certified sleepyhead

delulu

[crabussy]

extremely fond of and perplexed by this website

[twinkhole-destroyer]

someone is putting up pictures of me around town and they all say I’m ‘wanted’. which is nice

[zedogica]

ok. i survived 25 years outside the international space station. who gives a shit

[biglawbear]

Technically most moss is outside the international space station

[davvvd]

[darklyfoggyspore-deactivated202]

guh wall

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

oh my god just saw two pirate ships get into a fender bender right outside my apartment

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

two dudes with hook hands and trifold hats are currently out there yelling about who had right of way

[gaycop]

peg legs?

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

no, they don't have peg legs. god, that's such an offensive stereotype. learn some shit about pirates instead of making yourself look ignorant on my post

[gaycop]

…eyepatches?

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

of course they had eyepatches what are you stupid

[perkyshelley]

chose a hill but i won't die on it. feel free to come and be killed on my hill

[kittensnax]

I’m a busy man. Got two caution signs to remind me to slow down sometimes. Got a vibrating megaphone. Clocks. Radiation. Four goats. Got half a tank of simple columnar epithelial tissue. 60% through my day. Half a tank of gas. And it’s only 10:50.

[ageae]

[lakevida]

ok well if i can be vulnerable with you for a moment theres a hole in the floor at work and i dont know if it drains to anywhere but i do know ive been pouring old coffee down it for about three weeks now

[lakevida]

a coworker saw me do it today and her expression was unreadable

[zmpl]

i will replace chatgpt

[zmpl]

two pieces of bread and in between theres a bunch of bullshit

[offshoreoilrig]

Rattling the bars of my cage but you can tell my heart's not in it and I try to discreetly look down check my phone several times

[deathwarlock]

i think jts unfair that only employees get to wash their hands

[throathole]

I need to go rub one out. *goes to my secret chamber where the walls are covered in tally marks and I erase one mark* *it is unclear what happens when they run out*

[machinot]

check out my new debit card

[dwinkus]

peasant visionary: & then it stood before me, a towering wheel of flame that beheld me with 10,000 shimmering eyes!

me: idk man it still sounds like an ocular migraine

peasant visionary: #MyGrain

[meimetchi-deactivated20251007]

gooodbyee 200 dollars helloo piece of pleastic

[firefox-official]

DO NOT sleep during the day. Youll be like What the hell later

[firefox-official]

oh man i say that but then i lay down all cozy …

[firefox-official]

What the hell