...unless you are born-again
Valentine’s Day 2016. One of the strongest motivators that we have as human beings is the desire to live in agreement with our view of the world. We are so tied to validating and being in agreement with our world view that we will try to keep the status quo - even if it is irrational to do so. We do what we think is comfortable and familiar to us -- what we have always done, not what we know to be right. You may find this hard to accept or believe but this is the space that most of us live in, including myself!
Why does this dysfunction happen? Because we must live in agreement with our world-view -- what we have always done, we are prone to repeating because it is this stuff that, up til the present, has made us who we are today. Thus this is the stuff that make us most comfortable. I propose a myriad of rationales that keep us in our comfort zone:
1. Lack of imagination: ‘I am fine. If I cannot see it or feel it, I must be fine. I have a track record of being fine my whole life despite the occasional injury or sickness so why is this case any different? I’ll keep doing what I am doing.’
2. Hubris (self-pride): I can solve this problem myself. ‘Sure, I’ll take the doctors advice under advisement but its really pretty simple, right? I’m a smart person so I’ve got it covered. I’ll keep doing what I am doing’
3. Denial: ‘I don’t have a problem. I refuse to accept that I have any illness. I’ll keep doing what I am doing.’
4. Acceptance: ‘What can I do? Everyone gets old and dies so why am I any different? I’ll just accept getting old gracefully. I’ll keep doing what I am doing.’ What is so graceful about not being able to bend down to tie your own shoe laces or not seeing so clearly or losing a leg? I say fight. Fight til your last God-given breath. Life is God’s greatest gift to you. Honor it with a will to live strong and healthy lives.
5. Pursuit of happiness: ‘What is the point of living if I cannot enjoy how I live? This (stuff of death) food tastes great so I have to incorporate it into my diet. I’ll keep doing what I am doing.’
Of course, this thought process will inevitably lead to you adding a host of other food items that will slowly kill you. Can you substitute the happiness derived from food with other ways you can enjoy yourself and still be optimally healthy? Fly a kite? Enjoy a hobby like singing? Learn to love more deeply (yes, it is a choice and will be a future topic)?
6. Lack of time: ‘Don’t have the time to get optimally healthy between my work, kids and other obligations. I don’t have time for the gym or even time to breath. Maybe in a few weeks when my work project has died down some. I’ll keep doing what I am doing.’
7. Procrastination: ‘Yeah, I know, I know I have to do something about my weight. I’ll start next week’... and you will hear the same excuse next week.
8. Lack of knowledge: ‘Don’t even know where to begin, should I do the Mediterranean diet or should I focus on Atkins? I do have to lose a few pounds... Why is so much of the advice conflicting? There is a lot of advice and I am confused about what works and what doesn’t. I’m sure I’ll find an answer one day. I’ll keep doing what I am doing.’
9. Tradition: I’ve got a wife, kids, family that comes over to our place regularly and we eat. It is what families do together on a regular basis to bond -- share lives through food. Everyone else is used to eating a ‘normal’ diet so I can’t just eat separately.
Besides, what do I eat when I am going to a business dinner, a tradeshow or my friend’s house? I can’t ask them to make a special happy meal for me... I’ll keep doing what I am doing.’ This is a tough one. Without your family support, it will be very hard to break away completely from your existing diet and life patterns. Take it slowly a little here and a little there and next thing you know, everyone is getting into it. But you must lead. It will be your roll in leading your family to a new life.
To give you an example of what I am talking about and the lengths people go to validate how they live their lives, take this gentleman pictured below. I had known him for years because he was my neighbor. He has had severe type II diabetes for years and did not do anything about it. He knew what to do, how to change his diet. In fact, I pleaded with him to make a change but he wanted to keep eating the same diet that constantly elevated his blood sugar.
Please note that by the time I was speak to him, my blood sugar had dropped from a 9.8 A1C (dangerously high) down to 6.5 (at last check I was at 5.8 -- same as a normal person). What is A1C? It is a 2-3 month blood sugar average (blood test taken at the doctor’s office) that shows how well you have controlled your diabetes. This is very different from the ’snap-shot’ blood sugar test that we do at home (pricking our finger) after eating or fasting to see how much our immediate blood sugar has risen or is in control. A1C is a more accurate long term indicator of blood sugar control. More info here: http://www.diabetes.org/living-with-diabetes/treatment-and-care/blood-glucose-control/a1c/
Back to the point: I was speaking with authority regarding what I did to reduce my blood sugar and what he could do to emulate my success. But he made an irrational decision for the immediate comfort of his palate and ongoing lifestyle. A few months later, the doctors amputated his leg because it was getting infected due to the diabetes and causing the rest of his body to be in constant sickness and pain. He had to give up that limb for the sake of the rest of his body. I am grateful to him for allowing me to take this picture 2 weeks after his surgery.
