hips began to jerk involuntarily. A minute went by before Grace saw him bite his bottom lip, a tell Simon had reached a comfortable level of pleasure.
A sign it was time for more.
Grace began separating his fingers each time he drove them into Simon, stretching him just a bit more before he’d add a third. That always made Simon beg in the most delicious way.
This time, Grace added his ring finger without easing it in. He knew Simon liked the pain.
“Fuck!” Simon shouted, hips struggling to jerk off the bed. Grace wished he had a third hand to hold that waist of Simon’s down, but there was no way he was going to stop what either of his hands were doing.
“Good, good. You’re taking my fingers so well, already so wet down here.”
Simon opened his eyes and peered at Grace. His face was red, muscles in both arms flexing as he worked Simon to his first orgasm. He watched as Grace’s eyes went from his hand buried between his legs to his cock. The hunger in those eyes was undeniable.
And then they were on him.
“Are you going to come for me, sweetheart?”
“Mmmm,” Simon moaned in response, then gathering up the energy for the words. “Yes, ohfuck I’m close.”
Grace kept his motions, watching as Simon’s teeth clamped over his lip, then his eyes squeezed shut. He held that for a few seconds before his hips jerked hard against Grace, come shooting from his dick as his mouth fell open.
“Ryland, Ryland, ohfuck, fuck, Ryland! Fuck!”
Grace let a groan leave his throat, so deep it was almost a growl.
Simon’s chest heaved as he rode out his first orgasm. The most they’d gone in a round was two. The most in a day, three. Grace decided then and there he’d get him to five.
“You’re so beautiful when you’re coming for me,” his voice stayed deep, and he slowly pulled his fingers free. “Ready to do it again?”
In the instant Simon tried to think of which word to use, Grace repositioned himself so he was fully between Simon’s legs, and started fucking him. Hard. He fell over Simon, one hand flat against the mattress, holding him up. The other found that rope and gripped it tight, pulling it against Simon’s wrists.
Simon’s legs shot up, desperate for Grace deeper inside him. Moans were spilling from his mouth, his back arched until his chest met Grace’s.
The sound of pounding filled the room, smack after smack of Grace drilling into Simon without stutter.
Simon kept rolling his hips, desperate for as much of Grace as he could take and then – stars. Grace hit the spot inside him that sent something closer to a scream than a moan from deep in his chest.
Grace gasped in Simon’s ear, the pressure against his tip bringing him closer to his own finish.
“Come… for me…. beautiful,” Grace commanded between thrusts. He knew Simon was right on the edge, so he took the hand from his wrists and reached between them.
At his order, and the fifth slam against his prostate combined with Grace’s hand working that devilish magic between them, Simon came. His hips jerked up, unrestrained this time. Grace moved with him, slowing his pace just barely as he enjoyed the show.
Simon sang his name another time, and Grace vowed he would do anything this man ever wanted.
His own orgasm was close, so close. He saw Simon’s chest collapse against the mattress and knew his second orgasm had ridden its course.
Careful to stay buried deep in Simon, Grace turned his legs beneath him until he was on his shins, knees framing Simon’s ass and pushing his legs further in the air.
And just like that, Grace gripped Simon’s waist with his hands and resumed fucking into him.
Simon gasped, voice weak from strain, and Grace’s head fell back at the euphoria. He could stay like that forever. Buried deep in Simon, using him until he was satisfied.
“You feel so tight Si,” Grace praised, “Gonna make me come.”
“Yes, yes, please,” Simon didn’t need a functioning brain to know he wanted Grace coming inside him. “Fill me, fill me, fuck.”
“Color?” Grace pulled his head forward from being lolled to the side.
Simon’s eyes snapped to his, “Green.”
A sigh left Grace’s lips. He was so fucking close.
“I’ll fill you, handsome. You want my come in you?”
“Yes,” Simon’s voice was louder now, mind slightly clearer from their check in.
Grace’s fingers tightened against Simon’s skin, knuckles turning white as he rolled his hips again and again against him.
“You like when I treat you like this?” Sweat dripped from Grace’s hair to Simon’s pelvis, “Fucking you like a doll?”
The expletive from his lovers mouth was enough to barrel him to the edge. The realization of just how far he was going to take this. What all he’d do to deliver on his promise. He moaned, “Mmhmmm.”
“Good, that’s what you are, you know? When I take you like this,” Grace’s face sneered at his own words, “use you until I decide you’ve come enough.”
Simon’s thighs ached from being held in the air, but the pleasure of having his ass used so ruthlessly overrode it. He would stay like that however long Grace demanded.
“Ohhh sweetheart, I’m close.”
Simon whined, and clenched down around Grace’s cock as he thrust into him.
“Ohhhhh Simon!!” It only took one time for Grace to break, panting as he came inside him.
Simon hadn’t realized how close he was to a third orgasm. He knew they’d done three in a day, and two in a row, but never like this. He hadn’t felt the coil tight in his pelvis, the stretch deep inside him. But it all hit him at once when he felt Grace’s cock pulsing inside him.
“Fuck!” He shouted, beads of come leaking from the tip of his cock. Grace’s head rose, eyes shooting between Simon’s legs.
“Was that three?” he taunted, voice laced with lust and pride.
“I think so,” Simon’s voice was soft.
Grace waited a few seconds, squeezing all the come he could into Simon before pulling out of him.
Simon gasped at the loss, but his head fell back when he felt a drop of something warm leak to his back.
“You think so?” Grace, still half hard, scooted back until his head was between Simon’s legs. He’d lowered them so his feet were resting on the mattress, relief flooding his burning thighs.
Grace licked up the back of Simon’s cock, swirling his tongue over the tip. He took Simon in his hand, and looked up to his eyes. “I guess I’d better make sure you know it this time.”
Grace didn’t know if this would take Simon longer than usual, or he’d come in record time. Either way, he was more than ready to spend the next portion of his life bruising the back of his throat.
Simon’s head fell back against the bed, and he left it that time, trying not to buck his hips too hard but starting to lose himself already.
“Mmmm, feels so good,” Simon moaned.
In response, Grace took him all the way to the back of his throat, jaw stretching as wide as he could, and he hummed.
“Ohhhh! Fuck!” Simon’s hips thrust through all the mental restraint he had and he fucked into Grace’s mouth. He wished his hands were free so he could feel Grace’s hair against his fingers, but knowing he didn’t have the option just made the whole situation hotter.
He tried to hold himself back, not wanting to actually hurt Grace, but before he could Grace had his hands on his back and was pressing Simon deep into him.
His pelvis touched Grace’s nose. That beautiful fucking nose.
Simon’s mind was numb, his arm was still tingling from his last orgasm, and to top it off, Grace hummed. And he moved his head as Simon’s hips jerked, taking him deeper and deeper into his throat.
He heard Grace gagging around him, the tightening of his throat only bringing him closer. His body started to tense, his hips losing control as Grace kept humming and gagging around him. His tongue’s flat pressure against the back of his cock only brought him closer. It was magnified every sensation.
And then it was gone. Cold air hit his cock, and Simon cried out.
“You didn’t think I’d let you come again that easily, did you?” Grace massaged his jaw as he spoke before leaning over to whisper in Simon’s ear. A hand ran up his torso, shirt still pushed all the way up, and pinched his nipple.
Simon whimpered.
“You’ll have to show me just how desperately you want this one.”
“Please,” the word flung itself from Simon’s lips, “Please, I’ll show you, please.”
Grace repositioned himself between Simon’s thighs and wrapped his arms around them, bringing Simon nearly on top of him.
“I love this view,” Grace spoke, letting his eyes slowly wander down Simon’s body. “You’re perfect. And you’re doing such a good job for me.”
Simon’s dick twitched, desperate for the warmth that had been ripped away. They’d edged a few times before. Simon never lasted long.
