ugly wannabe goth bitch

Laila Mcqueen. Crossbreed between a Cute Stripper and a Punk-Rock Girl. Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Tesse's divorced love child that was kidnapped and raised by Beetle Juice. #Dehydrated #ChodeQueen #FatAss #Ok #Cool

[memesandthings]

TEXT MESSAGE STARTERS ! Send one of the prompts below to get a response from my muse.

drunk texts:

( ✉ → sms ) plea se eh elep me im drunk and i dotn know whe re i am

( ✉ → sms ) i fukcing miss yo u

( ✉ → sms ) i look so fuckigjn GOOD

( ✉ → sms ) i csnst stop throwiging up

( ✉ → sms ) fu ck you  for hurting me

( ✉ → sms ) why dotn you ever call me anymore huh

( ✉ → sms ) stop being so fuckigjn borign and coekm to my party

( ✉ → sms ) i dropped my pzziza o nt eh floror im fuckgin pissed

( ✉ → sms ) i j sut left you a 3 mintue long voicemail singing. sorry

( ✉ → sms ) even when i’m durnk ic ant sotp thinking about oyu

hateful texts:

( ✉ → sms ) you’re pathetic

( ✉ → sms ) you make me miserable

( ✉ → sms ) fuck you. delete my number.

( ✉ → sms ) you never meant anything to me, anyway.

( ✉ → sms ) fuck your apologies, you can keep them.

( ✉ → sms ) congrats on always ruining everything

( ✉ → sms ) my life would be so much easier without you.

( ✉ → sms ) and next time you feel like calling me… don’t.

( ✉ → sms ) i don’t want anything to do with you anymore.

( ✉ → sms ) if your goal was to make me hate you, then congratulations. mission accomplished.

misc/random texts:

( ✉ → sms ) i think my neighbor is an alien.

( ✉ → sms ) help me think of a name for my new dog

( ✉ → sms ) sooooo… what was your first impression of me

( ✉ → sms ) should i get pizza or chicken wings for dinner?

( ✉ → sms ) no one’s ever made me feel the way you do.

( ✉ → sms ) i borrowed your weed. hope you don’t mind.

( ✉ → sms ) why do they say drugs are bad when they make you feel so good

( ✉ → sms ) today is the oldest you’ve ever been, but the youngest you’ll ever be again…

( ✉ → sms ) [ File Attached: 001329.jpg ] of all the drunk pictures i have of you, this one is my favorite.

( ✉ → sms ) i used your pics to catfish someone, and since they bought me a laptop… you have a date with them tomorrow.

[willraisehells-deactivated20200]

[text]: fuck off!!

[text]: No, admit you had a sex dream with me last night and then I’ll fuck off.

[willraisehells-deactivated20200]

Bob couldn’t help himself when he burst out laughing, shaking his head at the other, “I may have to carry you anyway because of the ten blocks we need to walk to get on the right subway line to get to the donut shop I had in mind.  Do you think you can make it, Nugget?” The queen questioned, quirking a brow at the other.

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

“I’m gonna go with ‘no’ just because I’m itching to see you carry me, though I’m sure the people of New York won’t be as eager for that spectacle,” Laila reckoned, laughing it up with Bob as they exited the hotel. “Then again, you can assure anybody who stares too long that you’re ‘just taking out the trash!’”

[willraisehells-deactivated20200]

[text]: fuck off!!

[text]: No, admit you had a sex dream with me last night and then I’ll fuck off.

[willraisehells-deactivated20200]

[text]: And you didn’t text me halfway through?  I’m surprised. [text]: I’ll be there in a minute.

With that, Bob stepped out of the elevator and walked over to the purple haired goth in the lobby, “Do you have a MetroCard on you or are we walking all the way downtown?” Bob questioned as he eyed his season eight sister.

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

“I have a metro card,” Laila announced with a snort as if the answer was wildly obvious. “I may not be a rich bitch since I just lost 100,000 dollars recently but there’s no way I could walk all the way down town, you’d have to roll me.”

[willraisehells-deactivated20200]

[text]: fuck off!!

[text]: No, admit you had a sex dream with me last night and then I’ll fuck off.

[willraisehells-deactivated20200]

[text]: You know, I thought it was the kale. [text]: Meet me in the lobby and we’ll head out.

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

[text]: I’m actually already in the lobby? I’m trying to avoid the room service guy I let plow me two nights ago. M E S S and not the good kind. 

[willraisehells-deactivated20200]

[text]: fuck off!!

[text]: No, admit you had a sex dream with me last night and then I’ll fuck off.

[willraisehells-deactivated20200]

[text]: You have a point. [text]: Want to go grab some donuts?

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

[text]: Have you seen me before Bobert? Do I look like the type that would ever not want to grab some donuts?  [text]: She isn’t thicc from cross-fit and kale smoothies that’s for damn sure. 

