( human after all )

i never had wings, only feathers. and i cried like a baby when they left me and i bled every time somebody touched. i wasn't beautiful, not even in the golden light. does it really matter anyway? we all get swallowed eventually. kimiko greyback. 7th year gryffindor. she/her. werewolf. girl with fire for blood. criminally inclined.

[flospughsadadad-deactivated2021]

My great aunt died.

Bonus:

[gryback]

genie‌:

where: death eaters’ general meeting (where the main lot just found out abt lily) when: sunday, february 25th who: open to student de

Genie was thriving. She’d been tickled pink about the whole thing—-what an excellent plan of Gemma’s, honestly, but who was surprised?—-and had greatly enjoyed being able to cause havoc and run interference last night against those headless chickens that called themselves MA members—-honestly, Genie thought scornfully, McGonagall had been a senile old bat but even she knew how to run an organisation better than these righteous walking temper tantrums—-but she was especially interested in this particular moment: now that the whole group had been informed, Genie’s eyes were roving the amassed crowd, scanning for reactions. Enthusiasm, weakness, discomfort—-anything, because as Wes had always taught her, every little thing you caught was another thing to be able to use and weaponise.

“So,” she said casually, sidling up to someone and flicking two fingers at the person nearest them to scatter so Genie could take their spot, “Who do you think’s going to burst into tears first? My bet’s on the halfbreed—-either, really, they’re practically interchangeable at this point, so desperate, poor things—-though I guess it’s not really their fault that they can’t control their impulses, what with them being less… civilised than us.”

Kimiko had a head ache. In fact, she had a whole body ache. The full moon had ended what seemed only five minutes ago, and here she was, in a bloody Death Eaters meeting, muscles tense, arms crossed. She supposed she was pleased at the news of Lily Potter’s kidnapping ( though she wished they had chosen Rose --- one irritating roommate less and all ), but on another hand, she just felt indifferent. Startingly so. She blamed the full moon for it, figured that tomorrow, or the day after that, she’d grin more convincingly. There was no room for indifference, after all --- not with her surname, not with her father, not with her praepostor’s badge and her dedication to this fucking cause.

And then there was Iphgenia fucking Rowle next to her, speaking of halfbreeds. Kimiko guessed that the other was just trying to get under her skin, and she wouldn’t let her, not even with her head pounding. Besides, there was no part of her that desired to stand up to Genie --- they both knew that Kimiko stood below her. She was fine with that, even if she didn’t think all too highly of the other on a personal level. “Doesn’t seem fair to bet on two people, Genie,” said Kimiko, turning her head to look at the other. “You have to choose one. There can only be one FIRST one, after all. Unless they break into tears at the exact same time which, you know, I wouldn’t put past them --- but still. Pick one. I’ll take the other.” She crossed her arms, turned to Genie even more. “What do I get if I’m right?”

[gryback]

alice:

WHERE: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. WHEN: Anytime between February 25th, 2024, and March 6th, 2024. WHO: Any Hogwarts student or professor.

“D’you think they know how aggressive the combination of those patterns look to me, and are trying to make me have my first heart attack at the tender age of sixteen? Or do you think they simply don’t have any taste whatsoever? Ooooooh, or maybe it’s a hidden message. No matter what’s the truth, though, I feel like I should be wearing sunglasses whenever I look at them. Make it stop.”

“It’s a ... criminally hideous combination, you’ve got a point,” said Kimiko, glancing at the fourth year’s outfit with a scrunched up face. “You know what you could just do, though? Look away. I know, I know --- wild suggestion, and all that. It’s better for your heart, though. And eyes. And just, for everyone, because while that combination is the worst, that rant you went on was like the second worst.”

[gryback]

ruben:

When: Feb 27th Where: Just outside the greenhouse, Hogwarts grounds. Who: Ruben x anyone nearby. Really open here.

The heat of the flame illuminated his lips as he took another drag, pulling from the nearly finished cigarette idly as he gazed out at the forest. The smoke settled in his chest, a light burn warming the back of his throat. Another nasty habit that he picked up from Durmstrang. Young Dutch men were rarely ever seen without a sig between their lips. This was his third in the last hour- almost like an obsessive tick. But he liked the solitude that smoking brought him. An excuse to keep people away so he could be alone for a moment, relax around the solitary that he created.

