New Years Eve with Anu's sister and bro and friends in the Springs. Flight to MN got cancelled from snow/fog so hung out with Anu. Had date night at Kini's. Went to Minnesota for Christmas with Anu. Got facials and massages, ice skated with Carly, etc. Bekkah and Maggie came to Denver to visit and we had a chill fun time. Fought with Anu a lot and didn't know if we would stick it out.
Golden retriever festival with Lindsay, Megan, Rachel. Made Valentines cards at Jessicas Galentines party. Catsat for Evie and she cried all night long and we did not sleep. Went to the Blue Moon employee party and got very very drunk. Super fun night out in the Springs at the Cowboy themed bar. Signed lease for me and Anu's new apartment at Vail's building and was excited but apprehensive.
Got my hair dyed for the first time in ages. Saw JBoog in concert and had so much fun. Celebrated my bday working at the Moon and moving with Anu's family. Moved into our new apartment and it was an adjustment but we loved it. Emma flew into town and we drove to Arizona. Had an amazing time visiting the national parks and exploring. Tried sake, saw the world's largest pistachio, and stayed in an earth hogan. Planned trip to Oktoberfest and Yacht week.
Hung out at Holly's pool a lot. Dog sat for Tank in the Springs for a week when he had kennel cough- super stressful but it was nice to have alone time in a big house. Drove to Vegas for Melisa's bachelorette and had a weekend of severe stomach pain and cramps, but also a ton of fun.
Saw Maoli and Kolohe Kai in concert. Amazing night. Went home to MN and met up with Annie and saw her daughter, was in Melisa's wedding. Got my wisdom teeth out after stressing about it for MONTHS and it was easy and totally fine lol. Ignored all the aftercare rules and went out to Charlies where I got my wallet stolen and someone used all my credit cards to spend tons of money on Mexican food. Smh. Went to a Havana Nights themed party at Jessica's. Lots of stomach aches/stomach problems all spring. Kept working at Blue Moon. My mom's cancer came back and she started chemo.
Was so excited for summer aaaand promptly got bronchitis and was dying for like 3 weeks. Carly's dad passed away. Drove up to Minnesota and spent a week at the cabin with Emma. Started trying to get in shape for Yacht week. Stressed about this all summer long but never lost any weight for it despite tons of workout classes and runs. Had girls night at Grizzly Rose with Jessica. Missed the pride parade because my stomach was so upset (common theme of 2023.) It hailed a TON this month. Saw the Head and the Heart at Red Rocks for the 2nd time.
Spent 4th of July with my Blue Moon friends and it was so fun. Reena moved to Texas so we went to her going away party and saw Liz from Samaritan House. Prepped for yacht week- lots of hot pilates, runs, walks, shopping, stressing badly about money. Got tboned while driving and my car was totaled. Annoyed because I had no car but it was nice that she hit me on the way to my oil change and with a flat tire instead of coming home! Emma had to put Bailey down. Fought with Anu bad after she was rude to Jessica's man when he walked me to my car to be nice. Almost broke up but Anu convinced me to try to work it out. Went to the cabin with my St. Joes girls. It went by fast and there was a lot of talk about people's pets and babies. Felt a little like I couldn't relate but had fun anyways.
Prep for Yacht week. Lots of nerves and stress. Flew to Iceland and then London and got to explore London for a day. Flew to Croatia and felt horrible on the plane with the worst bloating ever. Stressed all night the night before the yacht and considered bailing but pushed myself to go anyways and had.....sometimes fun? I wasn't a huge fan of most of the people on the boat, they weren't all that friendly (except for a few of the guys) and Jessica was giving weird pick me vibes at times but it was BEAUTIFUL and I felt like I got past my raging anxiety so I was proud. After yacht week I flew to Madrid and spent one night there. I'm dying to go back, it felt good to be there. Then flew to Ibiza and met up with Emma P and Jessica for a girls weekend. We stayed at a nice hotel, went to Kygo (amazing show), lounged by the pool drinking sangria, etc. It was great. Fought with Anu the entire trip- it was so stressful. She felt neglected and anxious about me being gone or cheating or idk what, it was just so draining to constantly be "in trouble." I flew home and had lost like 8 lbs and was thrilled.
Was home for a week after Europe, then flew up to MN for the fair and cabin. Had a nice time, saw family, Anu came, etc. Started doing even more hot pilates and yoga. Anu went out of town for a weekend on a bachelorette party and I was excited to chill solo at home. Unfortunately, something fucked up went down. I went to a party at Jessica's to watch football and blacked out. Ended up at a bar where a creepy dude wouldn't leave me alone and for some reason I started dancing with him and then eventually.....let him come back to Jessica's with me. After saying no 100 times but also kissing him and standing with him out on the street at bar close. Jessica and everyone had left, she says I was leaving with them but then disappeared and somehow ended up back with that guy. Things happened and it tore me to pieces. I told Anu and it tore her to pieces. I couldn't function so i cancelled my trip to Oktoberfest with Emma and hated disappointing her. The rest of the month was a blur of not eating, crying, feeling miserable and disgusting, worrying about if I had caught something, wondering wtf to do in my relationship, etc etc etc. Anu and I decided to try to move past it. I cut 6 inches off my hair (clear sign of a mental breakdown) and got a 3rd job (another sign). Started working a ton at a taco place and made a ton of cash. My aunt came to town and we saw a Rockies game. It was hard to hide how sad I was and how angry Anu was from everyone. Didn't drink for weeks which felt nice and worked out a ton. Lost more weight from stress.
Anu's friends Beth and Andy got married. The wedding was in Breck and it was absolutely beautiful. I was terrified to see Anu's fam and friends after what happened but it was fine. Got extremely drunk at the wedding and had a horrific hangover. Hiked the Manitou Incline, one of my Colorado bucket list things I had wanted to do. Went to spin class a few times. Lots of work and fighting with Anu. Lots of crying.
Quit my 3rd job because business slowed down and it wasn't worth it. Went to a 7am yoga class and felt so healthy lol. Spent a lot of money trying to feel happy. Test drove some cars and started car hunting. Spent thanksgiving with Tara and Seb which was cute. Got a christmas tree and decorated the apartment. Felt a little better and didn't cry so much but still felt horrible and guilty.
Went to Casa Bonita for Kevin's bday. Flew up to MN to see fam and hang with friends. So far has been fun but very stressful because Anu is mad that I'm away and feels I don't spend enough time with her. My dad got COVID so have been semi quarantined to the house for the last few days, just hoping I don't get it too. Bought a truck! The rest of the month will hopefully just be working, finding a therapist, and Christmas.
This year was overall just.....stressful. It felt like Anu was mad at me constantly and I couldn't make her happy. I had lots of doubts about our relationship. I was stressed about money, being sick (constant stomach issues), my wisdom teeth, yacht week, the thing that happened in September, etc etc etc. It just felt like a lot of difficult and challenging moments. However, I am super proud of myself for pushing past my anxiety on my trip. I'm also super proud of all the workouts I did and new workout classes I've tried. I feel like I'm genuinely getting stronger and feeling good. I went on some fun trips and made some good memories. I took care of my health and my teeth.
My general goals for this year are to:
Do more social activities that don't involve alcohol (yoga with friends, afternoon tea, spin, sober dinners, etc.)
Have more friends over to the apartment to just hang out.
Figure out what needs to change in my relationship and determine if it's salvageable.
Save $100 a month in a savings account (starting small here lol).
Really learn what foods feel good to me and what foods I need to avoid.
Have a year of CALM and zen and just doing what feels good and right.