jude shrugs, not exactly sure from the little information he’s garnered that charlene is willing to give victoria a proper shot, but whatever, it’s not his business. he doesn’t know what went down between her and evie for it to end like that. if this were a week ago, he’d probably have asked, but it feels like something’s changed in their relationship and it’s not really his place to pry any more. the acknowledgement comes with a sad little twist of his stomach. “ i am, yeah. she makes me proper happy. ” most of the time.“ when i asked her at the boat party, she was dead shocked, like. kinda thought she might start crying. ” he’s not exactly sure why he’s sharing this much with charlene, knowing what he needs to say afterwards, but maybe it’ll help for him to contextualise it somewhat, how jenny had gone from the highest high to feeling two feet tall in the space of an evening. sure, it doesn’t make her reaction totally justified, but maybe it’ll help to let charlene empathise with her position a little. and it’s not like anyone, apart from angel and charlene, has really even asked jude about the fact that him and jenny are now a package deal. whatever. it reeks of jealousy.
when charlene immediately jumps to her own defence, jude can tell he’s in for a long night, a slow breath pulling through his nostrils. he doesn’t want to fight charlene. all he wants is to say, hey man, i respect your opinion, but maybe just try to be a little more cautious around her — you know how she gets. “ look, i get it. i do. you don’t wanna feel like that fox face bitch from the hunger games, doin’ your hopscotch jumping around the landmines, always tryna’ anticipate if you’re a second from being blown up. i know that it’s not fair to like… ask everyone to walk on eggshells. but you and her were thick as thieves in casa, char. you know how sensitive she is. ” maybe jenny is a shit stirrer, but even shit stirrers deserve someone fighting their corner. fuck sake, his thoughts sound like one of them messed up women who write letters to convicts. wait — jude does write letters to convicts ; his uncle’s banged up in still strangeways. not that jenny occasionally causing a ruccus is anything like being a convict. she’s no less of a shit-stirrer than naomi or adela. why doesn’t naomi get this much flack ? “ you’re probably right. i shouldn’t have told you to simmer down, i just… i knew it would only make it worse to have everyone chiming in with their opinions. when she’s like that, it’s best just to let me deal with it. jenny doesn’t back down in an argument. and i love that about her but… it makes it tough. maybe i don’t have to agree with everything she does, but i’m always gonna be on her team. ” he almost says, you’d be the same if you were in a relationship, but for once jude has enough tact to hold his tongue. is he going soft in the head ? two weeks in this place has totally fucked with his perception. it fucking hurts to hear charlene say all this shit, because while she’d been jenny’s friend before she threw that curveball at the firepit, jude still sees her as a friend, and now she’s calling him a sad fucking sight and saying that he doesn’t love jenny the way he thinks he does, if love’s even crossed his mind. it feels whack, because she’s just not the person he thought she was. maybe that’s on him. maybe he should have known the day she tried to hold him under the water that a friendship between the two of them was never going to last.
“ that’s… uh. wow. okay. ” for a moment, jude doesn’t speak, not trusting say something he won’t regret. instead he paces, tries to put together his thoughts, a habit he’s adopted after finding himself so often with emotional barrel of a gun against his forehead. “ that’s actually pissed me off. ” he eventually settles on saying, slowing to a stop. because what right does she have to comment on his relationship. he’s not going to say to her weird-ass triangle shit storm that resulted in evie walking doesn’t exactly feel like love. he’ll keep that shit to himself. “ yeah, you’re not a fucking relationship expert. ” given her track record of absolutely no-one sticking around. maybe fifth time’s the charm, or whatever she’s on now. maybe him and jenny had a rough start, but at least no one could deny that from the moment they met there’d been something. “ if any of us were, we wouldn’t be in this place. and you’re definitely not an expert on mine… i wouldn’t even be saying anything if i didn’t care about her, char. ”doesn’t look like love to me. why the fuck’s she gotta go and say that for ? “ look… i don’t wanna argue with you, alright. because i think that putting all this aside, you’re actually sound, and i do still want to be your friend. i get your points, but right now… we’re not going to see eye-to-eye on this, so maybe we should just leave this before we start causing fucking damage that doesn’t need to be caused, you know what i’m saying ? ” what he’s saying is he wants to leave this with still some semblance of the friendship they have in tact. he still wants her to be the person who paints his nails, who he goes to for outfit advice when naomi’s being a dick. he doesn’t want his girlfriend’s overreaction to cost him another mate in here. but ultimately, if he’s made to choose between charlene and jenny, he’ll pick jenny. he’s always going to pick jenny.
