one headline, why believe it?

One's a gunsmith/mechanic, the other's a mercenary. Both offer up their services, but can you really trust the miss Haley Remington, and the mister Daniel Watson? Suppose you'll have to to see what they have to offer you. ((gunslingingGambler --> gunslingingGangster This is an archive blog for technologicalGambler. There will be no further activity on this blog, so go over there, dang it!))

[gunslinginggangster]

    ((Okay, it’s time to put the nail in the coffin.  I’ve been putting this off for far too long.

    Hey!!  Big surprise!  This blog is dead.  I’m not going to be getting on this blog at all anymore.  I’m not deleting it, but it’s now an archive.  You can still find Jade and Dave if you’re still interested in role playing with them, but they’re over at technologicalGambler now.  They’re still the same Jade and Dave, same events happened to them, just a new url and blog and updated headcanons.  

    I’d love to role play with people from this blog.  Lately I’ve just been role playing with close friends to get back in the swing of things, so I figured hey.  Might as well finally put this dying blog out of its misery.  Feels weird saying it, but that’s just how it is.

    See y’all on the flip side.

    -Enya))

[tipsygrimdrunk-archive-blog]

GG: hey roxy! happy birthday! :D

TG: thanks jade!! :3

[tipsygrimdrunk-archive-blog]

what can i say? like mother/paradox cousin like son/paradox cousin lol

She looks over the watch curiously.

u sayin this is like a transformer watch gun? hooooooly shiiiiiit thats awesome!

She studies the watch for a moment until she finds the button, pressing it and looking damn near awestruck when it shifts into an assault rifle. Now looking over the newly transformed gun, grinning like a child on Christmas morning.

this is so fuckin awesome jade holy shit!! o man u gotta show me how u do this sometime its amazin

thank u so much omggggg

[gunslinginggangster]

youre welcome!!  im so glad you like it! 

and sure!  i could show you how to make them!  i mean one of my first tests was a pen that turns into a sword so it was a little more complex to make a watch that turns into a gun

but it works!  and i can show you how it does so!! :D

[red-chevalier]

"Yes well, I’m aware of that!" Nervous chuckling.

"I just didn’t expect so much to happen while I was away! Must have been quite the climax to the celebration, hmm?" He had to admit, he’s somewhat glad he wasn’t pulled along into the whole ordeal. It would’ve been awkward as heck. 

"But anyway, how was the food? Did you all finish them?" 

[gunslinginggangster]

well yeaaaaaaahhh i suppoooseee it was an interesting event within the conjoined celebrations of roxys, dirks, and daves birthdays but i still dont know how i should even begin to feel about suddenly being adopted by night herself and darkness himself

but yeah!  the food was great! :D  i loved it a lot!!

[tipsygrimdrunk-archive-blog]

GG: hey roxy! happy birthday! :D

TG: thanks jade!! :3

[tipsygrimdrunk-archive-blog]

more gifts?

hell yes! *totes grabby paws rn*

[gunslinginggangster]

jeez!  youre just like dave when it comes to presents!  no wonder you two are related!

She hands over a watch.  ...It's just a watch.

alright now dont let looks deceive you

ive been studying weapons that can hide as ordinary objects or articles of clothing, and i thought itd be a good gift for someone like you!

behold!  the watch will actually transform into an assault rifle that fires laser beams! 

try it out!

[tipsygrimdrunk-archive-blog]

GG: hey roxy! happy birthday! :D

TG: thanks jade!! :3

[gunslinginggangster]

hey its no problem!

but now seriously the birthday girl needs a birthday gift

[red-chevalier]

TG: ey you butler boy

"Oh, hello there! You must be…..Dave, right? I recall seeing you with Miss Lalonde before in my house."

[red-chevalier]

"It’s more to do with lack of interest on my part, not laziness, David.” Casually just laughs dryly. “That, and I’m fairly slow when it comes to slangs…”

Huffs a little in mild irritation. So what if he’s not familiar with modern teen slang? ”Yes, Miss Lalonde had told me that before, including the whole paradox situation.”

"Though I still think this is all very astounding, at least for me. I’m sure you along with Miss Lalonde find this a norm by now."

