you whimper at your boyfriend's words, clutching the sheets tightly and resolving yourself to not move.
wonwoo had said he wanted to "try something different" when you were making out earlier, and you had enthusiastically agreed. you're not a stranger to experimenting in the bedroom, most of your escapades consisting of your boyfriend doing unspeakable things to you. you wouldn't have it any other way.
you were excited when wonwoo had told you to strip and lie on your front and spread your legs - you thought you were in for something rough today. you were surprised when he placed the first few kissed on your upper back, and your confusion (and arousal) grew when he trailed his kisses downward - sucking softly, his hands keeping you in place as he leisurely mapped your back with his lips. he had only given you one order, and you were having a hard time following it.
you manage to lie still as he placed the final kiss on the top of your hip, his hands massages your hips as you groan. you sense him coming up before you hear him whisper, "turn around for me, baby".
you turn to your back, rubbing your thighs to relive some tension before wonwoo clutches them and spreads them apart with a soft "tsk".
he starts his journey upward, his lips kissing the dip in your navel as his hands rub your thighs smoothly. you're panting by the time he gets to your chest, mewls of "please" escaping you. wonwoo kisses through the valley of your chest, ignoring your sensitive breasts and moving on to your neck. you feel his smile against your skin as he kisses your jaw.
"wonwoo", your voice is desparate.
"yes, baby?", his face hovers over yours, his glittering eyes matching the teasing smile on his face.
"please"
"please what, baby? aren't you having fun?", his hands cup your breasts, squeezing them gently.
your hips buck and your eyes roll back, the feeling of his fingers flicking your nipples making your head swim. you don't think your skin has ever been this sensitive.
"i just want my baby to feel beautiful, you don't like that?", his hands move to your sides, a grin adorning his face at the pout on your lips.
you whimper his name, your mind only focusing on the ache between your legs.
"you like it better when i tie you up and have my way with you, mm?"
even in your muddled state, you giggle at your boyfriend's medieval phrasing. his smile matching yours as he kisses you softly.
"you're teasing me", you whine, being very aware of the hand that's stroking your inner thigh - so close to where you want it, but not close enough.
"you don't want that?", it's hard to focus on his words when his hand is slowly inching towards your cunt.
you shake your head, your eyes pleading.
"say it, baby", he removes his hands from you, "say it and you can have it"
"wonwoo, please touch me", you're far too turned on to feel humiliated.
"i can do you one better", he says before pecking your cheek, his lips gliding down your body and sucking your clit hard, his hands holding down your thighs.
you swear you can feel him smile against your cunt when you squeal.
Warnings - Dubcon, reader is essentially just being used, buttplay, (first time) analplay, perv Joong because yes, slight corruption kink, cumshots in panties, Hongjoong has a thing for praising, using spit as lube, Hongjoong is acting like nothing is happening but it is don’t listen to him he’s a sex freak, mentions of desserts.
If you said, that standing next to the CEO of your company, looking over his shoulder to explain where you needed his signature on this very important legal document, that you didn’t feel his eyes devour your face up, you’d be a big fat liar.
your clothes weren’t that out of the ordinary from what some of the others wore at work. to Hongjoong though, the tight fitting skirt looked unbelievably delicious on you specifically. to him, the blouse you had hastily picked out this morning was considerably more form accentuating than the ones you wore every other day. he’d know of course, it’s not a company secret that he’s had his eye on you for a while.
however, filling the role of his eye candy today felt a little… different, than the other days. Hongjoong’s aura was palpably menacing since the moment you handed him his morning coffee. like a hungry wildcat on the prowl, his eyes followed you everywhere.
he’s staring at your lips when you turn your head to look at him. heat blooms in your neck, crawling up to your ears. but you can’t find yourself to call him out on his behaviour.
inappropriate behaviour, for most.
“is there anything else you would like me to add to the document, sir?” you look at him expectantly.
Hongjoong takes his time giving you a once over again and rests his cheek on the palm of his hand. when his eyes travel back to yours, his mouth spreads in a wicked smile.
“No, actually. the document is fine. but can you do something for me real quick, angel?”
you avert your eyes at the nickname. clearing your throat you barely breathe out a “what will it be?”before he’s making a request that you can’t believe your ears heard correctly.