“Please,” he whispered, and cried out again when Grace lowered his head over him.
Grace bobbed his head, dragging slow patterns around Simon’s cock with his tongue. He took his time, devouring every drop of precum, massaging his thighs as he worked hands free.
Simon was in ecstasy. Surely there was no better feeling than this. Fucked out orgasm after orgasms, now laying here while each sensation brought him slowly closer to a familiar cliff.
Would this be his last one? He wanted to savor it.
Like Grace read his mind and accepted the challenge, he felt more and more of him slide against his tongue and down to his throat. He heard Grace inhale slowly through his nose. And then Grace hummed again, at the same time as he hollowed his cheeks.
The vibrations shot pleasure straight to his brain. He wasn’t going to be savoring anything for very long at this rate. Grace wagged his tongue in his mouth, digging his fingers deep into Simon’s thighs.
He wondered if there would be ten perfect bruises there tomorrow. He hoped there would be.
“Ohhfuck, Doctor!!” the term flew from him on instinct as he came, endorphins rushing to fill his veins. But he also felt… empty. He felt a few drops of come leave him, but the complete sensation was different this time.
Had he done it?
But then, he felt it. More come sprang from him, trailing down his cock into Grace’s throat. Just a little, but enough. Grace swallowed it eagerly, not pulling away until Simon had stilled his twitching.
Grace was beaming. He leaned up, resting his arms around Simon’s head and kissing him deeply. “I’m so proud of you, baby.”
Simon nuzzled into him, ready to start relaxing, when Grace continued speaking.
“You think you can give me one more?”
Simon whimpered.
“Honey?” Simon warmed at the endearment, but his brain latched to the tone.
Grace wasn’t asking.
Simon nodded against him. “Is that what I need, doctor?”
Grace bit into his shoulder, then brought his teeth to the spot where his shoulder met his neck, and sucked. Simon writhed, his body unknowing if it wanted closer or distance from the sensation.
He pulled his lips away, admiring the two marks he’d now left. He looked to Simon’s eyes. “Color?”
Simon thought for a moment. He looked down at his body, it looked like him, but he felt so used. So fucked, so filled. But a little part of him was still begging for more.
“Green,” Simon’s voice was low, and he shifted a bit. “You should make sure I don’t have a single drop left.”
Grace’s head fell to rest on Simon’s, pressing their foreheads together. He shakily exhaled, breath on Simon’s face. “You’re perfect. So perfect.”
Simon rubbed his cock against Grace’s, eyes pleading.
“I will never get enough of you,” Grace confessed, leaning back and lining himself up to fuck him. He looked to Simon, so blissfully fucked out, yet willing to be used again. Arms so pretty tied above him. And that face. He wished he could take a picture of how Simon looked right now. It’d probably make him come handsfree if he looked long enough.
Simon gave him a small nod and pushed Grace against him.
Grace bit his lip, shaking his head as he pushed back into Simon. They both groaned at the sensation.
“I won’t last,” Grace whispered, and began a slower pace than he’d had before. His hands ran across Simon’s chest, damp with sweat, and found his hips again.
Simon was moaning thoughtlessly as Grace used him. This was slower, more intentful, each thrust deep into him and angled just right.
“Oh, Si…” he thrust just a bit faster, one hand dropping to fist the sheets as the other tightened around Simon’s waist.
“Ryland,” Simon choked out, and his cock twitched erratically against his stomach. But nothing came out. His face pinched, mouth falling open as he rode this feeling out.
The movements on top of his speed sent Grace spiraling into his orgasm, head falling between his shoulders as he released another round.
A few moments passed before Grace looked up. Simon had relaxed, laying with his eyes closed. Grace slowly pulled out of him and reached up to unknot the rope between his hands.
“There you go, sweetheart,” Grace cooed, sliding the rope down Simon’s arms before tossing it to the floor. He lowered Simon’s arms to his sides and gently kissed his temple.
“Are you feeling okay?” he whispered, studying Simon’s face.
“Yeah,” he whispered, “come lay with me.”
Grace didn’t hesitate, wrapping his arm over Simon’s torso while the other reached above him, untangling Simon’s hair.
“You’re everything I could ever want. In every way.” Grace whispered into Simon’s ear, placing slow kisses around his forehead.
“So are you,” Simon mused, and they both smiled as they closed their eyes and snuggled into each other.
Grace looks up, registering the look on Simon’s face. Simon had told him about the last tree just last night, but he now realized he never got back to telling him about the plants on Erid. It hadn’t felt like the right time to flaunt his miracle of science after Simon had confessed the absolute lack of it from his life. But now he was pulling fruit after vegetable from his tote bag, flaunting it in front of him.
“There was a green space on the ship, just some saplings and small plants. I did my best to keep them alive, but the Eridians have done a ton to help create an actual greenhouse for me to keep plants in. I don’t have the greenest thumb, but I think they’re doing alright.”
“A greenhouse… you mean it’s just filled with plants?” Simon recited to confirm that such a place really did exist on Erid.
He nodded, “Let’s eat and then I can show you.”
“I want to see it.” Simon’s gaze was locked on Grace, hope flying through him in a way he’d repressed deep inside himself years ago. “Now. Can we go now? Where is it?”
Grace smiled, “Of course. I should have known you’d want to see it right away. Let me take your IV out and we can go right now.”
Simon scooted to the edge of his bed and offered his arm to Grace.
“You can probably stay without this now, as long as you get enough nutrients from the food.”
“Does that mean I can move out of this room, too?”
Grace chuckled, “Yes, it does. The biodome team hasn’t started building you anything yet, because we wanted to find out what you wanted,” he explained, removing the needle from Simon’s arm and quickly placing a cotton ball and bandage over the spot. “You can stay at my place, or I can show you a few places around here that you could make a temporary home.”
Simon knew what he wanted. Any opportunity to stay with Grace he wasn’t going to pass up. He was still hesitant of all the compassion Grace was showering him with, but if this was going to be the one chance in his life he got to be happy, he wanted to take it. Even if he knew he’d pay for it with misery later. “If it’s really okay, I’d like to stay with you. But if I’ll put you out at all, I can stay here. It’s all good.”
Grace had to stop himself from cutting Simon off half way through that sentence and promising him that it was okay. That if it didn’t make him feel like a creep, he would have insisted Simon stay with him. But he had to play it cool. Or at least try. “I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want you staying with me,” he turned back to Simon.
He wobbled on his feet for a moment, and Grace offered an arm for him to grab onto if needed. But he steadied himself and looked back to Grace as he lowered his arm. “Thank you. But if that changes, please tell me.”
“I promise I will,” Grace reassured as best as he could. “I’m happy you want to stay with me. So I can keep an eye on your recovery!” He added, overthinking the ‘playing it cool’ thing.
“Lead the way,” Simon chatted as they walked to exit Mary. “Not that your ship is uncomfortable, it’s millions of times better than mine was, but I’m ready to see what else is on this planet of yours.”
Grace chuckled and opened the door, “I wouldn’t call it my planet. Earth will always be my planet.” He felt a familiar pang in his chest, “But I can’t imagine getting much luckier than I have on Erid.”
They chatted a bit on the short walk to Grace’s house, Simon asking questions about the biodome and Grace doing his best to answer them. He did understand a lot of how it worked, but some things he knew Adrian or another Eridian could explain with more nuance that would answer Simon’s questions better.
Simon walked quicker as soon as he saw the greenhouse. Grace easily kept up, finding this little show of excitement endearing. Simon fell silent, so Grace began explaining how it came to be.
One at the door, Simon froze, starting to turn his head to look towards Grace, but unable to tear his eyes away from the plants he was now just one xenon wall away from. His face was awash with emotions as he looked from the greenhouse to where Grace now stood beside him.
He’s not opening it, Grace realized. “Open the door,” he gave Simon his blessing, voice soft.
Simon slowly stuck his hand out and pushed the door open.