That was until the air shifted and he wasn’t alone anymore. Ruben’s jaw tightened as he heard someone’s oncoming steps, his eyes finally turning away from the setting sun. He tilted his head as he gazed through the open door and smirked. “Out so close to curfew?” His thick accent purred the words and he moved to lean against the doorway, arms folding across his chest. “What could bring you here so late?”

Kimiko was restless. With her body still fatigued from the full moon a few days back and the entire castle turned upside down, she craved a way out. Luckily, Kimiko Greyback was excellent at distracting herself. ( She wasn’t sure where she would be without her distractions, in all truth. ) And so she’d rolled herself a spliff and taken to the grounds, playing with the lighter Theo had given her, eyes trailing the calm Scottish hills. She wanted to fucking scream.

It was too quiet. It was too pristine. Even as she was high, with her muscles relaxed and her pains lessened, she was restless. She wanted to throw her fist against a wall and dive into the lake and burn the castle to the ground. She didn’t, though --- Kimiko just kept walking, flicking her lighter, finding comfort in its small fires. She found herself walking towards the greenhouses, wistfully hoping that she might be able to use this pent up energy to look after her plants and actually do something for school, only to find Ruben already standing there. She observed him for a moment, before gesturing at the scenery behind her. “I’m just taking a little stroll, enjoying the beautiful views our school has to offer,” she said dryly. “What’re you up to, then? Besides the angsty smoking?”

[gryback]

theo:

february 2024. @gryback

exhaustion was visible in every single one of his movements, sweat had come and gone, leaving his hair a mess, his shirt was missing one button. theodore reeked of alcohol and a bit of vomit. he considered it a sign of a well-spent evening. “ got it during christmas. “ the boy threw a poorly wrapped lighter in her direction, missing kimiko by quite a lot. the purple wrappig paper was a little torn - it had been sitting in his pocket not for a day, not for two, but the entire week as he kept forgetting where he’d left it. “ uh, kinda lost it, “ he groaned as he sat down next to her, “ but i found it like last week. kinda lost it again. happy christmas , i guess. “ peeking out of his attempt at mystery was a bright silver lighter, filled with little detailed engravings he hadn’ really paid attention to. a small thing. a way too damn expensive thing, he still thought. a nice thing. 

Parties were, in Kimiko’s opinion, both a blessing and a curse. Tonight’s party, she had decided, was a curse --- victory parties often were. With a moody expression on her face, she was nursing a drink, her mind swimming in the high a previous joint had delivered. The only thing to lighten her sour mood was her company ( though she’d never admit that to Theo ), and when he threw a package at her -- or, well, by her -- she glared at him. “You have terrible aim,” she responded, hiding the confusion and surprise she felt at the fact that he’d gotten her a present. She’d not gotten him anything, after all, and she hadn’t expected this. ( She’d have to get him a present too, now, to begrudgingly make things even, and maybe also because she liked the idea of giving and receiving presents. ) Once she recovered the poorly wrapped present, though, and uncovered the lighter, she stared at it for a moment. Fucking hell, was she about to get sentimental over a lighter now? “It’s beautiful,” she said, her words sincere for once, eyes finding Theodore. “Wanna test if it works?”

[gryback]

katya:

where: diagon alley when: jan 5th, 2024 who: @gryback

                                      “i’m thinking violent thoughts at you constantly.”

Katya blinked at the masked figure, mind working even as her body stayed deep in the action, throwing up a protego. There was always the possibility of talking shit to manipulate people, but putting that aside… the other’s words suggested someone who saw her regularly, which would indicate a fellow student. It wasn’t like Katya didn’t know there were students involved—there was a reason the MA formed, after all—and given the setting and numbers of this chaos, it made sense there were students… but there was something different between being aware of something rationally and the sudden tightness in her chest at the inescapability of the realisation. Resolve replaced the tightness, and she dropped the protection charm, sending a stunning jinx at her opponent instead. “Hiding violent thoughts behind a mask?” she called, already in motion to try dodge any retaliatory hex if her opponent ducked from her spell. “Sounds about right—-I’d always heard you lot were cowards.” Part of her was wondering, suddenly, if there was a leak in the MA — someone who pretended to be their friend, their ally, who was hiding behind one of these masks, planning violence against their members — but she pushed that away. Now was hardly an appropriate time for a crisis of faith.

