S♡

A wannabe writer (?) who's a sucker for romance and writes cliches✨ Replies/follows from @haloxmendes.

[keenunknownpoetry]

Mirror Images: Chapter Two (Rippling Waters)

Nandhini smirked when Kundavai entered the scene, hovering by Vanathi’s shoulder protectively.

“Ilaya Piratti. What brings you to Kadambur?”

“Muthavar ingai varugiraan endru sonaar. En annanukaaga naanum vandhen (The older one said that he was coming here. I came here for him).” Kundavai replied. “What were you doing, talking to Vanathi?”

“Simply exchanging our thoughts. You have trained her well. She is nearly as skilled as you with her words. One of the few traits we have in common.”

“The difference being that the phrases that leave my lips only ever contain the truth.” Kundavai replied smoothly.

“Any lie is a truth as long as the person uttering it believes it to be so.”

“You have not changed one bit.” Kundavai said, unable to hide the contempt she felt.

Nandhini tilted her head to the side. “There’s an example of a lie you believe to be true.”

Out of the corners of their eyes, both women spotted the entry of the Chozha princes, Vanthiyathevan, and Pazhuvettarayar. Arulmozhi stepped forward to stand closer to his sister, positioning himself between her and Vanathi. Vanathi pointedly ignored his presence, staring straight ahead at Nandhini, whose eyes had found Karikalan’s.

There was no mistaking the pain and anger in both their eyes, the result of promises that had not been kept with the passing of time and hurt that had festered into hate the longer they stayed apart. Vanathi felt as though she were staring into the surface of a lake, with its rippling waters showing Nandhini staring back at her. In its distorted image, she saw what she could be in another world, if the years had been even crueler to her and the people not quite as kind.

Still, she could not stop a hint of jealousy from sprouting in her stomach as she realized Nandhini had something she never would. The returned affections of a man who could never be hers. In Karikalan’s eyes, there was a softness and sanity that Vanathi had never once seen when she had crossed paths with the prince. It was as if Nandhini’s presence kept him grounded and stopped him from surrendering to the insanity that threatened to overtake his mind.

Not once had Arulmozhi ever looked at her in such a way. He had never gazed into her eyes as though she had taken all the stars and trapped them in her pupils. Never stared at her as if his life was contained within her folded hands. Never let his mouth hang open in a breathless look like he’d give up everything just for one fleeting touch from her fingers.

At least, he had never looked at her in such a way when she was looking at him. Whatever affection Arulmozhi showed when she didn’t notice meant nothing to her. What a man could not prove to one’s face has no worth when done behind one’s back.

Hesitantly, she snuck a glance at Arulmozhi, feeling his eyes upon her. He immediately turned away.

#

Nandhini, Nandhini, Nandhini.

The repetition of her name within his mind was nothing new to him. It had been the anchor to his life from the minute she’d given him her name, shyly whispering it as though she were offering a flower to her Krishna. He had accepted just as happily as he would have any gift and treasured it more than all the gold and jewels he had ever been given.

Now, however, her name threw itself around in his chest, threatening to burst out and fly back to her, leaving him lifeless on the ground. For if he did not have Nandhini, what did he have?

His beautiful Nandhini, who had taken all the negativity of the world and reflected it back as kindness, just as the moon returned the sun’s scorching light as a cooling glow.

Chinnanjiru Nilave…  Ennaivittu Enadi Neenginaiyo (Little moon… why did you leave me)?

As always, she tore her eyes away from his first, moving to stand beside her husband. He shifted his focus to the timid Kodambalur princess to Arulmozhi’s left.

Dear gods, his brother really was oblivious. She looked at him like he’d hung the stars in the sky and she had somehow deceived herself into thinking he had done it all for her. A look that he had once seen so often on Nandhini’s face. One he had not seen in years now. Not since she had begged and sobbed over Veera Pandiyan’s life and he had left the love of his life in that blood-soaked cottage. He had already failed to look hard enough when she had been exiled, embarrassed that he had not been there for her. Yet again, he had turned his back to her, ashamed of what he had done.

I beg of you, Arulmozhi. Learn from my mistakes and don’t leave her when she needs you.

……………

What did you all think?