The first thing he noticed was the smell. Fresh dirt. Hydrated, mineralized dirt. It was like a hug around his senses, reminding him of the good once in his life.
All the plants were labeled, in what he assumed was Grace’s handwriting. It was small, a little shaky but readable. He liked it.
He hadn’t moved, in total shock that this was all real. He wanted to touch them. To feel the gentle softness of a baby leaf against his fingers. Damp soil under his nails. Sweat drip down his back as he spent hour after hour repotting, germinating, and raising his plants.
“Simon,” he heard, realizing Grace was looking at him.
“Sorry,” Simon’s voice was almost inaudible as he fought to keep his composure. “Should I-”
“Simon,” Grace’s voice was sturdier now, and Simon thought he noticed him start to reach towards him but stop himself. He’s still afraid to touch me, his brain stored in the back of his mind.
“Simon, you can touch them. Please do, really. I’ve done okay with the information Stratt sent, but I never had a green thumb.” He paused for his words to sink in, “This can be yours. I’m sure your love of plants far outweighs my experience here.”
Again, the hope Simon had worked so hard to bury inside him surged through his veins. He felt vulnerable, he felt excited, and scariest of all, he wanted to hug Grace to share all this energy he was feeling.
He walked towards a plant, labeled “Parsley”, and he touched it. Then, he ran his index finger through its soil. Hardly any of it stuck to his skin.
“When was the last time these were watered?”
Grace cringed, “It’s been since you woke up. I didn’t want to leave you,” the words left his mouth before he could think to rephrase into something that made his chest feel less tight.
Simon didn’t seem to notice the implications Grace’s brain were blaring in his mind. “It’s been three days?! You have- I mean, we… They need water.” Fuck, Simon thought, He’s going to hate me. He’s going to think I’m trying to take all his hard work for myself and-
“I’ll show you where I get it,” Grace’s voice cut through Simon’s thoughts. His eyebrows furrowed, was Grace actually serious about him taking care of the plants? It was more than just an empty offer?
Grace lead Simon to where he had actual running water to the back corner of the greenhouse. “The Eridians really hooked me up with this. Water was one of the difficult resources for them to create, despite it’s relatively simple chemical compound.”
Simon just nodded, taking the watering can from Grace’s hand and putting it under the faucet. He realized then he had to leave it and use the same hand to control the tap. A minor adjustment, but he’d been trying to stay distracted from the loss of his arm.
“Hey, are you okay?” Grace asked, and finally reached out and touched Simon’s wrist.
There was definitely a spark. They both ignored it.
Simon looked at Grace’s hand, surprisingly steady and resting so lightly on his. He looked up at him, struck again by the most beautiful color he’d ever seen in his life.
“Yeah,” his voice was soft but dismissive, “I’m fine.” But nothing about this was fine. This, at least, Grace didn’t ignore.
“Are you sure?” Grace’s hand squeezed Simon’s, just a bit, but something about it pushed Simon to open up.
“It’s nothing that can be helped. Usually I’d control the water with one hand and get the watering tin with another. But now I just have the one.”
Grace noticed the slight alteration in how Simon’s people referred to watering cans. His science brain devoured this scrap of information and stored it for later. But his heart was solely locked on Simon. He wasn’t pitiful, Grace knew he was still perfectly capable of completing the task. It was just different now, and that was going to take some getting used to.
“It’ll be weird for a while. But you aren’t alone in this. I know I can never know what you’re going through with this, but I want to be there for you while you’re figuring it out. No matter what that means.”
Simon shook his head, dropping his hand back to his side. I don’t deserve this. After everything I’ve done, I should have to live with this pain and struggle because of it.
“I’ll be fine. Just something new to live with.”
“No,” Grace responded before he had time to finish the idea in his brain. “I mean, if you process things alone better, I can get that, but I just feel like you’re the suffer in silence kind of guy. But you don’t have to suffer anymore!” His voice rose more than he anticipated, almost a shout.
Simon flinched.
Grace felt his heart break in two and shatter to the ground.
“Oh fudge, oh Simon, I’m so sorry.” Grace fell to his knees and took Simon’s hand in both of his, holding his fingers and pressing his forehead to them.
Simon had felt himself flinch at Grace’s obvious frustration with him. So he completely tensed and found himself silent, with tears streaming down his cheeks when Grace fell to his knees in front of him.
Did that mean the same thing on Earth as it did for Simon? Could Grace actually feel this amount of remorse and devotion and want this deeply to reconcile with him? There was no way he meant so much to this man he’d known for two and a half days. And that would change if Grace knew the things he had done on Eden.
Yet there he was, holding Simon’s fingers, rambling apologies at his feet. It felt otherworldly to be happening to him. And by this man who was so much more than himself.
He had to say something. To stop the words he was barely comprehending from flowing out of Grace’s mouth. It was all too much. Too fast. Maybe Grace was an idiot, exiled from Earth for being too blind to the horrors of the universe.
“Grace,” he whispered, but it didn’t seem to reach his ears. So he tried again. “Ryland.”
Blue eyes whipped up to meet his. Seeing Grace’s tears, Simon became instantly aware of his own. Fuck, he’d forgotten he was crying. This is crazy, he almost laughed to himself.
“Stand up,” he tried to make his voice gentle, and it must have worked, as Grace got to his feet, and let Simon’s hand fall from his. He shoved them in the pockets of his cardigan, not hiding the way he bit his lip to stop his tears.
“Ryland,” he repeated again. He liked the way it sounded. He liked the way Grace reacted to it, like it was a beacon he couldn’t ignore.
“I don’t know what to say,” he admitted, realizing he hadn’t thought beyond getting Grace to stand up. But he knew he needed to reassure Grace that what he had just done was not necessary. Like some sort of intervention, Grace’s eyes flicked to a stool opposite them. It sat before a small desk cluttered with papers.
“Do you want to sit down?” He offered
“Please,” Grace confirmed, and the two walked the few feet so Grace could sit.
Simon let his instincts take control. Where Grace’s legs had naturally fallen apart, he walked between them. Grace’s breath hitched at the sudden contact, their legs rubbing together, Simon standing so close. He was unable to help the blush that crossed his cheeks, and he saw a matching reaction on Grace’s features as well.
He took a small breath before taking Grace’s face in his hand the way Grace had done to him the night before. His eyes scanned Grace’s face, looking for a sign of… anything, really.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” Grace spoke first, for which Simon was thankful. He was almost unnaturally still, not the relaxed reaction Simon was hoping for after touching his face.
“It’s okay,” Simon brushed his thumb against Ryland’s cheek, feeling the stubble of his beard meet the soft skin of his cheek. “Your skin is so soft,” the thought escaped before he could realize how loud it was in his mind.
Grace’s blush spread from his cheeks to his ears, eyes widening. “I- hah, thanks? They say salt water is a natural exfoliant.” His tone was witty, and it took Simon longer than he would have liked to realize Grace’s meaning.
“Oh,” Simon’s voice was softer than he’d ever heard from himself. “Ry, no.” His heart felt so heavy in his chest. How was this man causing him to feel so strongly? Yet he immediately gave in to the urge to move his hand around Grace’s neck and pull him against his chest.
Grace stiffened for longer than Simon thought was natural, but just when he was about to pull away and never show his face again, Grace’s arms flung around his waist, holding him tight. He felt Grace take several deep breaths against him. He felt the way Grace’s nose pressed against the muscles of his stomach. The way his breaths warmed the fabric of his shirt.
After a few more moments, Grace pulled back, but kept his arms around Simon, his fingers intertwined to hold him there. “Sorry,” Grace chuckled, “I’ve felt so emotional lately. There’s been so much change, ya know? Not that any of it has been bad. Nothing about you is bad. Literally nothing. I’m just… adjusting. And it all hits at once sometimes.”
