𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙷𝙾𝙻𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝙽?

ɢᴜɪʟᴛ ɪs ᴘᴇʀʜᴀᴘs ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴘᴀɪɴғᴜʟ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀɴɪᴏɴ ᴏғ 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡.

[justinsjensen]

[guiltburys]

eroir​,  ᴄʟᴀʏ ᴊᴇɴsᴇɴ.

𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑬          𝑻𝑶          𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑬          𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯          𝑫𝑰𝑺𝑺𝑶𝑪𝑰𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵             ,             frozen             in             time             ,             terrified             of             own             actions               ,               desperately               searching               for               freedom               𝚝𝚘               𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚎               𝚝𝚑𝚎               𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜               𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚠𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐               𝚞𝚙               𝚑𝚒𝚜               𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚎               before               he               drowns               within               (               𝐀𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐃               𝐓𝐎               𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄               𝐈𝐍               ,               𝐓𝐎               𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒               𝐓𝐇𝐄               𝐄𝐗𝐈𝐓               ).               fear               controls               own               thoughts. 

❛                    𝒘𝒉𝒐                𝒂𝒓𝒆                𝒚𝒐𝒖                ?                my                mom                ?                    ❜                anger                within                voice                he                doesn’t                recognize                (                𝐀                𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐊                𝐎𝐅                𝐀                𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑                𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐒                𝐄𝐗𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃                𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐒                )                    ─                    head                  buried                  in                  darkness.                  [                  there’s                  blood                  on                  your                  hands                  &                  they                  know                  ].                  heart                  split                  open                  ,                  pressing                  hard                  against                  shaking                  ribcage                  trying                  to                  escape                  this                  𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔦𝔤𝔫                  𝔟𝔬𝔡𝔶                  but                  is                  tied                  by                  veins                  &                  locked                  with                  arteries.                  𝐀                  𝐓𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑                  𝐎𝐅                  𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒                  ,                  voices                  shouting                  louder                  &                  he                  can                  hear                  own                  heartbeat                  slowly                  exploding                  within                  self.                  harsh                  embrace                  of                  shoulder                  against                  shoulder                   accompanied                   by                   a                   push                  ,                  figure                  moves                  forward                  with                  clouds                  blurring                   the                   view.                    ❛                     𝑤𝘩𝑦                   𝑎𝑟𝑒                   𝑦𝑜𝑢                   𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛                   𝘩𝑒𝑟𝑒                   ?                    ❜                    

i’m here because i care about you.   because i’d do anything for you.    they were weighted sentences that carried his whole sense of purpose,    maybe there were some THEATRICS involved &  that’s all he could register because of that sense of profound devotion that clouded his rear judgement.   hannah baker’s tapes had been the WREAKING BALL,   the catalysis to where they had chosen to end up & ultimately be their undoing.    clay jensen,   who had once been liberty high’s seeker of justice & the truth was that consequential impact.   justin didn’t believe in higher callings,   he didn’t believe in religious notions of retribution but maybe that’s all they would continue to be --- one mistake after another.   they were all damaged goods,   & clay had held up for all of them before,  but they had stepped over the line this time.   they had gone from a couple of kids covering up the truth to a dead girl’s suicide to a literal homicide murder that had even in postmortem had found it’s way to the surface which perhaps was the literal reason why his brother was trying to irresponsibly find destructive ways to unwind.     ❛ how the fuck should i know clay? ❜   justin’s hands are brought up dramatically as the response he delivers feels exasperated.  he’s tired of it all,  this was an all too familiar scenario that he had become acquainted with at this point.

 while weed wasn’t exactly the worst kind of substance these days,   it tended to screw with one’s stellar reputation.  it was no different than the times he had to deal with his mom RELAPSING every time she announced herself clean,  or the times where all the money that should have gone into food & bills went into meth & other botanical substances that arose his own sense of interest at some point.   this was just a party,   a party that would feel like a daze a hundred times over but for now he had to maintain his own sanity,   that didn’t mean he wasn’t just about fed up with all of this.    ❛ frankly,  i don’t know why i even bother. ❜    it was official at this point,  he needed a drink or some other substance to wash away any recollection of this unchanging nightmare.

