People shout when they feel unheard, cry when they feel unloved, and goes silent when they become jaded, hopeless and hurt...
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People shout when they feel unheard, cry when they feel unloved, and goes silent when they become jaded, hopeless and hurt...
ME
TL;DR
Part 1
This is what happens to a person when harm becomes environment instead of incident, and how many people will help maintain it as long as they aren’t the one bleeding. Think less “healing journey,” more autopsy report on the kinds of humans who can look directly at suffering and still ask the victim to keep their voice down— who am I kidding, you know exactly what you do. -----
This is an assault.
Not the kind people recognize quickly enough.
That would require pattern recognition.
And most people mistake escalation for surprise.
Read that again. Slower.
This Beast, Grief didn’t find me.
It was already there when I opened my eyes. That matters.
Because people love the idea of monsters that arrive.
Something external. Something obvious. Something you can point at after the damage and say:
there. that.
Clean. Contained. Fucking convenient.
But Grief was already breathing through the floorboards. The house knew it first.
Children usually do. Adults wait for proof.
Children learn trajectory. Learn weather. Learn which version of a parent just walked through the door by the weight of footsteps alone.
Learn silence is rarely empty. Learn “calm” and “safe” are not synonyms.
That one should probably save some of you a few years.
Most people think violence is the danger. Amateur mistake.
Violence is loud. Permission usually isn’t. That’s the terrifying part.
Nobody thinks they’re helping build the cage.
They just keep handing it fucking nails.
And every room has people holding hammers swearing they’re innocent because they never swung first.
Did you catch that part? That’s alright.
Most people miss the architects while staring at the wreckage.
I learned early that honesty changed the temperature of a room.
You could feel it. The pause. The recalculation. The tiny shift between: we know and don’t say that here.
Children notice this shit. Not because they’re wise. Because they have to.
Because survival is pattern recognition with consequences.
Because once you learn love can turn without warning
your nervous system starts studying teeth. And hands. And doors. And breathing.
Especially breathing. Notice yours? Mine too.
That’s the fucked part. The body adapts.
Learns which sounds mean leave. Which silences mean stay quiet. Which smiles have teeth behind them.
Don’t confuse adaptation with safety.
Tumors adapt too.
Did that feel cruel? Good. Now you’re paying attention.
People love calling children “mature” when what they mean is:
easy to consume.
Quiet. Helpful. Hyperaware. Already apologizing before entering rooms.
That one should bother more of you.
A child should not know how to scan a face faster than a fucking exit route.
But survival rewrites priorities.
By then I already knew: anger had footsteps. grief had weather. love had conditions.
And every room came with rules nobody said out loud.
You just learned them or got hurt.
That’s the part people keep missing.
They think survival looks heroic. Like fighting. Like screaming. Like refusing.
Sometimes it does. Sometimes survival looks like becoming exactly manageable enough to keep the room stable.
Smaller. Quieter. Easier to explain away.
i loved it!
LEARN TO LIVE
(this poem is a very old one, i wrote it when i was younger, i might have improved by now, maybe, but this is just an avg..)
Learn to believe in yourself,
When the world is doubting,
Learn to be calm,
When they are shouting
Learn to give in,
When they ask you to give up,
Work, and work harder
While they are partying in the club.
Learn to be kind,
When they are being blind,
Learn to be bold,
When they are losing your hold..
Learn to respect others,
Regardless of gender and age,
Learn from new experiences,
And convert yourself in a sage.
Learn to smile,
Even in your misery
And that day won't be far,
When you will
get your deserving treasury
HARD EARNED APPLAUSE
With the tiredness of hardwork that never ceases,
With the pain of taunts that never eases,
With the discourageness faced everyday which is hard to bear,
With the mocking sounds of others which she everyday hears.
She works, controlling all the pain and tears in her eyes,
Because she knows that success is the world in which true beauty lies.
Taking a deep breath,
she steps in the thorny world of fame,
Pushing herself to achieve her ambitious aim.
She hesitated to move,
knowing she could get hate,
But then finally encouraged herself,
To try once, her fate..
Finally she encouraged herself,
to try once her feet,
She showcased her talent,
her skills were neat!
With every step,
she claims her rightful place,
And shines her light,
In the darkest space..
She stood there nervously,
and showed the world her creation,
She was shaking due to nervousness,
but the crowd gave her a standing ovation!
She got happy,
realising she had got what she deserved,
It all happened because she stood against her fears,
WHICH THE WORLD ACTUALLY LOVED!
LIFE
Sometimes it's depressing,
Sometimes it's sad.
Sometimes it's hard,
And you might think it's bad.
