The Great Blogging Bake Off

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Episode Two – Florentines

Another week, another recipe (though this is, admittedly, a rerun).  I have attempted the second of GBBO’s technical challenges; the Florentine (which my computer keeps insisting is a proper noun, and I am tired of arguing with it, so it’s a proper noun now.  Show some respect)

For this particular recipe, the bakers had 1 hour and 15 minutes to produce 18 identical “lacy biscuit[s] with an even spread of fruit and nuts topped with tempered chocolate and a perfect zigzag.”  Well and so. Let’s see how I do.

The first challenge was, as I’ve mentioned before, the ingredients.  Golden syrup isn’t something I was able to easily find in my local stores, nor was candied peel.  Both were ingredients for which I ended up turning to the beloved Internet and her infinite wares.  Then there was the question of what type of candied peel to get, as there are plenty of varieties, and the recipe simply calls for “peel.”  Lemon?  Orange? Jordan? Mixed?

In the end, I opted for mixed peel (based, among other things, on available package size), and proceeded to mix some of my FAVORITE dough I have ever had the pleasure of cooking.  I will admit that starting with the syrup feels a bit like cheating, but once everything comes together it’s just this soft squishy (ok, also slightly plastic-looking, but in a good way, honest) ball of stuff that stirs and portions like a dream.

It is not, however a large ball.  Martha even mentions in the show that there’s “not much mixture” and she’s absolutely right; it’s easy to think that it’s not going to stretch to 18 Florentines, and if I was doing this without experience, to a time deadline, and to Mary and Paul’s exacting standards, I would be panicking just a bit.  However, Mary’s portioning direction (1 tsp per biscuit) is just DEAD on in a really satisfying way that recipes almost never are.  Plus, with the loads-of-fun dough, you can easily re-portion as needed.  One thing I will suggest is perhaps smooshing them down ever so slightly.  Richard won with his good-sized biscuits, and I suspect that in comparison, mine were a bit on the smallish side.

However, when the first tray came out, readers, can I just tell you? They looked PERFECT; they were golden, they were lacy, they were crisp.  They could make even Paul Hollywood weep.

And then the second tray came out. 

And the third.

Yeah. Consistency’s a bitch.

What to do, but move on to the chocolate?  After all, how hard can it be? (another BBC Easter egg for you there).

Well, the answer, as you may already suspect, is VERY hard.  The GBBO bakers all make it look easy (and incidentally, much cleaner than I found it to be), but I am here to tell you; it is not.  Half of my Florentines ended up getting chocolated with chocolate that was too cold, then I over-warmed it and ended up with chocolate that was too hot and dripped through all those nice Florentine holes.

So needless to say, the 8ish Florentines I ended up with (out of what was SUPPOSED to be 18 identical biscuits, mind you) did not end up getting trotted out to the office the next day to show off my baking prowess.  They didn’t even end up getting eaten at home, because you know what?  Candied peel is UTTERLY DISGUSTING.  Cannot overstate this enough.  Just appallingly bad.  Aggressively saccharine sweet and unpleasantly chewy, and does NOT go well with caramel or with chocolate.  Imagine adding a bunch of sugar to desiccated gummy bears (and not the good Haribo kind; gas station gummy bears) and then tossing them in with chewy crunchy caramel and dark chocolate.  They are like Muddy Bears from hell.

So, what have we learned, really? Well, if nothing else, I can add to Jordan’s observation to Sue.  What can you do to de-stress? “Yeah – bake properly.”  And bin the candied peel.

  Real Life Time: ~2 hrs

Real Life Result: Ian (11th out of 11).  Wildly uneven, did not get the full 18, and my chocolate was somehow both too hot AND too cold (now that takes talent).

Recipe: https://www.bbc.com/food/recipes/marys_florentines_49833

Behind the Scenes

Guys, I even ended up dropping one of the six good ones.  All those nice lacy edges snap off real quick when they meet the cold hard fact of tile floors.

It had started out so promising…

Programming Notes

I used both silpat AND parchment paper on this bake, and honestly I think either one would do just dandy.  My parchment paper batch did come out much better than my silpat batch, but there were so many factors on that (smaller batch, should have had shorter cooking time, different pans, sitting unevenly in the oven, and so on), I really don’t think the baking surface had anything to do with it.