“I know what you mean,” Simon brought his hand back to Grace’s cheek. This time Grace relaxed into the touch, allowing Simon silent permission to smile at this win.
For a second, they were lost in each others eyes again, each of them taking in the world before them. All the possibilities. All the hope. They let themselves feel it.
“You went on your knees,” Simon whispered, the memory flooding back.
Grace’s blush was still heating his face. “Yeah. I just saw you flinch, and honestly my hea-” Grace choked on tears that had swelled in his eyes, but quickly wiped them on his shoulder. “It broke my heart.”
For the second time? Third time? That day, Simon’s heart surged in his chest. He was going to have a heart attack if this kept happening. “I’m not proud of that. It’s still difficult to believe that this is all real. I don’t want to go away.”
“Oh heck,” Grace buried his face in the front of Simon’s shirt, which was technically Grace’s shirt. He remembered when Grace had given him a stack of them, and the story he’d told him about when he’d woken up from his coma. He found himself with ‘all these toned muscles’ that stretched the sleeves out, but ended up shrunken with scurvy until they’d hung on him like dresses.
Grace could have died. Probably should have, given the statistics he'd learned with that story. Would he even have been rescued if Grace had died on the way back to Erid?
But then again, would he really want to be rescued if he didn't have Grace with him? Everything would be so different.
Suddenly, it all made sense. Grace was his angel. His reason for salvation, his opportunity to experience life the way he could have, if his world weren't torn apart by war and death.
“My angel,” the name left his lips just seconds after its appearance in his mind.
Grace looked up immediately, torn from his thoughts about the heat he could feel from Simon’s body. His eyes were still wet with tears, a sadness in that beauty Simon wanted to take away forever. “What?”
Simon’s blush returned from its brief hibernation. But the smile that crept across Grace’s face said more than anything he could have come up with.
Grace’s mind was on fire. He knew, undoubtedly, that he wanted to kiss Simon. He wanted to hold his beautiful face in his hands and kiss him with all the passion he had to give. He wanted to show Simon how valued he was, that he was safe, that he was so thankful that Simon chose him to let into his life. Even though there were no other (human) options.
But he was scared. This was by far the most intimacy they’d shared since Simon woke up. Their first hug was something he had replayed time and time again in the hours since Rocky had split them apart. But today, this greenhouse, it was so much more. It felt like the universe was using anything and everything to push them together.
“You’re an angel,” Simon repeated, louder this time. “You have to be.”
Grace shook his head, so small it was almost unnoticeable. “I’m shockingly mortal.”
Simon laughed. Grace could have smacked himself for being such a cliche. Because of course Simon’s laugh would be the best thing he’d heard since discovering Rocky’s language. Of course the sound would be like a siren’s call to him, tempting him to draw it out more.
“What are you doing to me?” Grace was mostly joking, but there was a tone of seriousness that he hoped Simon would pick up on.
“I’ve been wondering the same thing. But now I have my answer.”
“Jeez, we sound ridiculous,” Grace laughed, eyes flicking down to Simon’s lips for a brief moment before returning to his eyes.
Simon raised an eyebrow, mimicking Grace’s look.
“I, uh, let’s go inside.” Grace stood, “We need to eat.”
“Grace, wait,” he reached out and took Grace’s wrist, gently, but Grace yanked it away.
“I’m sorry,” Grace snapped, “I just… I need to go.”
Simon had no idea what he did wrong. He thought he was reading the signs. He thought they were bonding. He thought Grace was his angel.
But he must have thought wrong. Because there went his angel, walking away from him, and there was nothing Simon could do to get him back.
. ⁺ . ◆ . ⁺ .
Simon waited a few minutes before following Grace back to his house. Grace had left the door ajar, which he knew Rocky had gotten him out of the habit of, so he took it as a sign he was allowed in. He gently pushed open the door, “Grace?”
“I’m here,” Grace sat on the edge of the couch, face buried in his hands, glasses pushed up in his hair.
Simon sat on the cushion next to him, leaving some space between them. His instinct was to apologize, but something told him to wait and let Grace speak when he was ready.
A few minutes later, during which Simon spun the ends of his hair in his fingers and shook his leg, Grace spoke.
“There’s a part of my story from Earth that I haven’t told you.”
Simon sat back in the couch a bit, signaling that he wasn’t going anywhere. “Whatever you’re willing to tell me, I’ll listen.”
Grace nodded, and took a slow, deep breath. “I’m just a scientist,” he let that first sentence settle, a dry laugh punctuating it. “I helped with some of the first Astrophage discoveries, and was involved with training the astronauts and explaining everything to the representatives of the different countries.”
Simon nodded, listening intently.
“I know some of that contradicts what I’ve told you already.” He took another breath and ran his palms up and down the thighs of his pants. “I’m not an astronaut. I was never supposed to be. There was an explosion, a totally avoidable tragedy, that killed the original crew.” He looked from where he’d been staring a hole into the table to Simon’s eyes. “I told you there were three of us, a pilot, an engineer, and me. I… I didn’t want it. I had a life on Earth. I was happy. But Stratt needed the most qualified person to save the Earth, and that became me.”
“She made a play of giving me choice. Of letting me ‘think it over’,” he added air quotes, “but it was never an option. I ran. I tried to escape, and they chased me all the way to the gate.” His breaths started quickening, but then Simon was there, a hand outstretched to his knee.
Grace gripped Simon’s hand, the lifeline he needed. He needed something to help him break through this horrid memory and learn to live with its wretched truths.
And Simon was there.
“They tackled me to the ground. And I heard this briefcase open, and I knew they were going to drug me. Stratt had said they’d knock me out, tell everyone it was for my safety before the coma. I was sobbing, begging them not to do this.” He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I told them they were murdering me. And then they did it anyways.”
Simon’s hand tightened around Grace’s knee.
“You know the rest. Now I’m here. And for so long, all I had to think of was being pinned to the planet I loved and being ripped from it. Being… violated and betrayed. And to top it off, I thought I’d never see, or talk to, much less touch another human again.”
He scooted closer to Simon, just like before, and touched their knees together. “But now you’re here. And you make me want to push through all that darkness. Because, as weird as it might sound,” he chuckled at his own words, “I want to be able to touch you.” He felt a ramble building about every single way he’d thought about touching Simon since that first night he’d asked him to stay. But he saved it for another time.
“You make it sound like I’m the one who saved you,” Simon answered. He’d heard every word of Grace’s story. But he also knew that sometimes, getting something like that off your chest was difficult enough.
Grace’s eyes sparkled, now, as he looked at Simon. “You are.”
Simon shook his head, smiling at Grace’s gentle expression. “My angel.”
“I freaked out earlier because I do want to touch you. I think you know… But… I want to kiss you, too. Every second in that greenhouse, I wanted nothing more than to hold you in my arms and kiss you until you felt this as your home. But then I thought about what that meant, and how long it’s been since I’ve touched anyone the way we have, and I got in my head.”
“I want that too,” Simon admitted, “Scary as it is.”
“Can we try?”
Simon heard Grace’s question, and then watched as he honest to god bit his lip.
“I’m so fucked,” Simon gave a small laugh before pulling Grace to him, and pressed their lips together.
It was like fire exploding between them. All their anxieties were instantly forgotten as Grace’s hands slid to Simon’s waist, pulling him closer.
Simon leaned to Grace, feeling the pull of his arms but knowing once he got on Grace’s lap, it would be game over. Their kisses deepened, and he moaned as Grace bit his bottom lip. Naturally, his head fell back, and Grace kissed down his neck to the spot below his earlobe.
“Oh, fuck.”
Like the words were a command, Grace bit Simon’s earlobe before scraping his teeth against the skin below, a taunt, before kissing the spot at the same time he ran his fingers through Simon’s hair.
“Fuck,” the pleasure was overwhelming. “Ry, wait…”
Grace immediately pulled away, panting as he took his hands off Simon completely.
