Yaya

A bitch can waffle

[technicallity]

sometimes I wanna reply “bitch me too” to my mutuals posts but I’ve never talked 2 them so they might not see it as friendly joking so i just dont

[jadefyre]

reblog if it’s okay to say “bitch me too” to you if you’re mutuals

[darklightescape]

[haechanluvr04]

Late night thoughts//Haechan

{23:30}

“Are you a fundamentalist?”

A few seconds went by as they nervously awaited for his response.

“Not because it’s cliché, but I just don’t believe that a god would have time to plan everything out for everyone. Unless we were the lucky few who were being controlled like the Sims. But even then the ‘god’ would be doing whatever without thinking about it”

“Hyuck what the fuc-”

“Basically no”

Rolling over the bed they propoed their head on their arm and closely stared at the boy besides them. Their eyes traced over his fluffy brown hair that draped neatly over his almond shaped eyes, complementing his honey skin so perfectly. Their eyes glazed past his heart shaped lips to fix onto the mole on his neck.

“Hey phineas WHATCHU DOOOIN??”

“I don’t even know what I’m looking at, my eyesight is so shitty right now”

Through the darkness they could see his lips curl into a smile

God how is he so pretty, and smart, and dumb, and funny, and kind, and caring, and childish, and annoying, and-

“What about you?”

“What?”

“Do you believe in the bible?”

“Thats not what we were just-”

“Like do you think everything that happened in it was true?”

“No. I think it’s all like a metaphor for humanity and it’s supposed to teach Christians how ‘to love thy neighbour’ and shit but all these other people are like dissecting every single word in that thing like damn. Chill. Just because Mary was a virgin doesn’t mean you should shame people for having sex like stfu”

“Omg yeah I never realised Mary was a teen mum”

“I’d be so scared if I was her, like imagine just having a child inside you, without consent btw, and giving birth. Also it’s not like everyone was super understanding either, like didn’t Joseph’s sister kick her out of her house when she was about to give birth cuz she was pregnant?”

“I’m kinda just glad that Joseph cared for her and wasn’t a bitch”

“Awwwww that’s actually so cute”

“Calm down you’re not pregnant, OR”

“Tell me WHOES THE DAD”

They screamed at the statement trying to hide their embarrassment. It wasn’t unusual of him to say stuff like this though.

“Well would you let me be your Joseph then?”

“Idk I don’t think you’re dad material like no offence but I’d probably pick someone more mature”

“Ok FULL OFFENCE but I don’t think you’re half the parenting material that I am, I watched every single plant in your room die and NEVER said anything about it”

They half wheezed at his passive aggressiveness, finding it half cute and half hilarious.

“Ok but if it just happened and I had no other choice I’d probs pick you over anyone else”

“That’s not what you just said”

“I mean you’re really fucking annoying and dumb but you can also be serious if you want and I feel like you being immature just means that babies will like you”

“That’s actually the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me”

He looked away for a while

“I don’t think I’d wanna be a dad right now, but maybe in the future-”

“-you want kids?”

“Actually I was gonna say have babies with you, but same thing”

He said while wriggling his eyebrows.

Saying something so bold would usually be normal to them, but this time it made them shy and nervous.

Hiding their face further into their arms they softly whispered back

“I guess that would be nice or whateva”

Haechan slapped their body suddenly

“Oi what tHE HELL”

“Having babies with me would statistically rise your life expectancy by 73%”

“So”

“So I’m saying once I put a demon inside you I’m here for life”

“Go to sleep donghyuck”

With that he softly chuckled and rolled over leaving a flustered body beside him.

[haechanluvr04]

ROYALTY!BTS

I’ve been daydreaming about this recently

Kim Namjoon

. Commander in the army of the Kim kingdom

. Close to the king

. Also Jin’s personal bodyguard

. Came from outside the kingdom and was born into a poor family

. Taken in to train because the commander at the time saw potential in him

. They saw him hunting in the woods for animals (since his family couldn’t afford to buy meat)

. Very educated in literature and the arts

. Has billions of poems that he’s too unconfident to publish that he reads to Jin

. Has had eyes on the king’s sister princess Jisoo ever since they were young (she kinda has eyes for him too)

. Jin’s keen on getting her married now

. Finds fairytale book fascinating and often reads them in his spare time

. Favourite book is beauty and the beast (cuz Belle reminds him of Jisoo☺️)

. Master at fencing and currently teaching prince Jungkook

. DIMPLESSSS!!!!!

