ꜱɪᴍᴏɴ ɢʜᴏꜱᴛ ʀɪʟᴇʏ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
{ᴀʀʀᴀɴɢᴇᴅ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ} "ᴘᴀʀᴛ 3"
ᴘᴀʀᴛ 1 , ᴘᴀʀᴛ 2
You jolt up screaming, face sweaty and hands shaky…
Another nightmare, another time your mind hitting the replay button to that night.
You start panting heavily as your heart feels like it’s going to escape from your chest, nothing makes sense to you, you feel nothing but fear and panic, and you do not even realize you were not breathing well.
“Breathe,” a voice comes out of nowhere, it breaks into the cloud of the intense feeling you’re experiencing now, you don’t even recognize who it is.
“Please don’t- please-,” you choke out, your mind is playing sick tricks with you, making you feel like you’re back to that night again, like the stalker is right in front of you, like the blade is shining in his grip.
“Y/n, breathe with me,” the voice replies urgently and firmly.
“Don’t kill me please- please don’t-,” you say as you put your hands over your ears and shut your eyes with full force, hoping that will even make this stop.
The voice says something but you can’t make it out, it’s blocked by your hands.
“Please please, please I’m begging you,” you cry out, repeating the exact same words you did while trying to save your life.
Then your ears barrier –your hands– gets removed, you don’t understand what’s happening, so you open your eyes panting in fear.
And there he was.
Simon was looking at you, his own eyes wide, reflecting panic and helplessness.
He has been here since you woke up, or… let’s say, since he found you asleep on the couch.
He still never leaves home whenever he leaves the base, no more pubs at night, no more escaping.
And it’s one of those regular nights where he stays like a protective shadow around you, not crowding you, but always watching.
So when he came out of the shower, and saw you asleep on the couch, he felt relief at seeing you relaxed and at peace.
So he gently covered you up with your blanket and sat on the ground.
He watched you as you slept, counting each eyelash, each breath you took.
He didn’t leave, he didn’t fall asleep, he just guarded you, just like how he always should have done.
And when he heard you whining in your sleep, his heartbeat started raising, and he shook you to wake up.
But you didn’t know any of this… you didn’t know he was with you the whole time.
“Y/n look at me, listen to me,” he says, his voice deep, as he tries to stop it from shaking, this wasn’t about his emotions, to him, it was about you and only you.
You reply with a whine as you try to put your hands over your ears, because seeing him now, makes you feel more confused, and it raises more sorrow in you.
Because to you, you know Simon feels guilty, you know he regrets every single second he stayed away from you that night instead of staying and protecting you.
You know that he is trying to show you, that if he could reverse time, if he hadn’t been coward enough to hide from you and from what you made him feel, you wouldn’t have been this hurt.
So he stops you from covering your ears, holding back your wrists firmly.
“No, none of that, focus on me.”
You shake your head, “It hurts,” you whimper out.
He nods, “I know, I swear to God I know, but please just focus on me.”
You continue crying, it’s very hard for you to gain control over your body when your whole nerves are screaming for danger ahead.
“I don’t want to die.”
You cry out, and that sentence pierced right through Simon’s heart.
His heart that is breaking at the sight of you like this, who’s wanting to just make you feel safe again, feel secure in your own mind.
He knows that there’s a long way to go, and considering what happened between you, it seems impossible.
But he can’t lose you, not when he almost did, not when he found you again.
“You’re not dying, I swear I’ll never let anyone harm you, just breathe in.”
He inhales, “and out,” he exhales.
Your body shakes in rejection of any help, but you try, that small aware part of your mind knows what’s happening, so you inhale slowly, shaken, cut off by crying hiccups, but you try.
“Good, very good, just like that, now out,” Simon exhales, demonstrating gently, a flicker of hope raises in his chest as he sees you trying.
You follow, and exhale, still not perfect, but you’re trying, Simon continues.
“Good girl, don’t stop, you’re doing great.”
He praises you gently, trying to convince you that there is no danger surrounding you, that you were protected, right here, right where he exists.
“I- s-,” you try to speak, but Simon cuts you off.
“Shhh… no, just breathe.”
The storm inside your head finally starting to cool down, still hiccuping, you stare at Simon.
And since that night, since everything, you felt a strange feeling as you stared at him, it bloomed in your chest like a cool bucket of water after being thirsty for decades.
It was comfort.
You felt your heart pace slowing down, your hands less shaky now, and you just stare at Simon.
Simon stares back, holding eye contact as he nods slowly.
“Yes, there you are.”
He says gently, he knows you’re calming down, and hell if that didn’t feel like one of his greatest achievements throughout his life.
Then slowly, and so delicately, he lifts his hand and guides yours towards your chest, pressing your palm right above your heart.
“You feel that? That’s you, alive, breathing, your heart beating…”
You just stare at him, even after the storm, even when your mind is still fragile, you’re stunned by the man in front of you.
The one who treated you like less than an afterthought, is now trying his best to make sure you’re okay.
Then he speaks again.
“You’re safe with me, and you always will be.”
You take a shuddering breath at that, it’s very hard for you to trust what he’s saying, but his tone, that look in his eyes, reveal that this man, is willing to put his words into actions and more.
And with the last shred of panic leaving you, your body felt weak, like someone just pressed the ‘turn off’ button, and you shut down.
Your body goes limp in Simon’s arms, but he holds you tight, making sure you won’t fall from the couch.
He stares at your face, now eyes closed, hair sticking to your sweaty forehead, tear trails over your cheeks, which are red too and so is your nose.
He puts an arm beneath your knees, and he lifts you, walking slowly through the dim hall as he makes his way to your room.
He makes his way in and he puts you down into your bed, your head leaning to the side as your hair fans over the pillow.
And he thinks to himself, ‘how can someone look so beautiful even in the hardest moments of their life?’
He covers you up again, just like before, and he sits on the edge of the bed, watching you sleep again.
Simon knows what you just gone through by heart, he carries more baggage that no normal human can endure.
But it doesn’t matter to him anymore, you’re what matters.
Because even when physical scars fade into another story of your life, the mental ones don’t fade in the same way.
The mental scars don’t fade, they come back, and the worst part is, you never know when, or in what form they will…
“Sleep angel…,” he says quietly, knowing for a fact, he doesn’t think he can let you sleep alone ever again.
