Grumply-Grump

I'm Zoe, 17 and a generally grumpy person who is in a constant state of existential crisis

[ninatypewriter-deactivated20200]

WATCH LIVE NOW: Women’s March on Washington 2017 [ABC News on YouTube]

[just-shower-thoughts]

Head & Shoulders should sell a body wash named Knees & Toes.

[just-shower-thoughts]

If Jimmy Wales shuts down Wikipedia tomorrow we’ll all be sorry we didn’t send him a measly $3

[just-shower-thoughts]

While my parents drove, as a kid I would always imagine someone running along side the car jumping over obstacles.

[just-shower-thoughts]

I prefer my cookies medium-rare

[just-shower-thoughts]

Bathtubs are opposite boats.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Home alone is the children’s version of die hard.

[just-shower-thoughts]

A religion is really just a cult that “made it”

[just-shower-thoughts]

If your buttcrack was horizontal it would clap whenever you go down the stairs.

[grumply-grump]

Me, on a date: so how do you feel about using old memes?

Them: I honestly hate people using memes that have expired. It's not funny anymore

Me, shoving breadsticks into my purse: I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

[just-shower-thoughts]

Your future self is desperately wishing you would do something right now.

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[leslie-knopes]

[just-shower-thoughts]

It took me way too long to realize that the numbers on my toaster are minutes, not “degrees of toastedness”

[prozdvoices]

We cracked it.

[tatertodd-perished-deactivated2]

this woman is my fucking queen 

[just-shower-thoughts]

Apple should have named their device chargers ‘Apple Juice’