God, I hate this place.

This is General Knoxx speaking. If you have something important to say, then I'm all ears. If this is Admiral Mikey... I hate your guts. [Independent General Knoxx. Gif by phasel0ck.]

[xliihlith]

Visit Original Link

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

Every time we lie awake After every hit we take Every feeling that I get But I haven't missed you yet Every roommate kept awake By every sigh and scream we make All the feelings that I get But I still don't miss you yet

[alfilers]

general knoxx farmory

[ellextaco]

Visit Original Link

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

It's all so messed up and no one ever listens. Everyone's deranged. I'm just so fucked up and I'm never gonna change. I wanna lay it all to waste. They're always say this, say that; nothing that you want to. I don't wanna live that way -- no! Every chance they get they're always shoving me aside. It's never enough, no, it's never enough! No matter what I say. It's never enough, no, it's never enough. I'll never be what you want me to be. I'm D O N E.

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

Into the Nothing

Into the nothing Faded and weary I won't leave and let you fall behind Live for the dying Heaven hear me I know we can make it out alive

General Knoxx found her in the snow, blood smeared across her mangled form. Now wasn’t the time to make any dry remarks and for once, he was out of them. The subtle parting of her lips served as a tiny reassurance for him. In his arms, Commandant Steele seemed so fragile, so small like a porcelain doll. He used one of the Fast Travels to bring her back to base.

No one said a word, but he knew that they could all care less.

On the bed, she produced a withered cough. He couldn’t fathom how she was still breathing and functioning, no less.

Calloused hands cleansed the wound to the best of his ability; linen bandages tightly wound around her abdomen.

Displeasure carved deep lines and wrinkles onto his face. A scowl formed on his lips. He sat her, gave her hand a squeeze. He managed to slip a bar of eridium into her other, pale hand.

“You’re an idiot, Commandant…”

Knoxx leaned forward in his seat, hovering above her. He shook his head and remembered the time where they first met. Steele had been almost disrespectful, refusing to bow down or deliver a salute of recognition.

Back then, she reminded him of an Ice Queen, ready to conquer.

“If you go, I go.”

There would be no one else to hold him together.

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

scientificallyvolatile replied to your post: You’re sure I couldn’t even study a blood sample? And you know as well as I do I cannot control my nosebleeds and everything you own is red anyway!

I’m not asking for HER, you illiterate buffoon, I’m asking for a small vial of blood, maybe 150 milliliters, that she would be able to replenish, for purposes of research. Ass.

Enlighten me, you coot. How does being illiterate connect with misinterpreting speech?

You can take your 'research' elsewhere, mate. If you get lonely enough, remember that you have a few chairs to accompany you.

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

Technically, if you shoved your boot up my ass, Fort Knoxx would be in ME...

-Emits a long, hearty sigh.-Technicalities, mate. I don’t have the time for your wordplay. I would rank this up with the Admiral’s chicken scratch for penmanship.  

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

Is your nickname Fort Knoxx?

-Bites down on his cigar, none too amused.- No, mate. They do not. This is General Knoxx, speaking. If I hear this lousy joke one more time, I will shove my boot so far up your ass that you will be in Fort Knoxx.

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

You're sure I couldn't even study a blood sample? And you know as well as I do I cannot control my nosebleeds and everything you own is red anyway!

No dice, mate.Not gonna trade over one of mine own as a pet or experiment for you to poke and prod.-Snorts.-  Can’t change the Lance’s colors. We’re called the Crimson Lance, for a reason. 

[themilfmaster-blog]

I thought someone from the Borderlands community was adding me on Skype. Turns out to be a bot. Solution: Pretend to be Knoxx.

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

{{ Reblogging from my personal omfg. }}

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

☱

Hey, it’s me. I know; you must be swooning to hear my voice again, Admiral. Oh, that’s right. You’re not since you dismissed me.

Been seeing someone who looks like he belongs in one of those boy bands. Hell, he looks like one of the dolls my daughter used to play with.

Must be groinless, too. …That has to be a word: groinless.

He’s got the ego of the Gods. Pretty sure I could deflate it with a knife.

Will look into the matter further.

Knoxx, signing off.

[End of recording.]Echo Log Serial #: FOE-19234

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

((JOURNALLY SYMBOL THING SORRY THIS IS FROM A CELL))

General Knoxx speaking, reporting to Admiral Mikey in regards to Dr. Patricia Tannis.