. His friendly aura naturally makes him popular in the kingdom and has all the ladies in the palace swooning over him

. Mistakes all the attention he gets as a bad thing

“Every time I walk past all their heads turn, I can’t help but feel judged”

. Jin doesn’t help

“Omg yeah they all think you’re a massive twat especially Jisoo”

Kim Seok Jin

. King of the Kim empire

. Father passed away making him the youngest king in the region

. This leads onto him believing that he’s too inexperienced and not fit enough for the throne

. Prefers when people call him ‘highness’ or ‘sir’ since the thought of being king still terrifies him

. Often takes trips to the Jeon empire to ask for advice and build strong bonds

. Even though he thinks he’s unfit to rule the people and well-being of his kingdom have benefitted massively since he was crowned

. Would’ve found joon and jisoo’s relationship cute if he was a prince from another kingdom but considers him his brother

. Which is why he finds it gross and incestuous

“You know I could throw u in prison if you two get married”

. Speaking of gross - can’t stand his cousin

. Thinks he wastes resources throwing all these extravagant parties but at least he isn’t doing nothing

. He’s known far and wide for his kind hearted ness and stunning good looks

“You know, joon, they call me worldwide handsome now”

“Who? The voices in your head”

Park jimin

. Wealthy noble living inside the palace

. Jin’s childhood bestie

. Mother was a dancer which explains why he grew up alongside Jin and joon

. Whore for Masquerades and Balls

. Helps Tae organise all the palace events even if it’s just a tea party for Jisoo and her friends

. Has met and danced with Hoseok unknowingly many times

. Knows it’s him but doesn’t know it’s hobi if that makes sense (cuz of the masks)

. Aggressive gay for hobi

. Father always used to push him to be manly which is why he became a dancer to directly rebell

“Who cares if I’ve never touched a sword in my life, at least I’m prettier than half the people in this kingdom”

Kim Tae Hyung

. Cousin to the king

. Close with Jimin

. Ran away from his parent’s home cuz they wanted him to have an arranged marriage

. People assume he’s afraid of commitment but he actually finds marriage sacred and believes that one day he’ll find the right one

. Now living in the palace permanently temporarily

. Believes you should value the finer things in life - hence all the parties

. Finds Balls a great way to meet new people from outside the kingdom

. Always hopes that he will find his soulmate

. Sadly doesn’t, but he knows they’re out there

. Has a keen eye for Jewellery and is planning to open a business as a way to show gratitude to the king

. Also like Jin he’s been getting a lot of attention recently not only for his parties but for his angelic appearance

“Jin, please let me throw another Ball, pretty please!”

“ITS LITERAKKY BEEN A WEEK!”

Min Yoon Gi

. Adviser to prince Jungkook of the Jeon empire

. Kinda like a manager for jk

. Takes him to various events and kingdoms to teach him how to behave when he becomes king

. Used to be a musician for the palace until jk’s 16th birthday when he was appointed adviser at his practice coronation

. Grew up with Hoseok as they were both in the choir when they were boys

. But then puberty.......and hobi joined the army

. Skilled in fencing but gets carried away when he’s teaching jk which is why he prefers to be taught by joon

. Slight drinking problem?

. Calls it acquired taste

. Says he can tell the difference between red and white wine by the sound

. Actually maybe he was drunk.....or a genius

. Jk never listens to him even though he’s his fricking adviser

. But he’s still maturing and he has a soft spot for the young prince anyways

. Has faith that he’ll be a great ruler

“Whatever you do Jungkook, don’t ride that horse”

“.......I think I’m gonna ride that horse”

Jung Ho Seok

. Knight and personal bodyguard of prince Jungkook

.LITERALL KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR

. Appointed personal bodyguard at jk’s 16th birthday

. Super super loyal to the Jeon empire

. Would die for the jungkook in an instance

. Often doesn’t think before he does things which is why having yoongi working with him is useful

. They work in a weird yin-yang kind of relationship

. Can be very damaging helpful for the prince as he’s learning

. Very skilled with knives and bows and arrows making him look really cool in front of the prince

. Extremely caring, always asks jk if he’s alright when he’s protecting him

. Radiant smile never fails to make jk feel better when he’s upset

. Also a very keen dancer and he always takes jk with him to every ball the Kim empire throw

