"Deal me in."

The Promised One, meant to destroy evil....and his horrible gambling skills. plus his cat girlfriend. (Based off the version of him from Poker Night 2!)

[hailtothekingofthecards]

♠︎ ‐ "Deal me in."

A blog mainly based off of Poker Night's rendition of Ash Williams!

Ask box is open! Feel free to ask anything you'd like!

TAGS

#🪓 (previously a spade) // It's good to be the King. + #🐾 / Every journey's gotta start with a step! - answering asks

#🧟 (previously a spade) // Of course it's the Necronomicon! Now let's play.. + #🐈‍⬛ / Less than three! (You love me!) - general posts/rp stuff

#🐈‍⬛ /// Meowie Zowie! - Out Of Character/mod post

RULES

- Don't get too NSFW when it comes to asks, but it's fine to be a little unhinged.

- DNI criteria is simple, no pedos, proshippers, homophobes, transphobes (especially important when it comes to this blog), etc.

- AvED is (as you can tell) non-canon to this blog, so please no asks about it!

I've watched Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness, have not played Poker Night 2 unfortunately but have watched every single clip of him and listened to every one of his voicelines from the game. Also I haven't read much of the comics, so sorry if i get anything wrong based off of those! This has a bit of my personal touches (and a oc for it), so not fully based off canon! That's all, thank you! 🩷 - Incineroar (mod)

[gh0stbattat]

delete tony from everything.(/j)

- certified tony hater

ok deleting tony right now

[hailtothekingofthecards]

....dude. not cool.

[playerof-theinventory]

I swear, if The Owner actually made a blog here, I’m going to be scared shitless, no joke.

[marierobinson]

Hello Asher.

[playerof-theinventory]

OH WHAT THE FUCK????

[inventorys-finest]

Theres...more. of us.

[hailtothekingofthecards]

I've been here the whole time.

Meow....

She has too.

[hailtothekingofthecards]

"Ashy! Didya hear the news? We're gonna be back soon!"

"Hm?...oh. Well, we're gonna have to wait a while. But hell, I haven't been on in a long time. Guess we can spend the time like this."

Hi I haven't been normal. The askblog is back. Come ask ash and his stupid silly girlfriend questions. - Incineroar 🐈‍⬛

[cinna-meow]

RP BLOG REFORMATTING WOAGH.

Hello everynyan it's yours truely, Incin. Also known as @hailtothekingofthecards and @incingalmeow

Uhhhh this is a main thought bout how i want them to be goin forward. IncinGalMeow might become active again as an inventory au account for IF, but for now it stays up as an archive of MOST stuff from my fwend @bugzzzz-sillyyy's inventory blog. As for Ash's blog....

I think im gonna make it Ashcinder instead of Ash and Selene. Just for my personal enjoyment and also cause twin stars au is still a full wip. So yeah. Anticlimatic? Maybe. But i thought it'd be inportant.

Another thought? I mightttr make a freakshow au blog. But i don't wanna abandon another one.

[hailtothekingofthecards]

Dear Ash Wililliams,

How the heck have you not, like, totally brawled with dorkatron 500? He's such a LOSER!

Many Regards, whatever that means,

-- @strong-bad-electronic-mail

gee, the roles have reversed.

Well, he never really showed up. I think Brocko killed him.

Not that climactic I guess. But from the way you describe him, I'm kinda glad...

[hailtothekingofthecards]

[Selene is banging on the door, in a Juliet Starling costume.]

Ash! Open the doorrrr....you can't be taking that long to get ready!

[...no response.]

I heard you yelling like crazy! It was just like that one horror movie! C'mon, I gotta get in costume! Ugghh....fine! Give me the silent treatment!

[hailtothekingofthecards]

ASH TYCHO'S MISSING AND CHARLIE'S TRYING TO SET THE INVENTORY ON FIRE HELP

...let him. I don't care.

[hailtothekingofthecards]

How would you deal against cheaters? Specifically in dice games.

It's not that the cheaters are really good. They're not really that good at cheating, though. Their boss usually catches them before they can start any "get rich quick" schemes.

Eh..not really a dice guy. So you'd have to look for someone else.

What exactly do you mean by that last part? It's weirdly cryptic..

[hailtothekingofthecards]

((Denofdorks)) The sounds of a fridge being raided was all that could be heard, followed by a very...odd voice. It sounded like...a text to speech program? But rest assured, that's just Bob's voice. "Come on, don't they have any good crap in here?"

Oh god, who is it now—...what are you.

[neurotoxinatthepokertable]

Wait, all that time you thought Flapsnap was a girl?

I mean ur evil clone was a girl and she was kindaaa cute ash, even if she looked liek a rotting corpse version of u (⁠〃ﾟ⁠3ﾟ⁠〃⁠)

Not the point.

