Take a good look at this man. You may see a lot of things. A guy that needs a hot shower, an electric razor, a trip to supercuts and his fathers approval likely top the list. Overall you can say his appearance cries out for help and if heâs in the news then it has to be nothing short of spectacular. What could it be?Â
28 year old Justin Walker was running across four lanes of traffic in Lady Lake WITH HIS GENITALS OUT when Sumter County Sheriff's deputies pulled up.
According to the police report a deputy wrote
âAs I and another vehicle came closer to the subject, the subject quickly darted across four lanes of traffic with his shorts partially down, Walker stopped in the roadway and looked at both myself and the other vehicle where I observed his genitals to be fully exposed and his shorts to be partially dropped.â
When the deputy caught up to Mr. Walker his junk was still out...The report goes on to say
"I asked the defendant why his pants were down. The defendant looked down at his crotch and shrugged his shoulders, saying, I guess I did something stupid."
He was arrested and charged with indecent exposure and resisting arrest without violence.
Oh Floridians how you make my heart smile. Man runs across four lanes of traffic with his dick flapping in the fresh salt water air and his response âI guess I did something stupidâ. Donât be so hard on yourself guy. I lived in Florida and know the humidity there is something awful especially on âthe boysâ. Gotta make sure you have lots of baby powder and apply it on the regular down there (pun intended). Personally I feel for that man and his discomfort as I have fought that fight for years, but heâs right. To air out in the comfort of your own home is one thing. To air out in the state currently on Zika watch is another. You sir did in fact did do âsomething stupidâ and I applaud your honesty.Â
With Madden dropping this Tuesday as well as my pride from getting fisted late night by some pre teen who should be in bed on a school night, atleast I can be excited by this great promo.
You know how whenever you know you have a date on Friday night, you donât beat off all week so you can save it all up to impress her when you unload it all over her that night? Thatâs how I feel about writing This Week In Clickbait! I save up all these thumbnails all week so I can blow them all over your face on Friday! Thereâs a LOT of shocking stuff this week!
RIP JTT
Iâm sad to say Clickbait has informed us that JTT, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, died some time ago. We didnât even know! And you know what? Iâm glad! Every girl I wanted to give my tiny prepubescent cock to in middle school was obsessed with this prick. None of them wanted to touch MY COCK because they were saving themselves for him! Do you know how frustrating that is for a 10 year old boy who just wants to get his cock touched and these idiot girls think they have a shot with JTT?? I missed out on so much cock touching because of this guy. Iâm glad heâs dead.
TRANSIDENTIFIER ALERT!
I saw this coming a mile away. Will Smith is too clean. His family is too perfect (except that little asshole son of his). He needed to have some deep dark secret and it makes perfect sense that heâs a transidentifier.
This one was the shocker:
I would never have guessed George was a transidentifier. My universe has been shattered.
I THINK IâM GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK
When I wear tight socks, my legs look just like this. Iâm wearing tight socks right now. I hope I make it through TWIC.
ASIAN INVASION
This one is so egregious! This isnât even clickbait this was the thumbnail for an article! Emma Stone is NOT asian. Sheâs some kind of white. Maybe thatâs not what they meant. Side note, this is such a racist article! Asianâs fighting for visibility?! Is this about their struggle to see because their little slits for eyes only let them see 20% of what us âround-eyesâ see? Shame on you New York Times!
THE BEST OF THE WORST OF THE MOST LEAST
This is completely egregious! They arenât even trying. She isnât even inside a building! But sheâs got GREAT boobs. To quote one of my friend Andy that none of you know âThose tits are beautiful.â I would love to have her touch my tiny 10 year old boy cock.
Thatâs it G-Dubbers! Enjoy your weekend. Try to drink some beer and get your cock touched. I know Iâm gonna.
As a guy who has never played a snap of football but is super confident that even though I am an out of shape and not black I could of been a late first round draft pick. This confidence stems fr my superior knowledge of football and declaring " I knew that was gonna happen after it happened" as I drink beers at a bar while my wife complains about what woman complain about. But now I have a blog to share my thoughts and prove I know nothing. So now I will begin my weekly NFL blog that will run throughout the season.
IS THIS THE YEAR THE PATRIOTS AND BRADY SHOW SIGNS OF DECLINE?
For the last 15 years you could basically pencil the Brady Bunch in for 11 Wins and the AFC East Title and every year the pundits declare Brady is done and the evil rein is over. Newsflash: Its not over!! Most articles list their Superbowl predictions at the end but I go big and I go hard early. New England is going to win the Superbowl and just as Manning did ride off into the sunset giving the middle finger to the Commish.
BIGGEST SURPRISE TEAM:
What a fun question that ESPN loves to debate about and I am here to declare we are all gonna be JAGGIN OFF with the Jacksonville Jaguars this year. Ever since America was blessed with the presence of the Jaguar parking lot fan who used to have a beach house but not really the writing was on the wall that this was their year to take the leap forward. Nothing to do with the fact that there Offense was shocking good last year and their terrible D added some big free agents and are getting 3 first round draft picks this year with Myles Jack slipping and Fowler returning after missing his entire rookie year. If you are not excited for Blake Bortles and Gang to Jag off all over Andrew Lucks beard this year you are not a fan. We can only hope Parking Lot Lady continues to grow.
