[buried-in-stardust]

Okay so I got Rednote because I heard about the whole migration thing and I never bothered to sign up before, and the cultural exchange has just been really fascinating

[buried-in-stardust]

Some sentiments I see from the Chinese side:

For a lot of people, it's the first time they've been able to directly interact with foreigners and make use of the mandatory English classes that they've been taking since elementary school

This is a special in moment in time, where the people in both countries can just converse and see just how similar they really are. Many people are staying up late to really get the most out of it because we don't know how long this can last

Lots of misconceptions being corrected, including but not limited to: Americans don't get period cramps, all Americans have big houses like on TV, work in the U.S. is easygoing

Finding similarities between parents, like asking if they're digging a hole to the U.S., or saying that when they were young they had to walk uphill to school in the snow both ways

Two things they were shocked by: cost of university (in China, the better the school, the less you pay), and learning about rural food deserts in the U.S. ("aren't they farmers?")

Lots of comparisons on the cost of rent/groceries/medical costs/salary/work hours etc, with the resulting sentiment that the common people everywhere really are the same and have a common enemy

Lots of them have changed their typing habits so that it's easier to machine translate and are now stuck with a sort of "translation accent" in their Chinese from that as well as reading so much machine translated Chinese

After the Americans joined, the quality of the posts have gone way up ("Rednote algorithm knows there's guests here and so is serving the best dishes now" / "Why has Rednote been hiding the good stuff? The guests are worthy but we aren't?")

Also there was a post asking Americans to post pics of their work lunches, but I think the Chinese users might've been disappointed by the comments, because half the comment section was pictures of empty hands ("Didn't have the time") or like. a cup of coffee

[jerseyclown]

i hate being an adult because no matter how hard you try your house is never ever ever ever ever clean

[guardedgold]

2023 Recap...

January:

New Years Eve with Anu's sister and bro and friends in the Springs. Flight to MN got cancelled from snow/fog so hung out with Anu. Had date night at Kini's. Went to Minnesota for Christmas with Anu. Got facials and massages, ice skated with Carly, etc. Bekkah and Maggie came to Denver to visit and we had a chill fun time. Fought with Anu a lot and didn't know if we would stick it out.

February:

Golden retriever festival with Lindsay, Megan, Rachel. Made Valentines cards at Jessicas Galentines party. Catsat for Evie and she cried all night long and we did not sleep. Went to the Blue Moon employee party and got very very drunk. Super fun night out in the Springs at the Cowboy themed bar. Signed lease for me and Anu's new apartment at Vail's building and was excited but apprehensive.

March:

Got my hair dyed for the first time in ages. Saw JBoog in concert and had so much fun. Celebrated my bday working at the Moon and moving with Anu's family. Moved into our new apartment and it was an adjustment but we loved it. Emma flew into town and we drove to Arizona. Had an amazing time visiting the national parks and exploring. Tried sake, saw the world's largest pistachio, and stayed in an earth hogan. Planned trip to Oktoberfest and Yacht week.

April:

Hung out at Holly's pool a lot. Dog sat for Tank in the Springs for a week when he had kennel cough- super stressful but it was nice to have alone time in a big house. Drove to Vegas for Melisa's bachelorette and had a weekend of severe stomach pain and cramps, but also a ton of fun.

May:

Saw Maoli and Kolohe Kai in concert. Amazing night. Went home to MN and met up with Annie and saw her daughter, was in Melisa's wedding. Got my wisdom teeth out after stressing about it for MONTHS and it was easy and totally fine lol. Ignored all the aftercare rules and went out to Charlies where I got my wallet stolen and someone used all my credit cards to spend tons of money on Mexican food. Smh. Went to a Havana Nights themed party at Jessica's. Lots of stomach aches/stomach problems all spring. Kept working at Blue Moon. My mom's cancer came back and she started chemo.

June:

Was so excited for summer aaaand promptly got bronchitis and was dying for like 3 weeks. Carly's dad passed away. Drove up to Minnesota and spent a week at the cabin with Emma. Started trying to get in shape for Yacht week. Stressed about this all summer long but never lost any weight for it despite tons of workout classes and runs. Had girls night at Grizzly Rose with Jessica. Missed the pride parade because my stomach was so upset (common theme of 2023.) It hailed a TON this month. Saw the Head and the Heart at Red Rocks for the 2nd time.