“No, keep them,” Simon corrected, taking one of Grace’s hands and putting it back on his body. “I just…fuck…I really want you. And I think I won’t want you to stop,” he confessed before his brain could talk him out of it.
Grace shook his head, and Simon memorized every way lust changed his features. How his lips were wet and already a little swollen. How his eyes had a determination that was spotlighted only for him. Oh, he was so fucked.
“I agree,” he conceded.
“Thank you. For stopping.” Simon’s voice was soft. Vulnerable. He wanted to look down, but the shift in Grace’s expression held him in place.
The devotion was still there, but now, it was a different kind of heated. “Simon. I won’t ask, but I swear to you,” he took Simon’s hand in his, replicating the movement from earlier. “I will never make you do something you don’t want. Whatever it is, please, please just tell me that you don’t want it, and I swear I’ll make it disappear forever.”
Simon’s brain immediately flagged this as a lie. As a manipulation to get his guard down, so it would be easier to kill him, or hurt him, or ship him off later. But everything he’d come to know about Grace went against that.
Could he really deserve this?
No. Grace didn’t know everything from his past. He’d change his mind once he put it together.
So for now, Simon would keep indulging in this fantasy world. Let himself feel cared for and taken care of for as long as he could. That was the plan, and he would stick to it.
Rather than come up with an avoidant response, Simon leaned over and kissed his cheek.
Grace discovered that he loved having his cheek kissed. Simon saw the spark in Grace’s eye, and decided he would give him as many kisses as he could manage. He’d do anything to see this happiness radiating through his angel. To enjoy the bliss of genuinity before it was ripped away.
“Really, this time, we need lunch,” Grace teased as he stood, pulling Simon to his feet with him. “You need to start rebuilding your strength. Not that you don’t have anything built up right now. But I know you’re low on multiple vitamins, and I’ve made it my goal to feed you as many fruits and vegetables as I can get the Eridians to help me cultivate.”
Simon felt his heart become happy, and he relaxed, just a little. “Who am I to say no to that?”
I don't have much time to finish my drawings because of work, buuuuuuuuuut I'm really happy I can squeeze in a little sketching during lunch and before bed.
Aaaaaaa and thank you so much for 700 followers!! Your support means the world to me 🥹💖
they are so sweet to me. i want them to explore how gentle and affectionate people can be with each other because no one really showed them that. not properly or recently at least.
The first time Simon initiates real contact it's in the aftermath of a nightmare while making midnight tea. They have a normal emotional response about hugging another human.
“It’s time to change your bandages,” Grace announced, breaking the silence that had settled between them for the last few minutes. Rocky hadn’t come over yet, which was surprising, but Grace was thankful for the extra time to spend one on one with Simon. “Is it okay that Armando does it? I could as well, but technically he's the professional.”
Simon looked away from Grace, clearly taking a moment to think over his options.
“Can you?” Simon decided.
Grace nodded. “Absolutely! Let me just grab the supplies from the closet and I’ll be right back.” As he walked away, Grace realized the scope of what he’d be doing. Not just would he be seeing Simon’s wounds up close, he’d be treating them. Touching them. He’d have to touch Simon if he was going to have any sort of stability. He would find a way without, if Simon needed, but he hoped the man would be comfortable with some light touches.
Simon hadn’t had a shirt on since his coma, Armando wanting full access to the smaller cuts and wounds on Simon’s chest during his recovery. Grace hadn’t had to put too much thought into keeping his eyes level with Simon’s, but now that he was about to heal him, he found himself blushing at the thought of being so close.
“Okay, first, I’m going to take off these bandages. Obviously.” Grace explained, going step by step, knowing it was easier for the brain to hold on to one thing at a time before executing it. So that was what he did.
Simon inhaled through his teeth as the wrap had to peel from his skin.
“Sorry, oh, I can give you something for numbing, if you’d like?”
“No.” Simon grunted. “I’m fine.”
Grace frowned, but wasn’t about to force administer medication. “Alright, well let me know if I should stop.” He finished removing the bandages as quickly as he could while still easing the wrap from his flesh.
His arm, or the few inches that protruded from his shoulder, looked far better than Grace was expecting. He leaned closer, eyes taking in the type of stitching Armando used, how the skin was pulled together, and how each area seemed to be healing at a slightly different pace.
“Uh, does it look… okay?” Simon’s voice snapped Grace out of his examination.
“Oh! Yeah, sorry. I didn’t mean to stare. Well I did, but you know. It does look good. The stitches seem to be holding really well, and your skin is reconnecting faster than I was expecting. No signs of infection. Everything looks good.” He concluded his report and gave Simon a small, reassuring smile.
Simon nodded, “Thanks. So what now?”
“Right!” Grace reached for the tray of medication he’d gathered. “I’ll try not to touch, I can use cotton to apply the salves. And…aha! If I get the cotton a bit wet first, and press it together, it won’t leave the little pieces behind. That wouldn’t be a huge issue, but it’d be itchy, and there’s nothing worse than having an itch you have to deal with all day.”
Simon considered this. “If it’s easier to use your finger, you can do that. I don’t mind… you touching me.”
Grace blushed, though he admitted to himself he wasn’t sure why the words flustered him like that. “That would be helpful, actually. Thank you.” He removed his glasses, dangling them from one of his ears while he put some of the healer on his fingers.
“It shouldn’t be cold, but these nerve endings are so new, it might feel weird at first.”
“Okay,” Simon responded, bracing himself for the worst. Grace noticed his fingers grip the sheets, but Simon remained silent. Grace’s eyes flicked back to Simon’s wound and he slowly brought his fingers to the first area of stitches. He let his fingers sit for a second before beginning to dab the ointment around, not wanting to swirl them and risk loosening one of the stitches. Better safe than sorry.
His head turned back and forth as he continued applying the salve to Simon’s arm, closely observing how it took to the skin and applied to the varying textures. He’d never done this type of science before, and was fascinated by all the new observations.
Simon spent the time studying Grace’s movements. The way his eyes narrowed on each wound, seeming to observe it as if he’d never done this before. This was the first time he’d been around Grace, besides sleeping, when Grace’s rambles hadn’t given his mind something to fix on. But the main thing he noticed was the slight tremble in Grace’s fingers as he applied each bit of salve to his skin.
Why would Grace be nervous? It had to be from when he attacked him. Grace was a teacher and a doctor, surely this basic treatment wouldn’t be causing him anxiety. Guilt crept up on Simon’s heart. He hated that he’d let his anxiety and fear get the best of him like that. Especially with this man who had shown him nothing but kindness so far.
“Okay. I’m all done! Does everything feel okay?” Grace looked up to Simon’s face for the first time since he started working. He was shocked to see such a soft glimmer in the man’s eyes. He wanted to ask if he was okay, if something he’d done had hurt him, but Simon spoke before him.
“Yes, it feels good. Thank you.” Simon’s eyes continued to shine into Grace’s, and Grace found himself getting lost in the deep brown of Simon’s eyes. Seconds ticked by, the two of them just looking at each other.
Grace felt his heart start beating faster in his chest. That was the first time he’d touched another person in years. He never thought he’d feel another person’s skin besides his own ever again. And now he was healing this man with such beautiful eyes. He was being let in, not hated. Even if it was a slow process, Grace suddenly felt that he would spend the rest of his life waiting for Simon to let him in.
Simon saw those light blue eyes looking at him and was hit with something he hadn’t felt in a long time. He felt safe.
He didn’t know how it happened. He’d only been around this guy, while conscious, for a day? Maybe less? But something about how earnestly he was looking at him made him relax into himself just a little.
“I, uh, I’m sorry for trying to attack you yesterday.” He shoved the words out, hoping they didn’t put more of a rift between them.