BIGGEST LET DOWN:
The Washington Redskins.From playing in a terrible division and Kurt yelling at children about "liking that"they got lucky. With the Cowboys healthy again and the giants and eagles better on paper it only makes sense that the Skins are worse than last year
FIRST COACH FIRED
Always fun to watch this happen as the year begins their is always 5-6 coaches who are on the hot seat and most of the time the pressure builds and builds until they are finally taken out back and put out of the misery.
This year's candidates:
Rex Ryan
Who ever is coaching the Titans, Falcons, or Chargers
Bill O'brein
Marvin Lewis
Chuck Pagano
And the lucky winner of an all expense paid vacation: Chuck Pagano
A few years ago Chuck was the bell of the ball with his cancer recovery and getting credit for a young Andrew Luck team sneaking into the playoffs even though he was home recovering from cancer while reigning coach of the year Bruce Arians turned the team around. Since than the colts have had the owner arrested for pills, their used car salesman GM continue to draft small WR and ignoring an Oline and defense , and Andrew Luck has regressed from being the next big thing to Andre the Giant lookalike who throws alot of picks.
Vet video of the day. Music these days sucks however, a friend of mine sent me this as a joke. Normally I give 0 fucks about new music especially pop but after I stopped staring I realized this girl gets it!
Biggest story of the week for this columnist is from an article on The HuffPo about Facebook planning to combat CLICKBAIT!!!
FROMÂ Nick Visser , Huffington Post -Â Facebook, tired of headlines promising âshockingâ things you âwonât believe,â is fed up with clickbait and will soon implement changes to its algorithm thatâll remove such stories from your newsfeed.
Iâm conflicted here. Clickbait is a necessary evil for me. It provides me content for this column every week but at the same time I run the risk of my wife using my Facebook, she sees a clickbait article that piques her interest, clicking it, and before you know it Iâm cashing in my lifeâs savings in for bitcoin to pay off some ransomware hacker to unencrypt my data.
So as much as Iâd love to see this weekly feature continue, Iâd really like facebook to fight this clickbait disease enough to the point where itâs not worth the effort of these sinister clickbait creators to continue making it. But until that day...
HEREâS THIS WEEK IN CLICKBAIT!!
From that very HuffPo article
Nothing too egregious here. I just love the 3rd one in from the left. The guy looks like he passed out while pounding the bishop and this photo was taken hours later after he went soft and it withdrew back into his fly.
Macho Man Randy Introspective
This is my new favorite image on the internet. This is the most Anti-Macho Man Randy Savage image of all time. Look how pensive and subdued he is. Look how the glow of the late day sunset adds to the feeling that, as the day ends, heâs thinking âperhaps itâs time for me to make some major life changes.â Itâs a FAR CRY from the cocaine and steroid fueled promos he used to cut!
18 Who Do, None of Which Are These Two...
I donât think anyone would be shocked if we found out Michael Strahan had a black spouse. And if Maria Menounos had a black husband I wouldnât be surprised either. She used to a fat white chick, and I know a ton of brothers that are guilty of hogging around the alabaster pig pen. But Maria Menounosâ husband is definitely a white dude. And Strahan had a white wife at one point, but thatâs not what this Ad is about. Itâs white celebrities (Strahan is not white) and their Black spouses. This ad is drunk. I CALL EGREGIOUS!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?
I donât even know where to begin!  Child labor?? Shit water?? Suns out guns out in a sleeveless Honda shirt?! Why the fuck are two of these people wearing long sleeve hooded shirts (actually the guy on the left looks like he just has a yellow T Shirt wrapped around his head) and they are letting this 10 year old worker boy stay in this putrid water with barely any clothes on! How is their labor union allowing this??  And what body of water is this where they are scooping shit out of the water? Is this at the Rio Olympics? That was too easy. Iâm sorry about that. I love the Antonio Banderas looking motherfucker with the suns out guns out honda shirt. This is egregious!
Bill and Hillary Who?
Is this supposed to be Bill and Hillary CLINTON?? It looks nothing like them. Although itâs hard to tell if thatâs Hillary underneath all that blackface make up. You know what I bet it is. The woman is shameless and would do anything to get the black vote. Remember the time she changed her dialect at a campaign speech to sound more black?
https://youtu.be/bWRoEpYuHwI?t=35s
Hillary Clinton is a racist.
YEAH, NO SHIT.
ANYTHING THAT LOOKED LIKED THIS WOULD KILL YOU FROM THE INSIDE. Avocados are SO good for you this is just egregiousness for egregiousnessâ sake!!! AND SLANDEROUS TO THE AVOCADO COMMUNITY!!!
Gabby Update
Sheâs still fat. This is egregious.
Lisa BonO WAY
Well this is ridiculous Lisa Bonet may have aged a little bit but that is NOT her on the right! These people are out of their minds. Maybe they think she looks like a horrible creature because of the character she is playing on this current season of Ray Donovan? Sheâs playing a fucked up crack head who fucks her brother. Sheâs not REALLY that person.
