Three months ago I was binge drinking every night, would go out of town with random people every weekend, went to school on no sleep, and smoked cigarettes like hell. People would tell me I need to be balanced and healthy, but I didn’t want to hear it because it all sounded so boring to me. But the thing is, when you rely on unhealthy shit like drugs and sketchy people and boys to make you feel alive and like your life is an adventure, I swear to god that shit will destroy you in the end because those are all dependencies.
Every day I thank God that somehow I got out. I was so insane during those months that I can’t remember how I pulled out or realized that I needed to. I think I realized that I needed to grow up and be responsible.
I see beautiful girls in their 20s that are spending years in recovery from their drug and alcohol abuse. Years. You can get all the money back that you spent on drugs, but the ONE thing you can’t get back is time. The time spent sleeping all day, the time spent in recovery and isolation.
Anyway the point of this post was actually just to say that being healthy is actually amazing and I always thought the effort it takes is a waste of time. But it seriously isn’t…. I can’t even describe how good being healthy and responsible feels. Even quitting smoking cigarettes has made me feel like a new person and it’s only been a few weeks. I have this b vitamin powder that I hide in my room so no one takes it, I protect that shit like drugs haha. And working out is seriously life changing. I’ve experimented with a lot of yay in the past, but I swear I feel a million times better after going for a run. Anyway I just felt like writing this out and I hope someone reads this, that maybe is in the place I was a few months ago.
Literally just from giving up my drugs and eating healthy and working out and being responsible, I have never been happier in my entire life. It isn’t boring. You do that shit, it takes like two weeks until it becomes effortless and just a habit. Then you have the motivation and energy to do more shit, like travel and create things. And you always have healthiness to fall back on, it makes you love being independent. It’s just so funny how I always wondered why I was depressed, then once I quit smoking and started being healthy everything changed.
I don’t know how I decided to change, but I am so stoked on life because I’m graduating in a month, have a job, bought my first car, and I’m just so happy and feel completely normal. I’ve deleted my facebook because I am so fulfilled that I give no fucks about what other people are doing.. All I care about is my life. I don’t care about petty drama and the problems everyone creates out of thin air. I mean what the fuck? Waking up and being excited to look in the mirror to see your body, and feeling confident is surreal, I’ve felt like this for over a month so I know it’s real. But every day I wake up so happy I want to cry because I am so grateful. I truly believe in a God after this year. I promise it gets better if you make the effort first.
But anyway, fuck talking about maturity and shit. You gotta live it! Just felt like writing about it because I think healthiness is one of those solutions that are so simple and obvious that everyone just overlooks it. This is the realest shit ever
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