The older I get, I understand why they say who you’re surrounded by is a reflection of you. And low vibrational people love to herd to the most insecure – who else can meet their communal need for validation? It’s like a chess game, but everyone is just a pawn.
Accountability is one of my greatest friends these days. As I grow and learn and become receptive to the universe being in control, I forgive myself for mistakes and the excuses I made, accepting less lately and putting my needs second. I allowed people who don’t live for or love themselves to come and go freely in my space with no regard for me. I bit my tongue to two too many and I allowed a lot of disturbing cycles from my childhood to re-emerge. After losing so many last year, I just wanted to be loved in ways that didn’t require romance for security, companionship and transparency. I had a low bar, but I am learning and healing my environment and the role I play.
Life is not a competition. Life is not about control or the lack of it. There is no meter for who is good or bad. Life doesn’t reward you for the inability to move forward. Life is not attachment just to not be alone or meet new people. Life is not sweeping things under the carpet. Life cannot have logic without emotion. Life is love, and both only promise beginnings and endings.
Every day I am reminded I am love, just as much as I am abundance. Everyone has the choice to be. Those who have never been either can’t hide how intimidated and threatened they are by that. It sounds mean when my girls and I call people fans, but what else is comparable to that energy sucking way of living?
For too long, I made myself meek for fragile egos and watched one red flag after the next, but I find peace and security in finally honoring my predestined role as the prize and not a pawn – sorry but this sad game is not one I play. The bare minimum is only comfortable to those who are stagnant and afraid to experience – but life is grander than just success or failure.
Just like love, life is unconditional. We can shift it, expand it, retract it, put boundaries around it, just make it a memory, create foundations, pursue it, or really just pour more of it into ourselves, but we can never control it. We just define how and where we value it. It’s sad most don’t have the courage to value either, but I’m learning to identify those who move in fear and those who move in light.
All year I’ve registered I was always unnecessarily the problem and been learning to shift how I deal with those I have nothing to offer. A cruel lesson I didn’t need, but now I appreciate it.
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