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

[text] Ps thx for the porn on my phone.

[text]: No problem, I drew it myself. 

[chapsticknmascara]

[text]: Have you considered a career change?

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

[text]: I know I was the flop of my season but I don’t deserve this type of slander. 

[willraisehells-deactivated20200]

[text]: fuck off!!

[text]: No, admit you had a sex dream with me last night and then I’ll fuck off.

[willraisehells-deactivated20200]

[text]: Because I think there was something in the food because a lot of people have been talking about having sex dreams and weird dreams.

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

[text]: Or we’re all just ridiculously horny? 

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

[text] Ps thx for the porn on my phone.

[text]: No problem, I drew it myself. 

[willraisehells-deactivated20200]

[text]: fuck off!!

[text]: No, admit you had a sex dream with me last night and then I’ll fuck off.

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

[text]: 🎶 I was a hoe, and I'm admitting it...I won't take it back because I did this shit 🎶 [text]: But I still don't won't give you the nitty gritty b/c duh. Why are you itching to know so bad anyways sis?

[ancnymous]

texts from last night meme

[text] yeah but my nose is so stuffed, if I tried to give him head, i’d suffocate.

[text] hahaha figures. should i spank you? or throw a cow at you?

[text] I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face!

[text] And Mexicans. My burrito likes you.

[text] 3 deer just ran past us. At least I get to see some tail tonight.

[text] Fuck u. You updated twitter and didn’t answer my text. I know you’re alive.

[text] I heard we made out.

[text] I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt.

[text] ah I can’t wait till there’s negative 2 inches between us.

[text] Ps thx for the porn on my phone.

[text] I just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket.

[text] I’m so bored and have no one to sexy text.

[text] Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward.

[text] Why are you such a perv today?

[text] Don’t quote me on that. I’m a walking boner

[text] In the future, we’ll all be gay

[text] I keep trying to leave, but for some reason, I’m staying

[text] Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him, cause he was convinced he could block it.

[text] oh my god. I didn’t know your sister was this good at french kissing.

[text] Sorry, I can’t talk. There’s a heard of nepotisms headed my way.

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

[text]: Are you even shorter now?

[text]: Are you even more likely “to get away with murder” now? 

[willraisehells-deactivated20200]

When Laila approached her Bob had half a mind to fake the other out, but the queen couldn’t help herself when she burst out laughing because of Laila’s comments, “I thought you’d be five inches shorter and a bit chubbier, but you look cute and like yourself.  As for me, I actually look dainty.” The queen shrugged and she smoothed out her makeshift skirt, “I’m going to actually need to go shopping for some clothing because of this, nugget.”

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

“Right?” Laila chimed, sniggering at Bob’s shady comments even if they were at her own expense. “I have a neck now! It’s a miracle. I can actually wear those chokers you get at Forever 21 and not have to disguise dollar collars as necklaces. Hashtag No Neck Problems.” Eyeing up and down Bob’s new physique, the punk rock babe laughed harder in agreement. “We should go shopping then! I need to buy more things to put this rack on display.”

[rosebysin-deactivated20220819]

“None of us even look the least bit enticing to you?”

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

“I never said that. Tell you what - saddle into a strap-on and then we’ll talk.” 

[seeksstars-deactivated20220819]

You know I am.  So, what are your plans while you’re stuck like this?  Did you try finding your g-spot yet?

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

I think I’ll try to get someone else to find it for me. Don’t know if I’m equipped to explore a vagina yet. I love my boobs though - I’ve played with those like you wouldn’t believe. 

[seeksstars-deactivated20220819]

Does this mean I need to make a Tinder?

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

Only if you freaky, which I know you are.

[rosebysin-deactivated20220819]

“Can nothing make you a lesbian?”

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

“Apparently not. Cue my army of lesbian groupies crying as all their wet dreams are dashed.” 

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

[text]: Are you even shorter now?

[text]: Are you even more likely “to get away with murder” now? 

[willraisehells-deactivated20200]

[text]: I’m in the dining area drinking coffee, I’ll order you a cup. [text]: You’re welcome for the guilt.

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

Shamelessly curious about what Bob looked like transformed, Laila cozied down to the dining hall and scanned the mostly vacant room for the only black person probably on sight. When she finally uncovered whom she figured to be Bob’s official female vessel, she approached her with a smirk. “I honestly thought you were still gonna look like an NFL superstar playing dress up but to be fair, you probably thought I’d still look like a thumb in a wig…didn’t you? Didn’t you?”

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

[text]: Are you even shorter now?

[text]: Are you even more likely “to get away with murder” now? 

[willraisehells-deactivated20200]

[text]: I’m still black so it doesn’t lower the risk by a whole lot, but if you’re asking if I look like Viola Davis, why don’t you come see for yourself?

[halfbakedbeetlejuice-blog]

[text]: ...Damn, way to hit me with that white guilt. [text]: Where are you?