A self indulgent Spinel-centric comic about a little Gem reaper left behind in a pumpkin patch. Art and story by @Samethstarr Read from the beginning | Fanart | Other things
Hey friends, here is a small preview of the picture I made for the upcoming Rose Quartz zine! I’m so happy I’m able to have my art featured along side so many amazing artists, and I can’t wait for everyone to see the full piece!
Be sure to follow @rosequartzzine to get updates or to see previews of what the other artists and writers have worked hard on!
Pink Diamond's garden was a special place; somewhere private where she could play, or in more recent times, just let her emotions run wild.
Of course, emotions are never without consequence for Pink. Her tears fell into the soil, and each time she returned there would be more and more living Pumpkins. They excited her at first, they loved her and were incredibly playful, she couldn't wait to tell everyone. Of course, the other Diamonds didn't understand, and Yellow sent gems and eliminated all of them, reprimanding Pink for not handling her own "pest" problem.
Pink grew more Pumpkins then she ever had for days after.
She got better at hiding them, but sometimes keeping secrets takes practice. Several more times her Pumpkins were destroyed, and each time she grew them again.
It was after a particularly frustrating conversation with Yellow that she and her Pumpkins received a visitor, a Spinel.
Pink never returned to the Garden. The Spinel instead kept the Pumpkins company. She loved them and they loved her, but still they waited for Pink to return.
Many explored and played, some kept watch, but most lined the stairs to the portal, simply waiting for their friend to return.
Hundreds of years were passing, and the Pumpkins hard shells were softening. They would have to be more careful playing with each other, sometimes a particularly soft spot would cave in and wouldn't heal. Some of the Pumpkins no longer had separate eyes and mouth. Eventually, some of the Pumpkins no longer moved, melting slightly onto the steps where they waited for Pink to return.
Eventually the Spinel could no longer hold them, even a slight touch would leave an indent. The garden slowly became more quiet, the Pumpkins voices were getting caught in the goo their insides were becoming.
Close to 6,000 years passed before the final Pumpkin collapsed in on itself, still loyally waiting for Pink Diamond to return.
The Spinel stood, no longer in the company of the Pumpkins. She loved them, and they loved her, but now she was by herself.
A toy repurposed into a weapon, Spinel Cut X4-B, or Hallow as I call her, is one of 8 experimental Spinel designed with the purpose of drawing out, and sometimes eliminating problem gems.
The experiment was a success in some ways, and a failure in others. The Spinel were efficient, almost never failing a mission, their playful nature and upbeat personalities made it easy for them to get close to any Gem. They could often turn a gem with words and games, but failing at that they had no problem rejuvenating, or even shattering a gem, even those who were made to fight. They were not assigned targets by any sort of commander, instead their gem would lead them to gems with strong emotions.
They had three major flaws: They got distracted easily, and their sense of "fair play" would lead them to let their targets go free in the event their target bested them at a game. The second part was less of a problem. The Spinel were competitive by nature and almost always won.
The final flaw was that their powers did not recognize the Diamonds as being perfect.
In order to keep them focused, 4 of the Spinel were assigned "Enforcers", devices designed to manipulate their user's emotions and lead them towards their goal.
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Hallow was one of the ones assigned an enforcer. It would eventually lead her to Pink Diamond, who was struggling to prove herself as a Diamond and have her own colony. Hallow realized right away that this was essentially a death sentence. To attack a Diamond was suicide, but she couldn't resist her enforcer either. She briefly considered attacking Pink Diamond's Pearl in hopes that Pink would not know that she had come for her; that she had the audacity to even remotely imply that a Diamond might not be perfect.
In the end though she was reduced to tears and cursed her fate. Pink Diamond found her intriguing though, and they were able to come to an agreement, a game.
Pink would try again, she would request a colony. She would try again with everything she had. Hallow would wait for her to return to her garden if she failed.
Pink Diamond's heart didn't change, she didn't overcome whatever sorrow had summoned Hallow, but she also did not return to the garden. Unless Pink became completely loyal to the Diamonds or she returned to the garden, Hallow was trapped.
Hallow was eventually freed due to a "technicality", which would eventually lead her to Earth.
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Over time, the 8 weaponized Spinel all became lost in one way or another and no more were produced. While rumors of their existence sometimes pass around, records of them don't seem to exist anywhere and most Gems believe they were nothing but a myth, if they hear of them at all.
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There are two other Spinels who have roles in the story, Spinel Cut X4-A (who has a name and I will be discussing her more in depth later) and Spinel Cut X3-B (who I refer to as the "Messenger").
As the year 2021 comes to a close, I have found myself reflecting on all kinds of things. While there were a lot of really significant personal things that had happened, especially with my health, I have also had a lot of things to reflect on when it comes to this project.
