A Tumblr User

[world-of-cats]

[sususuyo]

[fruleo-deactivated20230308]

Misc New Leaf Doodles

[florescentlcvesickness]

[hekacute-deactivated20141230]

I went to high school with a kid who would only drink out of a baby bottle. He brought a large baby bottle to school every day. At first, we thought that he was using it to sneak alcohol or something, but he wasn’t. He would bring it filled with chocolate milk and then fill it up with Coca-Cola and Sprite during lunch. He’d buy a can of each and mix them together. Like I said, it was a large bottle.

I didn’t know the kid that well and I didn’t have any classes with him so I never really talked to him that much. I knew his name. His name was Kevin. Sometimes I’d see him at parties on the weekends. He still had his baby bottle. He would fill it with beer and rum.

He dated my sister’s friend, Emily, for a little while. I had known Emily for a long time. She had been a friend of my sister’s since they were five or six. They were really good friends. She spent a lot of time at our house for sleepovers and stuff. Sometimes she would pee the bed, but I never made fun of her for it. I think most older brothers would have loved the opportunity to make fun of their sister’s friend for peeing the bed and I think she really appreciated that I never mentioned it even though I definitely knew about it because after the sixth or seventh time, my parents started paying me to clean everything up instead of having to do it themselves.

I asked Emily why Kevin only ever drank out of a baby bottle and she said that she didn’t know. They had only been dating for a very short time at that point and she didn’t want to bring it up and offend him or anything. I asked her to tell me if she ever found out. They broke up right after that and I kind of forgot about it because Kevin stopped going to school. I don’t know if he transferred or dropped out, but I never saw him at lunch or any parties after that.

I hadn’t thought about him in a long time, but Emily happened to mention him while she was over at our house recently and I immediately remembered the baby bottle thing.

“Did you ever find out why he drank out of that bottle?” I asked.

“Oh yeah, he told me why,” Emily said. “He used it because he heard that babies that drink out of bottles for too long or drink sweet drinks out of them get really bad teeth problems. He wanted all of his teeth to go bad so that they would fall out and he would be able to fit a softball in his mouth. He said that he wanted to have the world record for being the first person to be able to put a whole softball in his mouth and he wouldn’t be able to do that with all of those teeth in the way.”

[pluginduck]

What the fuck did I just read

[colormush]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

idk if I’ve posted about this before but by far the strangest things that’s happened to me in retail was the time someone’s total came out to my birth-year and I said “hey! that’s the year I was born!” and then the next customer’s total came out to like $12.57 and just bc I’m a weirdo I said “hey! that’s the year I was born!” and without missing a fucking beat this like, 70+ year old man said

“Ah! Another like me! We’re few and far between these days, aren’t we?”

And I was like oh man this guy’s sense of humor really aligns with mine! And I laughed and made some other joke about being immortal and thought that was the end of it,

but this man.

He stood by the register for five more minutes. Maybe more. Which let me tell you is an EXCRUTIATING amount of time for something like this to happen.

And he just kept upping the ante!! He starting talking about some REALLY specific details regarding day-to-day life in the 1300s to the point I started getting worried that I’d misled a genuinely immortal being to believe I am also immortal.

He eventually politely left when I got too busy with other customers to awkwardly respond.

Who the fuck was that guy.

[andrewbelami]

Straight people out here shooting up their own fucking babies

[galren]

#We did it honey#the evil is defeated (via @beasthenshin)

[mchanzo-is-mccanon-deactivated2]

this is the most white heterosexual nonsense ive ever seen

[warmbooze-blog]

congrats! your smokebox was blue

this means you will birth a Denim Child

[cultural-antifascism-deactivate]

*Jild

[queenbeanz]

I don’t understand why you are all so offended by this. They found out the genre of their baby by doing something they like to do. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE ISSUE HERE? WHY IS EVERYONE ON THIS WEBSITE SO HYPERSENSITIVE ABOUT EVERYONE ELSES LIVES. BACK TF OUT OF PEOPLES BUSINESS FOR FUCKS SAKE.

[andrewbelami]

The genre of their baby

[estebanwaseaten]

Easy Listening Baby

[golden-eyedghost]

Smooth Jazz Baby

[dongstomper-deactivated20161230]

post-progressive dreamfunk baby

[biff-donderglutes]

Honey do you see the dreamy blue hues rippling in the residue of the vaporized car? We’re having a vaporwave baby

[deltasniper1000]

ハヤテグッドボーイI N F A N T

[inkblotsspot-deactivated2018121]

>tfw no vaporwave baby

[fernhat-official-deactivated201]

[internetopia]

This post is a journey

[frogii]

i had to read through this post that already started off stressfully and now you do too

[gowns]

lower-income people tend to be “hoarders” and richer people are able to do more “minimalist” living spaces. if u don’t have much, you will hold onto any little thing that comes across your way. you got a new tv, but you still keep the old tv because you know things can break. you keep extra boxes of macaroni and cheese lying around because there will be a week when you don’t have money for groceries. you hold onto your stacks of books and clothes for dear life. those are your assets. physical evidence of where your money’s gone. it’s hard to get rid of it. the bare wall is terrifying when you don’t have much.

[femmeemberme-deactivated2018022]

Fuck. This makes so much sense and explains so much about me. I must have inherited this from my mum.

[lokahjarta]

so I’d normally put this in the tags but it’s kind of a lot so just reblog this from OP to skip my commentary. But I dogsit for a family who is clearly LOADED. Their house is immaculate. High, vaulted ceilings, wood flooring, two chandeliers in one room. These things are fancy, right ?? I really don’t know, anything that isn’t tile or 30 year old carpet seems fancy to me. It also so… bare. Everything is organized perfectly, they have no excess. Their decor is extravagant and yet minimal - it is carefully and precisely executed. Nothing that doesn’t match the aesthetic sits in their living room. I tried to replicate some of it, but it’s just not possible. I have every book I’ve ever owned, my mom keeps papers upon papers, VHSs in a dresser, how do you just get rid of these things when you know you may not have the opportunity to buy them again? How must it feel to live in such orderly quarters where everything is replaceable?