See that vile. Thereâs crack in that vile. This television ,not real life. Get it together internet!!
Water you doing??
This chick drank 96 Oz of water every day for a week and she was able to get a better nightâs sleep and take a photo of her face from a different angle. Wow.
Clickbait sucked this week! Letâs go back to Machoman Randy Pensive!!!
MAKE YOUR OWN! TWEET THEM TO US @guysw_wives on Twitter!
At the Age of 10 I Understood the Complexity of a Black Man Dating a White Woman Whose Father Didnât Approve.
By The Artist
This was my fucking jam in 1995.
Walk blindly to the light and reach out for his hand
Don't ask any questions and don't try to understand
Open up your mind and then open up your heart
And you will see that you and me aren't very far apart
'Cause I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way
Violence is spread worldwide and there are families on the street
And we sell drugs to children now oh why can't we just see
That all we do is eliminate our future with the things we do today
Money is our incentive now so that makes it okay
But I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way
I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way
I've been seeing Lisa now for a little over a year
She said she's never been so happy but Lisa lives in fear
That one day daddy's gonna find out she's in love
With a nigger from the streets
Oh how he would lose it then but she's still here with me
'Cause she believes that love will see it through
And one day he'll understand
And he'll see me as a person not just a black man
'Cause I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way
I believe I believe I believe I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way
Love will find the way
Love will find the way
Love will find the way
Please love find the way
Please love find the way
Some people are just horrible like Florida man Joseph Carrao was visiting Busch Gardens animal viewing area at their park down in Tampa with his family Tuesday afternoon when he lost his mind.
Joseph reached into Pinkyâs enclosure and picked the flamingo up by its neck and slammed it into the ground in a rage.
He was arrested by Tampa police and charged with felony animal cruelty.
Busch Gardens veterinary staff had to euthanize Pinky.
Nothing really more to say to this other than where the hell is the video!? This is clearly a missed opportunity for another epic Jim Ross voice over âBy gawd almighty he just broke the man in half! Dammit! He has children!â Oh how I wish to see this crazed Floridian deliver a vicious vintage Undertaker (talking gray gloves and boots) choke-slam to this damn flamingo as children watched in horror. The delivery was so vicious it nearly severed the birds foot! Shout out to local Pittsburgh radio for delivering another Florida story classic.
Side note this dude clearly has some issues. Released after a year in jail for killing 2 chained dogs and now delivering the signature precursor move to the Tombstone pile-driver at one of Americaâs finest theme parks is just wrong. I hope they give this âanimalâ the chair!Â
And the new Miss Caucasian (Teen) USA is....Completely Ignorant!
by The Vet
Iâm not even where to start with this whole mess. Lets see how about the topic of diversity. Sure letâs start there. Hats off to the Miss Teen USA competition for ensuring diversity (not really) in their competion.  If you look right there up front on the right thereâŚnope thatâs a couple really tanned white girls. Wait there far right 3rd rowâŚnope another tanned white girl. Oh hey there we go allllllll the way in the back we have a minority. Who the fuck dropped the ball on that one!? As if racial issues were not hot topic enough in the USA. Was she only as part of the competitions âRooney Ruleâ as their âtokenâ!?
So if the diversity issue was not bad enough we can atleast have a classy winner right? Right? Wrong. How about a Miss Caucasian USA that has not only used and tweeted the âNâ word, but one that made an attempt to use it the socially acceptably way minorities do. On top of that how about using it with the  âERâ ending.
Oh no she didnât. Yes she definitely did. And didnât even have the common sense to clean that shit up prior to the competition. Doesnât she know that there are rules and regulations that apply to the use of the word!? My favorite example is one given by comedian Kamau Bell. You can use it âWhen youâre willing to accept the consequences of using it.â He further goes on to explain how words are also not created equal. âWords are like knives, and some words are like a Ginsu knife or a samurai sword, where youâve got to be really careful when you take it out of the sheath because it can cut you and everybody else. And some words are like the plastic knife in the back of your drawer, where you can use it, but it ainât gonna hurt anybody. People act like every word is the same â âHow come you can say it but I canât say it?â Because I know how to use the samurai sword.â
This girl clearly can not and should not be holding a âsamurai swordâ. Based on her lack of commons sense or care to clean up her Twitter I might venture to not even give her a spork. Maybe she needed it to fight through the personal struggles she had many years prior? You know the struggles she had years before when she was a freshman in HS trying to decide which guy she was going to blow. Can be tough deciding between the starting QB or the guy with the nicest car? Ughh whats a girl to do. Ahh Iâll just post about a girls night and use the N word a lot to try and keep my popularity up through retweets and likes! Thatâs sure to be good lunchroom banter. But in all seriousness to those that are lashing out in rage. Are you really surprised a southern gal like herself has that word in her vocabulary? I would personally be more shocked if I found out that she didnât. Maybe thatâs just me stereotyping.Then again arnât we all guilty to some degree of ignorace.