. Bonus cuz he gets to see jimin and jk gets to hang out with joon

“Look at it this way, yoongi, by taking Jungkook to this ball, not only am I enhancing his social skills but I’m also showing him how to behave when he has to throw his own parties in the future, everyone wins”

Jeon Jung Kook

. Prince and heir to the Jeon empire

. Basically being raised by yoongi and hobi for these past few years, he’s grow a lot more confidence, but that doesn’t neglect the fact fact that this boy is still shy shy shy

. Idk if hanging around 1 and a half crackheads helps boost your confidence but whatever floats your boat i guess

. Never really being able to talk or trust anyone growing up lead to his timid nature

. However this gives him a strong sense of sympathy and understanding, never hesitating to help someone in need

. Enjoys painting outside and horses🤠

. Horse girl

. Looks up to Namjoon a lot since he’s really smart, good looking, can fight, really cool etc. hobi gets highkey pissed every time he starts talking about joon

. He also looks up to him because that’s what he considers a great ruler, and Namjoon is who he aspires to be

. Found yoongi annoying at first, telling him what to do and what not to do

. Only started listening after that horse he told him not to ride kicked him in the dick

. Didn’t believe Hoseok was a real knight until he saved him from two kidnappers disguised as guests at a ball they were at

. His prejudices only fueled his love for the two of them now

. Yoongi taught him to be well mannered, cultured, respective, and honest

. Whereas Hoseok taught him how to survive with only a dagger and his hope

. The combination of the two couldn’t make up for a better king

“Would you like some free samples”

‘Yoongi would kindly accept them and eat but hobi would drop kick this grandma and dispose of the poison’

“I’m actually a vegan, I can’t eat blueberries”

[haechanluvr04]

NCT DREAM : Private School Boys!au (part 2)

Glossary n other shit in part 1 since I didn’t wanna re write it but

Phones - we have to hand in our phones before we go to bed if we’re boarders

Chenle

International boarder from China 🇨🇳

Rich af

No one knows what his parents do so everyone thinks they’re like secret agents or something

Buys expensive gifts for his friends on their birthday

Bought Jisung a Rolex once and when he lost it he bought him another one

Wardrobe consists of Off-White, Bape and Puma cuz he’s that type of rich teen

Always posts mirror selfies with flash on snapchat @presidentlele

Flexes harder than lil’Tay

Has three phones so he can still text on the gc after he’s handed his phone in

The third phone is for if he gets caught with his second one

L2 - not in the same set as Jisung, but still hangs out with him after lessons

Rly good at maths

Prefect

Says he fits in perfectly with the Chinese boarder stereotype

Head of house cuz he couldn’t be head of year

Once paid the house parents to let him share a room with Jisung

It worked

Got moved down from the C’s to the D’s in rugby and when the coach couldn’t be bribed by money, he said that sports wasn’t important

“My dad can sue yours”

Voted most likely to become supreme leader

Everyone wants to be like him

Jisung

A model

Always gets asked by the photography club if they can take photos of him

Knows Jaemin is jelly

R2 - not the same set as Chenle but it doesn’t bother him cuz he actually likes the ppl in his set

Doesn’t really pay attention in squads cuz all he wants to do freestyle

Once in P.E, the teacher played music and he got carried away

AND CAN THIS BOY DANCE

ppl started sneaking their phones into class so they could take videos of him

Instagram is aesthetic af @G_SunG02

Chenle secretly made a fan acc for him

Makes everyone swoon over him cuz he’s so shy and sweet

Voted school heart throb

Wow this au took way longer than I expected.

- yaya

[haechanluvr04]

NCT DREAM : Private School Boys!au (part 1)

A glossary for all yall who don’t attend a private school~

Sports - Rugby, Hockey and Cricket (played depending on the seasons like Cricket is played during Summer)

Teams - A,B,C,D ect... (A is the for the ppl best at the sport and it goes down from there) I’m in the E’s

Squads - practising sports after school

Groups - idk bout other schools but my year is randomly split into L & R

Sets - there r three sets for L & R and u have most of yr lessons with ppl in the same English set as u but maths and science r different (for example I’m in R1)

Colours - badges u get for being güd at certain subjects kinda salty that I only have 1 colour

Houses - u know, like in Harry Potter but like 10x more competitive

Daily - someone who goes to school normally

Boarder - someone who ‘lives’ in school until the term breaks (oh ye and I’m a British boarder)

