Among Alan's things he could bring with him to the expedition, Ruby has hidden a little silver locket with a photograph of herself, Alan, and Leona, smiling and embracing
Random asks are love incarnate!
Several days pass after landing on the shores of the Continent, and Alan is surprised that he's alive. The slash across his throat has seared through flesh, and had he been a mere half inch more to the side, he is sure that he would not have survived. The front and side of his neck were sliced and he had been left to die - and he holds no bitterness over that fact. He knows not how many of this Expedition had been slain, but he did not want any of them waiting up for him in such a dangerous situation.
But he survived and could only follow clues based on prior planning and what he found along the way to guide him. His progress is slow, dizziness still finding him quickly, and he knows better than to push himself. So he rests, he eats, he drinks, he rebandages his injuries.
It is only after a few days of trekking, when he finds himself in the Gestral village and they've started tending to him that he finds the locket. Tucked into a roll of clothing he hadn't disturbed yet, the silver chain tumbles onto the bed, shining in the firelight just outside the room he's been given. He knows it is form Ruby - any other who might have given him such a gift is already on the Expedition - yet when he opens the locket and sees the photograph of Ruby, Leona, and himself...
His heart breaks. It shatters. Two people he has hated leaving behind. Leona had been so angry with him and had refused to go to the ceremony. It's only as the ship was beginning to push off from the dock that he saw his beloved, sweet daughter running to the harbor, shouting for him through tears that threatened to choke off her words. Ruby had to hold her back or Alan thinks she might have tried to climb aboard as well. Still, he had risked leaning over to take her hand and tell her he loves her before the ship was too far away and he had to fall back onto the deck.
Merde, he is glad he got to say goodbye, but keeping himself together for the sake of appearing to be an unshakeable leader had been terribly difficult. Now, though, he holds no such ridiculous standard for himself. Injured, apart from his team, alone, afraid, he does not stop himself from breaking. He blinks tears from his eyes so he can see the faces of his fiancée and daughter without them becoming distorted. They're beautiful. They are two that he is fighting all of this for, and who he will continue to fight for. Should he die, it will not be because he did not fight to his very final breath.
For them, he will continue.
