The Grant Old Party

I am impervious to fire and most forms of flattery.

[heckifiknowcomics]

[endangered-justice-seeker]

 the only criticism of millennials l accept

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Constructive Criticism

[sexualassbutts]

If you're ever bored, here's a list of Studio Ghibli films you can watch for free.

Castle In The Sky (1986) Grave of the Fireflies (1988) My Neighbor Totoro (1988) Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989) Only Yesterday (1991) Porco Rosso (1992) Pom Poko (1994) Whisper of the Heart (1995) Princess Mononoke (1997) My Neighbors the Yamadas (1999) Spirited Away (2001) The Cat Returns (2002) Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) Tales from Earthsea (2006) Ponyo On A Cliff From The Sea (2008) The Secret World of Arrietty/The Borrower Arrietty (2010) From Up on Poppy Hill (2011)

If any of the links stop working, please let me know so I can fix it.

For Castle In The Sky, wait for the free user button to be clickable and it will send you to the video.

[allydsgn]

how do I not share this, though (HIGHLY RECOMMENDING HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE IT’S MY FAVORITE)

[zjoy-deactivated20190221]

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984) The Tale of the Princess Kaguya (2013) The Wind Rises (2013)

[palindromic-geek]

These are so good if you need something to calm you down on a bad day or after panics :)

[probably-voldemort]

Today at after-camp daycare, we played Life and Death and God.

Basically, it’s the Game of Life but with some alterations created by the six 8-10 year old boys that were there.  I was designated writer of The List Of Stuff, aka the list in which anything we currently “possessed” (ie houses, children, pets, spouses, Gifts From God) was listed under our name so we could keep track.

God was played by the one boy who didn’t want to actually play.  When I asked him how God was going to fit into the game, he said that God worked in mysterious ways so he could randomly give people News From God whenever he felt like it.  We settled that if someone spun a three, they’d receive a miracle, and if they spun a seven, they’d get bad news, and at the end of every round (ie when everyone had had a turn) he could make a new rule for the world.

“Dude, you should’ve prayed more,” God told one boy as he spun a seven.  “Your dog got possessed by a demon and ate your baby.  You need to get an exorcism.  That costs $50,000 and a life card.”

“Aww man,” the unfortunate demon dog owner said.  “Not Shark Tooth Junior.  She’s my only daughter.”  Flips through his money  “What if I don’t want to spend money to get an exorcism?”

God shrugged.  “Then I guess you can keep a demon dog,” he said, “but it requires a human sacrifice every turn or it’ll eat you.”

The demon dog owner sighed and paid the money, and I crossed off both Shark Tooth Junior and Chicken Strip the dog off his List Of Stuff.

“Congratulations!” God said on another turn.  “You’re pregnant!”

“But I’m a man.”

“That’s why it’s a miracle,” God pointed out.  “It’s the next Jesus!  Also you have to name him Jesus The Second cause I’m God and I say so.”

I was blessed with the ability to turn water into wine at one point, and started a winery as a side business.  Both were added to my List Of Stuff.

At one point, not long after he’d had his first child, one of the boys’ mom came to pick him up.

“Come on,” she said.  “We have to go.”

“Give me a minute, Mom,” he called back.  “I’m dead.  We have to read my will.”

Thus proceeded the reading in which I read through his List Of Stuff one by one and he declared who each item/ability/person/animal went to and I then transferred each thing to other Lists Of Stuff.

“Your wife,” I read.  “Elizabeth.”

“I’m leaving her to,” he trailed off, tapping his chin as he considered his options.  “You, Kee.”

“You can’t give Kee your wife!” another boy protested, one who had already received three of the dead boy’s children.  “That’d make her gay!”

“Kee can be gay if she wants to be,” the dead boy pointed out.

“Yeah,” the boy agreed, “but she’s already got a husband.”

“She can have a husband and a wife,” God declared.  “It’s called being bisexual.  It’s allowed.  Plus I’m God, so that makes it double allowed.”

