something that drives me crazy in the pro-para community is the amount of radqueers that are "pro-contact" or "pro-consent"
I'm not radqueer myself. I'm actually very critical of the community at large. Because of how contradictory the radqueer community itself tends to be, I'm very skeptical of it, but I won't immediately judge anybody who consider themselves under that label. I have seen radqueers who are full on xenosatanists, and radqueers who stand against harm and ableism in the community, while overall being fairly harmless. So I tend to judge radqueers more on an individual basis. But anyways.
I don't know how much clearer I have to be about this.
The big three CANNOT consent.
Animals, dead people and children are incapable of consent. That is why they are the big three. It's not like having an ageplay fetish where you can practice it with a consenting partner. There is no such thing as safe or consensual contact with any of the big three because they do not have the ability to give proper consent, period the end. Any sort of sexual contact with any of them will ALWAYS be abuse, no matter how you phrase it, and the paraphile community as a whole needs to stop treating contact stances like something you can just agree to disagree on. Because what is there to disagree with? Not abusing children/animals/corpses?
I'm very pro para. I'm a big three paraphile myself (not disclosing which one, simply for my own comfort). But I will never advocate for any sort of contact with the big three. The pro-para movement is all about destigmatizing paraphilic attraction, and treating paraphiles (most notably big three paraphiles) like human beings. Because they are. Nobody chooses what they are attracted to, and allowing paraphiles to be open about their experiences with their attraction without fear of persecution, imprisonment or even significant bodily harm actually reduces the risk of harm. Attraction doesn't go away with shame. It only represses the attraction further, and as we all know, repression makes things a MILLION times worse.
However, being pro-para is not, and never will be any sort of advocacy for contact. "Pro-contact" people give paraphiles a bad name, and I personally do not tolerate anybody who considers themselves as such. Abuse is not a stance to take. It is not something you can agree to disagree with. It is something that needs to be stopped.
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