[guiltburys]

eroir​,  ᴄʟᴀʏ ᴊᴇɴsᴇɴ.

𝑳𝑨𝒀𝑰𝑵𝑮          𝑶𝑵          𝑩𝑬𝑫             ,            dust            settling            within            lungs            (            barely            breathing              )                      ─                    woke              up              by              a              call              of              his              mind              [              𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘’𝐑𝐄              𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆              ,              𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘’𝐑𝐄              𝐎𝐍              𝐓𝐇𝐄              𝐖𝐀𝐘               !              ]           ,          voices                locked                within                walls                of                his                brain                while                 everyone                 else                 are                 on                 the                 other                 side.                  𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍                 𝐓𝐎                 𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋                 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃                   ?                   guilt                   feels                   distinct                   within                   chest                   ,                    𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔰𝔥                   𝔦𝔫𝔫𝔢𝔯                   𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔫                   𝔰𝔩𝔦𝔠𝔦𝔫𝔤                   𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔞𝔫𝔰                   𝔞𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱                   ,                   dull                   ache                   within                   head                     all                     covered                     by                     sudden                     neglect                     of                     memories                   with                   only                   a                   minor                   oversight                   of                   previous                   night’s                   events                   regardless                   how                   hard                   he                   tries                   to                   think          ,          𝚝𝚑𝚎          𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚛                 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚜                 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎                 𝚊𝚋𝚍𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗 .                  

❛                    can              we              uh                     ─                    𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘                𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡                𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑠                 ?                 DID                 YOU                     ─                     ?                      ❜

*                    (                    𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍          𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐘          ,          starter.

his instincts were ready to bite,    say some more regrets  that would bring forth more ISOLATION to their fragile states of mind.   god knows,  clay needed therapy.   he probably did too,  but justin tended to have this mentality where his own needs were put on hold to cater to others.  it was a twisted  mindset brought on with his mother,  a DESPERATE PLEA to get them out of the situations she threw herself in.  in this case,   it was something more profound,  a sense of gratitude or loyalty that he felt was owed.  he knows clay didn’t mean the things he said last night,   he knows neither of them did but when people generally were so shattered,   the truth became more unclear & it was an easy feat to just believe the worst circumstances.    ❛ what is there to talk about? ❜   his tone is a snarl,   appearing more vindictive than intended but he can’t help it,   everyone has their breaking points --- all that bullshit about recovery,   it just made it easier to get through but maybe DESTINY was real & maybe their fate wasn’t going to be this blissful peace.  justin could only think of the darkness right now & it was pulling him under.  

❛ you said everything you needed to say last night.  maybe you were high or some shit but you have never ACCEPTED me into this family.  ❜  he’s reaching for his bed sheets with such force,   wanting to dive under & never come out,   but his eyes are direct & for the first time in months,  it feels satisfying to not be the obedient drone that complied with everyone’s petty requests.    

[eroir-deactivated20230404]

𝑨          𝑾𝑯𝑰𝑺𝑷𝑬𝑹            ,            𝑨            𝑷𝑳𝑬𝑨             ,            his            last            breath                          (                    i’ve            lost            control            again                    ).            he            begs            ,            he            cries            from            bleeding            lips                          (                           𝐇𝐄            𝐖𝐎𝐍’𝐓            𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓                          ).            hands            shaking            ,            eyes            gleaning            ,            mouth            trembling                          [                           𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙴            !                          ].                         he            nods            hiding            tears            ,            protecting            inner            voices                     ─                    𝔸ℝ𝔼              𝕐𝕆𝕌              𝔸𝔽ℝ𝔸𝕀𝔻              𝕆𝔽              𝕐𝕆𝕌ℝ𝕊𝔼𝕃𝔽               ?

highly              selective              &              mutually              exclusive              𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐘              𝐉𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐍               FROM              𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑬𝑵              𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑺              𝑾𝑯𝒀               (              mainly              season              four              based              with              personal              headcanons              )              ,              saved              by              ʟᴇᴀ .                              [                               𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑              𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆              !                              ]              #eroir

[guiltburys]

eroir​,   ᴄʟᴀʏ ᴊᴇɴsᴇɴ.

𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑳𝑬𝑺𝑺          𝑾𝑨𝑹          𝑰𝑵𝑺𝑰𝑫𝑬          𝑯𝑰𝑺          𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫                     (                    justice          versus          revenge            ,            blurred            lines            betwixt            right            or            wrong.            𝔴𝔢𝔞𝔭𝔬𝔫            𝔬𝔣            𝔥𝔦𝔰            𝔱𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔲𝔢             delivers            words            that            cut            own            heart            ,            fighting            inner            battles            to            set            free            from            the            fog            of            his            mind.

❛                     𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐇          ,            they            never            trusted            you            𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡𝑠            𝑤𝘩𝑦             they            drug            tested            you.                     ❜

*                     (                     𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍              𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐘               ,              starter.

it was really hard for his mind not to comply with the very words that had been etched in so deep the moment the word  ‘ ADOPTION ’ has registered deep beneath his subconscious,  & for a while the very thought was something that with ease had begun to feel normal.   he knew that clay hadn’t meant what he said --- lately,  shit had it’s ways of losing control.   maybe it had something to do with their cover up of an actual murder,   perhaps things were evidently so clear now in their minds that nothing could ever feel secure or border lining across content.   maybe this was their life now,   & things were just supposed to get worse before reaching the finish line,   whatever that meant.       ❛ dude --- ❜   justin’s voice remained composed,   slowly withering away into cracks,   trying so hard to fight the abyss that threatened to take over.   ❛ do you even hear yourself?  fuck this,   we’re going home!  ❜  he snarls back,   finding that aggressive edge that he had long ago abandoned when turning over a new leaf.   he doesn’t mean that.   he thinks,   but somehow his mind is betraying him.

[jesstinsource]

#well the writers sure didn’t 🙄

[cowboyhudsons]

2x12 // 4x01

[guiltburys]

parenoa​, ᴄʟᴀʏ ᴊᴇɴsᴇɴ.

//          @guiltburys           𝐇𝐀𝐒          𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐃          ;           ❝      maybe it’s better this way.      ❞

𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐓          𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖          𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒          𝐎𝐅          𝐎𝐖𝐍           mind          anymore          /          CAN’T          PRETEND          through          all          the          untold          stories          ,          ʰᵘʳᵗᶠᵘˡ          ʷʰᶤˢᵖᵉʳˢ          &          ᵈᵉᶜᵉᵖᵗᶤᵛᵉ          ᵐᶤᶰᵈ .          trying          to          build          own          true          self          but          tormenting          voices          r e f u s e          to          let          go          ,          it          𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖇𝖘           own          thinking          [          ˡᶤᵏᵉ          ᵃ          ᵐᵒᵘˡᵈ          ᵗᵒ          ʰᶤˢ          ᵇʳᵃᶤᶰ           making          his          soul          𝖖𝖚𝖎𝖛𝖊𝖗           ,          stinging          above          spine          ,          growing          upon          lungs          ].          watering          own          𝖋𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖘           that          keeps          locking          him          back          into          𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖐𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖘           ,          unraveled          truth          storms          above          winding          roads          of          own          nerves          &          there’s          no          turning          back          ,          no          matter          how          hard          he          tries          ,          inner          terror          controls          him          &          all          he          can          do          is          watch          &          stare          allowing          𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖎𝖆           to          drag          him          around          like          living          puppet.           ❛          h          ━━           h o w          could          that          be          𝖇𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗           ?          ❜          narrow          of          brows          in          visible          frustration          ,          diamond          gaze          focused          above          own          brother.          heart          beats          faster          ,          trying          to          erase          ˢʰᵃᵗᵗᵉʳᶤᶰᵍ          ᵍˡᵃˢˢ          ᶠˡᵒʷᶤᶰᵍ          ᶤᶰ          ᵇˡᵒᵒᵈˑ           dry          skin          &          weary          eyes          ,          running          away          from          fears          (          from          himself          ).          he          wants          to          hide          in          unknown          places          &          cover          up          his          ears          to          avoid          m o n s t e r s          within          voices          pulling          him          ᵃᵇᵒᵛᵉ          ᵗʰᵉ          ᵉᵈᵍᵉ          ᵒᶠ          ᵈᵉᵃᵗʰˑ           hands          rests          above          own          temple          carrying          shattering          brain          that          cause          pounding          ache.          ❛          s o m o n e          ,          &          by          someone          i          mean          winston          ,          or          ━━           diego          &          those          guys          ,          anyway          ,          𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲          𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰          𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 .          ❜          words          jump          down          his          lips          in          a          rush          ,          it’s          necessary          to          remind          own          mind          to          𝖇𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍𝖊           as          throat          is          filled          with          𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖛𝖞          𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓 .          ❛          what          if          we          get          sick          ?          fake          sick          ,          i          mean.          then          my          mom          would          probably          stay          at          home          too          &           ━━          𝐧𝐨 .          that          would          look          suspicious.           ❜