♠️ + 🩷 // @hailtothekingofthecards

I did. Alas, he is not a butch woman and is instead just a man.

[hailtothekingofthecards]

Would u have still d8d him if he WAS a woman? U never knoww....

[denofdorks-archived]

@hailtothekingofthecards from x

"That's me, friendo! The one and only Supercharged Streamer, Iono!" She winks, her fake magnemites orbited her head with excited expressions.

[hailtothekingofthecards]

...What makes you so special?

[says the chainsaw-boomstick man who works in housewares. You aren't special either, Ash!]

[denofdorks-archived]

"I 'unno! I just put on an internet show watched by folks around the world! And they seem to enjoy it! I mean look at this crowd! I think I might be doin' something good! Also helps that I'm a gym leader!" She giggles. "Alright peoples! Who wants to meet my pokepals!?"

[hailtothekingofthecards]

ME! I wanna see em!

[Ash just rolls his eyes and steps infront of Selene.]

Just give us the autograph and let's get out of here.

Aw man! You're no fun!

[denofdorks-archived]

"....why ya gotta kill the mood mr Guy?" She huffs, and sends out her signature Bellibolt anyway. "Here's my sweetest boy!"

[hailtothekingofthecards]

A frog. We have those in my wor—AAJAAJDUEIDHEIDHEJDJSJEJD

[Ash is interrupted as soon as he touches it due to it electrocuting him. He falls onto the ground.]

...and that's why I bring my gloves!

[Selene slips on a yellow rubber glove onto her right hand and pets the electric-type 'mon. Remember your pokemon types, kids!]

[hailtothekingofthecards]

OH GOD WE'RE LATE—

Nah, it'll be fine. Happy pride month...yeah.

Hey, should also mention this - 🐈‍⬛ (Incineroar)

Ash:

Selene:

Thats all. Happy Pride from a bisexual, demisexual and demiromantic gal - 🐈‍⬛ (Incineroar)

[denofdorks-archived]

@hailtothekingofthecards from x

"That's me, friendo! The one and only Supercharged Streamer, Iono!" She winks, her fake magnemites orbited her head with excited expressions.

[hailtothekingofthecards]

...What makes you so special?

[says the chainsaw-boomstick man who works in housewares. You aren't special either, Ash!]

[denofdorks-archived]

"I 'unno! I just put on an internet show watched by folks around the world! And they seem to enjoy it! I mean look at this crowd! I think I might be doin' something good! Also helps that I'm a gym leader!" She giggles. "Alright peoples! Who wants to meet my pokepals!?"

[hailtothekingofthecards]

ME! I wanna see em!

[Ash just rolls his eyes and steps infront of Selene.]

Just give us the autograph and let's get out of here.

Aw man! You're no fun!

[denofdorks-archived]

@hailtothekingofthecards from x

"That's me, friendo! The one and only Supercharged Streamer, Iono!" She winks, her fake magnemites orbited her head with excited expressions.

[hailtothekingofthecards]

...What makes you so special?

[says the chainsaw-boomstick man who works in housewares. You aren't special either, Ash!]

[denofdorks-archived]

[Chatter surrounded the meet and greet, the Paldean idol being surounded by many...many fans. And then the next group came up.]

Oooohh, I can't believe I'm meeting the Iono! It's my lifelong dream!

[The scene girl was followed by the michigan man, clearly looking tired.]

She's not THAT important if you ask me.

- ♠ + 🩷 / @hailtothekingofthecards

"Your eyeballs are MINE, caught in my Electro-Web! Whosawhatsit? ITS IONO! Ello, ello, hola, ciao and bonjour everybody!" The star of the internet stepped out to face the crowd, giving a little twirl and a cutesy pose. "Its good to see all the ladies, gentlemens and the otherwises! How's it going!?"

[hailtothekingofthecards]

[Selene squeals loudly, while Ash just rolls his eyes. Everyone else is going crazy to just see her in person.] You're...Iono?

[denofdorks-archived]

"WOULD ANYONE LIKE SOME SPAGHETTI! I HAVE MADE IT JUST NOW! MASTERFULLY SO, OF COURSE!" Papyrus posed heroically with a plate of spaghetti. He was always proud of his work.

[hailtothekingofthecards]

Yeah, uh. We need it for the little italian man rummaging through my apartment please.

[He's holding up Mario by the straps of his overalls.]

[denofdorks-archived]

"Hey mamaf**ker! Mario will steal your spaghetti!"

Papyrus, understandably, felt unease at the situation. "I....I SUPPOSE YOU ARE FREE TO INDULGE, MY SMALL HAIRY FRIEND!"

[hailtothekingofthecards]

Language. You're lucky mister skeleton man here is willing to give you it.

I like your style, mister tall cool skeleton! But you need some cool sunglasses to look even better...