She shakes her head. "O- only this," she quickly dispels that trail of thought. "Not hiphop, I can't dance hiphop," she smiles before quickly dropping it out of habit. How long has she danced... Kyoka pauses, unsure how to explain her complicated history with it. "My grandma was a dancer, kenbu was always part of my life. This is all new though," she looks around, "kpop dance. To me, that is."
while the others smile dropped rather quickly, haewon noticed it and smiles in return. "i can't dance at all." she let out a soft laugh. "i've been trying to get the hang of it since i joined, but i still feel like i look very awkward." it was true. her dance skills were nothing compared to the other trainees around. she was one of the only ones around who didn't grow up dancing, and it definitely showed when she was in a room full of her peers.
"do..do you mind showing me how to do...that?" she asked her softly. "if you're too busy i totally understand and i'm really sorry for interrupting you." haewon felt embarrassed for asking such a thing to someone she didn't even know their name. but at this point, she was desperate for any kind of dance exposure.
โi see. so you are.โ bitna confirms, in spite of narrowing her eyes into a borderline judgemental squint, searching upon haewonโs face for any trace of a joke. then, shoulders roll into a light shrug. โwhat do you think, haewon?โ the name leaves a strange aftertaste on her tongue, rusty and metallic, it leaves her grimacing internally. โiโm training here, too.โ
she expected that reaction from her, and yet it still somehow stung just how harsh she sounded toward her. so instead she just nods her head at her. "well...i hope things are going well for you." she says with a smile on her face. and she meant it. she hoped that bitna was enjoying her time here and was filled with the excitement that she wish she had herself.
bitna was very pretty, she couldn't deny that. she decided to keep that compliment to herself though, scared of what the other might say to her. "how long have you been here? it's kinda crazy we are only just now running into each other..especially if you've been here a while."
haewon was visibly uncomfortable, but bitna was family after all. even if they were practically strangers, she wanted to at least try to make conversation with her.
my favorite thing about the summer months is being able to go out and explore and travel to things that are usually closed once it gets a little colder out. what about you?ย
In that split second she's immediately able to cross off the new girl as a fellow intake or junior trainee, leaving only the option of a senior. Immediately she's in a 90ยฐ bow and profusely apologizing for the disturbance before she starts scrambling for her belongings to leave.
haewon was shocked at the way she had suddenly stopped and was now bowing and apologizing. she quickly put her hands out to try and stop her moving forward and shushing her. "no no no no!" she started saying with a soft laugh. "i was just admiring you." after she said those words out loud, she realized just how weird it probably sounded. "not...not like that but.." she stuttered.
haewon cleared her throat and took a deep breath. "i like how you dance. you make it look so easy. have you been doing it long?" she asked her in a soft voice. she had hoped that she wouldn't run off now that she had been 'caught'. haewon truly wanted the help of the other. she wanted to know how to make the moves look so soft and gentle, yet powerful at the same time.
๐ haewon finds herself scared from the very beginning nostalgia was announced. the idea of being filmed made her knees shake. growing up, she had been in front of all kinds of cameras because of her acting roles. but it had been years since she had been, and even then it was never anything like this.
๐ while she loved all of the weeks performances, week 1 was definitely her favorite. only because she felt proud of herself. which was something she hadn't felt in herself in a long timeโฆ.if ever.
๐ in the future, haewon won't work herself so hard. even though she knows that that's what helped her, she also knows that it isn't healthy for her to stay up at all hours of the night.
๐ she's learned that asking for help isn't a scary thing and that people genuinely want to help.
๐ she would love to improve her breath control. that was one thing she didn't practice and she found herself more out of breath than she wanted to be.
๐ haewon is slowly becoming more and more comfortable within her own skin. she had put in her head all those years that the industry was this big bad monster. all because she grew up never having any privacy. people were always in her and her parents business, but after these performances she's realized why so many people enter this line of work. you feel accomplished, proud and confident in what you put out there. it's also fun to perform for othersโฆwhich was something she'd never thought she would admit.
