Yeah, hi, me again, here to complain about my life, again. If you don’t want to read it this time, just skip over it, don’t open the post after the break.
This time, I’m just kinda frustrated with my experience with content creation on video platforms. Like, before, I used to put so much time and effort into making as high quality videos as I could, stuff I loved to make. I always wanted an audience to talk to, to interact with, because the people I knew in real life were just shitty people and I wanted to actually interact with a decent human being. This was obviously years ago, before I met anyone here, or in real life in my new home state, but it still resonates with me because I want to make people’s days better. I want to make them laugh and smile. I wanted to be a source of happiness for people. I did all the right things. I tried to be consistent as my schedule allowed, I engaged with my audience, even though it was only a few people. I put a ton of time into it, and everyone left, everyone just leaves, and never stays for the future content... I just wanted to be like the content creators I look up to. I’ve really seen nothing come out of my attempt at content creation. That’s why I’m so fucking hesitant to put any decent effort into a video or post now, because I know it’s not gonna gain traction, it isn’t gonna make people want to stay for more, it’s just gonna fizzle out and die as soon as I upload it. It fucking sucks but that is exactly my experience. I try to reach out and tag some streamers in a tweet and one of them says thats not the way to gain viewers. Of course its not, I’m tagging you to fucking let you know you inspired me. Like fuck, I can’t do anything right when it comes to this, I can’t retain an audience let alone fucking gaining one. It really just makes me super fucking depressed because like the only way to get discovered, the only way that I can actually follow my dreams at all is to have the sheer dumb luck to have someone listen or watch and share it with people. I just feel so useless because I can’t fucking do anything about it. I’m just sitting in front of my mic saying nothing because the only fucking viewer of any of my streams in my twitch dashboard. I tried to do everything right, why won’t shit happen. I want to have fun with it, but I’m just depressed because I see every other streamer interacting with at least one person and I’m just there, sitting by myself, like every other day.