July:

Spent 4th of July with my Blue Moon friends and it was so fun. Reena moved to Texas so we went to her going away party and saw Liz from Samaritan House. Prepped for yacht week- lots of hot pilates, runs, walks, shopping, stressing badly about money. Got tboned while driving and my car was totaled. Annoyed because I had no car but it was nice that she hit me on the way to my oil change and with a flat tire instead of coming home! Emma had to put Bailey down. Fought with Anu bad after she was rude to Jessica's man when he walked me to my car to be nice. Almost broke up but Anu convinced me to try to work it out. Went to the cabin with my St. Joes girls. It went by fast and there was a lot of talk about people's pets and babies. Felt a little like I couldn't relate but had fun anyways.

August:

Prep for Yacht week. Lots of nerves and stress. Flew to Iceland and then London and got to explore London for a day. Flew to Croatia and felt horrible on the plane with the worst bloating ever. Stressed all night the night before the yacht and considered bailing but pushed myself to go anyways and had.....sometimes fun? I wasn't a huge fan of most of the people on the boat, they weren't all that friendly (except for a few of the guys) and Jessica was giving weird pick me vibes at times but it was BEAUTIFUL and I felt like I got past my raging anxiety so I was proud. After yacht week I flew to Madrid and spent one night there. I'm dying to go back, it felt good to be there. Then flew to Ibiza and met up with Emma P and Jessica for a girls weekend. We stayed at a nice hotel, went to Kygo (amazing show), lounged by the pool drinking sangria, etc. It was great. Fought with Anu the entire trip- it was so stressful. She felt neglected and anxious about me being gone or cheating or idk what, it was just so draining to constantly be "in trouble." I flew home and had lost like 8 lbs and was thrilled.

September:

Was home for a week after Europe, then flew up to MN for the fair and cabin. Had a nice time, saw family, Anu came, etc. Started doing even more hot pilates and yoga. Anu went out of town for a weekend on a bachelorette party and I was excited to chill solo at home. Unfortunately, something fucked up went down. I went to a party at Jessica's to watch football and blacked out. Ended up at a bar where a creepy dude wouldn't leave me alone and for some reason I started dancing with him and then eventually.....let him come back to Jessica's with me. After saying no 100 times but also kissing him and standing with him out on the street at bar close. Jessica and everyone had left, she says I was leaving with them but then disappeared and somehow ended up back with that guy. Things happened and it tore me to pieces. I told Anu and it tore her to pieces. I couldn't function so i cancelled my trip to Oktoberfest with Emma and hated disappointing her. The rest of the month was a blur of not eating, crying, feeling miserable and disgusting, worrying about if I had caught something, wondering wtf to do in my relationship, etc etc etc. Anu and I decided to try to move past it. I cut 6 inches off my hair (clear sign of a mental breakdown) and got a 3rd job (another sign). Started working a ton at a taco place and made a ton of cash. My aunt came to town and we saw a Rockies game. It was hard to hide how sad I was and how angry Anu was from everyone. Didn't drink for weeks which felt nice and worked out a ton. Lost more weight from stress.

October:

Anu's friends Beth and Andy got married. The wedding was in Breck and it was absolutely beautiful. I was terrified to see Anu's fam and friends after what happened but it was fine. Got extremely drunk at the wedding and had a horrific hangover. Hiked the Manitou Incline, one of my Colorado bucket list things I had wanted to do. Went to spin class a few times. Lots of work and fighting with Anu. Lots of crying.

November:

Quit my 3rd job because business slowed down and it wasn't worth it. Went to a 7am yoga class and felt so healthy lol. Spent a lot of money trying to feel happy. Test drove some cars and started car hunting. Spent thanksgiving with Tara and Seb which was cute. Got a christmas tree and decorated the apartment. Felt a little better and didn't cry so much but still felt horrible and guilty.

December.

Went to Casa Bonita for Kevin's bday. Flew up to MN to see fam and hang with friends. So far has been fun but very stressful because Anu is mad that I'm away and feels I don't spend enough time with her. My dad got COVID so have been semi quarantined to the house for the last few days, just hoping I don't get it too. Bought a truck! The rest of the month will hopefully just be working, finding a therapist, and Christmas.

