?? Trapped in a peaceful oasis, part 1. ??
Tw: mentions of drugs/alcohol, mentions of sexual activity with minor mention of questionable consent, etc, not pg E/13. It's mostly just-- angst? Don't read if the subject of suicidal idolization disturbs you.
“I’m going to hibernate, Pearls. Do not disturb…”
“Of course, as you wish.” “As you command.”
Grey groaned softly, his back hitting the pile of clothes he used as a mattress roughly. Today had been long, impossibly long. Three speeches on three different colonies, some makeup studies--Stars he regrets dropping out more every day, and lastly, a dreadfully long evening dinner with the fam…followed by a burnout, his pretty little Tee in arm. Or…was that first?
‘Stars…he’d dumped me, hadn't he?’
“Can’t we do something more-- romantic, sometime? At your place, not the club--club ice, your. Place.” Tee had said, somewhere between Grey’s third line and his stumbling into the ‘family’ dining hall. “You never want to do anything but party, drown yourself in your shots, and whatever it is you huff and snort all day.”
“I gave some speeches!” Grey had rebutted, “Three of them.”
“They were great! People wept on the streets at my every breath. I’m not a fucking bum.” It’d probably come off as anger, maybe disgust, because Tee had quickly corrected himself, and it’d almost made Grey feel worse, the look in their eyes.
“I didn’t say that!” of course not.. “I just meant-- wouldn't it be nice if we could just hang out? Watch a movie on your couch, have a bakeable meal? Pizza?” They’d been hopeful then, serious about the request, more than likely. I’d ruined it. Probably with something stupid I said, like “Bitch, I’ve never had frozen food in my life.”
(“What?” Tee snapped, Grey winced, and somehow Tee was correcting himself, always for him… “What does that even mean, Grey? I’m being serious, don't you love me?” Of course, forever.)
That fight was the most confusing fight of my life. Can’t even remember all of it. Just the worst of it.
(“...Of course I do, baby, come on… I was just jokinggg, don't sweat it, I can get us pizza.” Tee had scoffed at it immediately, rolling his eyes as he scooted away from him. Neither said anything, but Grey’s eyes tracked Tee’s now.)
I just…want to sleep, for now.
( .... Grey continued quickly after that, his voice slurred as he crawled over to Tee, almost falling off the couch, in his desperation. Tee’s nose scrunched together in disgust, but he tried his best to hide it. Concern, always concerning. Grey smelled horrible, like Bo and tequila. When was the last time he’d even showered..? Did it matter? “Baby…come on, I promise. What can I do to make you feel better, Tee-Tee? Come onnn…!” again with that fucking nickname…)
My eyes feel so heavy. I can feel things wiggling against my gem. Why won't it just take me already?
( “I don't want to keep doing that-- spending the night, being with you until I feel better, not talking anything through.” “Baby…? Come on, what did I even do? Sure im a drunk, but it ain't nothin’ new.” Grey chuckled then, it sounded like a wheeze.)
Please… Sol, Sully, help me.
( “That’s the problem, Grey-- I feel like…I’m hurting you every time we do this. You just lie there…you cry afterwards. I feel like I don't know you at all.” “Baby, come on… I can't help it —I've been trying —”)
( “Why do you need to try?! Because I’m always just-- prying into your personal life and getting mad at you when you don't say anything?! Because this is just a situational thing?! Please, just fucking tell me something!”)
( “...I, I like being with you, Tee…what can I say here? I can't talk about it. Please.”)
(“Why not, Grey…you-- You know I won't use anything against you, right? I love you.”)
(.... “It’s not about you.”)
(“Is it about him, Soleil?” “... Don't bring him up, Tee.” “You know-- you’re allowed to…well. I wouldn't be…disgusted with you.” “Shut the hell up, Tee. You’re not his replacement.”)
(“Right. Of course not.” …. “Please go home, Tee. I need to lie down, I have to go eat with the others soon.” “You already did, Moonlight.”)
(“LOSE MY FUCKING NUMBER, YOU STUPID FUCKING PRICK. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU.” “Grey, I’m sorry, I was joking! I just wanted to see if it’d work!”)
(“ I. Don't. Care! What kinda asshole fucking does that?! Who says that with a straight face and feels good about themselves?!” “Grey--” “would you be fucking happy, genuinely happy if all you were to me is a fucking stand-in?! Well. FINE!!”)
(“That’s all you will ever be. Now leave.”)
(“ I just…thought it would bring you comfort. He’s the only thing that ever does, Grey… I’d corrupt if… if something bad happened to you. I really just thought-- I was being stupid, I’m sorry.”)
(“...It’s okay, Tee…heh. Heheheheee-- it’s okay, I promise. I’m sorry too.”)
(“Grey…” “Please don’t go…please.”)
