My Grandpa, The Punk

[grandpathepunk]

Grandpa trying to describe his constipation

"It's like...the poop head is hard and is nervous to come out."

[grandpathepunk]

Wrong number

Grandpa calls one of the contacts saved on his phone. Person on phone: Hello? G: (doesn’t recognize voice and hesitates) P: Hello? G: Hello. Is your mom there? P: Who? G: Oh, I called the wrong number. P: Is his (Grandpa’s name)? G: (hangs up)

[grandpathepunk]

The cutest sad thing is happening right now

Grandpa is on the phone with his friend's wife. His friend is currently in rehabilitation after being hospitalized. Grandpa is giving tips on how to take care of him -- by rotating different foods so he'd have an appetite. 😢 Slowly realizing more and more how important it is for grandpa to go socialize every weekend.

[grandpathepunk]

N: Grandpa!! That goes into the compost bin!! G: Hm? *as he pours the pistachio shells into the recycling bin* Almost the same, Grandpa. Almost the same...

[grandpathepunk]

G: Hey, let me teach you something

N:..ok

G: What do you if you are constipated? Do you know?

N: Eat yams? Things with fiber?

G: No!!!! You drink warm water! Haha

N: Oh good! Yeah! Drink more water!

G: No, you have to drink it the instant you're constipated. That's when it works best. Worked twice for me already. ☺️

[grandpathepunk]

Showed pictures of his new great grandchild. Acknowledges size and proceeds to share story about he was not greedy in drinking his mother’s breast milk when he was an infant.

[grandpathepunk]

Just told my grandpa that I got into med school. He asked, "when do you start?" And then just kept eating...hahahahaha

[grandpathepunk]

*Grandpa sneezes twice* N: Are you cold, Grandpa? G (very agitated): I JUST NEED TO SNEEZE

[grandpathepunk]

Question of the day

"How come you don't smoke?"

[grandpathepunk]

When Grandpa tries to talk/shout over the TV, I have trouble hearing him even when he’s sitting right next to me. I start to question my own hearing… But then I remember the TV is at volume 40.

[grandpathepunk]

Grandpa talks to me about people I don't know and then gets mad at me because I don't remember.

[grandpathepunk]

Grandpa learned how to use the mute button 😱

[grandpathepunk]

"I want to buy soap. Your mom said to use the white one but it doesn't smell good. Only the green ones smell good. The red ones too. "

[grandpathepunk]

"I'm about to throw this phone away because it doesn't listen to me. It's not obedient."

[grandpathepunk]

G: Hey S, how come you're not eating this? *gestures to ribs* N: LOLOL, Grandpa. Are you just telling him to eat it because you don't want to? Lololol Grandpa takes one piece. Only one. To prove a point 😂😂😂

[grandpathepunk]

N: Do you need me to order any pens? G: No, I still have a lot. I haven't been writing. N: What?!?!!? G: I've been playing with my iPhone.

[grandpathepunk]

G: OHH! It's 7:50. The sun is setting. N: How do you know? Did you get this from your phone? G: No!! The phone said so.