I also subbed out the demerara sugar for the raw turbinado sugar I had lying around – seemed to do the trick just fine.

Last but not least (and I cannot overstate this enough), candied peel is just disgusting.  I’m strongly considering trying these again and subbing out some of these ingredients with things that actually taste GOOD, and may actually complement the caramel-y flavor and crisp, lacy, texture.  Really wondering if I can get pretzels or potato chips to work, along with maybe some butterscotch chips.  I will keep everyone posted, but let's be honest. Not even Kirby is interested.

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Commercial Break

Good news, bad news, fellow bakers.

Good news is that I have news on florentines to share with you all!

The bad news is that the day AFTER my baking escapades (my normal writing day), I came down with a nasty cold.  Between that and the day job, I am not my normal, pithy, anecdote-slinging self, and am just not up to writing these up tonight.  So the florentine debrief will have to wait.

Forgive me - next week, florentines!

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Bonus Episode – Crème Brûlée

Welcome back dear readers (by which I really mean, those of you my mother has convinced to read her daughter’s blog...for those few of you who do not know my mother, no I am not kidding).

Well, this week I am sorry to say that I am again straying from brief.  Florentines WILL be making an appearance shortly, I promise.  However, golden syrup and candied peel, while readily available on a quick run to the shops in the U.K., it turns out are NOT readily available in the grocery stores of the US (at least not the few I've tired thus far). So again, we will be improvising with something else that, while not technically a GBBO technical challenge, DOES indeed make an appearance in Netflix's version of Series 3.

This week I am attempting...drumroll please...

Crème brûlée.

That's right folks; I'm setting shit on fire ON PURPOSE.

A task which proves extra challenging when one does not own a brûlée torch.  So again, this is a bake that I attempted in multiple rounds.  Essentially, Round One was to confirm that I can, indeed, make crème brûlée and not crème brû-lake (bless your heart forever Sue for coining that one), or scrambled egg.  I figured, if I could manage THAT, then I could consider investing in an actual torch, OR I could research alternative techniques.

And, let me tell you, alternative techniques are AWFUL.  I investigated a number of options, and none of them were appealing.  One (optimistic) article said you could use a lighter to try and caramelize your sugar, but it a) takes forever, and b) has uneven results.  MOST online resources recommend using some combination of a broiler and an ice bath, which is dauting to say the least.  It’s worth mentioning that the Great British Bake Off bakers were not allowed to use a torch, which just supports my conviction that clearly they are superior bakers to me.

As it turns out, my preferred method is to strike a bargain with my very patient and very supportive live-in blog photographer and taste tester.  If I could produce that perfect wobble, then I could get a very special present.  And, lest there be any doubt, let me assure you that I spent pretty much this entire bake doing the Sandy wobble. 

Just as an extra note here, I could just as easily have bought myself a torch, but I couldn’t get over the mental hurdle of buying myself a one-off tool like a brûlée torch.  It just feels extra decadent to invest in something used (at least by me) exclusively for what already is a pretty decadent dessert.  But if someone gets it FOR me (even under slight duress), clearly that’s ok.

Well, I am happy to say that I am now the proud owner of a real-live torch, and the proud maker of at least two batches of successful crème brûlée!!

Surprisingly, this really wasn’t hard at all.  I had great results both times, and a lot of fun both times (when you’re not burning things, you’re playing with egg yolks, which is also incredibly fun, in a 6-year-old, finger-painting, salmonella-oblivious kind of way).

In short – highly recommend trying this out.  It’s easier than you think, pretty fast overall, and VERY tasty!

Real Life Time: ~40 minutes (including bake time) + 3 hours to chill (my bake time ended up being a hair longer than the recipe called for; gotta be on the lookout for just the right wobble)

Real Life Result: Well, it’s hard to rate compared to our intrepid bakers because they added extra bits to theirs, while I went classic and boring. But I succeeded in classic and boring, so there!

Recipe: https://www.fromachefskitchen.com/classic-creme-brulee-two/

  Behind the Scenes

Still with me?  For those brave few, I have a few extra notes in store!  This particular recipe came with the INCREDIBLY helpful tip to put a paper towel under your ramekins to keep them from sliding around.  Worked GREAT, and didn’t cause any problems at all.