Grace’s eyebrows rose a little, but he collected himself quickly. “It’s okay. Really, I get it. I know how disorienting it is coming out of a coma. It’s no fun. I tried to take down Armando,” he laughed, “Obviously that was not successful.”
“You were in a coma?”
Grace pulled a leg under his lap, facing Simon now. “Yeah. We can get into how I got there later,” he ran a hand through his hair, “but I was in a coma for both four and about ten years, because of the whole space time thing. It took me a few days to get the foundation of my memories back, and I was hysterical the first twelve hours or so. So trust me, I get it. I’m sorry I knocked you to the floor. I didn’t have to go that far, I knew you wouldn’t kill me. Rocky and Armando would have stopped you before that happened… probably.”
Simon’s head fell, “But I wanted to hurt you. What if you actually got hurt? Or I actually killed you?.”
Grace’s hand reached for Simon’s shoulder, but froze in the air. He put it back in his lap and spoke, “Simon, hey. It’s okay. You didn’t hurt me, and that’s what matters. But even if you would have, I’d be okay! You’d be okay, too. Nothing bad is going to happen to you here.”
Simon scoffed, not believing he could be in a place completely free from pain and suffering. There was no way a place existed with only good things. And even if it did, he was the last person who would end up there.
“I’m serious,” Grace pushed, “I see the doubt in your eyes. At least as much as I can help it, I promise nothing bad will happen to you here. I, we, just want you to heal and know that you’re safe here. And I’ll do whatever it takes so you can believe me.”
Simon’s heart was beating so loud he was sure Grace’s doctor senses could hear it. He pursed his lips together, licking them before changing the subject. “Did you learn all this stuff in med school?”
Grace looked puzzled for a moment, “Oh, right, Rocky said I’m a doctor. He’s not wrong, but I’m not a doctor in that sense. I just have a doctoral degree in molecular biology.”
“You just have a doctorate in molecular biology.” Simon repeated, in awe of the man before him.
Grace laughed, again running a hand through his hair. “It has its ups and downs.”
Simon shook his head a little, noting Grace’s reluctance to accept a compliment. He’d get him to, one way or another. “So, you going to finish patching me up?” Simon gestured to the wraps sitting beside Grace.
“Shoot! Yes, I almost forgot!” He picked up the wrap, “Is it okay if I hold onto your shoulder? I want to make sure I get this on tight enough.”
Simon studied the look in Grace’s eyes as he asked. Was he nervous to touch him? He was probably disgusted after seeing him covered in blood, in whatever death state he was in when the Eridians found him.
“Yes, that’s okay. Whatever you need to do.” Simon tried to reassure him, but his voice fell to a whisper, “You don’t have to be afraid.”
Grace’s hands froze, eyes wide as he looked to Simon. Simon stayed looking into his lap, avoiding Grace’s gaze. It was silent for a few seconds while Grace’s brain processed the words Simon had uttered.
He began wrapping around Simon’s wound before the words that were flying around his brain finally shoved their way to the surface. He was quiet, but his tone was serious. “When I woke up on Mary… the other two astronauts that were supposed to wake up with me… were dead. So it was just me, and until I found Rocky, I thought I would never interact with another living being again.”
Having wrapped around Simon’s entire wound, he now began fastening that wrap diagonally around his opposite shoulder, securing it in place. The warmth of Simon’s skin was like a drug pulling him closer, but he tried to focus on whatever words were tumbling out of his mouth instead of that temptation. “So when I found out there was another human on Erid… Honestly, I cried. I was so relieved that I would be able to talk to another human being again.” He ran his hand just an inch down Simon’s arm, but it was enough for Grace to get a feel of Simon’s bicep. For how weak he was, the man still had muscle. Again, Grace redirected his focus.
“But then I got so scared. No one has ever wanted to be close to me before. Not for a long time. And I’m sure the Eridians can fix your ship, or you can take mine, and you can go to your home, or Earth, or wherever else in the galaxy you can imagine. But… the idea that you might want to stay here… it was like a dream come true.”
Grace hadn’t noticed he was crying until a tear fell from his chin to his knee, still bent below him. But he wasn’t done wrapping Simon’s arm, and didn’t want to contaminate anything, so he hoped Simon hadn’t noticed and kept going.
Simon had noticed, his eyes snapping to Grace when he saw what he thought was a tear fall from his face. Fuck, he’s beautiful. Simon thought on instinct, then blushed at himself. He was thankful Grace hadn’t looked up to see it. He continued listening to his doctor’s words.
“But I know I can be a lot to be around, all my stupid ramblings, like right now, honestly. Hah.” Grace shook his head at the irony, “But I just… shoot, what the heck am I trying to say? I guess I just want you to know that I’m not afraid.” He completed his sentence at the same time as he taped the end of the wrap down and gave it a small pat. He looked up to Simon, quickly wiping the tears that had started to dry on his cheeks. “I’m not afraid of any part of you, Simon.”
Simon looked up to meet Graces eyes, partially relieved that he had wiped his tears. But part of him wished he had been the one to wipe them away. To rub his thumb across Grace’s cheek, caress his face in his hand. Feel the warmth of his skin and the brush of his beard against his palm. To be touched by someone who wasn't hurting him.
They held each others eyes, each unsure if the desire they were reading in the other was real, or just them projecting what they could no longer deny. But there was an energy bouncing between them that was undeniable.
“Was it okay when I touched you?” Grace asked, so quiet Simon almost didn’t hear him.
Was he trying to flirt? Was he going to ask to touch him more? Simon’s head raced with a million questions, but he knew the easiest way to get the answer was to respond. So he nodded, “Yes.”
Grace’s face was already bright red, but it somehow got brighter. He took an obvious deep breath. He wanted to feel Simon again more than he’d wanted anything in as long as he could remember. But if he fucked this up, there would be no redeeming himself from that humiliation. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe he should change the subject. Maybe-
“Do you want to again?” Simon spoke just loud enough to get Grace’s attention from the void of his anxious thoughts.
Grace bit the inside of his bottom lip, almost like a hesitation, and nodded.
“Go ahead,” Simon took Grace’s hand in his own and began guiding it towards him.
The gesture itself was small, but for Grace, it was huge. It meant Simon trusted him. It meant he was more than just tolerant of his touch, but he wanted it. And it didn't make Grace anxious, either. So he raised his hand to hold Simon’s cheek. The warmth radiated through him even deeper than it had from his shoulder.
Without thinking, Simon nuzzled his head into Grace’s hand. He surprised himself, tensing a little in shock, but couldn’t help himself from relaxing into Grace’s touch. It was so warm. Gentle, like he was radiating his kindness into Simon just through touch. Like he was being healed on the inside, too.
Grace scooted closer, just a little, leaving his knee just centimeters away from Simon’s. But Simon’s eyes had fluttered closed. Grace’s heart about leapt out of his chest at this discovery, and the desire for more sank into him. He wanted to hold Simon’s head completely in his hands, taking the weight from his shoulders. He wanted to hug Simon, feeling the man relax his pain into Grace’s arms. He wanted to hold him as they both fell asleep, bodies intwined, their separate warmths becoming one.
Heat ran through his body. Fuck.
“Simon, I-”
“Don’t move,” Simon’s voice was soft. Delicate. Grace’s heart exploded in his chest.
Eyes slowly opening, Simon looked to Grace, eyes tearing into his expression, reading it off him like it was written only for him.
A brighter, hotter energy sparked between them now. Grace really did not want to fuck this up. But he also really wanted to hug him. And he didn’t think he had the restraint not to at least ask. They were already this far.
“Simon…”
“Grace,” he hummed, thinking, “Ryland.” His given name sliding off Simon’s tongue like silk, causing Grace to inhale sharply.
“You…”
“Ryland, come here.” Simon gave him the first genuine smile he’d seen so far, and Grace didn’t wait a second before lunging to his arms.