International - a boarder from another country

House parents - ppl who look after the boarders

Prefects and Monitors - things that I’m not ppl who help teachers out

Tuck - extra food like sweets n stuff

In this au the private school is in England cuz that’s where I’m from

Anyways~

Mark

International boarder from Canada 🇨🇦

Patiently waiting for the Summer holidays cuz this boy has been working HARD

Coffee and Redbull literally flow through his veins during exam week cuz he barely blinks at night

R1 - hates half his set but still talks to them to make himself look social

Surprisingly shit at Rugby but somehow in the A’s for hockey

Once made Renjun beat the shit outta him to skip squads for Rugby

Head of year (deserves it)

Bottom set science but top set maths

Music teacher loves him

ppl in his music set actually pay him to write songs for them sometimes

Sneaks tuck in his bedroom cuz he a bad bih

Spends the 9 week Summer holidays to update his insta @100%fullycapable

Posts too much about Haechan

Voted most likely to become successful

Everyone loves him💖

Haechan

A daily but spends most weekends at the boarding house cuz his dad is always away

Family own a massive hotel in London, Meaning he gets a discount every time he visits

Tried to bring the dreamies to the hotel once but got kicked out cuz: Mark touched shit every 5 seconds, Renjun kept stealing mints from the receptionist, Jisung used the ‘staff only bathroom’, and Chenle basically shattered glass with his dolphine laugh

(Jaemin and Jeno claim to have done nothing)

They hung out with the pigeons until his dad picked them up 3 hours later

Brings tuck for the rest of the boarders cuz they usually run out after two weeks

R3 - moved down from R2 cuz he told his English teacher that Shakespeare wasn’t the greatest writer in literature, but that John Green was after reading the fault in our stars

Blames all the misfortune in the world towards his English teacher

Luvs physics

Doesn’t like talking about sports cuz he’s in the D’s for everything claims that he used to play ice hockey nationally and that “real hockey is for losers”

But it’s ok tho cuz he’s deputy head of year with mark and a prefect

Voted for most likely to become famous

Everyone thinks he’s a tsundere but he likes it ✌️•3•✌️

Renjun

Another daily who spends too much time in the boarding house

First went to the boarding house after his brother threw his xbox out of the window during an argument

The house parents let him stay in Chenle’s room and he stayed up all night crying about how it took him over 300 hours to establish a wealthy status, family and job in Sims 4

L1 - tops set for science and maths as well

Art teacher saw him drawing moomins in the corner of his book and said “why are you drawing cartoons?”

So he spray painted bitch all over the wall of her office

He got away with it tho

Captain of the A’s in hockey and almost chocked Haechan when he said “real hockey is for losers”

In his defence his feelings were hurt

Art and D.T monitor

Voted for best hair

Everyone wants to be his friend cuz he’ll dab on your grave if u piss him off

Jaemin

Daily who doesn’t want to go anywhere near the boarding house

“It’s so unhygienic inside, like once I had to stay over and when I jumped into the bed, a cloud, like a CLOUD of dust fell on me. It was so sad, I had to shower for like two hours straight when I got back home, thats why I always carry a spare bottle of hand sanatiser”

Mark gets highkey pissed that he has to wash his hands before and after hanging out with him, but Jeno says it’s just a phase

OVER DRAMATIC

Best actor in school, and knows it

Thinks everyone is out to eliminate him whenever he gets the lead role in a play but ties to ‘take out’ the lead if he isn’t

Never shows up to squads

Self proclaimed insta model @bbynana

Forced Asked Jeno to make him a fan account and designated him as his personal photographer

Cried when Irene Kim requested to follow him but broke his phone when he realised it was a fan account

L3 - threw a massive tantrum once when Jeno was off school

Voted for prettiest smile

Everyone wants to be tagged by him

Jeno

Daily - parents don’t want him to leave home

L3 - with Jaemin all day

Supposed to be top set in science but the teachers didn’t wanna deal with Jaemin’s bullshit

LUVS CHEMISTRY and literally wrote till death do us apart on his book

The whole class always looks at him weirdly in science cuz he gets excited to balance symbol equations

Has daily photo shoots with Jaemin every lunch time and once took a really good photo that Jaemin wanted as his new profile pic, but accidentally deleted it

Jaemin was so salty that he almost didn’t talk to him for half an hour

Voted runner up for prettiest smile

Everyone thinks he’s a pure ball of sunshine cuz he’s always smiling

OMG first post!

Part 2 is about Jisung and Chenle~

- yaya