I also came up with a little life hack of my own.  This recipe calls for boiling water to be added to the baking pan for the bain marie  before going in the oven.  So I wasn’t just flying blind (and to avoid getting water in the ramekins, which would ruin the custard), I did a test run first; I filled my baking pan from the faucet with empty ramekins in place to gauge how much water I would need, then poured that water into my pot to boil.  That way, when the time came to add the water, I was in no danger of overfilling and potentially brûlée-ing more than just the crème.

OK, that was admittedly lame. My apologies to those brave view.  Cat pic below to make up for it.

Dare I say, it was crème brû-LAME!

...forgive me.

Programming Notes

One thing I’ve consistently read is that the type of sugar used for the topping is crucial.  For this particular bake, I went with raw sugar (much to Binx’s delight, as it came in individual packets for him to play with).

However, in future renditions (of which I hope there will be many – YUM) I’m going to try experimenting with caster sugar and who knows what else!!  I will keep you posted, oh my brainwashed and guilted following.

  Thanks, Mom.

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Bonus Episode – Macarons

Welcome bakers and readers!

So this Easter weekend, I decided to take on a non-technical challenge (I would say for a change of pace, but after only post, I don’t really have a pace yet, so let’s say for a setting of pace).  I plan on doing this from time-to-time; throwing out my normal GBBO play book and trying on some other bake that I wouldn’t normally try or, in this case, that I’ve always wanted to try.

This weekend, it was macarons.  And let me just say, they are SO MUCH HARDER than they look.

Read on to see if I’ve “cracked it”, or just end up with cracked tops…

If you, dear reader, are anything like me, you strive for a humble, gracious attitude that allows for failure on even basic recipes, but ESPECIALLY on those that are universally acknowledged to be something of a challenge.  However, if you are even MORE like me, you ALSO have a deep and abiding (but obviously secret, because otherwise how can you be humble?) conviction that you are, in reality, something of a dessert savant, to whom even the most challenging recipes come easily.

What can I say?  Much like many baked treats, I have layers.

Well, as it turns out, macarons cut through all those layers like a hot knife through butter, leaving you with only a sad, deflated layer of deeply misshapen, bulging, unfortunate cookies.  I even took two tries at this recipe, and managed to fail twice.

Batch 1

In retrospect, this was by far the better result of the two, though I have to apologize that I don’t have more pictures.  They were going to be a surprise for my in-house photographer, so he wasn’t around to catch the priceless moments, like me overfilling my pastry bag to very messy results, or me sieving my flour and sugar to equally messy (and so much more pervasive) results.

As you can see, I had some slight cracks on several of the macarons from this batch, and I didn’t have a foot on each one (the rough circular base around the bottom of the cookies that separates them from the smooth top, and I BELIEVE helps keep them from spreading, but could be wrong on that one).  They were a little too delicate, but the taste was decent (Kirby was an especially big fan).

The batter was a little runny, so my assumption was that I had fouled up my meringue; either didn’t whip my egg yolks enough initially, or over-folded when incorporating my dry ingredients.  Either way, I thought it would be a relatively easy fix for next time…

Batch 2

My second attempt was anxiously awaited by all (especially Kirby, who may have found his second favorite baked good after vanilla cupcakes).  To try to correct for errors from the first batch, I…

Prepared the messier aspects (sieving already annoying confectioner’s sugar and filling what ended up being slightly too-small pastry bags) with more forethought.  I would especially recommend UNDER-filling your pastry bag

Let my meringue whip for a little longer

Folded less for a much thicker batter

I was also talked into adding food coloring so they could be a nice festive treat for the afternoon’s family Easter get-together.  So the color is not something going horribly wrong.  Well. MORE horribly wrong.  But, spoiler alert, they did NOT make it to Easter lunch.

Yeah. Thicker batter?  NOT the way to go, as it turns out.  Really, spectacularly not the way to go.  Not only did they never flatten out, and not only did extra batter seep out UNDER the foot (incidentally, I didn’t even know this was a possibility), I somehow managed to make GOOEY macarons (think slightly overdone custard level of goo).  Nice thin shell on the outside, slightly browned base that separated beautifully from the parchment paper, all obscuring a smooshy teal center.  Like something a special effects department would come up with for some extra-terrestrial butterfly’s eggs.