Kimiko supposed that Katya had a point. If it were up to her, she’d get rid of her mask and snarl her bared teeth at the world around her, give them the monster they wanted --- it wasn’t as if it was a secret that the Greybacks were on the Death Eater side, so what the fuck did it matter, anyway? What was the point in hiding cowardly behind a mask, when everyone and their mother knew that there was no bleeding way that Kimiko Greyback was hiding on the sidelines or fighting for McGonagall’s Army? There was none, she’d decided, but she’d gotten instructions to wear a mask, and so she had, without question --- Fenrir Greyback’s words were law, after all, and Kimiko knew better than to disobey. “Oh, I’m not hiding any violent thoughts, Katya,” she snarled, ducking to avoid the stunning spell and sending a stinging hex right back. “I’m planning on letting you in on all of them --- maybe once I’m done, you’ll recognise my voice, hm?” The words left her lips before she realised. Stupid, reckless, heedless ----- and still she sometimes questioned whether she truly was a Gryffindor! Her regret didn’t last long, though, and Kimiko nearly hoped that Katya would figure out that it was hear behind the mask. There wasn’t much the other would be able to do, if she did find out, and besides --- would it be that much of a surprise for her? It could even be fun. Kimiko followed her stinging hex up with a stunning spell, stepping closer to Katya. “C’mon then, concentrate --- you’ll figure it out!”

[gryback]

freya‌:

Freya cocked an eyebrow. “Easier said than done, isn’t it?” she pointed out. “I don’t know, Kimiko. Gryffindors aren’t exactly know for their – lack of idiocy, but you’re smarter than most of the lot at least.” She was mostly teasing – although her sister did have a knack for picking fights that wasn’t exactly wise. But at the very least, she tended to win them. “My big life philosophy?” she repeated, taking a moment to consider. “Just doing whatever it takes to keep us alive. You know, always looking out for number one. It’s not like we come from a massive, loving family like the Weasleys – I can’t afford to be selfless when it’s just me and you and Kian.”

She glared at Freya for a moment, before letting the angry expression on her face be replaced by an amused one. “I’m not saying that my life philosophy actually works. I mean, it’s obviously not kept me out of all the trouble in the world, but it’s kept me out of plenty.” In all truth, Kimiko didn’t mind trouble --- she minded having nothing to do, she minded feeling restless and empty. Trouble was often a distraction. She listened to Freya’s words and felt a guilty twinge. “I mean, yeah. That’s mine too. I can steal yours, right? And like --- a person can have multiple philosophies, and stuff.” Kimiko felt heavy, for a moment, wishing she spoke with as much care as Freya did, with as much love. She shifted in her seat for a moment. She felt a hint of fear, of worry --- and she couldn’t push them down. ( Somehow Freya made her feel more real, which wasn’t a bad thing, but it made her emotions more real too, and that was a bad thing. ) “But, you know, we’re safe here, right? At Hogwarts.”

[delimusic]

Visit Original Link

Sonic Youth - I Dreamed I Dream

Rock alternative

U.S.A. 1982

[gryback]

mei:

“Interesting. May I?” She gestured before taking the bracelet in hand, examining it. “You have a good eye, Kimiko Greyback, I’ll give you that. And everyone has to start somewhere.” She made eye contact with one of her subordinate across the room, inclining her head; her earlier meeting could wait a few minutes, until she was done with this surprisingly interesting conversation. “IS this a…. hobby that your father encourages?” How satisfying would it be, she wondered, to steal one of Fenrir Greyback’s wolves out from underneath him?

Kimiko couldn’t help but grin a little at Mei’s words. Her sticky hands were often something she kept for herself ( as it made it easier to steal when not many people branded you a thief ), but to share it and get some kind of recognition was pleasing, especially coming from someone like Mei Xing Po. “Thank you. It really is just a hobby at the moment --- though I want it to be more, someday.” That was as far as she let herself dream; the idea that she could maybe, one day, fend for herself by exploiting the side of her that was good at all this and lose herself in another underground world --- not one of werewolves, but one of criminals. Fuck redemption, fuck self-betterment. All she wanted was to do something that was just for her, nothing more. “He does, though not nearly enough for my liking. I’ve learned most tricks myself.”