This year was overall just.....stressful. It felt like Anu was mad at me constantly and I couldn't make her happy. I had lots of doubts about our relationship. I was stressed about money, being sick (constant stomach issues), my wisdom teeth, yacht week, the thing that happened in September, etc etc etc. It just felt like a lot of difficult and challenging moments. However, I am super proud of myself for pushing past my anxiety on my trip. I'm also super proud of all the workouts I did and new workout classes I've tried. I feel like I'm genuinely getting stronger and feeling good. I went on some fun trips and made some good memories. I took care of my health and my teeth.

My general goals for this year are to:

Drink less

Do more social activities that don't involve alcohol (yoga with friends, afternoon tea, spin, sober dinners, etc.)

Have more friends over to the apartment to just hang out.

Start therapy

Figure out what needs to change in my relationship and determine if it's salvageable.

Save $100 a month in a savings account (starting small here lol).

Really learn what foods feel good to me and what foods I need to avoid.

Have a year of CALM and zen and just doing what feels good and right.

XXXXXXX

[guardedgold]

It has been a rough few weeks, lorddddd. It all started end of April, when I was dog sitting for Anu’s sister. I picked the dog up from the kennel, and literally immediately upon walking out the door he threw up stomach acid. The kennel people said he hadn’t been eating much. He then started hacking and coughing constantly, and refused to eat or drink for 2 days. I took him to the vet and turned out he had kennel cough 😩 luckily with some antibiotics and rest he ended up being ok (but lost 10 lbs and the family had to come back early from Hawaii to take care of him). So it was a stressful week and a half. Right after the dog saga, I had Melisa’s bachelorette party in Vegas. I drove there, which is an absolutely beautiful drive but it was slightly dampened by me having some kind of food poisoning or stomach bug or allergic reaction or something. My stomach was in KNOTS and so painful the whole drive and then the entire trip. Extremely bloated, cramping constantly, and just painful as fuck. Nothing helped it. I definitely also did not help it by staying up late, drinking, and eating like trash. I did discover that beer made it worse, while water and tea and wine/mojitos were ok. So strange. Vegas is already overstimulating af, but sharing a room with 3 other girls, one of whom is going through a miscarriage and some other serious shit, was emotionally draining. After Vegas, I returned home for a week where I basically worked and tried to get my stomach to stop hurting. Then I flew home to MN and was in Melisa’s wedding. As far as weddings go it was actually pretty low-key, but I just find weddings stressful in general, and Taylor, who I was sharing a room with, was up all night crying and gasping in pain because she had thrown her back out and even codeine and steroid shots weren’t helping. A lot of sleep was NOT had. A few days later I flew home to Colorado, and then promptly had my wisdom teeth surgery which I was absolutely terrified for. Like, had been stressing and dreading and putting it off for over 6 months. All in all it was actually a breeze. It didn’t hurt, the whole process was seamless, I felt a little silly for being so worried. Even getting put to sleep was no big deal and I woke up feeling a little out of it but fine. The most annoying thing was not being able to eat hard food, and my cheek being sore. I didn’t really follow the after care instructions, and went out 3 days after my surgery for drinks with Anu. Oops. The universe gave me some instant karma when my wallet got stolen at the bar and the thief used my work credit card to buy over $1000 in shit at a food truck. I was so mad. Who does that. Ugh. Luckily, a Good Samaritan found my wallet and dropped it off to Jessica, sans all credit cards but with my ID and gift cards intact! So alls well that ends….semi well. The day after the wallet situation, I decided to have some doordashed ramen with anu. Almost immediately I got raging heartburn, and then some other wildly un-fun stomach related symptoms that I will spare the details on. For the next week I was back to dealing with stomach pain and cramping and just general discomfort every day all day. Ugh.

By beginning of this month I was healing up from my teeth and ready to just start working out and eating right and enjoying summer. I lost 5 lbs from the surgery diet and the ramen, and I was feeling so good and went on a few long walks with anu. And then, I got bronchitis. It hit me like a damn train. It’s been 11 days and I am still hacking up a lung/phlegm/struggling to breathe at times. It’s actually insane, I have never had a cough like this before. There were days when I genuinely thought I was gonna have to go to the hospital because it was so hard to breathe. I missed Carly’s dads funeral, and I missed 4 days of my trip home to go to the cabin cause I was so sick. Frustrating af. Luckily I was well enough to drive up to MN (I didn’t wanna get on a plane and be that person coughing and hacking) and made it here in one piece.