 he’s trying really hard to not to burst into an onset of chuckles right now.   it was hard enough usually not be tempted to find clay’s outline of a plan comical but he had since learnt the art of restraint when appropriate.   at least when it came to dealing with his brother’s uptight issues.  justin hated camping.  that wasn’t a lie,  the last time he remembered going camping was with the walkers,   he and bryce were seven or eight and his family was ‘nice’ enough to let him bring along the white trash.    a senior camping trip would be no different,  it got cold at night in the woods that only further reminded him of the sleepless nights he spent at the hands of his mom’s boyfriends.  he hated tents too,  and sleeping bags.  they were cold,  itchy and usually resulted in severe back pains at the broad stroke of daylight.  to sum things up ;  he’d happily agree to clay’s ditch plan if it wasn’t for the obvious flaw present.   ❛ isn’t it lainies job to read between the lines?  nothing gets past her & last time i checked,   we’ve been fairly decent actors at best. ❜   somehow,  he can just picture clay in DRAMA.  the low-key department at liberty would surely be appreciative of his brothers talents to over exaggerate every single DETAIL of his life.  that was just one of the many things about clay that justin had learnt to tolerate.  several years back,   that wouldn’t have even been the case at the start of their high school career --- he’d more than likely still be a bully and someone who’d torment social outcasts to no end while compared to now --- THERE WASN’T ANYTHING HE WOULDN’T DO FOR HIS BROTHER.  even lie.  they’ve lied so many times to matt and lainie.  that was the scary thing,   how easily their parents had not caught the signs.   did that make them neglectful or were their buried secrets just that hidden away from the world?  justin hated that feeling.   he hated having to sell the narrative that he was fine.  nothing about this was fine.  that much he knew,  and eventually,   the truth would have it’s way of coming back to the surface.   ❛ how would they know anyway?  ani was careful with her story,  we all made sure that shit was handled and the cops believed us,  right?  ❜  shit was far from handled.  this much he knew ;  with every new revelation,  his RECOVERY was falling deeper into a hole that he couldn’t climb out of.  it certainly didn’t help that diego was apparently a snake,  getting handsy with jessica and gloating all about it.   ❛ look --  if anything,   we’d look suspicious now if we didn’t go. ❜ 

[midsommars-deactivated20201109]

[guiltburys]

crownedguilt​, ᴀʟᴇx sᴛᴀɴᴅᴀʟʟ.