[gryback]

eliza:

when: feburary 26th, 2024; 2 am where: empty rows of the quidditch pitch who: eliza & OPEN

Gone. Gone. Gone. G o n e. 

The word was repeating in her head, coming to a volume that made her ears nearly bleed. Every time she thought she had gotten the hyperventilation and shaking under control, the word came back with a vengeance. Lily - their leader, lionheart incarnate, fierce and rearing for a fight, one of the few children of the man who was their savior, Eliza’s savior - was fucking gone, probably being tortured or worse by a threat was was becoming more and more lethal with each passing day. It seemed that they were fighting a war that was impossible to win; every time victory was close in their grasp, something like this happened. Lily was gone - taken - and it seemed like they were moving back in time, to a time where registries and branding was normal and expected. It made her sick, fed that burning coals in her stomach that made her want to fucking scream and rage and destroy anyone in her path. It fucking terrified her - a feeling that she would never, NEVER, say out loud. She was the strong one, the one someone could lean on, the one who would promise to beat the shit out of anyone who hurt you, the one who would protect you until her last breath. But she didn’t know how to fight this fight and she sure as hell didn’t know how to fucking win.

Tears started to prick at her eyes, the lump in her throat becoming to thick for her to swallow down. She bit her lip until she tasted blood, silent sobs wracking her body with each passing moment. She stared up at the sky, her vision blurring as she tried to tell the stars apart, tried to concentrate on something - anything - to make herself stop crying. Once she allowed herself to let go, let the tears flow freely, she couldn’t stop. And she had to stop, she had to pull herself together - for her friends. She could never make herself correct her behavior for her own sake so she had to focus on others. She slowed her breathing only for it quicken when she heard oncoming footsteps. 

Her position on the bleachers made her difficult to spot, but someone could have easily seen the broken bottle of Firewhiskey a few meters to her left. She had brought it out to drink but after the first round of panic attacks, she had thrown it away from her - needing to see something break. Breaking the bottle was a right sight better than her idea of finding anyone who could have had ties to the Death Eaters and beating the shit out of them. She wiped her eyes, praying that the newcomer wouldn’t spot the nail marks in her palms, or the blood coming from her lips, or the red in her eyes. Her knuckles turned white as she held her wand tightly, attempting to make out the figure coming her way. She raised her chin in defiance, fully expecting a fight. “Nice night, huh?” She started, her voice even as she stepped down to another bleacher. Her wand was pointed resolutely at the figure, waiting for them to make the first move. 

Kimiko Greyback didn’t care about the rules. That’s what she told herself at least, because she knew it was the opposite from true. The idea alone was enough to make her feel like a rowdy, rebellious kid, though, and that seemed so simple that she clung to it. ( She supposed she was, in a way. In another, she was an obedient daughter, head down, rule-following, never questioning. ) Curfew was one of the rules Kimiko didn’t care about --- though this could somewhat be attributed to the fact that she was high as a kite in that very moment. 

She just wanted some peace and quiet, that was the truth of it. She still felt the full moon in her body, dragging her down, and the castle had seemed to turned upside down at the news of Lily’s disappearance. Kimiko couldn’t help but bitterly think that if she were to disappear like that, only a handful of people would care ( and so, she didn’t care much about Lily’s suffering --- that Death Eaters were willing to kidnap kids wasn’t news to her, after all ). And so she brought her joint to her lips again and walked, eyes up to the sky, a middle finger thrown to the moon, as if that would stop her from being what she was. ( A tainted half-breed, as the Ministry had apparently put it. ) 

She hated to admit it, but she was tired.

She clambered up the steps of the Quidditch pitch, wanting to reach higher and higher, remembering how Kian had won only a day ago right there. She kicked against an empty bottle, not thinking much of it, and was then met with a raised wand and chin. “Fucking hell, Dursley,” said Kimiko, not reaching for her own wand. For once, she didn’t want a fight --- she just wanted to revel in her high and look at the stars and feel like a rebellious kid, and nothing else at all. “What’s got your panties all up in a bunch? Lower your bloody wand.” A chuckle passed her lips when she remembered that she was able to give the other detention, a high chuckle, thinking about how nonsensical the world was. She took another drag from her joint, eyeing the other defiantly, half wanting her to curse her. “C’mon then.”