[ignescent]

This really locked into my brain when I was reading one of the declutter your space things and it suggested getting rid of duplicate highlighters and pens. /Pens/. It suggested that you needed one or two working pens, so if you had extra you should get rid of them. That was when I realized minimalist living was /innately/ tied to having spare money, because the idea was, of course you just went out and bought the single replacement thing whenever the first thing broke. You obv. Had the time and money to only ever hold what you needed that moment, because you could always buy more later.

[jiangchengdidnothingwrong]

there’s a nice article titled “minimalism is just another boring product wealthy people can buy” by Chelsea Fagan which i feel addressed lots of my problems with minimalism, you can read it [here]

[pukicho]

I hope everyone is having a fucking day

[pukicho]

[treehog]

[sageofstars]

“Rejection” erasure poetry by Ben Aaron

don’t get into grad school? make it art 

[cyborgteen-deactivated20180718]

ive said it a million times but poetry sucks

[sageofstars]

“i sucks” erasure poetry by Ben Aaron

[wahbegan]

chill the fuck out Ben it’s a rejection letter from grad school now a love note from your ex

[sageofstars]

“Love Note” erasure poem by Ben Aaron

[neurodivergent-crow]

Ben Aaron is my new fave

[watershalation-deactivated20191]

My fave famous poet

[captain-jimkirk]

[kyoshis-blog]

[greatest-adventurer]

are you fucking kidding me

[carpetenebras]

No you don’t understand how frustrated I am that we always depicted the Apostles as old men, especially when it comes to during-Jesus-alive stuff.

They were probably late teens to early 20s, given the time and the description and some Biblical passages.

They were not ancient old men with long beards and wrinkles at the Last Supper.

They were young adult rebels with a cause.

[shadowstep-of-bast]

where my punk-rock apostles at

[vikingqueen]

I can’t remember where, but the bible says that Jesus was the only one who was old enough to pay the temple tax required by Jewish law, none of the disciples had hit that age. A quick google tells me that Jewish men pay it from the age of 20 - all of the disciples were teenagers.

[bucolicae-archived-deactivated2]

Why this is possible:

Probaly they were all underage except for Peter. In Exodus 30:14-15, Jewish law states that every male over the age of 20 is to pay a half-shekel as census offering when they visit the temple of God. In Matthew 17:24-27, Jesus instructs Peter to “fish up” this tax. Peter finds a shekel in the mouth of the fish he catches; enough to pay the tax for two men, himself and Jesus. You could conclude that the others were underage and did not need to pay.

In Matthew 11:25, Luke 10:21, and John 13:33, Jesus calls his disciples little children .

We learn that Peter had a wife when Jesus healed his mother-in-law. In those ancient times, a Jewish man receives a wife after the age of 18. Again, no other disciples’ wives are mentioned, so they are unmarried and probably under 18.

Jewish children began intensive study at young ages, but education for most concluded by age 15. For those bright (or wealthy) enough, higher education consisted of studying under a local rabbi. If they didn’t find a rabbi that accepted them as a student then they entered the workforce by their mid teens. The disciples, already working-men, must have been rejected  by other rabbis when Jesus hand-picked them for further education as his disciples. In light of this, a younger age is more probable than older. A youth would be in the mindset of continuing his education. A man over 30 leaving his trade to follow a rabbi would be counter-cultural , although not impossible.

The behavior of the disciples, as detailed in the gospels, fits well with the zealous nature and foolishness of adolescence. Picture a gang of teens instead of work-hardened men in the boat when the storm hit, fear-stricken and waking up Jesus for help. The forgetful and distracted nature of youth helps me understand how they could hear Jesus say he would die and come back to life, yet act as they did when these things happened. When we age them under twenty, we can understand Jesus’ patience with them, his low expectations of their behavior, and his teaching style.

so punk rock

[emilyevergreenblog]

This changed my life.

[mini-minish]

sorry but i’m laughing as i imagine them dabbing over some simple joke while jesus looks just tired and deadpan questions some of his life choices

[diary-of-a-chinese-kid]

[orlandobloomers]

instead of sending me nudes you can send me 

pics of you smiling with ur fave stuffed animal

pics of you smiling with ur mom 

pics of plants

pics of ur dog

pics of silly lookin bugs that u find 

[officialcrow]

send me the nudes while this geek eats a flower

[om-exia]

[ubiquitous-pearl-deactivated201]

Y u pet me

Keep pet me

This always makes me happy, because the source video shows that the shark actually wanted this. It experienced it once and then kept coming back for more petting.

(also, because i’ve seen comments about this: the shark is able to breathe while still, not all species need to be in motion to pass water through their gills. If you look closely, you can see its gills pumping)

I would very much like if more people would pet sharks and be good to them instead of trying to hurt them please

Sharks are very lovely and should get pettings like these more :)

MythBusters did an episode on how to survive a shark attack and a shark’s nose is so sensitive that a gentle tap is all you need to drive it away. The guy sat on the ocean floor with a bucket of chum and didn’t get attacked once, when hungry sharks swam up he’d give them a boop on the nose and they’d swim away. So if the shark is friendly, pet the snoot. If the shark is dangerous, boop the snoot. Either way, no one dies. 

Boop the snoot

Reblogging for adorable shark and ‘boop the snoot.’

[escapismportal]

@sweetiefiend