How Far Will You Risk Your Health For Your Comfort?
In my humble opinion, it is not rational to risk your health to the point of amputation when you know what you need to do to prevent this. Of course, he did not think this would happen to him. This may be a dramatic example and you may not think this has anything to do with you but it does.
His short term comfort overwhelmed his good sense and, besides, from his point of view, what is the point of living if you can’t enjoy life? Well, is he enjoying life now? What trade-offs are you willing to make? What issues are you facing now or might you face in the future? Are you willing to prevent or significantly delay the natural flow of aging that will lead to your eventual death?
The one-legged gentleman tried to substitute science, his doctor’s advice and evidence right in front of his eyes (my success) with excuses and his version of rational personal “insights” about what he should do about his diabetes. This is the problem we have as humans -- most of us do not often have the foresight to make rational decisions about our health because there is such emotion and history that is ingrained in our heads about ignoring evidence and living with the status quo -- we do whatever we are used to doing and makes us comfortable. In this case, this gentleman was fooling himself -- thinking he knew better... and he paid the price for his stubbornness with a lesser, more handicapped life. Sorry dude, was it worth it?
Getting to an optimally healthy life will almost certainly require that you break from your current beliefs -- that ones that you think are true and comfortable -- the ones you think are the pillars of your existence... and have been for as long as you can remember. You have to up-end the ship that kept you afloat your whole lives. Left will become right and right will become left. It means that you will have to reject many of the things that you believed to be true.
Think about it. If someone tells you what can make you healthy -- and shows you evidence - proof - empirical or otherwise, will you do it or will you defer that decision to another day when things are only going to get worse?
However hard it is to change, you can and you must. My advise to you:
1. Make a commitment to yourself that you want to live a life of optimal health and, over the long term, will work to achieve this result.
2. Start slowly but be consistent with your efforts. Do not stop or it will be difficult to gather that momentum back. You will find that in a short period of time -- months -- you will have gathered some good momentum. If you try to do everything immediately, it will be harder to stick to the plan because of all the lifestyle changes you will need to make.
3. From time to time, play a little exercise with yourself. Envision yourself 20 years from now. Think about your wrinkles, issues and all. Now see yourself as you looked when you were 25 (assuming you are older than 25) -- it is my goal and I am getting there. Now see what you need to do to get there. The knowledge to do this, I will share with you -- as much as I know -- but whenever you fall off the wagon, keep visualizing your 25 year old self and the path you need to stick to in order to get to that 25 year old self.
We are not invincible. We will eventually get sick in one fashion or another, frail with old age, with permanent bodily injuries and that is not something we can come back from so easily... unless we start to do something about it now. We will die eventually and that is not something we can come back from in the natural. The health problems that happen to you can happen to me. The problems that happen to this one-legged guy can happen to you! We are all the same -- we are all human -- we all get old, get sick and then we die. Yes, under normal circumstances, our bodies naturally heal our injuries and sicknesses given some time but when it comes to maximizing our long term health TIME IS NOT ON OUR SIDE! NONE OF US ARE ABOVE GOD’S LAW, THE LAW OF NATURE. Once we understand and emotionally absorb this raw truth, we can do something about it.
See with the eyes of a new-born baby
As our eyes are opened and as we are born again to a new life, we have to clean out the old ruthlessly -- without mercy. We must reject many of the likes and wants and ways that were easy and normal before but are actually the Stuff of Death. The bible teaches us that when we are born again, we are required to follow the word of God -- for example, to not lie or be unfaithful to our spouses -- no exceptions, no loopholes -- it is to become a way of life moving forward wholeheartedly without any doubt or worry. in the same way, you must see the world with the eyes of a new born baby with no past preferences or prejudices. It is only when you drop your past that you can accept the future.
Stay with me, I will not ask you to accept what I am saying on faith. I will show you and, in the best case, prove to you that certain ways of living lead to greater heath and are the stuff of life. Once you accept this, you must leave the past behind.