Tomadotomato

𝔩𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔬𝔞𝔯𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔬𝔫𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔴𝔥𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔰 𝔦𝔰 𝔰𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢

[grapevinekid]

just looked up if cigarettes have calories, how's your day going?

[grapevinekid]

at least we can be toxic together

[grapevinekid]

oh wow guess I'm back again

[grapevinekid]

day 18:

depends on what mood I'm in. fresh fruit and fast food. anything elaborate and homemade because I know my parents probably won't cook it again and I hate missing out on food.

[grapevinekid]

day 16:

can't remember exactly. late 2017 probably, although I had been developing habits long before that.

[grapevinekid]

day 15:

I'm vegetarian and at first it definitely helped me lose weight. back before I developed my ed or disordered habits or whatever. now it helps me restrict while tricking myself into believing it's just for the animals and global warming.

[owlmylove]

being a zillennial really just be wondering which is better, being present or connected? what’s worth more, an ugly laugh or a pretty picture? if i spend time with my friends and don’t post a story to prove it, did that mean more or less? by what value? is a sensation worth less than its image? how much of my life should i snap, stream, edit, airbrush, enhance? how much of myself should i show? do i do promos? aim for brand deals? join tik tok? sell nudes? is a private self an antique luxury or just an increasingly outdated construct? what’s the worth of a self not shown? 

[grapevinekid]

my cousin and i are buying flip phones this summer. it's just gonna be us, train rides, weed, cigarettes and nature. i think it's good to take a break.

[ethrelustful]

Reblog if your pro recovery. Whether you’re in it or not

[silver-hair-rainbow-eyes]

always. ALWAYS.

[t-h-i-n-wannabe]

If you’re not, please leave my blog

[grapevinekid]

ever since the twitter post about avocado tasting like d*ck i literally cannot eat it without having to gag

[grapevinekid]

day 14:

as of today it's 100 lbs and I have no idea when I'll reach it. I could lose enough in the next few weeks so I have it by August, or I could relapse and binge and be fat again and have it go up as a compromise to myself. who knows at this point.

[grapevinekid]

haha I'm back i just really want to lose some fucking weight

one meal a day idk exercise and stuff

I'm so tired of this

[grapevinekid]

day 13:

unhealthy. I tried it "normally" but was unsuccessful or didn't get results fast enough. it was one of the worst decisions I've ever made.

[grapevinekid]

day 12:

I don't eat meat (have been vegetarian since before my ed)

almost all fruits and vegetables are safe

egg whites (cooked ofc)

plant milk

tea and coffee

it honestly just depends on my mood. some days I'll eat an apple and hyperventilate and other days I can eat 5 bread rolls without feeling guilty. a lot of it is sporadic.

[grapevinekid]

i wanna try to recover and lose weight healthily

i gotta do this for my brother and my little cousin, i don't want to die before i see them grow up

i need to at least eat more than i am now

weight doesn't define me

i won't be happy like this

i gotta try

promise

[grapevinekid]

day 11:

don't have a specific one

[grapevinekid]

it's my birthday and it's midnight and I'm feeling so s*icidal

basically lost in my own thoughts when my friend i haven't talked to in years fucking congratulates me and it blew my mind that she even thought of me

like what an asshole i am for not thinking about her or congratulating her but as soon as the clock strikes midnight she just,, thinks of me

i don't deserve any of it I'm horrible

[melonmemes]