i’m not leaving you here.    /    @guiltburys​

HE’S  NOT  SURE  WHAT  APPOINTMENT  THIS  IS ,    but   it   feels   like   his     seven -  hundredth.          &     he’s   honestly    exhausted.         he’s    made   tremendous   progress,      &    that’s    good.       but   the   threat   of   regression   is   there.       they   used  to  do  this.       rotate    to   help  his  family  take  him   to   his  appointments.       earlier   on.           but   this  time   was  different.      mom    on   the   late   shift     &     dad    on   patrol,       alex    was   walking   to  the  doctor’s   office.      &     before    he   knew  it,     justin   was   walking   next   to  him.       not   jess.     not   zach.     not   clay.        justin.         &     as   surprising   as   it   is,      hearing   those   words   brings   him   a  bit    of   comfort.       ❛     i   don’t   know   if   you’re   trying   to  prove   something                 ❜        he     hopes   not.        he   hopes    it’s   a   sign    that   maybe   they’re   better   friends   than   he  thought.      ❛    but   you   don’t   have   to  pretend   to   like   just   because   i   shot   myself.      ❜    

in a way,  that’s exactly what it was.   he wasn’t going to directly admit it but his thoughts would not BETRAY that sentiment.  alex would all around appreciate it if he was honest.  he was generally an upfront guy and it would certainly be a step-up from sneaking behind the boy’s back with pathetic lies to cover up his tracks but the time just wasn’t right to jump in with honesty,   especially since he was really trying to make up for it.  there was a time where justin could have considered alex standall a friend.  there was a time where the other boy by some moral code had chosen to open his doors when his close friends abandoned him,   not because he liked him or that he even considered justin an acquaintance at the time.   it was simply because he had needed his help,   justin hadn’t been thankful then.   he hadn’t even looked back on everything before he took off for the streets.   he wanted to just FORGET. his own reflection showed a man who was starting to get his life on track,  to try & be someone that his foster family didn’t just see as the screwed up kid they adopted out of self made pity.   ❛  i’m not.  ❜    justin simply states back,  his eyes brimming with an earnest gaze,   ❛ look,  I haven’t been there for you in the way that i should be,  y’know?  ❜   shit.  he sucks at words.  the funny thing is that these days he’s more sentimental & in touch with his feelings that in return gives the other jocks  solid ammunition to use against him.  it’s not something he fucking cares about.   ❛ and i want to be better friends.  i hate that we aren’t.   i know that for obvious reasons,  your trust level with me is wavering thin but that doesn’t mean i can’t make it up to you somehow. ❜

[guiltburys]

parenoa, ᴄʟᴀʏ ᴊᴇɴsᴇɴ.

𝐉𝐔𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓          𝐎𝐅          𝐎𝐖𝐍          𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒           ;          translating          brother’s          words          into          his          mind          now          filled          with          memories          of          the          night          he          took          justin          under          their          roof          of          𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓           &          how          everything          has          drastically          changed.          eyes          closed          to          the          truth          playing          in          his          head          [          HE          WANTS          TO          LIVE          WITH          HER          AGAIN          &          if          not          ,          he          is          going          to          ].           ━      ─          𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖙𝖞          &          𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖇𝖗𝖔𝖐𝖊𝖓           believing          own          inner          thoughts          ,          convinced          this          relationship          of          brothers          will          be          ɢᴏɴᴇ          ﹠          ғᴏʀɢᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ           within          weeks.          trying          to          diminish          the          urge          &          sound          of          inner          echoes          but          justin’s          words          are          stretched          all          over          temporal          lobe          leaving          stains          to          his          heart          &          c u t          inside          aching          muscles.          ❛          ahh          ,          come          on          ,          justin          !          she          wanted          to          see          how          you’re          doing          ?!          we          both          know          that’s          fucking          bullshit.          ❜          galaxies          in          lungs          𝖊𝖝𝖕𝖑𝖔𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖌           ,          drowning          in          hidden          jealousy          &          despair.          fragile          attention          focused          at          the          other          across          the          room          ,          collecting          further          meanings          of          words          sliding          down          justin’s          tongue          that          begin          to          𝖗𝖔𝖙           in          his          colon          ,          ᴛᴡɪsᴛɪɴɢ          ᴜᴘ          ɪɴsɪᴅᴇs           forcing          him          to          puke.          ❛          &          ?          did          you           ━      ─          did          you          give          her          money          ?          ❜          bending          the          lines          between          right          &          wrong          ,          trying          to          pass          own          mental          test          of          a          battle          between          𝖈𝖆𝖑𝖒𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖘          &          𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖌           versus          𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖎𝖆          &          𝖑𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖘.                     (          𝐓𝐎          𝐁𝐄          𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑          /          𝐓𝐎          𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄          𝐀          𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄          ;          𝐓𝐎          𝐁𝐄          𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐋           ).         ❛          jesus          ,          justin.          you          can          tell          me          anything          ,          you          know          that          ,          right          ?         𝖆𝖓𝖞𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 .          should          we            ━      ─         should          we          tell          mom          &          dad          ?            ❜                                          