Grace wrapped both his arms tight around Simon, but immediately loosened his grip when he remembered his wounds were still in the early stages of healing. But that didn’t change this moment. Simon’s scent, though mixed with the general antibacterial smell, flooded his nose. Simon’s hair brushed his neck, and his chest pressed against Grace’s own. And the true heat that was coming from Simon’s bare chest, the muscles Grace could feel pressed against his soft shirt… Simon was sturdy. He was “safe.” The word slipped from Grace’s mouth, but he let it stay between them, hoping Simon knew he was safe here.
Simon’s world became something entirely new the moment Grace’s arms wrapped around him. It brought back the feeling of love from his mother’s hugs, the familiarity of another human’s touch. He hadn’t felt anything remotely like this since he was a boy, but now it all came rushing back. The safety, the love, the trust, all of it he felt in Grace’s arms.
He took his arm and wrapped it around Grace’s lower back, pulling him closer. He felt Grace bury his head in the crook of his neck, heard him take a deep inhale of his hair, felt his arms tighten and then give a bit of space. He thought he heard Grace whisper “You’re safe,” and though he wasn’t sure, his heart told him he was correct.
“I’ve been afraid for so long,” Simon’s voice cracked, a few tears escaping despite his best efforts. “I’ve been alone for so long. No one has cared about what happens to me since my mom. It’s been so long…” his voice raised in pitch, and he tightened his fingers in the back of Grace’s hair.
“Thank you,” he whispered after a few moments. His wave of tears had subsided, and he began taking slow, deep breaths as his head rested on Grace’s shoulder.
Grace could have had an ugly cry at Simon’s words. But he didn’t want to get snot all over him, especially considering he still hadn’t put a shirt on. So he steadied his breathing, syncing his breaths with Simon’s for a few beats.
“You’re welcome,” he responded, and stayed right where he was.
They held each other like that for longer than was expected. Even when they both felt the moment had passed, they couldn’t bring themselves to pull away. So minutes ticked by, Grace tracing patterns on Simon’s back, careful to avoid his scabs and stitches. And Simon kept his fingers tangled in Grace’s hair, scratching the back of his neck slowly, massaging him.
Grace was about to comment that he could fall asleep like that when he heard the familiar sound of xenon ball on the ground. “Fudge, Rocky’s coming.” He warned, but took a final moment with Simon before pulling back.
“You can tell?” Simon asked, leaving his hand on the side of Grace’s knee.
“You’ll be able to hear him in a second. His ball makes a very specific noise, though it’s designed not to.”
Sure enough, Simon noticed the slight rumbling sound just a second later. “Ahh, I see. Should we…”
Grace sighed, “As much as I would love to tell him to come back later, he won’t take no for an answer right now. He’s going to have a thousand questions for you.”
Simon’s eyes bulged at the number. He knew it was an exaggeration, but he also had observed Rocky’s ability to chatter, like Grace.
“Let me get you a shirt. It’ll have to be one of mine, if that’s okay.” Simon nodded, raising his eyebrows to mock the question a bit. “I just wanted to make sure!” Grace put his hands up playfully, “I’ll come up with a rule… Oh, I got it. For every question Rocky asks you, you can ask him or me one back.”
Simon nodded, “I like that. But do I get to say no?”
Rocky came barrelling through the door. “Friend Grace! New human Simon! Hello! Rocky back!” Rocky headed straight for Grace, circling him as Grace said hello.
Grace tossed Simon the shirt he’d grabbed, as well as a cup of water for each of them. “To answer your question, Simon, of course you can. You know we’ll never make you say or do anything you don’t want to.”
“Rocky agree. Unless we need to save life. Then Simon should do, not ask, statement.”
Simon gave a small laugh to this. “Thanks, guys.”
“Why new human so happy, question? New human healing well?”
“Simon,” Grace emphasized the name, though Rocky was doing better.
“Simon Simon Simon, sorry sorry sorry. Rocky still adjusting, statement.”
“It’s okay. And yeah, I am healing well. Grace is doing a good job taking care of me.” He gave Grace a small smile, eyes sparkling.
Grace could have looked at that smile all day. All week. For the rest of his life. Heck, he really did not want to mess this up. Whatever it was.
“Good! Rocky glad. Now Rocky have questions. Many questions for Simon.”
Before he could set off, Grace interrupted him and told Rocky how it would go. That it wasn’t fair for Simon to have to lay out his whole life story while the two of them gave him nothing in return. So for each question Rocky or Grace had, Simon got to ask one too. It was a rule he’d used for the first day back from breaks as a teacher.
Rocky agreed to this, always more than willing to talk about his mate, or engineering, or anything else for that matter.
So that’s how they spent the rest of the morning, and into the afternoon. They took breaks for food and other necessities, but there was so much to discuss and learn about each other.
And even after Rocky had left for the night, Grace and Simon talked late into the night, each desperate to learn as much as they could about the other.
--
tag list: @luxie963 (sorry for the double tag I made a bloodymary blog and reposted here!!)
Ryland Grace - Intelligent, Compassionate, Pragmatic. Simon Barada - Cunning, Vigilant, Loyal.
Grace had made peace with never seeing another human for the rest of his life. Not feeling the warmth of skin on skin contact, not having his hair ruffled, back rubbed, or any of the little comforts he'd enjoyed before the Hail Mary. Now, he feels like the subject of a romcom, having given up hope only for a chance at happiness to be tossed in front of him. His mind dangles the possibilities of happiness and love in front of him, evil and taunting, before Simon has even woken up. What if he doesn't? Or what if he does, but hates him? All Grace can do is wait, and hope. Something he hadn't let himself do in a long, long time.
(바라다 or Barada is Korean for hope / wish / long for) || AO3
“Rocky mad Rocky asleep! Rocky miss new human!”
“It’s okay, Rock, I’ll tell you everything that happened, and you’ll be here when he wakes up” If he wakes up, Grace’s brain added, paranoid.
“Good good good.” Rocky was still rolling around Grace’s room in his ball, energy getting him as close as an Eridian could get to ‘bouncing off the walls’.
“So, as I was saying, Adrian sent someone to get me as soon as they got back. But we pretty quickly decided that he needed Armando, so we got him on a transport cart and wheeled him over to Mary.”
“Rocky glad Eridians save ship! New human alive because Eridians repair Grace ship.”
“I’m glad too. I don’t know what we would have done without Armando up and running. There’s no way I could have fixed his arm.”
“Grace mention new human have only one arm. Why, question? New arm grow back, question?”
“I don’t know what happened to him, but it seems… severe.” Grace cringed as his mind brought back the human’s shredded arm. The blood covering his entire body. There was so much. “It won’t grow back. Once a human loses something, it’s gone for good. Except hair and nails, that is.”
“Human body bad bad bad. New human need new arm, statement.”
“Maybe, if that’s what he wants. Probably not right away.”
“Humans dumb. Rocky no understand.”
“Everyone is different. He’ll probably want to adjust to not having it, make his peace with it, before considering a prosthetic.”
“Rocky no like make peace. Grace make peace when Earth send Grace to die. Now new human make peace. Bad bad bad.”
“We’ll just have to be there for him.”
“What last word mean last sentence, question?”
Grace thought back, remembering he’d said ‘prosthetic’. “It’s what humans call fake limbs.”
Rocky had settled from rolling around, humming while he sorted the new word into his mind. “Pros-theh-tic” he sounded out.
“Yeah, prosthetic. But don’t bring it up until we talk about it again. Or if he brings it up first, okay?”
“Okay, Rocky wait.”
Grace sighed, relaxing back into the couch. “I hope he wakes up soon.”
★.·´¯`·.·★·.·`¯´·.★
Simon woke up thirteen hours later, just after Grace had fallen asleep.
“Grace! Grace! Wake up! New human awake!” Rocky rolled his ball against Grace’s bed, trying to jostle him awake along with his cries.
