with peace

[greedywinter]

I don’t know what type of depression I’ve had for the last ten years but every 2-3 years I start to remember just how bad it is, how bad it can get and right now I don’t know anything about how I made it this far or how my mind plans to survive any of this

[greedywinter]

For so long I was frustrated trying to offer parts of myself that were fading away that I didn’t realize when it was finally all gone

I’m sorry that I have nothing left to give you all

I’m even more sorry that none of it was even worth anything

It really hurts.

[greedywinter]

Now that I know, I can never forget

[greedywinter]

…

And I am silent.

I am still.

I am still here.

…

Just a few moments. Without air.

I am stone.

Black, stone. Cracked, stone.

…

There is safety in peace, in quiet, in empty pieces of quiet.

[decayingbooks]

[greedywinter]

I cry and scream as the letters drown me out of my own voice

I peel the words off the ground

Each one heavier than the pounding in my head

I was never free, it was all a trick, it was so funny to everyone, I think

I drag each memory into the corner it belongs

I see red, I see trash, I see so much that I can’t look

It gets hotter and hotter until it’s gone, until it’s black and white

Finally, I am also gray

I can see but I don’t see anything, I don’t even know where to look

I can hear, but I don’t listen

I can breathe but my chest doesn’t move

I am here, exactly the way I was intended to be, gone

[greedywinter]

I’ve lost count at the number of cruel jokes

[wordfather]

i am aware of the problems. however. i would rather be comfy in my bed. good night.

[allloversbetray]

“At least I’m good in an emergency, I said, and you said: Sweetheart, you are an emergency.”

— Nicola Goldberg, from The Prettiest Girl in the Psych Ward (via lifeinpoetry)

[weusedtobegiants]

I want to go back to the beginning. We all do. I think: hurt won’t be there. But I’m wrong.

Gregory Orr, from Concerning The Book That Is The Body Of The Beloved

[jellomarshmallow]

[greedywinter]

I wish i could tell you the story and not be in it.

[greedywinter]

I’ve never been able to demonstrate good judgment. I have a sinking feeling that I’m showing love to people who don’t and won’t love me the same way. I keep doing it. I ignore what I know. And I make decisions I can’t take back.

[greedywinter]

Don’t worry

I’m not here anyways

[greedywinter]

You all are excused

[disc80s]

i thought my suicidal late teens were the hardest years of my life but nothing could’ve prepared me for my 20s waking up everyday with no purpose, feeling so lost, unable to keep up with friendships, watching everyone move on with relationships and careers and being unable to catch up. and I’m such a “life is not a race” type of person but damn I’m losing so hard rn

[decayingbooks]