“will you be a good girl and lock the door from the inside for me?”
you’re not sure whether a cold sweat actually ran down your spine or if it was all in your head. but, like a good girl, you make your way to the door. punching in the password for the office seemed four times more intimidating than usual. of course, Hongjoong’s prolonged stare on your ass didn’t really do much to ease your anxieties.
you turn on your heels after you’re done but remain standing in the same spot.
“will that be all, sir?”
“come here,” he calls you, staring straight at your face as if taunting you for being so jittery.
is this a test to check where my priorities lie? am i gonna get fired today?
questions swirl around your head as you make your way back to your initial place. you stand next to him, facing his side. Hongjoong doesn’t look at you while he pushes his chair back creating a small distance between himself and his desk.
wrapping a slender hand around your wrist, he pulls you in to fill the empty space. trapped, not only between Hongjoong’s body and the table but also his eyes, you can hear your heart slamming inside your chest. Hongjoong drops your shaky hand in favour of resting both his forearms on the arms of his chair.
“turn around for me, pretty,”
anxious as you were, you didn’t mind fulfilling his requests with utmost enthusiasm.
when he sees you hesitate for a bit too long he reaches out to rub your back, already getting impatient.
“trust me, okay?”
a timid “okay” precedes you obliging to his order. forearms pressed to the black oak desk, you huff out a silent breath to regulate your heartbeat. Hongjoong takes his sweet time staring at you bent over– a view he had craved since the day you started working for him. following him everywhere he went like a small puppy on high alert, it was hard to not get his hands all over you. but he was a patient man, waiting for the perfect time.
what more perfect time could there be than a valentine’s night where there was no one beyond his office walls besides a few employees that had too many deadlines to meet?
Hongjoong reaches out his hand to palm one of your butt cheeks. your leg twitches on instinct and it gives him a maniacal rush to reach down and pull the dangerously tight skirt over your ass.
he hisses at the sight; black stockings reaching all the way up to your curvy waist, blurring the sight of red panties underneath. Hongjoong assumes that you’re wearing a matching bra.
“do you have plans for tonight? a date maybe?” he can’t help but ask. a matching lingerie set can mean anything. but it’s not like he’d let you leave the premises without getting a taste first anyways.
“no…” you lean your head down and rest it against your folded arms, “i was just gonna go home and watch a movie. maybe order take out or make something at home,”
Hongjoong takes your distraction as a window to rub his palms on the plump of your ass. groping your cheeks, he lets the weight of your muscles fill his palms up.
“oh? you cook? are you any good?” he quips, smirking at the scoff you didn’t hold in.
he taps your cheeks with his spread palm, watching it jiggle with the light impact. a low groan dies down in his chest as he tries not to give away how turned on he got just from a little vulgur view.
“i’m a very good cook actually. i wanted to go to culinary school for a while but i… changed my mind,” your eyes flutter shut halfway through the sentence as Hongjoong takes it upon himself to spread your ass in his hold, rubbing the crevice with his thumbs.
“do you bake as well?”
his bafflingly polite questions give you whiplash as his not so polite actions give your heart a hard time. his curious interest in your food-related activities contrast almost comically with his index finger poking into your butt crack, pushing the black mesh all the way in to circle your hidden asshole with the pad of his finger. the other hand keeps your cheek spread apart, his eyes set on the silhouette of your clenching hole.
“y-yes. i bake sometimes,”
“will you make me something then?” he asks, an innocent request paired with his fingernails pushing into the sheer fabric and ripping a small hole in it right above your cunt. sneaky fingers slither their way in the opening and pull the fabric apart. the tearing sound echoes in the office as you ask him what he’d like for you to bake for him.
“hmm, let me think,”
a thumb reaches down to rub your clothed sopping heat,
“perhaps you can bake macarons for me?” he suggests as he stands up.
he crosses the small distance between his pelvis and your bent body, pressing his clothed cock to the jut of your ass.
“do you know how to make it?” he asks as he pulls your panties to the side and bares your quivering holes for his greedy eyes.
“i-i think. i think i do,” you stammer, being put on the spot so suddenly for a secondary hobby that you only occasionally partake in.
“you think?” Hongjoong scoffs at your indecisive answer, “you shouldn’t think, either you can or you can’t, darling. which one is it?”
his reprimanding tone makes you shrink in on yourself. never have you ever given him an opportunity to be disappointed in you. and here some stupid macarons are what got you chastised by him? you speak up immediately to control the damage that’s just been done,
“i mean if i had a recipe–” you try to reason but he cuts you off, clicking his tongue.
at the same time his hard, naked cock slides against your pussy, wetting it with your essence.