This is something really difficult to admit, something I haven’t talked about with even people close to me. This was a spite project. When I first started planning, I was full of fresh wonderful ideas, passion that kept me up at night as I told and retold the story to myself. I decided it would be a perfect time to try out a comic with it. I was surrounded by other comic artists at the time, I had all kinds of support available to me, resources galore, experienced brains to pick, and a solid plan.
And then someone told me, not in a nice way, that I couldn’t do it. And they were right, and I knew right then and there they were right. I wasn’t the kind of person who could complete a project of this scale. So I put some safeguards in place, telling myself that if I wanted to be the kind of person who can accomplish this I can work to develop what traits I needed, and if it was too much I could still exit with dignity and try again with whatever skills I learned. Eventually I would get there.
Perhaps it would have worked out better if I had also let go of the negative feelings that person left behind. Not only did I want to to change so it would be something I could handle, I wanted to show them that I could do it, that some jerk couldn’t claim to know me any more than I knew myself. I wanted so bad to show them. More than anything. It was an excellent motivator, I accomplished more than I could have imagined was possible. It went almost exactly as I believed it would.
But of course, as one would expect, while spite is a fantastic motivator, it is not a healthy one. Somewhere along the road my comic stopped being a story I told and started being a weapon for attacking someone that... actually doesn’t exist anymore. They will never see this. They will never look at my work and say “Oh hey, they did better than I gave them credit for”. They will never care. They never did. I was the one who cared too much. I was attacking myself in the end.
So with that in mind:
What do I want to do with my 2021 hate project:
I will not be continuing the comic as it is. It wasn’t healthy for me to start and I need to stop before I waste any more of my energy and continue this cycle of burnout I have trapped myself in.
HOWEVER, I am not going to be just cutting things off and saying goodbye. I love Hallow. I love the story I wrote for her. I love my other Spinels, the ones not even my closest friends got to meet.
I will not be wasting the effort I have put in. I will not be wasting the time and support all of you wonderful people have given me. This story will still be told, my ideas will still be shared.
Over the next few months I will be sharing the rest of the story, not in comic form, but in simple descriptions of the project. Ideas I had, concepts I explored, things I scrapped and why.
I want to tell you more about Hallow, who she really is. I want to tell you why the Pumpkins are so important. I want to show you the Crystal Gems including Spinel, and how she would fit into the canon story. How she would react when Steven befriends Connie. How she looks into Lapis’s mirror and the reflection looking back isn’t her. How the story advances...without Lapis. What is in that backpack of hers? Why can’t she fuse?
I will answer questions about nearly everything, so don’t be afraid to send an ask.
I will still be posting AU related art. Maybe more now that I can look passed the comic and into the actual story and instead of spite I can finally let passion be my motivator.
Thank you everyone for joining me, and I hope I will continue seeing you around even though there will be no further comic updates. I appreciate all the support I have been given this last year, and I do not regret for a moment everything I have learned, and everything I have made.
Sorry for being absent recently. Seasonal depression hit me hard so I played Pokemon for “just one day” and weeks passed. Then, exactly when I decided I would love to do some art....
My computer is in need of repairs at the moment, and I am currently waiting for the part I need to ship. We’re having some postal delays where I live due to a recent natural disaster so I am not sure when the part will arrive.
My computer is still functional, but very unstable, so I won’t be working on anything super important because there is a notable risk of losing it, along with my motivation to try again.
Hopefully I’ll be back in the full swing of things in the new year, sorry for going dark for so long.
As I mentioned last week, there won’t be a comic today.
There also will not be one next Sunday. I decided I really liked what the last week of low pressure catch up work was doing for my mental health so I would like to do another week of it.
Sorry for being so late today, I’ve been having episodes of vertigo and it has been making it hard to draw.
There won’t be a page next Sunday. I’ve been taking on more tasks than I can handle and I need to get myself caught up with some of the more sensitive commitments. Hopefully I’ll just be missing the one week ><
It’s October again, and that officially means that my comic is a year old!
Unfortunately it wasn’t a very productive year with me. A couple of weeks after starting the project my health declined sharply as a result of my advancing gallbladder disease. The Covid pandemic led to a lot of delays getting the surgery I needed, and my health continued to get worse as I waited.
Fortunately I was able to get the surgery during the summer. The recovery was pretty rough, but overall I have been in great health and a lot of the chronic health issues I suffered from have gone away. I was even able to leave home to work a little temp job a couple of weeks ago; my first job away from home in around 8 years.
So it’s time to get this comic properly moving again! We’re getting back into weekly updates!
After today’s comic, the next update will be October 10th, and will continue with updates every Sunday.
Thank you to everyone who has stuck around through the last crazy year!
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