no.  he does not want matt & lainie to know about it.   the immense GUILT he already feels just at the thought of it ---  the reality was that they wouldn’t mind.    they wouldn’t dare show the hurt to his face anyway but the fact of the matter was that they all resented her on his behalf.   to them,   the story was that she was dead-weight &  the main contribution to all the AGONY he had obtained at the hands of her many boyfriends.    his own mother had denied him a lifeline which resulted in turning to the streets for that chance.   justin didn’t have much of one before,   even with bryce --- things didn’t feel like some kind of hospitality.  settling in with the jensens made him finally realize that.   from an early age on justin had learnt that in order to survive this CRUEL WORLD one had to learn that nothing was for free & that everything had a price.  whether it was money or just the assurance that you were prepared to meet those demands in other ways.  having a warm bed & parents didn’t exactly exclude him from that.  there was love & the sanctity of an embrace with the his newfound family,  but even with them --- he felt like he was still on some kind of borrowed time.   that his RELAPSE wasn’t at the center of his own undoing.  they still needed him to put in that work & maybe that’s why his mother was easier now.  she felt like clarity,   a face that made sense in this void that he could not particularly crawl out of & not even clay or his parents could find some understanding because to anyone else,   the situation at hand was good or bad.   there was no in-between where what he had been & what he could be now could co-exist.   recovery wasn’t a two-way street,   his progress needed to be on a solid,  steady path.

flinching at the scolding,   glassy eyes wait for his brother to finish.   it makes him feel like deflecting,   finding anything to defend his mother from the foul words everyone associated with her but he also knew that his points wouldn’t exactly add up to much.     ❛  no,  i didn’t give her fuckin' money.  ❜   he quips back a response with clear annoyance.  he wasn’t an idiot.   giving his mother more money was a death sentence at this point,  he was delusional to think that being without seth would make her get her shit altogether.  it had actually made things worse for her,   she was still looking for ways to score & get by.  something that he was too familiar with.   you can tell me anything....  he softens at the assurance,   chewing at his bottom lip.    he should be able to tell clay anything but lately he wasn’t doing too well either.   ❛ just --- let me handle it,  okay? i don’t want your folks to make a big deal out of something that shouldn’t be a big deal to begin with.  ❜  he needs to give him something else,  something that will get them off the subject,  he attempts some feeble excuse to withdraw altogether,     ❛ i-i’ll stop seeing her.  you don’t have to worry about it.  ❜

[13rwhyedits]

1.12 | 3.12

[guiltburys]

ganapthishiva980​:

splattermemes​:

School-Related Sentence Starters

Everyday

“Did we have homework?”

“Please be my lab partner.”

“Can I borrow a pencil?”

“I really don’t want to talk in front of the whole class…”

“Can I copy off of you real quick?”

“Do you think the teacher is hot?”

“It’s not cheating. It’s just teamwork.”

“Do you think the new kid is hot?”

“Pretty sure the teacher is out to get me…”

“You are…so dumb…”

“Was Shakespeare gay?”