“what can you bake by heart?” he asks, slowly inching his thick cock inside your hole. it spreads open to accommodate his girth, sucking it in eagerly. you whine at the sudden stretch and Hongjoong is quick to rub your ass cheek again, prompting you to answer his question.
already out of breath you try to answer him to the best of your abilities.
“i can make lemon tarts. and–” you suck in a breath as he starts a languid pace, “–and um, i can make a crème brulée,”
“oh? isn’t that hard to make?” Hongjoong asks, hips smacking against your ass.
his slow yet hard thrusts are accentuated by the squelch of your cunt dripping all over his dick. your wetness sprinkles out in short bursts each time he smacks his lean muscles onto yours. ass bouncing with each deep thrust, you can’t help but clench onto him, making it harder for his cock to slide effortlessly inside your warm walls.
“it is,” you respond belatedly, “but practice makes it–” your response is broken by a squeal as Hongjoong takes the opportunity to grab your cheeks again, harshly this time.
spreading them apart, he eyes your blushing cunt taking in his cock like a champ. the languid abuse making you pulse around him in a divine rhythm as your body bounces atop his table with the steady impact.
Hongjoong pulls your cheeks apart as far as they’d go, digging his nails into the squishy flesh. the stretch forcefully opens your puckered hole for him, just a tiny bit. Hongjoong leans down a little, mouth hovering above your hole, he spits on it. when your hole clenches instinctively, Hongjoong circles the tight entrance and then pushes his middle and ring finger in to the first knuckles.
your hole grips the sly intruders so tight that Hongjoong can’t even slightly move his fingers.
“relax, precious,” he tries to distract you, “tell me, what’s your favourite dessert?”
he’s successful in his attempt as thinking of an answer takes your mind off of his fingers penetrating you. your hole eases up around his fingers and Hongjoong scissors them inside the tight heat. he spreads his fingers apart and spits again at the opening, watching your holes suck him in like they were craving him just as much as he was craving you.
“my favourite is– ah!” you cry out instead of completing your answer as he forces the fingers all the way to the base inside your ass, splitting the virgin hole open.
Hongjoong rubs the expanse of your back, leaning over you to kiss your spine.
“what is it, baby?” Hongjoong mumbles onto your skin, grinding his cock into you.
“double chocolate muffins,” you whine out.
by now you’re completely over this conversation that’s taking double effort to carry on. all you would like is to cry out at the unforgiving stimulation Hongjoong’s offering you. on the other hand, Hongjoong seems hellbent on asking you questions that make your head spin.
why are we taking about desserts when he’s splitting my holes apart? what kind of dirty talk is this?
“give me your hands,” standing upright, Hongjoong makes the final request of the night.
you remove your hands from the table and push them behind you, shoulders popping at the change of position. Hongjoong gathers your hands, crossing them at your lower back and grasping both your wrists in his palms. he steadies his feet on the floor and gives an experimentally rough push inside your weeping cunt.
when you moan out almost dreamily, he starts a sudden brutal pace. as his thrusts push you forward on the table, he uses his grip on your wrists to pull you back. he stills his fingers inside your asshole, letting the push and pull of his cock and hand suck in his fingers and spit them out of your asshole.
your body shivers in time with his strokes. white noise fills your ears as you let Hongjoong fill your holes shut with his fingers and his cock. you wish there was something filling your mouth as well. nearly begging Hongjoong to let go of your wrists and fill your mouth with his digits instead, you bite your lip. you don’t want to risk him depriving you of the penetration you were allowed as well.
tears blur your vision as the slapping noises of Hongjoong’s skin against yours get faster and louder. you try to swallow as many noises as you can, not yet ready to let anyone else know what’s happening inside his office. but you’re sure, if that’s what Hongjoong would have wanted, you wouldn’t be opposed to it.
your train of thoughts is broken when your stomach tightens, teetering on the edge of your long awaited orgasm.
