I think that's a really good point! And I agree, Haikyuu is absolutly about winning and losing! But I think it's about more than that as well, which is why I can understand why people might have a different reaction to the results of the national tournament. I think that winning is the most important thing to the characters and the drive behind the story, but whether winning is the most important message of haikyuu I think is more up to the individual watching.
On the topic of winning and losing, another interesting layer to haikyuu, is that you can be on the winning team, but feel like you've lost. Take Hinata after the Wakunan match. He says, "One-on-one, I couldn't beat their #1. He was more of a little giant than me." This is just one example. I think it adds an interesting layer that it's not just enough to win the match, you want to win fair and square, beat them at their best, feel like you had nothing left to give, ect. Each character has a goal they are trying to achieve.
I think what I love best about haikyuu that transcends the final outcome of the matches, is the focus on their growth mindsets.
Hinata is told repeatedly that he isn't tall enough to play and that he is at a huge disadvantage. It's basis of the whole story. But he doesn't let that influence him. In fact that only makes him more determined. It's similar to how Oikawa is told that he's "not a genius." But neither one of them care what other people have to say, because they are willing to work as hard as possible to be the best.
Hinata has a winner's mentality. He's the actual embodiment of "Grit," which according to psychologist, Angela Duckwork, is "passion and sustained persistence applied towards a long-term achievement." (There is actual research about this mindset! It's so cool!!) Hinata's passion for the sport, the drive to get better, and his positive growth mindset pulls everyone up with him, teammates and rivals alike. Over and over, Hinata actually smiles in the face of adversity. He doesn't look at difficult matches and skilled opponent as a problems, but instead as an exciting opportunity for growth. It's what makes his character so inspiring to everyone watching him (including us!).
Yes! Hinata wants to beat everyone and win, especially Kageyama, but I think that it's the friendly rivalry that is so exciting, because they are BOTH rivals and friends.
For me, I feel that the purpose behind haikyuu!! is to inspire people to be gritty: to live a passionate life where you never give up on what you want. That if you succeed or fail, you always get up and try again.
Sorry for the long response :) haikyuu is a lot of fun to talk about because it's so complex.
Also here's a link to Angela Duckworth's talk on Grit for any psychology nerds out there. (It's a book too 👍🏼)
https://youtu.be/H14bBuluwB8
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