“Please tell me you didn’t start the project either.”

“If I do it at the last minute, then I’ll have a minute.”

“Can I borrow your notes?”

“This class is so boring…”

“Am I in the right classroom?”

“Someone drew a dick in my textbook.”

“Do you know where the nurse’s office is?”

“Someone put a picture of Shrek in my locker.”

“I can’t wait to graduate…”

“Meet me in the bathroom/gym/locker room later. I need to tell you something.”

Exams

“I forgot about the midterm.”

“I’m gonna FAIL.”

“Shut up! You always say you’re going to fail, and then you get an A.”

“Please help me study.”

“If I don’t pass, my parents are going to KILL me.”

“Do you ever think about how studying is just ‘student’ and ‘dying’ put together?”

“I live at the library now.”

“Do you need help with the chapter?”

“I don’t even know what I don’t know.”

“I’m afraid that they’ll revoke my scholarship.”

“I HAVE to be at the top of the class.”

“Do you even know how to read?”

“I don’t even get the Sparknotes…”

“Maybe I’ll be okay if I pick A for every answer…I have to get an A, right?”

“I don’t need to go to college anyway.”

“Sleep is for the weak.”

“I just did 200 practice problems. I forgot my own name.”

“I remember that shrimp can see more colors than we can, but I don’t remember the vocabulary words for the test.”

“Your notes are just doodles.”

Lunchtime

“What’s for lunch?”

“Please trade lunches with me.”

“I dare you to fling your peas at the principal.”

“There’s NO way I’m eating that.”

“All I have are skittles and an old Oreo.”

“I would kill for a taco right now.”

“Lunch is the only class I can do well in.”

“There’s pizza today.”

“Is that a bug in your sandwich?”

“Ugh, this is expired.”

“Is this seat taken?”

“I can’t eat that, I’m on a diet.”

“Did you make this?”

“If you give me a dollar, I’ll love you forever.”

“I made brownies.”

“Let’s eat outside today.”

“Do you think we could get pizza delivered to the school?”

“You’re in my seat.”

“These freshmen think that they can just take our table…”

Gym

“I can’t run for my life.”

“Don’t throw the ball at me!!”

“Why do you look so red?”

“I’m DYING.”

“It’s just sports! What could go wrong?”

“I can’t run anymore.”

“Your team is going DOWN.”

“Are you okay?!”

“You really suck at this, don’t you?”

“Think fast!”

“Is that the best you can do?”

“I dare you to race me.”

“I think the gym teacher is a supersoldier.”

Uniforms / Clothes

“I HATE these pants/skirts.”

“Do you think anyone would notice if I wore pajamas?”

“I haven’t washed my gym clothes in a week…”

“I should be allowed to wear whatever I want.”

“Can you believe they called my outfit ‘inappropriate’?!”

“I’m so sick of seeing (school color).”

“I wear this uniform in my dreams. I mean, in my nightmares.”

“Those are the most hideous shoes I’ve ever seen.”

“Do you think her/his girl/boyfriend got her that?”

“Did your boy/girlfriend really buy you that?”

“Class rings are overrated.”

“We should totally get matching hoodies.”

“What show/movie is your shirt from?”

“I can see your underwear.”

Detention

“Wanna skip?”

“I can’t believe I’m in here.”

“Welcome, prince(ss)! Is this your first time?”

“That teacher DESERVED to be cursed out, okay?”

“I didn’t even do anything wrong…”

“Fuck the police.”

“They put me in here just for being late…”

“Did you actually bash the principal’s car?”

“A little thing like you managed to beat the crap out of someone?”

“You look like you don’t belong in here.”

“This is prison.”

“I tried to stab a kid with a pencil.”

“They think I’ll learn my lesson in here? I’m going to do it again.”

“All I did was a little graffiti.”

“I’m taking a nap.”

