the power of self-talk in the fight against self-sabotage (for binge-eaters and ppl who have never been skinny🫶)
disclaimer: this is not proana. this is for people who struggle with binge eating as a form of self-sabotage, emotional comfort, self harm, etc. overeating can cause just as much harm physically and mentally as undereating. please be safe. now, on with the show!
weight loss, but specifically extreme weight loss, equals change. change equals discomfort, so people tend to subconsciously avoid change. this is why starting to see progress on the scale or your body can trigger the urge to self-sabotage that progress and binge eat.
for people who have been big their whole lives, that fear is heightened by the fact that being thin is completely uncharted territory. by following through, youre entering a new world that youve never navigated before. your brain might get scared, say its much too big a mountain to climb, and tell you to give up. its easier to say fuck it because for most people, unhappiness is a comfort zone. if youre used to hating your body and wanting it to change, then actually *changing* it poses a very serious threat to your comfort and the lifestyle youre used to.
questions like: "what if i reach my goal and im still unhappy/unattractive?" "what if i dont look like myself?" "what if i reach my goal, cant sustain it, and then i gain it all back and humiliate myself?" can all make someone feel anxious about succeeding in their weight loss journey. and for people with overeating issues, this is a big trigger for binge episodes.
so how do you combat this instinct to self sabotage? well, im not a psychologist so take this with a grain of salt, but for me it helps to soothe these subconscious fears and train the brain to fight these urges. self-talk and thought-correction play a HUGE role in rewiring the pathways in your brain that lead you to bingeing. truly, practice and consistency are the only things that are going to cause a big change, so stick with it !
correcting problematic thoughts *immediately* when they form is key to preventing problematic behavior in the future, and that starts with being able to identify those thoughts. the moment you catch yourself thinking about food, cut yourself off with a correction. maybe even think about food on purpose a few times to practice recognizing and correcting it.
for example, if you just ate an hour ago, chances are youre not actually hungry yet. tell yourself that as soon as you realize youre thinking about food. i like to tell myself "i dont need to eat, and im not gonna sabotage myself by eating that." by acknowledging it and calling it what it is--literally an attack, by my brain, on my own progress--i immediately attach a sense of accountability to the actions that follow. there's no deniability. its no longer a passive choice. theres no mindless eating or "i wasnt thinking about it." if i eat after acknowledging the act of eating as self-sabotage, then that is me *actively* choosing self-sabotage over self-control. accountability alone can change a lot if you let it.
what i tell myself changes depending on the situation, but i find that repeating some of these phrases throughout the day helps to fight urges in general, and certain ones help for specific cravings and situations.
below are some examples of things i tell myself that have helped me fight the urge to self sabotage. they dont all have to be true when you first say them, the point is training your brain to think a certain way. it may feel unnatural at first, but the more you say them the more natural it becomes, until eventually it becomes apart of the way you actually think and you dont have to work so hard at it. remember: consistency. is. key.
okay ill stop blabbing! here:
•i allow myself to be thin.
•i accept the change that comes with losing weight.
•i am ready to see myself differently and cope with any complicated feelings that may come with it.
•i am prepared for my body to change.
•i will deal with my wardrobe when the time comes, and im not afraid of dressing differently for my new body.
•i will adjust to my new dietary needs and appetite when i reach my goal weight. i will not always be hungry; eating less will be my new normal, and i will be okay.
•i am not afraid of being hungry.
•food does not comfort me, nor does it solve my problems or make me feel better.
•i am ready to navigate a life that looks different to the one im living now.
•i am not afraid of reaching my goal. if i do feel afraid, i am confident in my ability to work through difficult feelings and continue towards my goal.
•im not going to sabotage myself by eating that.
•i accept that people will perceive me differently, and i am ready to navigate that change.
•i am prepared to receive comments about my weight loss.
•i am not afraid of getting what i want.
•i believe i deserve what i want, and im dedicated to working towards getting it.
•i am capable of adapting to new routines and habits.
•fear is not a reason to give up, and i will continue to work even if the possibility of change makes me uneasy.
•i am prepared to face the future, even though i do not know what it looks like.
•i allow myself to make mistakes, and i will not use them as an excuse to quit.
•my long-term satisfaction is more important than what i want in this moment.
•i am in control of my actions and i am capable of resisting the urge to binge.
•i allow myself to have the body i desire.
•i allow myself to change.
•i allow my life to look different and i am not afraid to see a new person in the mirror.
•i am excited to reach my goal, and prepared to navigate any changes that come with it.
•i am ready to meet and introduce others to the new me.
