hafsa daneme

/day•neem/ i am ready to hand my soul to you for an eternity of forevers

[hafsadaneme]

the thing that people get confused with about me not wanting to fall in love is that they assume i am scared of getting hurt, but the reality is that i’m scared of loving someone in the way i’ve seen my father love my mother. in a way that causes only pain.

- h.d

[hafsadaneme]

there’s poetry in everything and it’s quite beautiful really. it’s in the way the moon shines on the sea, it’s in the drops of rain that fall from the vast sky that hovers above us, it’s in the food our mother puts in front of us and it’s in a fathers hug. there is poetry in everything because there is love in everything.

[hafsadaneme]

i just want to be someone people are grateful to have in their life

[hafsadaneme]

loves overrated, lie with me and lets watch the stars disappear

[hafsadaneme]

my poetry has become about you, everything i ever wrote i look at from an outsiders view and imagine only you. you bewitch me completely. i have become yours yet you roam the earth not knowing that there is someone out there who will follow you to the end and wants nothing in return but love. you are unaware that you have someone you own from the lines on her palm to the birthmark on the back of her leg. it all says ‘property of …….

h.daneme, property of you.

[hafsadaneme]

i fear that one day i will fall in love and i will make the mistake of falling for the one who, at any given time, will be able to leave me as if i did not hold the whole universe for him in my hands.

-h.d

[hafsadaneme]

As a child, when i fell, my mum would say, “i will hurt the floor for hurting my darling.” Mother, the whole world has hurt me, now what will you do? How will you break it? 

-h.d

[hafsadaneme]

When i knocked on the door of our old house, it sighed in bereavement of the memories it held, when the door opened it made noises that resembled the wailing of a broken heart, love stood at the door. Answering my ‘hello’ with a ‘he no longer lives here’. You gave up. You gave up on me. You could wait no longer, I don’t blame you. Love looked like he hadn’t slept in a while, as if he was waiting for me to come knocking on his door. I saw him look behind me, ah, death! Loves oldest lover. Death loomed over me. Almost as if she was guarding me, prohibiting me from getting closer to her ex lover, she took me by the hand, ‘he is with me, come.’

- h.d, the old house of our love

[hafsadaneme]

my mum once told me that if somethings hurt me i should cry, i should cry as much as i want but i should also remember that i’m never going to cry over that same thing again. don’t let the same thing hurt you twice

- h.d

[hafsadaneme]

when i find my thoughts drifting to you,

i do nothing to stop them,

if i stopped them i’m afraid they’ll hate me so much that not even once in a while

will they let me think of you.

- h.d

[hafsadaneme]

i showed you a poem about a woman who loved her beloved so much that if she spoke of her love, no one would understand her and all you asked me was why no one could ever love you like that and all i wanted to do in that moment was show you the poetry i had written for you but all i could say was ‘i do’ and laugh it off as a joke.

- h.d

[hafsadaneme]

it’s hard, its so hard to just imagine someone loving me the way i love them. someone loving me with the same amount of intensity that i love.

i am lovable but not in the way my heart desires, i am lovable in the way of a friend,

i am lovable in the way of a sister,

i am lovable in the way of a backup,

i am unlovable in the way of a lover,

i have come upon this realisation and see that there is nothing stopping me now from going out there and living my life because i’m unlovable. no one will ever care what i do or what i don’t do, i’ll never have someone expecting things from me because i’m unlovable, who would be there waiting for me at home when i get back from a hard day of being alive, who will be there to console me in the times i feel i am inconsolable, no one, because i am unlovable. i am capable only of giving love, never receiving it because i have never been on the receiving end of it.

but i must say, it does get quite lonely -having no one.

no one opens the door for me or looks at me with lust filed eyes, no one looks at me and sees what i am trying to hard, no one shears what i am trying to say rather than just what is coming out of my mouth.

yes, quite lonely indeed.

- h.d, excerpts from my thoughts

[hafsadaneme]

strangers ask me if i am okay

they ask of my health

and my wellbeing

they ask if i have eaten

and if i have drank water but not my beloved

my beloved does not ask me.

my beloved does not ask me.

- h.d

[hafsadaneme]

“I refuse to die in your heart and not have anyone know of my death”

[hafsadaneme]

the woman is found only once in the mans life, the same for the man in the woman’s life, and the things apart from that are merely attempts of replacement

Ghassan Kanafani, “Letters from Ghassan Kanafani to Ghada Samman”

[hafsadaneme]

And the moon asked “who was the one that made you fall in love with me?”

[hafsadaneme]

we burn in the flames of unrequited love, like lanterns, we begin burning in the evening

Qateel Shifai