[all-the-crackships]

Brandon Flynn as Justin Foley in 13 Reasons Why | 4x06

[guiltburys]

bakeir​, ʜᴀɴɴᴀʜ ʙᴀᴋᴇʀ.

her parents are going to kill her for skipping with clay and tony.   she’s out of the car after clay’s wrangled him.  she’d only woken up after the chaos from the tapes broke.  nobody knew whether she’d make it up to then.  hand shoots out and rests on arm softly , expression gone somber at the sight of him.  justin’s always held a soft place in her heart despite his two tapes.  “ hey.  hey,  it’s okay. ”  quiet plead, like she’s talking to a scared and feral animal.    “ will you listen to them for me ?  please , justin. ”

/  @guiltburys​

will he listen to them?   she actually has the audacity to ask that.   the reason why his answer was so contemplative was because he was a coward & he knew it.   he didn’t need a bunch of cassette tapes to EXPOSE his wrongdoings.  he feels sorry.   he knows he does but he was at a loss on how to process this newfound ordeal,   ❛  & what would be the fuckin’ point?  huh? ❜     justin spits out,   his tone revealing a defense mechanism.  taking a step back,   his first instinct was to run even though the curiosity & intent to what hannah’s next steps were remained currently stuck in his mind.  there was a part of him deep down inside who did want to make sure that she wouldn’t hurt herself again but instead what came out was more anger.  ❛  hannah .... what you did ... what you tried to do was beyond fucked up.  ❜

[melamemea]

platonic sentences.

a small collection of platonic sentences used in casual interactions between friends, or those who need a moment of platonic sweetness. some are goofy, some are serious, some are just sweet and domestic.

“ you’ve got something there… let me remove it for you! ”

“ lean on me if you’re tired, i’ll keep an eye on the movie… ”

“ you look really good today! ”

“ your hair is really soft, what kind of braid did you want again? ”

“ i love this. just you, me, an ungodly amount of blankets and netflix. ”

“ if you want it i’ll get it for you, don’t worry! ”

“ you really make my days, you know that? ”

“ nothing makes me happier than being here with you ”

“ hey hey hey, if you wanna share fries you could ask first! ”

“ okay, i’ll give you half of my burger for half of your sundae, okay? ”

“ uh huh? you’re gonna take me? you and what wrestling army? ”

“ oh ? really ? me ? weak ? have you Seen my muscles ? ”

“ can you stroke my back for a moment? i just want some cuddles. ”

“ i just really want a hug today. ”

“ you look like you could use a hug today ”

“ that outfit looks really good on you, by the way ”

“ okay but, taste this, i made this but i can’t tell if it’s tasty — ”

“ come here — let’s sort this out ”

“ if i squish your cheeks together you look like a pufferfish ”

“ oh my god, your hand is MASSIVE compared to mine ”

“ are you serious? is your hand this tiny? let me compare to mine — ”

“ yes please, keep stroking my hair. i need that today. ”

“ you. me. junk food. today was crap and i need Us time. ”

“ is that the perfume i recommended to you? it smells really good on you!”

“ you’re hogging the blankets, stop it! ”

“ if i just flop over on your lap, will you let me sleep in peace? ”

“ scoot — over — i need to lie down ”

“ give me your feet and i’ll rub them ”

“ hey now, it’s okay? i’m here for you ”

“ we make a good team though, don’t we? ”

“ hey ( name ) wanna catch a movie later today? ”

“ here you go, your favorite snack — picked up a few on my way over ”

“ well d u h, of course i know your favorite snack. friends do this stuff. ”

“ oh, so you really think i don’t know you? mhm? test me! ”

“ you think you know me? really? okay, what’s my favorite … ( thing )? ”

“ i can’t believe my clothes look better on you. that should be illegal. ”

“ well if this meme isn’t us then i don’t know — ” sends meme.

“ your shoulders are really tense, can you try to sit still? ”

“ i’ll buy you dinner if you rub my back right now ”

[alishasboe]

ENDLESS GIFS of jessica davis & justin foley [30/∞]