๐ she really wants to learn how to be not so hard on herself. more times than not during this, she found herself talking down to herself. being mean when she didn't need to be. she wants to be kinder to herself, because she realizes that this is hard work and it's not going to get any easier over night. she's going to need to work hard and keep her head high.
๐ she never has danced a day in her life until recently. sure, her and her friends would make up silly little choreographies to their favorite songs as kids, or dance to the latest trends in musicโฆbut she was never serious about it. not until she joined lgc. nostalgia really helped her realize that it was definitely something that she needed to work on. while she wasn't bad, she definitely doesn't line up with half of her peers.
finally, after what felt like a lifetime of struggling, haewon felt comfortable enough to be on stage. as if she had a choice anyway. she had gotten loads of help during the weeks of preparation. she felt lucky that her peers were kind enough to stay back and help her. especially because they were also stressed with the upcoming performances.
week one. deep breaths. she had been in front of cameras before, but she was much younger. and she wasn't doingโฆ.this. she wasn't doing something she had never done before or what felt natural to her even. this was all so new to her. it felt like a lifetime before that first beat of music played in her ears. in fact, she thought she had missed the first beat all together. leave it to her to think about other things right before the first performance.
she wondered if this is really the best idea for her. if this was really what she wanted to do with her life. she had promised herself for years that she would never be a part of the entertainment industry. which included this. she couldn't help but wonder if her parents were actually proud of her for following their footsteps. or if they were just putting on a brave face so they wouldn't scare her.
those thoughts quickly vanished after that first beat of music.
she felt a rush of excitement that she had never felt before. her body began to move the moment the music started. she figured that was all muscle memory, as she was internally panicking. more than she cared to admit actually. but then she realized, that she was actually having fun. she was hitting every move. every note. and having the time of her life!
once the music stopped, she couldn't stop smiling. she had done it. she had made it through the first week of performances without stumbling or messing up anything. she was proud of herself and she hoped that her parents would be too.
she couldn't wait to get off that stage and call them and tell them all about it. she knew they would be so excited.
to say that haewon was a nervous wreck with the nostalgia schedules coming up was the biggest understatement of the year. haewon was in no way ready to perform in front of a camera for all of the country to see. there was no denying the fact that she wasn't as good as her peers. some of these girls had been working hard since they were children. while she had been signed with an entertainment company before, it was for something completely different! acting and singing and dancing were on complete opposite spectrums of the entertainment world. sometimes she wondered if she was choosing the right path for herself.
she found practices to be hard and tiring. not being able to keep up with even the simplest tasks. she watched as the people around her picked things up as if they were nothing, while she stood there considering walking right out the door. but one thing she didn't want to do, was disappoint her parents. they had had so much faith in her. they were so proud of her for following their footsteps and her getting her foot into the entertainment world, in whatever way she possibly could. while it was something she never even wanted to do for herself, she knew it was going to be the best thing for her.
and here she was. standing in the middle of an empty practice room hours after her peers had left. staring at herself in the mirror.
"why can't you be like everyone else, yoon haewon?" she asked herself. "they all make it look so easy, and you can't even keep up."
she dropped her head and let out a soft sigh before playing the first week's song for the nth time that day. a feeling of defeat coming over her as she felt like there was no way she'd ever be prepared for this show.
but she didn't give up. she wanted to prove to everyone that she was capable of doing this. she wanted to prove to herself that she was capable of doing this.
she stayed hours after each group practice hoping that she'd feel more comfortable with the dances and the everything else. she worked until she couldn't physically work anymore.
eventually she found herself content with how much she had improved. and she was actually excited for her first performance. she was excited to show off what exactly she had worked so hard for.
thereโs a fair amount of shock currently coursing through veins, but doesnโt reach bitnaโs visage โ a frown long formed. โso,โ after a long period of silence, letting tension drag its claws through the air unrelentingโlike. โwhat are you doing here?โ
it had been years since haewon and seen bitna, or really any of her family on her fathers side. they must have been little girls the last time they even spoke, so when she saw the other walking in the same hallway as her she was shocked. she wasn't ever entirely sure why her family had decided to exile haewon's family, her father didn't really speak on it, but seeing her here made haewon feel an immediate discomfort.
as someone who hated confrontation, the question from bitna took her by surprise. she fully expected to be ignored as they passed each other and went about their day. "um.." haewon mumbled out. she thought for a second about acting like she had no idea who bitna was, but decided against it. there was no bad blood between them, only their fathers. so why should she take out something she had no idea about on someone she hadn't seen since she was probably a toddler.