And that was how I ended up receiving everyone’s wives in their wills, and ended up married to my original husband, Lizard, and my four wives, Elizabeth, Lizzy, Eliza, and Shark Tooth (there was a theme that God had declared we had to follow in naming our spouses, a declaration which came after one of the boys had already married Shark Tooth).  I had no children of my own, but had eventually received dozens in wills, as I ultimately ended up as the last person left in after-camp.

And yeah.  Life and Death and God was definitely a fun time, and I feel like we’ll be playing it again in after-camp tomorrow.  It felt a little like dnd, tbh, with God being the dungeon master, and I would definitely recommend it to anyone wanting to spice up their Game of Life.  You could probably add in a drinking game aspect if you’re not playing with small children, or make like God Cards or something for people to pull from if no one wants to be God.

[boatsthatfly]

an old Soviet “Walking Excavator”

[punchesco]

ancient but wise mechancobeast

[did-you-know]

Because most of us spend the majority of our time indoors, NASA conducted a Clean Air Study to determine which common houseplants are the best for filtering harmful toxins like ammonia and formaldehyde from the air.  

**Please note: Several of these plants are known to be toxic to cats, dogs and other pets. If you are a pet owner, please do check the toxicity of plants before introducing them to your home.**

Source Source 2

[twyxted-mind]

@orchidbreezefc

[yipyap]

@raveneesimo

[fortooate]

i am so fuking happy about luigi tennis

[car0den]

does Luigi have a big dick I can’t tell

[fortooate]

that’s the beauty part

some rough work reveals that luigi may be close to four inches flaccid, although this is a) simply one interpretation of which way his dick is resting, b) therefore is merely an educated guess as to length, c) does not account for any level of partial erection, & d) reveals little to nothing about his erect measurement

what we do know, however, is that luigi has a dick. and that? that’s great.

[ordenna-deactivated20181024]

mark I’m coming to confiscate your computer

[velmadinkleygothedit]

don’t censor him

[toxicmp3]

first of all. luigi has cankles, second of all, what razor does he use because those gams are SLEEK

[uryyybel-deactivated20190320]

Why are you all like this

[artemis-entreri]

Rations for various RPG Races

[[ Source. Original creator: wats6831. Additional information and images linked under each one. Love this project? Support it here! ]]

Universal:

Homemade artisan herb bread, home grown and dried apples and prunes, uncured beef sausage, munster cheese. Made a small bag from cheesecloth and tied it closed.

Discussion thread here.

Human: 

Waterdhavian oat loaf (handmade irish soda bread, fresh smoked ham shank, “dessert” pear, Corm Orp “mountain” bleu cheese served on butternut squash, imported Saerloon broccoflower (Romanesco), mixed garden vegetables (carrots and radishes), Misty Forest chestnuts.

More images here. Discussion thread here. 

Dwarf:

Garlic chicken livers, smoked and peppered cheese, spiced pork sausages, hard tack, dried vegetables, dried wild mushrooms.

Discussion thread here.

Elf:

Top left to right: Evereskan Honey Comb, Elven Travel Bread (Amaretto Liquer Cake with custom swirls), Lurien Spring Cheese (goat cheese with garlic, salt, spices and shallots), Delimbyr Vale Smoked Silverfin (Salmon), Honey Spiced Lichen (Kale Chips), and Silverwood Pine Nuts.

Discussion thread here.

Halfling:

From upper left: “Honeytack” Hard tack honey cakes, beef sausage, pork sausage mini links, mini whole wheat toast, cranberry cheddar cheese mini wedge, mini pickles, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, lower right is my homemade “travel cake” muesli with raisins, golden prunes, honey, eggs and cream.

Discussion thread here.

Half-Orc:

Wrapped in cheesecloth and tied in burlap package. Forest strider drumsticks, molasses sweet wheat bread “black strap”, aged Munster, hard boiled eggs, mixed wild nuts.

Discussion thread here.