Grace rubbed his eyes, trying to focus on anything in the room without his glasses. “Huh? Rocky? What’s wrong?”
“Grace!!! Up!!! New human awake!!!”
“Ahh! New human awake!” Grace repeated back, finally comprehending what Rocky was trying to tell him. “Where? What’s happening?”
But Rocky was already out the door, barreling where the Mary was positioned in Grace’s biodome. Grace was stumbling behind him, slippers and cardigan donned before he ran out after his friend.
Lights were blinking in the room where they’d put Simon, definitely making his panic worse.
“Mary, turn off the alarms” Grace commanded as he entered the room, straightening his glasses as he took in the situation. The new human was trying to stand up, “Fiddlesticks, stop!!” Grace shouted, but the man had ripped the IV from his arm and was charging directly towards Grace.
Grace was thankful he was one of the chosen staff members to receive de-escalation training back when he was on Earth. He’d only used it once, so he was banking on muscle memory to save him when Simon grabbed him by the shoulder and started shoving him back towards the wall.
In this moment, Grace’s brain processed two pieces of information. First, that the man only had one arm, which changed some of the crucial elements of safe restraint. And second, that he didn’t have a ton of room to wrangle him down.
“Stop!” Grace shouted, just once, giving the new human a chance to do this peacefully. He knew it wouldn’t be taken. Teeth snarled in his face, this guy was actually growling at him, but Grace took his wrist and elbow in his hands, pinning his pressure points so he lost his grip and tapping the spot on the elbow that loosened the arm almost entirely.
“Grace!!” Rocky’s song was high pitched and stressed.
If he had more time to think, he wouldn’t have kicked the man’s feet out from under him and pin him chest down to the floor. But that’s what he did.
The man froze under him, breaths heavy, eyes wild with what looked like fear and shock from being slammed to the floor.
“I-” Grace went to apologize, but remembered his training. He couldn’t give in just because he felt bad using this force on someone who had every right to be terrified. “Can you be calm, or do I have to keep you down like this?”
The man struggled to break free of Grace’s hold, but with only one arm and already extremely weak (at least according to the few labs Armando had run), he was no match for the hold Grace had on him. He grunted in frustration, but went limp after a few seconds.
“Fine.” The word was clipped, Grace could feel the hate radiating off this man. But he had to trust him. Even though his school training had gotten him this win, this was still a grown man. He had to respect him like one or they wouldn’t get anywhere.
“Okay, I’m going to get up then. You don’t have to put the IV back in now, but you’re extremely weak right now. You should conserve your strength.” Grace wasn’t expecting a response, and he didn’t get one. So, he slowly released his grip from the man’s arm, getting up but staying seated on the floor across from him.
“Grace! Grace okay? New human attack Grace!” Rocky finally broke in after watching his best friend be attacked by this stranger.
“I’m okay, Rock. Just-”
“What the fuck is that thing!? And what the fuck is that thing?!” The man interrupted, gesturing towards Rocky, then Armando, who still loitering in the corner, waiting to step back in when the scan of the room was clear.
“This, is Rocky. He’s an alien. But he’s nice, his species are kind, and his mate saved your life. So you’re going to at least be nice to him.” Grace channeled his teacher voice, “And that is Armando. He’s a robot. But a medicine robot, and he also saved your life.”
The man’s eyes flicked back and forth between Rocky and Armando, then back to Grace. He watched as a bead of sweat dripped down the side of his face, and he dabbed it away with the sleeve of his cardigan.
“I know this is a lot to take in,” Grace started, “but you are safe here. Whatever questions you have, I promise I’ll answer honestly.”
The man glared at Grace, “And why would you do that?”
Grace’s eyebrows knit together, feeling genuine confusion before remembering that his life on Erid was unusually privileged. Eridians were honest, kind beings. Grace hadn’t been told a lie since the day he was… the day he was sent to space.
His eyes softened, “Because I have no reason to lie to you. Because I want you to be able to trust the care you receive here without fear there will be a cost. Because you’re a human, too, and that’s… well that’s basic compassion that all humans deserve.”
The man’s eyes seemed to well with tears, but he shoved his head between his knees before Grace could be sure. They were both still on the floor, Grace sitting criss cross applesauce, Simon’s knees pulled to his chest, his one arm wrapped around them, holding them to his chest.
Grace didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what he had said that set the man off. Maybe it has something to do with how he lost his arm. The brutality of wherever he came from.
“What new human name, question?”
The man’s head snapped up, and he looked between Rocky and Armando again. “Which one of them said that?”
“Rocky did,” Grace responded, gesturing his head towards Rocky. Rocky took a few small steps towards them. Simon flinched back, but didn’t scoot away.
“My name is Simon.”
“Simon,” Grace repeated back, liking the way his name sounded. He’d never met anyone named Simon before. “Well Simon, I’m Grace. Ryland Grace, but I haven’t been called Ryland in years now.”
“Grace doctor! And teacher! Grace smart smart smart.”
Simon’s eyes seemed to fix on Grace, examining each article of his clothing, his glasses, all the parts of him that did not scream doctor or teacher in the traditional aspects.
Grace noticed this. “I was sleeping when you woke up, that’s why I’m…” he gestured towards his attire, and ran a hand through his hair, hoping to shimmy it into some sort of presentability.
“Oh,” Simon answered, voice gentler now.
Silence sat between them again. Grace not wanting to push, Simon still taking everything in.
“Rocky have many question. When Rocky ask new human Simon question, question?”
“Just Simon, Rock, we don’t have to call him new human anymore,” Grace corrected, giving Simon a small smile while he spoke. “Let’s wait until tomorrow, if that’s okay with you, Simon? Armando can give you something to help you sleep, or you can just… get to it, I guess. And I’ll come back tomorrow afternoon once you’ve had time to rest.”
A sheet of panic washed over Simon’s face. His eyes darted to Rocky and Armando again, and that’s when Grace realized. “I can-”
“Can you stay?”
Grace blushed, biting his lip as to not smile too wide and freak Simon out. Simon hid his blush looking away.
“Yeah, I can stay. Armando, can you grab some blankets from storage?” The robot whirred away, and Grace turned to Rocky. “I’m going to stay, Rock, but you can go. I’ll be alright.”
“Grace sure? What if new human attack Grace?” Rocky tried to be quiet with his question, but they both knew Simon could hear.
“He won’t, he gave me his word. And either way, I can handle it. Trust me.”
Rocky chittered to himself, nervous about the potential disasters that could happen. “Okay. Rocky come back after human sleep cycle. Make sure Grace okay.”
“Okay, sounds good Rocky. See you in the morning.”
Rocky skittered off, probably going to find Adrian and report everything that had just happened. Armando had already dropped the blankets off, as well as a few pillows, for which Grace was extremely thankful.
“I’ll just be right here, okay?” Grace walked to the only chair in the room and spread the first blanket across it. “I used to sleep in here sometimes when I would stay up late working. Even though where I should have slept isn’t far, sometimes I couldn’t make the distance.” He talked on, filling the silence while Simon watched him set up. “It’s actually really comfortable. Though after two or three nights it really does a number on my back.”
Silence, again. Grace was a talker, especially when anxious, but he was used to Rocky matching that and more. He’d finished setting his makeshift bed, though, so he left his slippers at the foot of the chair and slipped into the blankets. Before settling in, he took off his cardigan and put it on top of the blankets, a final comfort.
“Do you need anything before we sleep? I can get it,” he offered, wanting Simon to feel able to ask for things without worrying that the robot would be involved. Or the alien, for that effect.
“No,” Simon responded. Then adding, “But thanks.”
“Of course,” Grace’s positivity shone even in the dark. “Goodnight, Simon.”
“Night.”
--
Chapter 1! If anyone wants to be added to a taglist, let me know! I'm aiming to have Chapter 2 up tomorrow >:)
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