Emma and I had a nice couple of days just chilling at the cabin. We went out to some new bars, ate good food, read books, and sat looking out at the lake. It was just what I needed. I’m sure I gained back the 5 lbs I lost and probably then some which has been weighing on me but I need to remind myself I can get right back onto my healthy eating when I get home and I can go on walks or to yoga or things like that, even if my lungs are still healing. I feel like I’m starting to get a bad cold, so I’m just hoping my body can fight it off. Between the stomach thing in Vegas, my teeth, the ramen food poisoning, and bronchitis I am just so desperate to feel good again. Going to devote the rest of June and July to getting to a good healthy place. Mental health wise it’s just been draining. The drinking probably isn’t helping- I didn’t drink at all in April until the last weekend in Vegas and while I didn’t lose any weight I think I felt better mentally. I wanna get back there.

Really reminds me if you don’t have your health you don’t have anything!!

[poeticpicturism]

[svitlo-nek-joj-ljubi-lice]

*accidentally spent all my life making sure everyone around me feels comfortable, only to realize I never felt comfortable the whole time*

[important-animal-images]

[paulfrankjuliusthemonkey]

anyway. onto better things

[sunnysideanon-deactivated202003]

soft asks to get to know people

what song makes you feel better?

what’s your feel-good movie?

what’s your favorite candle scent?

what flower would you like to be given?

who do you feel most you around?

say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

what color brings you peace?

tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. 

what calms you down?

what’s something you’re excited for?

what’s your ideal date?

how are you?

what’s your comfort food?

favorite feel-good show?

for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word.

compliment the person who sent you this number.

fairy lights or LED lights?

do you still love stuffed animals?

most important thing in your life?

what do you want most in the world right now?

if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

what would you say to your future self?

favorite piece of clothing?

what’s something you do to de-stress?

what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

what movie would you want to live in?

which character would you want to be?

hugs or hand-holding?

morning, afternoon or night?

what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

[museofaesthetics]

in the mood to cleanse my whole life

[amorosi-deactivated20220605]

I never craved peace like I do now. I don’t wanna wake up bothered, angry, bitter, no negative energy or thoughts. I just want to be happy and at peace with everything

[guardedgold]

2021 recap.

I have completely fallen off tumblr but there’s something I just enjoy about the annual recap so here we are.

January: Spent a lot of time at the ski condo. Rang in new years there with a bunch of people I wasn’t all that thrilled to see. Got a job at Blue Moon Bakery and worked 2 days a week there as a baker. I felt very incompetent at the start and messed up 100 different things but slowly got used to it and had a good time practicing Spanish with my mexican coworkers. Went on a few dates with a girl from Peru and got to practice more Spanish. Also went on a few dates with a girl who played ball for CU. Had fun just getting to know them no strings attached. Took a ski lesson and tried skiing a few times on the bunny hill. It was fun but maybe not for me. Went out with my coworker Reena for a wine night which was really nice. It was hard making friends.

February: More bakery. More work at the shelter. More dates with Peru and bball girl. Started talking to another Hawaiian from tinder (smh I love Hawaiians). More ski condo parties. Got my covid vaccine with almost no side effects- yay! Went on a first date with the Hawaiian to My Neighbor Felix (a mexican place) and had a great time. Drove down to the Springs and went out with her and her friends 2 days later. Cut off the other 2 girls and started seeing Anu all the time. Lost some weight from getting a stomach bug and felt great after. 

March: Same old. Spent lots of time with Anu. Drove home for my birthday and rented a cabin with my St. Joes girls, emma, and annie. Got WAY too drunk and almost lost a friend. Crazy blizzard hit Denver and had a fun snow day with Anu. Felt driven crazy by my roommates hoarder tendencies. 

April: Ski condo and bakery wrapped up. Went to a few rockies games with Anu and Brandon. Had a fun day in the sun day drinking and scootering around denver with them. Spent Easter at the condo where Jessica threw a fun party. Lots of time with Anu. Flew to Myrtle Beach to spend a weekend with the St. Joes girls to celebrate Taylor’s 30th bday. Had lots of fun. 

