Do you remember the first time you fell in love? And how it was so reckless because you hadn’t yet experienced heartbreak? It felt free, fun, hopeful, innocent, and magical.
If you’re like me and you aren’t with your “high school sweetheart”, you inevitably experienced heart breaking pain. You were new at it, so you had no idea how long the pain would last or what life would be like after it. But you knew that you never wanted to feel that again.
So then you moved on and bossed up. Eventually, you meet someone new. This time is different though. You lost a little of your free spirit. you’re cautious because you now know the consequence of love that wasn’t meant to be. You have some brand new baggage, a few walls up, some insecurities, a few fears. And it feels nice to love again. But it just isn’t as..... fearless reckless innocent magical hopeful fun. This is slow and it is cautious.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••
For me, that second cautious love ended.
So, I started casually dating. Not really looking for anything serious. It’s hard being with someone in nursing school. I just planned on going on some dates and having fun. But a part of me knew, that if I stumbled upon someone special, I would straighten up. Fast. But what are the odds of that??
Must I say what happened?
I have anxiety. I am not a reckless person. I am cautious and disciplined. I am wise.
And here I am. Throwing caution to the wind. And recklessly falling in love. Fast. Acting like I’ve never been disappointed. Like people have never changed on me.
It’s scary. For me, my family (sorry dad), my friends. I know they think we are crazy. I do too.
But have you ever met someone and felt like old friends picking up right where you left off? Have you ever felt a connection so strong that you knew that this is something that would last? And both of you felt the same way?
This is fun and free, but it is also very serious and fast.
And I am learning that fast is not always bad.
After all, it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
snowghoul
germansingergirl
tangentwithtanner
titsay
