i sit listening to my weekly webinar. my mic is muted and my camera is off, but there's still an hour left. i can't miss any of this information. i'm going to be tested on it, so i dilligently record it in my notes. i feel my stomach shift downwards again and squirm in my chair. i was supposed to go to the bathroom before i started my webinar, a rule i made after almost wetting myself in regular underwear in my desk chair a few weeks earlier, but i got caught up in making lunch and completely forgot. an empty mug that used to have coffee in it sits beside my desktop, just next to a plate with a banana peel and a few crumbs from an earlier avocado toast and a nearly empty water bottle. i am always trying to ward off the severe constipation i get. it's what damaged my nerves and got me here in the first place- but sometimes...
i feel muscles in my abdomen contract, but despite my best efforts to squeeze my ass shut, i tighten in all the wrong places. my load starts making its way out of me, held in only by my chair. i swallow and do my best to focus on the webinar and my note-taking, all the while trying to suck the log back in and fighting my body's urge to let loose and feel it coiling softly and slowly into my waiting padding. i listen to the low bassy notes of the presenter's voice, instead of the faint, earthy smell starting to fill the air, and the pain as my body tries to find room to push everything out of me. i'm not going to make it. i didn't make it. when the reality of my accident sets in, i lift my ass a few inches off my chair in defeat. without me pressing my asshole against the chair as hard as i can to keep everything in, i immediately heavily fill my diaper with thick, dense, slightly soft shit, feeling nothing but my sticky mess finding places to rest against my skin and touching the outermost ring of my ass on its way out, and the pumping sensation of my muscles as my body pushes against my will, unable to feel much else. it feels like it goes on for ages, but at the same time, it all happens so quickly that i barely have time to contemplate the fact that i'm pooping my pants, while technically at work, again. the load is huge, i can see it in the office mirror, its made itself apparent despite my thin medical diapers and thick sweats. i spend the rest of the hour sitting leaning on my side, so i don't have to sit directly in my shame.