Orc:

Orcs aren’t known for their great cuisine. Orcs prefer foods that are readily available (whatever can be had by raiding), and portable with little preparation, though they have a few racial delicacies. Toughs strips of lean meat, bones scavenged from recent kills, and dark coarse bread make up the bulk of common orc rations.Fire roasted rothe femur (marrow is a rare treat) [beef femur], Strips of dried meat (of unknown origin) [homemade goose jerky], foraged nuts, only edible by orcs….nut cracker tusks [brazil nuts], coarse black bread, made with whatever grains can be pillaged [black sesame bread], Pungent peppers [Habanero peppers stuffed with smoked fish and olives].

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Gnome:

Pan fried Delimbyr smelt, spiced goat cheese (paprika crusted hand pressed Fontina), Gnome shortbread (savory pistachio), glass travel jar filled with Secomber Red (wine), hard boiled quail eggs packed in rolled oats (to keep safe), dried figs from Calimshan, and Southwood smoked goat sausage (blood sausage).

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Duergar (gray dwarves):

The Duergar (gray dwarves) are the hated subterranean cousins of the surface dwelling Shield dwarves. Vast Duergar kingdoms exist in the Underdark beneath Toril’s surface. Duergar are known for their foul tempers, penchant for cruelty, grim and bitter dispositions. Their food is as coarse and uncouth as they are. Clockwise from top left: Sour Deep rothé pepper cheese (Limburger), boiled Deep rothé kidney (whole beef kidney), foraged roots and tubers; skirret and Fellroot (ginger and turmeric roots), contorted strangler fungus (Enoki mushrooms), onion & mushroom gravy hand pies (Morel mushroom with shallot and dill in cream sauce).

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Lizardfolk (This is a MEAL/feast and not a travel ration):

Lizardfolk are known to be omnivores, forage for a surprising variety of foods found within the confines of their marshy environs, in this case the Lizard Marsh near Daggerford. Fresh caught boiled Delimbyr Crayfish on wild chives, coastal carrageen moss entrapping estuary brine shrimp (irish moss, dried brine shrimp), Brackish-Berries (blackberries), Blackened Dart-Frog legs (frog legs) on spring sprouts (clover sprouts), roasted bog bugs on a stick!

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Drow (This is a MEAL/Party Fare and not a travel ration):

From top left: Menzoberranzan black truffle rothe cheese (Black Knight Tilsit), Donigarten Moss Snails (Escargot in shallot butter sauce), Blind cave fish caviar in mushroom caps (Lumpfish caviar), faerzress-infused duck egg imported from the surface Realms (Century egg), Black velvet ear fungus (Auricularia Black Fungus Mushroom).

More images here. Discussion thread here.

Mind Flayer/Illithid (This is a MEAL/Party Fare and not a travel ration):

A Mind Flayer dwelling in the Underdark of the Forgotten Realms might celebrate a special event with a smorgasbord of illithid delicacies. Center: An extra large brain (former minotaur servant who did not go quietly) plated on tinged cerebrospinal fluid. Right: peeled kuo-toa eyeballs in serous fluid (with mithral eating pick) TOP RIGHT: green mushroom wine TOP: drow slave heart (tastes better than human) with savory sanguine sauce. All served amongst various potion bottles, scroll and alchemical vessel.

More images here. Discussion thread here. Some “making of” and reaction photos here. ]]

[spacetwinks]

[humansoflatecapitalism]

[tastefullyoffensive]

View this post on Instagram

Such grace.

[dropoutqueen]

me strolling into 2018

[hitchcomet]

[rpeeze]

Like, I’m still not sure why I clicked play on this… and I don’t know that this was something missing from my life… but I do feel somewhat more whole now.

[tatooineknights]

[distinguishedbaloney]

[ithelpstodream]

[kiwikiwiandkiwi]

[planetbass]

Visit Original Link

this is the most amazing cover i’ve ever heard

[moami]

This cover has it all: fantasically confusing yet badass band name, the well-loved instrumentals of the original, and a smooth voice bringing some fresh, chilling vibes to this timeless classic. 120/10, would enter the afterlife to the tune of this.