I doubt Ill ever write this as a fic so
Some key notes for Ivan's characterisation as an angel
Since he doesn't remember his life, he is unburdened by trauma
He knows he isn't human, and therefore doesn't feel as intense shame over not fitting in as a human and not understanding humans. He finds them interesting
He *is* slightly embarrassed over his lack of understanding of himself and his emotions though
Till allows his affection freely, so he gives it freely. He's very clingy
He doesn't talk a lot about himself, but not out of dishonestly. He just doesn't have a lot to say. When he does figure out how to word his feelings, he's pretty honest with Till. Till always rewards honesty with affection
He would be horrified to learn that Till knows him better than he lets on, because while he knows that he doesn't need to feel ashamed of not being human-like, he doesn't know how to describe himself either, and fails to categorise himself as better or worse than humans in that regard. Inside his own head, he views himself as superior, but the idea of someone being allowed to peer in there and form their own opinion on him is still scary
Lowkey thinking of making him eerily sing to comfort himself sometimes
Kind of a guilty masochist. His arousal is dimmed by being an angel, which means pain helps amplify it, but he doesn't want anyone to see him in that state so he would never actually consent to it
The "gaining Ivan's forgiveness" thing is entirely self imposed. It comes from his regrets from when he was alive
He prefers to watch Ivan while Ivan isn't aware, because he feels guilty for having never gotten to know Ivan outside of their friendship. He wants to know what kind of person Ivan is when unaffected by him
Before he kidnapped Ivan, he really liked it when the angel would wrap his wing around him. It made him feel protected.
His physical form is from age 21, at the culmination of his regret, even though he lived to see 30
Ivan's carefree attitude as an angel and how kind he is just confirms all the delusions he had in his mind. If it hadn't been for him, Ivan would have been happy. Ivan was a good person. Ivan was a kind person. During his time alive, while trying to forgive Ivan, Till has overshot that forgiveness and come to the conclusion that Ivan was never needlessly cruel, Till had simply deserved that cruelty out of his ignorance for the boy's affection.
Demon cum...................... gross, painful, black goop
When he first kidnaped Ivan, he was obsessed with pleasing him, so a lot of blowjobs and rimming took place. When Ivan wasn't too receptive to it, he got frustrated. The sexual boundary had already been broken, so he simply kept trying new things until he found what Ivan enjoyed
After kidnapping, Till is very vocal about his romantic attraction towards Ivan. He says it whenever he gets the chance
