At Least 90% Jaguar @gunmetalblxck - Tumblr Blog

scorpiofactsdaily

Scorpio’s thick thighs do not save lives. they end them

#tex.txt

thewacopaco-deactivated20201008

thestupidmeanone‌:

“Because everyone we know has some weird mutant gene that makes them giant. Or genetic enhancements. Or both.”

“It has to be both right? I saw one guy who was seven foot three.”

thestupidmeanone‌:

“That wouldn’t stop some people and you know it.”

“How is it that you, my own personal cell tower, are the one who works out as the average height around here?”

thestupidmeanone‌:

“Except no one’s dumb enough to tease you about it.”

“There’s nothing to tease because I’m not short.”

#thestupidmeanone

“Yeah, yeah we get it. You’re all giants.”

#I'm an average height #But you wouldn't guess that from looking around right about now.#dash commentary

brokenbow‌:

“I could reveal my true divine form,” he suggested with an arch look. “You’d be burned to cinders immediately, but then you’d know for sure. What exactly do you count as divine? Do you want me to bleed Golden Ichor? Step out of this stupid little circle without any ill effects? Perhaps call up a plague and give you a cold for the next few months.”

“Actually, yes. I’d love to see you try to break my circle.” Theoretically, if it was strong enough to summon him, it should be strong enough to hold him. If he could somehow step through it like it was nothing... Well, it would at least give her an idea of the power he’s packing. “That sure would be a neat little party trick.”

thestupidmeanone‌:

“Your intentions are rarely that… polite.”

“Full offense taken. I’m a perfect ray of sunshine.”

rpmemesandasks

Send me ““...”” for my muse to talk to yours’ in a different language!

oldmemesandhelpandthings-gone

Send Me Your Assumptions About My Muse

and I’ll respond with “Correct”, “Nope”, or “Kinda”.

misterquickwitted‌:

“I dunno, people just like to lick shit off each other, I guess. It’s not even close to the weirdest thing I’ve heard people try though. There was this one dude I knew in high school who liked licking pickle juice off chicks.”

“At least the pickle juice fetishist picked something that isn’t sticky.”

abitofafatass‌:

“Ok, well you know-”

Thank god they’d never taken the malfunctioning speed unit out of his suit.

Tex watches him go, shaking her head.

“God, I’m going to need five showers after hearing that.”

#shes not actually going to chase him #she's glad she can put the fear of god into him though

misterquickwitted

“Dude, ice cream’s already a sex thing. People do all kindsa sexy shit with ice cream.”

gunmetalblxck

“God, why? That sounds disgusting.”

#misterquickwitted

abitofafatass‌:

“What do you mean ruin? You make cinnamon rolls because you wanna fuck afterwards. Thats just how it is. If you made cinnamon rolls, I’d be convinced to…” Grif’s voice died when he remembered who he was talking to. “I-I mean. I- Only if you wanted me to, uh. You know. Eat you out.” He didnt know it was physically possible for his voice to crack while whispering.

That was the worst thing he’d ever said.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.