May: More time with Anu. Picked up a lot of mulch and watched the Kentucky Derby with Jessica’s friends. Flew to Knoxville for Andrew’s wedding and got to spend a few days in Nashville with the ol 324 gang. More rockies games and nights out with Anu. Went to the Springs to visit Anu’s family a few times. Got a haircut and the man chopped off a TON. Went to top golf with An’s fam and Brandon. Bought plane tickets to visit Hawaii for thanksgiving 

June: Lots of work, hanging out with Anu/Brandon, Yudeli moved out and I moved to the smaller room, weather was really nice. Went to Country Jam with Emma and Anu and had an....interesting experience lmao. Never again but maybe again. Went to the lesbian bar a few times. Unblocked S for whatever dumb reason and she messaged me. We talked a bit and facetimed once. It was weird. I wasn’t sure what to feel. I felt validated that she had reached out I think? But the whole thing felt like dipping my toe back in a dangerous pool. 

July:  Flew home for the 4th. Had fun hanging with the cousins. Met my new niece Melody. Erin came to visit which caused a ton of drama with Anu but it all ironed out in the end and I think Erin had fun. Played mini golf in the Springs with Calen and Anu. Gained 10 lbs and felt like shit about my appearance. Talked to S on and off every few weeks. 

August: Put in my notice at Samaritan House after they refused to let a lesbian couple stay. Fuck. That. Interviewed and was hired with DHS child support. Flew to the Outer Banks to spend a weekend with Steph, Astrid, and Alex (the old Granada Crew). It flew by but was fun minus getting stung by a stingray!!! Started my new job. It was a lot of training and a LOT of hours listening to a Trumper rant. Not ideal. Flew home for Carly’s bachelorette party which was a good time. Got a limo and toured wineries with a lot of old friends. Went to the MN State fair with Annie and Emma. Love the fair always.

September: Drove down to Santa Fe with Anu for a weekend. Camped for a night in an A frame tiny cabin and woke up to beautiful views. Santa Fe was a good time and we learned we can travel together and not murder each other. Anu’s sister got a pitbull puppy and we agreed to dog sit for a week. I am never getting a puppy. It cried 24/7 and would not sleep in its crate. Lots of sleep was lost! More training for work. Went to the Denver meow wolf with Megan. Anu’s sister and Calen moved into their new giant house so we started spending lots of weekends there with them. Flew to Minnesota for Carly’s wedding. Had a good time minus a botched makeup job and a pretty brutal hangover. 

October: Spent more weekends in the Springs. Lots of training for work. Started hitting the gym a lot to prep for Hawaii. Was proud of myself for all the workouts but didn’t lose much weight. Flew to MN again for Melisa’s bday party. She had a party bus and we bar hopped a bit. Was good to see the girls. Planned to get a drink with S but it just fell through. Decided it wasn’t a good idea to try to be friends after seeing how upset it made Anu and cut it off again. Went to a fall festival and corn maze with Anu. Told my roommates I was moving out in January to live with Anu which caused an abundance of drama. Was very stressed. 

November: Tons of gym sessions to prep for HI. More weekends in the Springs and more work training with the most irritating Trumpy man. Went to the zoo with ALisha and Calen. Saw David Nail at a cool venue for brandon’s birthday. Flew to Hawaii! Was anxious about the 6.5 hour flight but it ended up fine. Had an interesting trip. I got a brutal cold halfway through and everyone was irritated at Brandon but otherwise fun was had. Got to meet Anu’s whole family. Definitely want to go back minus Brandon and the cold. 

December: Flew home from Hawaii. Felt like shit the whole flight so luckily was in first class so I could panic at the turbulence in peace. Came home to the house in chaos for Jessica’s cookie party. Went to the party with Anu and the house did not fall down. Increasingly irritated with the roommates and so excited to move out. 

Aaaand that’s all! The year went by very quickly. I don’t feel like I did much but when I look back I was on a plane almost every other week through the spring, summer, and fall. Looking forward to a cozy winter and maybe some run road trips in the spring! Happy 2022!

[rodrickheffeley]

why do i need to come out ? if you still think im straight then that's on you

[transparentstickers]

1978 Richard Scarry Stickers

[sandmoonyelse]

Forest poetry…

[makeuphall]

[bxbybrat]

I wanna be wearing lingerie picked out for me as I tip toe around the kitchen making your coffee and breakfast in the morning as you watch me and then finger fuck me on the kitchen counter