"unfortunately, i'm here to train." she said in a half joking way. which probably wasn't the best idea. while the two were cousins, they didn't really know each other at all. haewon clears her throat again and nods over to the younger girls direction. "what are you doing here?"
haewon knew that people would kill to be in the position she was in now. training to be in the next big group. to be well known and loved, but she wasn't entirely sure how she got in this position. it wasn't anything she wanted to do. not at all. but with the persuasion of her parents, she found herself here. almost three whole years, and she still wasn't as good as she could be. that was her own fault. she really didn't give it her all like she should, but truth be told she was embarrassed. she was always better at acting. singing and dancing was just something she wasn't comfortable with.
that being said, she always found herself sneaking into the practice rooms either early in the morning or late at night. trying her hardest to practice whatever she had learned the day before. it always ended in her being frustrated more than anything. today wasn't any different. she made her way to the practice rooms early that day, and found that her usual pick was taken.
she almost immediately walked out of the room, but was drawn to the girl on the other side of the room. her body flowed so easily with the movements she was throwing out there. haewon leaned against the door frame and crossed her arms as she watched in awe. her arms were crossed against her chest as her jaw dropped. she had never seen the other girl before, but she figured she had to have been doing this for years just by the way she moved so effortlessly.
แถป๏นโ ๐ใ ค ใ ค ใ ค ใ คย sighs, i lost muse for haewon for a little bit due to not getting any plots (my fault completely) SO if you'd like to plot with my girl can you please interact with this? or even send a message i don't mind! i just wanna throw her out there!
location: legacy practice room
date: earlier this year
word count: 508
haewon was always wondering if she had made the right choice in deciding to do something like this with her life. though she felt like she had to sometimes in order to make her parents proud of her.
growing up with two very famous actors as parents was definitely not easy. always living in their shadow and having people ask if she was going to follow in their footsteps was so draining.
however, the praise she got once they found out that she was going to become a trainee made haewon excited to start this new journey. she didn't realize just how hard it was going to be, though.
being critiqued day in and day out really took a toll on her, and more times than not she wanted to back down and give up.
she had done acting when she was younger, and felt comfortable doing that the most. she had never in her life dabbled in any kind of music until she randomly auditioned while shopping with her friends. so being thrown into this was a bit difficult, but most days she had fun learning new things. people even complimented just how talented she was, which made her happy. it made her finally feel separate from her parents. like she could actually do something on her own.
one day during practice, a coach came up to her and pulled her aside. "we want you to start training as a rapper." that took haewon by surprise. she had never even dabbled in that. she began to feel herself panic and spiral over the thought of it. there were so many good rappers in the industry. would she be able to stand out enough? would she be criticized for not being good enough? all these things ran through her mind.
by the way the coach was looking at her, haewon could only assume her panic was written all over her body. the coach reached out to her and smiled. "everything will be okay. we will work through everything with you. and you'll do great. you always do so great at the things you do. we can't wait to see where this takes you."
haewon immediately felt her worry melt away. she had never had someone be so kind to her since being here. someone who was so willing to work with her even if she didn't know if she'd be good or not.
they spent hours and hours together after each and every practice to help haewon grow the confidence and flow she would need to become a rapper. haewon figured this would be something she'd remember for the rest of her life. so she quickly wrote about it in her journal.
"i had the best coach going into my second year. she took the time to work with me. making sure i was comfortable with what i was doing and never ridiculing me for my lack in confidence. she is someone i will always remember, and will always come back to if i need a little help."
แถป๏นโ ๐ใ ค ใ ค ใ ค ใ คย hi everyone! it's ky again (yunseo mun!) with my second baby. things might look a mess right now for her as i'm still trying to put things together, but i'd LOVE to brainstorm and get some plots out there for her!!
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