These were not even edible.  They ended up binned faster than Ian’s Baked Alaska.

So. Macarons – 2.  Erin – 0.

Next time, macarons…next time…

  Real Life Time: Hard to say – never got to the frosting stage, so never actually completed the recipe

Real Life Result: Batch 1 – 8th out of 12, let’s say?  Batch 2…hailing a cab home from the tent, for sure.

Recipe: https://www.aheadofthyme.com/2017/02/classic-french-macaron-with-vanilla-buttercream-filling/

Programming Notes

When I try once again to scale the smooth (uncracked) sides of Mount Macaron, I will be trying a new recipe.  Nothing against Ahead of Thyme, but my pride forces me to hope (likely in vain, I admit) that it might have been at least partially the fault of the recipe.

I would also urge anyone trying ANY recipe involving meringue to think long and hard on the prospect if they don’t have a stand mixer.  My stand mixer is my single favorite, most useful possession (with the possible exception of my snow blower, which has the disadvantage of not producing anything remotely appetizing).  And despite the fact that it clearly didn’t turn out for me, I do have a few more meringue tips.  Room-temperature egg yolks combined with a chilled bowl and whisk yield relatively easy meringue, even if it all goes to hell once you add the almond flour…

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Episode One - Mary Berry's Cherry Cake

Welcome bakers! (or, perhaps more accurately, my few family members and fewer friends who may…or may not…actually read this…)

Well, I’ve done it.  I’ve completed my first technical challenge.  Though, to be fair, it was not, technically, that much of a challenge.  In the spirit of honesty, I remind you again; I am using the complete recipe and not working against the clock.  I’ve also actually made this particular recipe once before – it was my inspiration to take on this task, as a matter of fact.  But!  That is neither here nor there.  As Sue tells us, what we’re looking for with this bake is “a golden brown sponge, an even distribution of cherries, and a thick coating of lemon icing.”

So…

Was it over (or under) baked?

Did my cherries all sink to the bottom?

Was the icing too runny or too thick?

Are the GBBO bakers REALLY that good?

It is REALLY that hard?

Only one way to find out…

Is it really that hard?  In short, yes.  The recipe itself is actually quite simple, but the idea of executing this within the time the bakers were given makes my hair stand on end.  The bakers of GBBO had 2 hours to achieve this bake, and the actual recipe (link below) calls for a prep time of less than 30 minutes, with a bake time between 30 minutes and 1 hour.

I am here to tell you that a prep time of less than 30 minutes is incredibly optimistic.  It took me 10-15 minutes just to quarter my cherries, though I arguably spent much more time working on even cherry pieces than the bakers were concerned with.  But nevertheless, cutting up glacé cherries? IS AWFUL.  They are incredibly sticky and usually smooshed so they don’t quarter nicely and did I mention that they stick to EVERYTHING?  Knife, cutting board, sieve, bowl. EVERYTHING.  They are admittedly much better after a good rinse and a nice flour coat (necessary to keep them from sinking in the batter), but still.  Not my favorite ingredient, to be sure.

Also, did I say batter?  Forgive me; what I actually meant was incredibly thick, incredibly sticky cake DOUGH.  It is possible I suppose that I was doing something wrong, but BOTH times I’ve made this cake, the batter has been thick and unruly.  Martha even comments during the challenge that “it’s quite a thick mixture.”  Yes, it keeps the cherries from sinking, but it ALSO is a real pain to get into the pan and to get to spread evenly.

This is where my complaining stops, however.  The rest of the recipe, as mentioned, is quite simple and easy to follow.  Mary talks throughout the show (and in the Masterclass episodes, because I imagine if you are nerdy and committed enough to read a blog from a nobody wannabe baker attempting these recipes, you’ve ALSO watched the Masterclass) about her fondness for ‘all in one’ recipes (not what she calls them, but I can’t recall what she calls them), in which all the recipes are simply combined in a single bowl.  This is one of those, and once those damn cherries are quartered, the rest is smooth sailing.