“i’m– i’m close,” you half babble, drunk on the multiple stimuli breaking you at an atomic level.
one of your legs pulls off the floor, bending at your knee when Hongjoong curls his fingers inside you, dragging them out of your walls only to push back in even more forcefully. your breathing gets quicker and irregular as you find it hard to gulp in any oxygen.
seeing your broken state, Hongjoong removes his cock from the loving embrace of your walls and his hand leaves your wrists as well. he takes a quick glance at the skin, red and slightly bruised by his torturous grip. he takes his pulsing cock in his hands and taps your cunt rapidly.
occasionally, his tip catches onto your clit and the stimulation drags out wanton whines from you. he resumes the thrusts of his fingers inside your ass, moving them in the same pace as of his dick. it’s when his dick catches on to your clit in one particularly forceful tug and he pushes at it deliberately, that you cum. eyes squinting shut, your mouth hangs open as your pussy gushes out, empty and throbbing, messying up Hongjoong’s floor and his expensive desk.
Hongjoong lets you ride out your orgasm, removing his fingers from you when you hiss and push at his hand. he sneaks his dirty hand to your panties, pushing his cock snug inside the crotch and rubs his cock roughly.
hips jerking in the very next moment, he spills his seed inside your panties. the thick load slipping down your ass and getting soaked in the scarlet fabric. stilling, Hongjoong grabs the dry part of your panties and fixes them over your skin. the fabric immediately slathers more of his cum on your skin and you whine in discomfort.
his hand cups your ruined slit, wet from a mixture of his cum and your own and pats it once, twice before removing himself from your body. sitting back down on his chair, he tries to catch his breath, eyeing your ripped stockings and sticky panties.
“i’ll go order double chocolate muffins for you,” he states, leaning forward to kiss your clothed core and grab his phone.
i want that wet slow tongue kissing where you’re pressed right up against each other grinding and biting and grabbing and moaning and saying nasty stuff to each other GOD
By this time next week I will officially no longer have a chest. We are getting into the final moments now, hopefully now they will go by quicker. I have two days of class left this week, the weekend, two days of finals, and then surgery. Im hoping now that I have work that will also help things go a little quicker, dead week and the first days of finals is usually pretty busy.
My surgeon wants me to drink this "pre-surgery drink" two hours before my surgery. Its full of carbs and some protein and the studies I have read show that it shortens recovery, but the thing is I think I will throw up if I drink it. The biggest symptom of anxiety for me is nausea. So if I drink this whole thing (12 oz I think) there is a very high chance I will just throw it back up, and that is not good for surgery. They might even refuse to opperate if I throw up. I am going to ask them about not drinking it when they call to confirm my surgery time. I'm sure they wont really care if I don't since it isnt nessecary. I asked my mom (an RN) and she says that it shouldnt matter if I take it or even if I throw up as long as its because of nerves, but you can never be sure.
Wow only a week. So close! I cant wait until tommorow, the busiest day of my week. That day should go by nice and quick although I have to wake up at 6 am. I just want it to be here already, to get it over with. I mean obviously I am excited, but I'm also nervous and a little scared. Its surgery, and even if it is a rather low risk surgery thats still scary especially since this is my first surgery ever.
After tommorow I have no more class, only work and finals. That will be such a relief and I am so excited for next semester. I dont know why the idea of going to class without a chest excites me so much. I guess because it will be the first time I am going to class without feeling like I have something to hide. There are a lot of little things I cant wait to do. Wear a tank top, wear a white shirt, go swimming, a lot of summer activities, just being able to be shirtless whenever I want.
I worry that even though I have had this surgery being shirtless will be awkward around those who knew me before my transition. I still feel that feelings society ingrained into me that I should never be shirtless. I'm especially worried about my family, they still misgender me all the time, I know they still see a girl when they look at me. I dont think this surgery will change anything for them. Infact I am pretty sure my mom will misgender me while at the hospital. I feel like being shirtless infrount of them will be awkward no matter what because even with a flat chest they will still see me as having breasts, as a woman.
I'm finishing writing this at 12:04 which means that technically its Thursday, yay! I dont care about time, until I have slept its still Wednesday. I don't know if these posts make any sense or if anyone even reads them, I just wanted to journal my feelings coming up to surgery so that maybe it would help someone I guess. It felt like a good idea but now it feels a little dumb since every single one of these is just me being impatient.
concept: a shy boy moaning pathetically each time you touch a certain spot and turning bright red every time because he’s trying so hard to keep it in but it just feels so good and he can’t help himself