[baebyboy]

I’ve already seen this before

[gryback]

mei:

A vaguely amused smile lit up Mei’s face, and she took the younger girl’s hand in stride. “Mei Xing Po. I find myself—-unfamiliar with your work, I’m afraid. Of course, I know of your… father,” Mei gave that word as little weight as she could; Fenrir Greyback was a necessary evil in some of her dealings, but she would never like the man (if you could call him that)—and if the opportunity presented itself, wouldn’t hesitate to rid the world of him. “Did he send you here for something, Kimiko? Or are you just waiting out the lockdown like everyone else?”

“Of course you do.” A polite smile graced her lips still --- being Fenrir Greyback’s daughter had a lot of downsides, but at least people knew of him. Better than having some nobody for a dad, she figured. ( Not that she knew any other way. ) “But no, I’m not here for him. I was just enjoying my freedom --” Relative freedom. “-- and now I’m waiting out the lockdown, too.” Rummaging in her pockets, she pulled out pearly bracelet and a too-sparkly coin purse. “And I’m using the chaos to my benefit. This is my work.” 

[buffonias]

[bob-belcher]

[gryback]

where: diagon alley when: january 5th, 2024 who: @violentlongiings

                                 “Now you tell me what you’re up to.”

Kimiko grinned, turned, laughed at the sound of Maddison’s voice. “What does it look like?,” she wondered, gesturing around her. “Enjoying the chaos.” And she was. Kimiko felt half-alive on most fortunate days, but right now? Right now she felt ablaze, alive, as if something had finally lit the fire in her being after it had died out so long ago. She pulled a stolen coin purse from her pocket, holding it up in the air. “People are awful at looking after their belongings today --- a true pity.” Another chuckle as the wallet disappeared again, her eyes flicking around to catch anyone daring to intrude on this quick conversation. “Wanna wreck some more chaos, then?”

[gryback]

ever:

Ever stumbled backwards, not expecting a death eater to throw a punch instead of a cruse. Her hands instinctively reached up to her aching mouth as shock began melting into a hot rage. “You’ve really fucking lost it, haven’t you?” Ever chuckled incredulously, wiping at her now  busted lip – nothing too terrible, at least by Ever’s standards, but enough to draw blood. “Or maybe you never had anything up there in the first place.” She drew back and landed her fist in the pit of the DE’s stomach as hard as she could manage. Hopefully it would at least knock the breath out of her. “Why don’t you fuck off to Lord Voldemort’s dead-ass before you lose something else!!” Ever sneered, readying herself for retaliation.

Kimiko saw the red of blood and heard Ever’s words and prepared for a punch back --- in her face, that was. When it landed in her stomach, she gasped from both impact and surprise, but grinned in the end. It hurt, but fucking hell, at least she felt alive. “Can you lose it when you never really have it?,” she questioned, voice raised. With both fists balled, Kiko lashed out again, eventually choosing not to punch, but to kick against the others shins in stead. Still, her fists were raised, ready for another reason to hit Ever’s face. “I don’t have shit to lose, Longbottom --- you, on the other hand, do ... which makes this all the more INTERESTING.”

[gryback]

where: diagon alley when: january 5th, 2024 who: @evergreenlongbttm​

                   “The only thing I’m choking on is your insanity.”

Kimiko laughed at the words that spilled from from her roommate’s lips, wishing that she could rip off her mask and snarl in her face, show her the monster she was, with no holding back. In stead, she lashed out with a curled fist, landing a punch on Ever’s mouth. “I could give you more things to fucking choke on, Longbottom. A few teeth, maybe?” She didn’t care about being called insane, didn’t care about anything besides letting go from the restlessness that had piled up in her body over these past few months. Hell, maybe she was insane --- she didn’t doubt that, really, but had no time to sit still and cry about it, either. Especially not now. Now, she felt alive for the first time in what felt months, and she hoped that Ever would punch her back so she’d feel even MORE on fire, so she’d have more reason to explode. “It’d be an improvement -- I’m pretty bleeding sick of seeing you choke on your pride, after all.”