Started and continued to write a fanfiction that has amassed 8 stories, over a million words, and hundreds of fans, one of whom sends me care packages every year and is saving to help me travel to California to meet her
Discovered I like making video games because of Undertale
Met two of my best friends, who I still feel honored to work with
Voice acted as Alphys for one of the biggest Undertale animations out there, and a lot of other projects as well
Made a Jacksepticeye fan game that he eventually played on his channel and loved and got a personal thank you from him in the video
Amassed thousands of fans from said fan game
Was able to help a lot of people emotionally because of my game
Went to PAX East and met Jack in person
Helped to make a DLC and first chapter for the sequel to said fan game, both of which have gotten extremely good reviews
Got an associate’s degree in game design with honors
Got my first 4.0 GPA ever
Traveled to Michigan, Massachusetts, New Jersey, and Georgia to meet friends I made because of my fan works, and had people come out from Ohio, Indiana, New Jersey, and Georgia to see me because of the fan works.
Discovered I am a Womb Twin Survivor and was able to name and honor my twin sister, Lily Grace
Was able to make lots of improvements since learning about my twin
Finally found a church I love and feel like God is working in my life
This past decade, I also…
Was involved in 3 failed romantic relationships, 2 of which were emotionally abusive, and decided I didn’t want to ever be romantically involved with anyone again
Failed out of college twice
Was in a psych ward because of how close I came to killing myself and nearly did so on multiple occasions
Worked lots of jobs that I hated
Wrote dozens of fanfictions which didn’t get any recognition
Got a bit of an ego because of my puny accomplishments and lost a lot of my friends because of it
Discovered that I am a Womb Twin Survivor, which means I will always be a little bit lonely and will struggle with missing my sister my entire life. I will also always be at risk for bad relationships and self sabotage, and I will always struggle with it with no hope of ever fully recovering.
Was there, petting my beloved dog of almost 13 years as she died and I sobbed my eyes out for a week afterward (and still sometimes cry about it)
Had projects canceled on me without my permission and lashed out at my friends who were involved, some of whom refuse to speak to me because of it
Realized I hate game design as a possible career and had to finish my degree despite it, since I was almost done
Had to do an additional semester of college because I switched majors
Realized the improvements I made because of the discovery of my twin will never be known to people I hurt and grieve over our lost friendships
Started cringing at some of my older works, because of how much I’ve grown as a writer
Was involved in several churches which made me feel lonely, and one in which the pastor was incredibly condescending.
Used my sufferings to create a fanfiction and a fan game so that other people wouldn’t feel so alone
I know those posts about the decades tend to airbrush the events. The truth is, decades are decades, and even the best ones come with drawbacks. I don’t want to be fake. I’m glad I got a lot done, but I also struggled a lot. I don’t expect the 20s to be any different, and if I can do better than I did before, I’ll be happy.
romaincrisis
jbbartram-illu
jacobvanloon