[gunslinginggangster]

oh there comes the full name abort mission its a failure retreat immediately out of precaution

really its just dave not david not davidson not davioso its just dave thats my name

kay

kay

also clement theres somethin called urban dictionary that helps a lot

and theres also somethin called using your head to figure it out since most of what i spout is a bunch of metaphors surprise surprise you just have to figure out the references for yourself

oh yeah its fairly normal by now i mean you have to meet yourself a few times to get it pounded in your head like a bell that youre not the only one like yourself and youre not unique so whatever right its just paradoxical shenanigans nothing big

and about her being my mom slash daughter or cousin is more of a matter of universal thing so let me sound like jade trying to explain timelines because that shits hilarious i mean have you heard her trying to explain why back to the futures broken oh wait you haven thats right she only rants at me about that

look its like

a tree

because fuck what the doctor says time is not a mash of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff hes cool but thats not how it is

you have your base timeline and thats where you start and thats the trunk of this timetree and whatever you choose or are forced to choose causes branches to appear

see why i used tree

because theyre branched off

timelines

fuck jade is getting to me

so roxy being my mom slash daughter is in one giant timetree where that exists and i think she said she was from an offshoot timeline

roxy being my cousin is in a whole nother fuckin tree that is kind of weak and frail and a bit spindly thanks to the offshoots being trimmed slim so that its more like a giant rod

and then youre off in your own universe slash timetree just chillin it out

and no i am not spelling that out like i did before because then ill sound just like harley and i am not doing that to myself i have a rep to uphold as the nonnerd of this group

which means for more linear time stuff

[red-chevalier]

"I…I see?" That doesn’t make the situation sound any better Jade.

[gunslinginggangster]

its probably not even official anyway

it was literally just two gods walking into a room and declaring us all their children and none of us really protested since theyre kinda gods

i highly doubt that their declaration will have any standing in a legal court

[red-chevalier]

I come back to everyone adopted by a Greek God…

….Why can’t we have one peaceful dinner party for once? 

[gunslinginggangster]

actually two greek gods

nyx who is the personification of night time, and erebus the personification of darkness

primordial gods that existed before the titans...

and they adopted us all...

its really freaking weird

[forgotten-plutoid]

"Why?"

[gunslinginggangster]

because i give weird names to everyone dont consider yourself special

[forgotten-plutoid]

“Looks like the beginning of a beautiful brotherhood if you ask me.”

Eyebrow twitch. “My name isn’t Zexion, it’s Clyde or even Hades. I understand the mix up, but seriously?”

[gunslinginggangster]

fuck yeah it is

and no that wasnt a mix up that was totally on purpose

[forgotten-plutoid]

“Welcome to our messed up family, kid, it’s gonna be a hell of a ride.”

"Than."

“Whaaat, I didn’t mean that that time, I’m being honest!”

[gunslinginggangster]

thanatos i fucking love you youre gonna be a great bro

you and zexion over there are going to be so fun

[principessadecielo]

"Maybe I could visit you more, but I don’t think Gamma would appreciate me leaving permanently."

That and considering that she is a boss, although young. She couldn’t leave her family behind.

[gunslinginggangster]

okay yeah thats true and i highly doubt that youd wanna live with a six foot tall death lizard

visitings good lets do that

[forgotten-plutoid]

"Over the past few hours I’ve acquired an Great Gray owl, finally more time with Wallace, and about 10+ new siblings… If I ever, for some unearthly reason, say that my family is even remotely normal, please by all means remind me of that last fact.”

“Same. And I got an Arctic fox which is goddamn adorable.”

[gunslinginggangster]

i still cant get over the fact that i have brothers now and theyre the lord of death and death himself

that is fuckin awesome

[tipsygrimdrunk-archive-blog]

eyyyy bro/son

broson

brother for which im ya mother eyyy

my bros a strider fuck ye

[gunslinginggangster]

eeeeeeeeeyyyy

i have another lalondian sister that isnt a total weirdo and is actually fun

demon sis

yes

[tipsygrimdrunk-archive-blog]

so apparently along w bday celebrations one of my gifts was parents in the form of gods

hell

the fuck

yes

[gunslinginggangster]

so it looks like youre both my paradox mom and my adoptive sister

this will be so confusing to explain to people but whatever its hella

my sisters a demon fuck yeah

[gunslinginggangster]

principessadecielo replied to your post:fuck yeah now i get to say my mom is the night i...

So does that mean were family now? Should I call you big brother??

FUCK SHE'S TOO CUTE ABORT MISSION.

wait

i

i was not prepared for the magical girl to become my little sister

i

yes you may you may call me big brother you can come move in with me and your big sister jade this is completely and totally fine

[gunslinginggangster]

fuck yeah now i get to say my mom is the night

i can finally say my mom is batman this is the best birthday ever