don’t you just love how mental disorders are basically buy one get seven free
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don’t you just love how mental disorders are basically buy one get seven free
one of the worst feelings ever is being in your own house and feeling like you need to go home
Um, hello? June 2018? Why am I not skinny yet?
anytime someone checks in w/ me to make sure I’m ok, half of me is really grateful and the other half is berating myself for being so dramatic that a separate physical entity had to stop the process of their life just to make sure my bricks were still up in a wall
You didn’t suffer all day long to binge at night. You don’t want this.
Honestly, not eating isn’t the hard part for me. It’s the waiting. Every moment of the day I just want it to be over: so I can go to sleep, wake up, and get back on the scale, so it can tell me I’m one step closer.
it’s completely acceptable to stay alive for tiny reasons. because you want to hear your favorite song one more time. because your dog will miss you if you leave. because the moon is just too pretty to never see again. because you haven’t seen the next season of a really good tv show. because you want to see the christmas lights this year. if you’re alive, you’re doing enough. if you’re surviving, i’m proud of you.
how isn’t hiding in the bathroom a good coping mechanism
i don’t think people understand how much self hate someone has to feel to deny a basic human need as eating
Curbing Cravings!
🌻 Water. Learn to love it. It will solve your appetite issues like none else. If you feel the need to binge/eat, ask yourself: Have you had enough water today? I usually aim for 4 liters a day, but normally people should drink at least 2 liters a day. First, chug a glass of ice cold water and then sip on warmer/room temp water to keep you full. Your body will also burn calories warming the cold water, so that’s a plus. Feel free to garnish your water intake with lemon, lime, cucumber, and mint. All are great for you! 🌻 Identify your binge patterns. Try to find when you falter most. Remaining conscious about it the entire time duration is a big help in preventing snacking. 🌻 Count backwards from your current weight to your goal weight. For each number, list a reason you want to change yourself. By the time you finish, you’ll probably find your hunger has subsided. 🌻 Basically keep yourself occupied. (Listed below.) 🌻 Do a new exercise or yoga position. Work on perfecting that for at least 30 minutes. 🌻 Paint/do your nails. 🌻 Make a cup of tea, no sugar or dairy.(Peppermint/green tea help curb cravings.) Really savour the smell, the warmth. Take your time enjoying it. 🌻 Take a cold shower. Cold showers burn calories. 🌻 While you shower, shave, exfoliate, wash your face. The longer you’re in there, the more calories you burn. 🌻 Play with your pet. Take them on a walk. 🌻 Clean. Your room, the living room, bathroom, kitchen, anywhere. Really get in there and scrub. Cleaning burns calories. 🌻 Watch a new show on Netflix. For every episode, do 2x the episode number of sit ups and pushups to stay active. 🌻 Do an hour of silent meditation. I recommend earphones and a background soundtrack of Tibetan Singing Bowls. 🌻 Make art if that’s your thing. 🌻 Read 50 pages of a new book. Drink water/tea while doing so. 🌻 If it’s sunny where you are, sunbathe and listen to music or a podcast. I recommend Welcome to Night Vale. 🌻 Call your grandma. See how she has been. Give her your time. 🌻 Go for a drive. Bring a friend. 🌻 Still hungry? Chew on ice. It helps kill cravings by tricking your stomach. 🌻 Re-do your hair and makeup. 🌻 Take a nap. 🌻 Go online and watch lecture segments from the open courses Yale offers. 🌻 Plan your next 5 meals. 🌻 Plan your next fasting period. 🌻 Write/start a journal. 🌻 Look at thinspo, reblog it, save favorites, etc. 🌻 Make one of these lists. 🌻 Look at some nature scenery in your life (yard, horizon, favorite hiking spot) and take as long as you need to take the entire view in. Breathe in the air, capture the colors, remember the sounds. 🌻 Identify all of your problem areas. Record these. 🌻 Renew your goals.
i just want my eating disorder back. i miss being scared of food. i miss panicking over a slice of bread. i miss genuinely hating when i had to eat. i miss the dizziness. i miss my legs feeling like jelly. i miss my head spinning. i miss my slow heart rate. i miss feeling weak. i miss being 90 pounds. i miss my anorexia. 💫
I’m an all or nothing person
I’m either going to run 12km or not at all
I’m either going to starve or binge
I’m either going to sleep all day or not sleep at all
I’m either going to study until I can recite the text book or just wing it
There is no in betweens. I don’t have balance in my life. I don’t even know what it really means.
I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up.
🌸 “you look so thin” 🌸 🌸 “have you lost weight” 🌸 🌸 “that outfit looks so good on you"🌸 🌸 ” you’re so light"🌸 🌸 “you’re like a tiny fairy” 🌸 🌸 “you could be a model"🌸 🌸 "you’re body is hot” 🌸 🌸 “everything looks great on you"🌸 🌸 "you’re gorgeous"🌸 🌸 "you’re beautiful” 🌸 🌸 “you should come hang with us"🌸 🌸"you’re so confident"🌸 🌸 "I wish I looked like you"🌸 These 👏 are 👏 the 👏 things 👏 I 👏 want 👏 to 👏 hear 👏 when 👏 I’m 👏 skinny 👏 and 👏 beautiful
Someone: Wow you’re so easy to talk to! I feel like our personalities fit so well together!
Me: thanks i made this one special just for you