The woman—a supposedly brilliant scientist—is inept in social settings. Don’t quote me on this, mate, but I think she has a things for chairs. I will not be looking into that matter in its entirety.Furthermore, her voice sounds like a skag being run over by some balding tires.And if she even mentions experimenting on Commandant, because she is a Siren one more time… Well, there will be consequences.

Knoxx, out.

[End of recording.]Echo Log Serial #: WEH-09847

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

☱ I dunno if you're still doing these but eh fuck it

This is General Knoxx of the Crimson Lance, reporting for du- Fuck it, mate. [Mutters.] The Lance has already lost its credible reputation long ago. Thought I’d get a nice retirement plan, but that’s fruitless. I’m at the end of my rope, all out of tricks.Speaking of which, think I might need a pair of glasses. Heard rumors about a non-Lancer (that a word?)— [Sighs.] running around base.Will investigate the matter further.Knoxx, out.

[End of recording.]Echo Log Serial #: TUH-42950

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

☱ [ BD ]

Hey, it’s me again. A shocking revelation; I know.

Let it be known that Commandant Steele is a bitch. I will not repeat myself, as I’ve come to the conclusion that this is a trait that all Sirens must possess. How does one solve this problem? …Through less than ethical means, of course. [Snorts.]

The Commandant is also a blanket whore. Every Sunday morning, I wake up to see her in a goddamn cocoon while I’m freezing my ass off. [Sighs.]I’m surprised that she doesn’t chew off my hand when I wrap her arms around her. Granted, there’s no getting near that blanket, mate. I’d rather her not use those Siren powers on me.

Anyway, told her that she should keep her hair down more. Doesn’t make her look like a schoolgirl, but a grown woman. Doubt she’ll listen. [Grumbles.] I’ll try and fix that, love. Teach you how to obey.Somehow, she makes goddamn Mondays a bit more tolerable.Knoxx, out.

[End of Echo Recording.]Echo Log Serial #: XFG-45673

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

Insults.

This is General Knoxx speakin— Oh, who the hell cares about formality? The Admiral sure doesn’t. [Scoffs.]My men have been reporting sightings of a ‘giant tentacle beast’. Now, the only thing I can assume is that they’re referring to a thresher. In which case, I don’t wanna hear about their extracurricular activities.

Even I wasn’t that adventurous in my youth, mate.

If sightings of this mutant thresher continue, then I will inevitably take matters into my own hands.As if my life couldn’t get any worse.Signing off.

[End of recording.]

Echo Log Serial #: XTC-10394

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

☱

General Knoxx reporting for duty and a worn out life of serving the Lance.A Bullymong of a man was last sighted near the Armory. Could this day get any worse?My men tell me that he’s ‘pumped’—like one of those overly muscular guys on the cover of gay magazines. Not like I would know anything about that.

Maybe he’s putting some Engorge into that diet of his, with a dash of blood and iron.

…Well, it’s time to get in that suit.

Knoxx, out.

[End recording.]Echo Serial #: TFH-08274

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

☱

Hey. It’s me again.I don’t know who she thinks she is, but if she insults me like that, then she’s a dead woman walking. I can handle the Admiral dishing out lousy comments, smeared with macaroni and paste. Talking about my subordinates, however, is another matter entirely.To make matters worse, it’s a Monday. God, I hate Mondays. [Grumbles through clenched teeth.]She better wipe that smirk off her face before I smear that pink hooker’s lipstick with the back of my hand.This is General Knoxx, signing out.

[End recording.]

Echo Log Serial #: BTH-00089

[grizzledgeneral-blog]

☱ bring on the insults!

This is General Knoxx of the Crimson Lance, speaking. [Sighs] There’s a Siren flitting around my armory and it isn’t Commandant Steele. Is it just me or do all Sirens have a stick up their ass?

Thinks she can get the upper hand by contacting that treacherous snake Athena. Well, she’s wrong.She’s got a temper to boot. Must be the red hair.

On a similar note, do all Sirens share a similar taste in clothing? Skin-tight, revealing. No sense of modesty. Will investigate the matter later by consulting Commandant.Knoxx, out.

[End recording.]Echo Log Serial #: ASX-00983