“that’s such an overstatement, jude. jenny and i had a threesome and then barely talked to each other. we weren’t like, besties.” thick as thieves? where the hell did he get that from? she always felt like she was closer to him rather than her. her brow furrows, upper lip curls up slightly in confusion, as she attempts to see the logic behind his statement. “so it’s not even that the villa should walk on eggshells around her. it’s that i should specifically? that’s mental. like, absolutely irrational.” and it pisses her off that he would ask that of her. “i couldn’t give two rat’s ass about how sensitive she is when she goes around and tries to make everyone feel bad about wanting miles to have a nice night. like we freaking owe it to her or something.” entitled. that’s what charlene thinks of her. “so while you ‘deal with it’ what would you like the rest of us to do? sit back and hold our breath until she feels better? maybe we should all hold hands and sing her a little lullaby so that she can go to sleep?” the sarcasm drips in her tone, sharp and pointed like a knife. she could probably go on for a while but she eases when he mentions how tough it is for him. round eyes soften a little at that and she takes a deep breath but the edge in her voice is still very present. “i don’t mean to make things tough for you jude.” and she means that genuinely, but it’s hard to be calm and collected when charlene feels like she is being treated unfairly. like he’s holding her to a higher standard than his own girlfriend. “i don’t think i’m the one that’s making it that way though. or at the very least, i’m not the one initiating it. i was literally matching her energy and yeah, what i said was bitchy but i genuinely don’t know why you’re acting like i’m the one that went on attack mode first. why do we all have to be the better person just so that she doesn’t blow another gasket?” does he realize how ridiculous that sounds? “like, you can try to enable her all you want but that doesn’t mean that i or anyone in this villa has to. that’s not our job. technically it’s not even yours and i get why you would make it yours ‘cus you like her and all but the bottom line is that she’s a grown-ass woman and if she can’t handle the heat then she needs to get the hell out of the kitchen.” it’s as simple as that.
“honestly, it would be one thing if she threw her tantrums and then apologized afterwards, but she doesn’t. she’s indignant. would rather act like we are all pit against her instead of taking an ounce of accountability for what she says or how she acts.” jude and angel seem to be more than happy to oblige, always jumping to her defense even when she is the one to put herself in those situations. in jude’s defense she thinks that him taking the role of a protective boyfriend would be cute... if the line between supportive and delusional weren't so damned blurred. it’s no secret that charlene hasn’t had the most luck with finding love in this place. sometimes it felt like some of these couples were predestined for one another and that she was just doomed to be an outsider watching from the sidelines. it’s also no secret that it has made her feel like absolute shit on multiple occasions but even then one thing is crystal clear to her — she would much rather be single than have to trail behind someone, picking up after every mess they make and trying to salvage every bridge they burn. “i don’t doubt that you care about her, that’s not what i’m saying. what i’m saying is that you blindly taking her side even when she’s in the wrong is one thing, but then telling people to zip it when they bite back is just downright hypocritical and probably not doing as much good as you think it is.” charlene can appreciate that jude is trying to keep some peace between them even when she knows that she said some harsh things but a part of her can't help but wonder if maybe jenny’s habit of starting an argument and not being able to follow through with it is rubbing off on him. then again, if she thinks back to their first interaction in the pool, maybe he has always been the type who can dish it but not take it. “fine. we can stop here. i hope you can see where i’m coming from. i don’t want any problems with you but i think that the two of you need a serious reality check ‘cus if your girl has a habit of going around and asking for a fight then you can’t be acting all surprised when someone actually gives it to her.” charlene isn’t the first person to tango with jenny and she highly doubts that she will be the last. does he go around and try to call out every person who jenny feels she has been wronged by? or is that something that is just specifically meant for her too?. “and if you think that makes me sound like a total cunt then... i don’t know what to tell you.” charlene doesn’t realize how still she has been until she turns her attention back to the mirror, gaze set on an ice cold reflection. the air between them has never felt so fucking heavy and charlene worries that this is how it’s always going to be from now on but if jude is asking her to set her dignity aside for the sake of their friendship then maybe they were never really friends to begin with. a thought that will undoubtedly make her sad later tonight, laying restless by victoria’s side and thinking back to all the times jude has made her laugh ( especially when he hadn’t intended to ) and how excited she got every time he picked her for a fun challenge or even when gave a little insight to how suddenly smitten he was with jenny. “good night, then.” it definitely sounds more like a dismissal than an actual goodbye but it’s the most amicable reply she can manage right now.
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