Sometimes it's confusing,
Along with all the friends you are losing.
Sometimes it's so worse,
That it feels like a curse.
Sometimes it's full of darkness,
When you lose all your sparkness,
And there are times when you think,
WHAT KIND OF LIFE DO YOU HAVE?
But sometimes it can be high,
With your spirits up in the sky.
Sometimes it can just heal,
If you rest and let yourself feel.
Somethingmight be stupid,
Which might bring you joy.
Sometimes the truth is so hard,
That it might make you cry.
Sometimes it's forgiving,
But you forget that life is for living.
And sometimes you just try,
To survive the days anyhow.
At the end of the day,
Whatever you do, life is precious.
So live for those who care 'bout you,
And for food so delicious..<3
I met a woman,
soft,
patient,
intelligent.
I met a heart,
compassionate,
kind,
but broken.
I met a soul,
loving,
beautiful,
but guarded.
I met a pair of eyes,
soft,
tender,
but sharp.
___________
I met someone,
who faced the world
with bare hands,
and an innocent age,
AND STILL WON!
The things that happened to her,
made her unbreakble ,
more than she needed to be..
made her wary,
more than she ever wanted to be..
And the things that happened,
broke her,
more than she deserved to be...
But she is strong.
Not because she survived it,
But because,
she showed it to the world.
Not because she "bled politely"
but because,
she was bold enough
to hold out her scars
(even the ones
which hurt her the most)
to show it to the world.
she went through the worst things
the undeserved things
but she still CHOSE to be a human
rather than a villian,
with a dark past,
and sad story.
I want her life
to be heard everywhere,
even in states unborn,
and accents yet unknown,
So that she might be heard
and so that
people might know
that experiencing hell
was never a choice,
but making someone
experience it,
IS..
FOR ME,
she is the strongest person ever,
not for bleeding,
but for showing the red with agony...
Teenage girl thoughts.
I know I am too thin,
and even when I'm fat.
I know when I get comfortable,
or uneasy like a scared cat.
I don't want to look down,
while someone's scanning my body
and staring at my soul.
Why can't they mind their business,
and keep their eyes in control?
Are their eyes beyond their control?
I don't want to be scared of the creeps,
I want to roam freely around the streets.
I want to grow up so badly,
so I can have money and fame,
but at the same time,
my heart wants time to slow
and become a child again.
I don't want to be in a relationship,
but I really want to be loved.
I feel like my chosen friends
are better than my relatives by blood.
Some of my classmates
are falling in love at every sight,
and here my hormones
won’t give me have a single peaceful night.
I don't really know how to react during this time,
I don't really know how to react to any of this,
I get a lot of mood swings,
sadness,
depression,
mind full of rage.
I can't understand my brain,
nor can I express a single feeling,
I don't know what to do,
and it is so confusing.
Maybe that's why
we call it "teenage dealing".
THE VOICE INSIDE ME
"You will fail, don't do it, it's so hard,"
speaks someone invisible, sitting beside me,
These were my perceptions, until I realized, it was the voice inside me.
If you know you are useless, why do you hide?
Are you really trying to believe, that someone will be at your side?
Mock me someone invisible, sitting beside me,
until I realized, it was the voice inside me.
Now my head tangled with thoughts, my heart ached with fury.
"STOP", I finally cried,
"I hate this", I muttered and sighed.
But then I suddenly froze, and opened my eyes,
my heart beating faster, as I realized,
that the voice inside me sometimes gets so high, that the fear in my mind gets anigh..
I realized, I need a voice, serene and calm,
so that I could get up with tranquility,
and allow the peace to be warm.
"It's alright, be strong, you will win."
" Don't worry, that was just a thought, not a sin."
Comforted me someone invisible, sitting beside me,
But I got shocked when I realized,
this was also the voice inside me
"Forget it, it's not that much of a big deal
just close your eyes and let your heart feel"
"Everyone can't be satisfied with the things you do.
If they don't care about your happiness, why do you?
Heals my heart, someone invisible, sitting beside me.
And YES, you guessed it right, it was also the voice inside me...
-me
When I feel alone, I hold my emotions tight, When I feel alone, I forget what's wrong and what's right. When I feel alone, I lock myself in the dark, When I feel alone, my eyes loses all it's spark.
When I feel alone, I try to let myself feel, As if the silence and the dark would let my heart heal. When I feel alone, I just widh the day to get brighter, When I feel alone, I really want someone to hug me tighter..
Everyone is at my side, But no one's really beside me. Sometimes I feel so alone, That I think there's no light to guide me..
The acknowledgement, the praises And the whole world seems to be gone, My heart tries not to sob loudly, When I feel alone.......