Real Life Time: 1 hrs 20 minutes + cooling time + ½ hour to prepare icing and decorate

Real Life Result: Diana (5th out of 12).  A touch overbaked, with a bit too much icing, but a nice, even distribution of cherries, a good flavor, and a nice, polished look.

Recipe: https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/marys_cherry_cake_17869

  Behind the Scenes

A few eagle-eyed viewers (well…readers…viewing pictures…whatever) may have noticed that my cake is squared off at the edges, whereas Mary’s recipe is rounded.  The explanation is quite simple; Mary Berry’s kitchen presumably has everything you could ever possibly dream of for baking, including a savarin mould AND a bundt tin.  I, on the other hand, have an angel food cake pan and an intrepid spirit.  Which, all things considered, probably turned out to be a good thing given that I might’ve left mine in the oven a hair too long…

This actually leads me into quite a good point, however.  Don’t let yourself be daunted if you don’t have the exact equipment one of these recipes calls for.  Some things shouldn’t be fudged (for example, I would not suggest the following method for, say, macarons), but for this particular recipe, bashing the hell out of your sliced almonds with a giant rolling pin (as I did the first time I made this cake) ground them up just as nicely as running them through the mini-food processor I had procured for my second go-round.  I WOULD however strongly recommend using fresh lemon.  I did NOT the first time, and did the second time, and it made all the difference.  It also uses the entire lemon AND makes your house smell EVEN MORE amazing, so there’s really no good excuse not to.

Programming Notes

Depending on how big your lemon is, you may want/need to add more confectioner’s sugar to your icing to get the desired thickness.  It really is better if it just oozes nicely over everything, so start with the prescribed about and then add as necessary for taste and consistency (really, a life pro tip for ALL frostings/icings, if you ask me).

I would also suggest using almonds without the skins (unlike me, who was lured by the conveniently sized packaging) as they just make everything look a bit neater.

Thanks so much for reading!  Tatty-bye!

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Pilot

Like many of us, last year I discovered the life-affirming delight that is The Great British Bake Off (also known as The Great British Baking Show, to those of us state-side Netflix subscribers).   And, like many of us, I was immediately hooked by this kinder, gentler reality-based food competition show, where the contestants are actually home bakers (like me!) instead of professionals, and where they are actually NICE to each other instead of catty and competitive (…like me…?...I hope…?).  However, UNLIKE many of us, this show does not make me want to eat (well, doesn’t JUST make me want to eat), it makes me want to BAKE.

Every year at the holidays I turn into Betty Crocker (voluntarily, mind you), and produce what I always used to consider an impressive amount and array of cookies, with the occasional extra thrown in (pies, cakes, and minor confections).  But GBBO has not only renewed my faith in humanity, it has driven me to strive for more. Cookies and the occasional cupcake will no longer satisfy; I want a nice, even crumb, a good snap/color/crust, no soggy bottoms, a good bake.  My life’s ambition is now to make laminated dough. So starting now (well, ish now, not this SECOND now because I don’t have all the ingredients and I have a deadline, but soon now), I have set myself a challenge.  A technical challenge, if you will.  I am going to work through all of the technical challenges from The Great British Bake Off, starting with Netflix’s version of Season One, and working my way forward.  Along the way, there will be triumphs (I hope, hidden pitfalls (I’m sure), a fair amount of cat hair (I’m sorry), and above all, laminated dough.

A few caveats before we get started.  First off, if all those lovely souls on GBBO can do what they do and still be considered “amateur” bakers, then I’m not sure what that makes me. What’s less experienced and capable than an amateur? A dilettante…a dabbler…pretending?  An imaginary baker.  I will persevere, but I will ALSO cheat and not set myself a) time deadlines, or b) recipe limitations.  In fact, the biggest challenge I will likely face (aside from my own inexperience and hubris) will be an overly curious cat named Binx and an overly underfoot dog named Kirby.  I will also not be able to post every week (stupid life, stupid adulting), but have a personal goal to do at least one challenge a month (hopefully more, but let’s see how this goes, shall we?).  I’m sure I’ll come up with more excuses as we go, but for now, let’s roll up our sleeves, get out the aprons, dust the counter with flour, and get started.

On your marks...

Get set...

BAKE.