Guacvocado

Sometimes I just feel green.

[guackin]

“I always expect people to behave much better than I do. When they actually behave worse, I am frankly incredulous.”

 Elaine Dundy, The Dud Avocado

[guackin]

“There’s a lot of things you need to get across this universe. Warp drive… wormhole refractors… You know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold.”

The Doctor, Season 6, Episode 6

[guackin]

I had this…well, let’s call it an ISSUE….this ISSUE today. My Dalek headmate and my Timelord headmate were at war. WAR. All day long. There was shouting and the inner turmoil was unbearable. Things were disintegrating without my volitional involvement! I think my Dalek headmate was just making…

[blaident-deactivated20150104]

I… Wow. That’s some pretty good fanfic you got going there. Keep it up. I’m looking forward to the rest of this fic. Trolling a troll. It feels good

[guackin]

Unpack your privilege!  This is my life we’re talking about here. And I don’t know what universe you live in, but a Dalek is NOT A TROLL.  

[blaident-deactivated20150104]

Haha! “Unpack your privilege” I like that. I’m going to remember that one. Also a Dalek might not be but you sure are.

[guackin]

I don’t know how you can be so…hate-filled. I feel like you’re oppressing me. And my Dalek headmate can get ugly when you start oppressing him. He starts firing off rays that disintegrate things, and unless you get into the TARDIS fast enough, you might get hit by one. A ray, I mean, although you could potentially be hit by something that’s actively disintegrating too, I suppose. 

Are you a troll? Is this why you know so much about them? I’ve never met a trollkin. 

[blaident-deactivated20150104]

Haha! You’re the best haha! Ok let’s get this out of the way. You are the best troll I’ve seen and I congratulate you for it. Brava Madame brava. And no I am not a slimy fucking otherkin. Also I’m so scared of your imaginary friend! Ah! What will I every do! A fictional character is mad at me ah! /s

[guackin]

You know, now that you mention it (repeatedly, I might add), there are days that I have distinct tendencies to stomp about hallways, and often I have the sensation that I have a large stubbly club on my shoulder whilst so doing. That may in fact, be evidence that I could be trollkin.

You mentioned slimy fucking. That does not sound appealing in the least, sir. Bravo for skipping that. I know that even if my intended target were some exotic otherkin being, I would not find slimy fucking them in the least appealing. 

Now, my Dalek headmate is not, in point of fact, an imaginary character. The real Daleks on Dr. Who are imaginary characters. My Dalek headmate is a real being who resembles an imaginary character. And I do feel quite frightened when he is angry...all the disintegrating rays and rolling about in my cranium and whatnot. It's quite distracting.

[guackin]

“The vehemence of my moral indignation surprised me. Was I beginning to have standards and principles, and, oh dear, scruples? What were they, and what would I do with them, and how much were they going to get in my way?”

― Elaine Dundy, The Dud Avocado

[guackin]

"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”

— The Doctor, Season 5, Episode 10

[guackin]

I had this…well, let’s call it an ISSUE….this ISSUE today. My Dalek headmate and my Timelord headmate were at war. WAR. All day long. There was shouting and the inner turmoil was unbearable. Things were disintegrating without my volitional involvement! I think my Dalek headmate was just making…

[blaident-deactivated20150104]

I… Wow. That’s some pretty good fanfic you got going there. Keep it up. I’m looking forward to the rest of this fic. Trolling a troll. It feels good

[guackin]

Unpack your privilege!  This is my life we’re talking about here. And I don’t know what universe you live in, but a Dalek is NOT A TROLL.  

[blaident-deactivated20150104]

Haha! “Unpack your privilege” I like that. I’m going to remember that one. Also a Dalek might not be but you sure are.

[guackin]

I don't know how you can be so...hate-filled. I feel like you're oppressing me. And my Dalek headmate can get ugly when you start oppressing him. He starts firing off rays that disintegrate things, and unless you get into the TARDIS fast enough, you might get hit by one. A ray, I mean, although you could potentially be hit by something that's actively disintegrating too, I suppose. 

Are you a troll? Is this why you know so much about them? I've never met a trollkin. 

[guackin]

I had this…well, let’s call it an ISSUE….this ISSUE today. My Dalek headmate and my Timelord headmate were at war. WAR. All day long. There was shouting and the inner turmoil was unbearable. Things were disintegrating without my volitional involvement! I think my Dalek headmate was just making…

[blaident-deactivated20150104]

I… Wow. That’s some pretty good fanfic you got going there. Keep it up. I’m looking forward to the rest of this fic. Trolling a troll. It feels good

[guackin]

Unpack your privilege!  This is my life we're talking about here. And I don't know what universe you live in, but a Dalek is NOT A TROLL.  

[guackin]

Today is definitely a day where my vocadoself is ascendant. I am full of hard pit; consumed with defensive ballness. Put your spoon away for I am thicklyskinned, green with envy. I laugh at your attempts to mash me. I mock your lime juice and salt; keep them for the Cuervo. 

You did not wish to take me in my sweetly softened, gently edible form. You pushed the bowl away far too soon, and in my bereft isolation on the table, I have become....OTHER. 

[guackin]

Daleks. Timelords. WUT?

I had this...well, let's call it an ISSUE....this ISSUE today. My Dalek headmate and my Timelord headmate were at war. WAR. All day long. There was shouting and the inner turmoil was unbearable. Things were disintegrating without my volitional involvement! I think my Dalek headmate was just making that happen to spite my Timelord headmate, because TL got really pissed every time a pen disintegrated. He went bollicking on about timestreams crossing and I just put my head on my desk and told my boss I couldn't concentrate because my headmates were fighting.

He knows better than to ask me to be productive when I have the ISSUE. 

[guackin]

[guackin]

When I am defensive. My pit is large and hard. 

[guackin]

It's not easy.

There are just days I don't feel heard. My pit is totally absent and I'm soft and vulnerable but I don't think people accept me like that. When my guacself is ascendant, I feel like people walk on me. And yet when my vocadoself is ascendant, I feel like my hard hard pit just...blocks community.  You know?

The struggle is real. If only I could find a dermatologist who could help with my rough bumpy skin.....

[guackin]

ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?

ROBOTS