@willkatfanfromasia @kovaipaavai @thatacademic @rang-lo @haloxsaisha @love-ps1ff @hollogramhallucination @thelekhikawrites

[haloxsaisha]

The way you penned Aditha's pain and regret at the end was so beautiful. Also Arulmozhi being so oblivious- ahhh, I hope he realises his feelings soon and gives Vanathi the love she deserves 🥹

[keenunknownpoetry]

Mirror Images: Chapter One (Words That Were Never Said)

Where was her Akka when she needed her? Where was her Arulmozhi?

No, not her Arulmozhi. Even the dream of him ever being such was fading away. For who was she? An orphan who had riches but not parents and too weak a heart to survive in a land of snakes. Wasn't that what everyone thought of her?

"Oh, Ponniyin Selvare!" she cried, "I hoped you would mend me and heal my soul! I found a sister in yours and a husband in you! I thought you would give me the family I'd been deprived of for so long! Instead, I have allowed myself to be ruined further by the shadow of a promise that came from everyone's lips but your own. No more. Do not hear my pleas or confessions, Lord! For they are not for your ears any longer, but for my heart alone."

#

The Ilaya Raani of Pazhavur could have sworn she heard crying down the hallway from the chambers of the Kodambalur Ilavarasi again. What was her name? Vanathi?

Her name left a bitter taste in Nandhini's mouth. It was no secret how the young girl felt about Arulmozhi Varman. Everyone who met her could see it. It reminded Nandhini a bit of herself at that age, bright-eyed and smitten with one of the sons of Sundara Chozhan. But unlike Nandhini, all the odds were in Vanathi's favour. The elders encouraged it to her face rather than whisper about it behind her back. Sembiyan Madeviyar smiled at the prospect instead of donning a frown. Most of all, that meddlesome Kundavai approved of it - pushed for it even. Not like Nandhini, whose affections had been doomed before they'd even been born.

She raised a hand to knock on the door. Vanathi opened it, eyes puffy and red. Her mouth was kept in a hard set, though it did little to hide the fact that she had been crying. For a moment, just a single one, the silver-tongued Queen of Pazhavur was left speechless. Nandhini was taken back to the day she and her family had been exiled and she’d been forced to act like her heart did not scream and tear itself apart. She was taken back to the day Karikalan, who had once claimed to love her, severed the head of Veerapandiyan from his body and she had to remain strong for Amurabujangan and lead the Pandiyas to victory on their path for revenge.

“I bow down before the illustrious Kodambalur Ilavarasi, favoured by the Ilaya Piratti, and the future Queen of Arulmozhi Varman’s heart.”

“Do not address me as such.” Vanathi said, eyes flashing in anger. “Ponniyin Selvan does not want me. He would rather marry Samudra Kumari than even dream of marrying me.”

Nandhini felt a smirk tug at the corners of her mouth. So the younger tiger was no different from the older one, was he? Same as Karikalan, he too did not mcare enough for a woman who would have given her life for him.

“I know what that’s like.” Nandhini said, stepping into the room.

A gentle breeze wafted through the room and the room glowed with a soft light. So pure and innocent, much like Vanathi herself. Unfortunately, the world was cruel and had no tolerance for people like the pride of the Velaar Clan and the orphaned girl who grew up in a temple.

“You-you do?” Vanathi asked, unable to hide the shock in her voice.

“I too had dreams, Vanathi. Dreams of rising above what I was born with and being seen as more than just a girl who could not stand on her own two feet. Dreams that had been planted by a man whose words were just as false as the love he showered with his eyes.”

Even now, if Nandhini closed her eyes, she could envision his reassuring smile, the one he gave her whenever people gossipped about seeing them together. She could still feel his hands, gentle but firm on her waist, as he paraded her around on his horse, supposedly proud of loving her.

“They will see reason, Nandhini. Soon, they will see you just as I do.”

Lies. All of it.

“You and I… we’re not that different, Vanathi.”

"I'm not you." Vanathi insisted.

Nandhini's voice was soft with her next sentence, not honeyed as it had been before. For a moment, Vanathi saw a crack in her self-confident mask: a hint of fear and sadness in her eyes, a trained firmness in her stance, and reluctant bravery in the way she held herself. All signs she recognized. All signs she saw in the mirror.

"That's where you're wrong, Vanathi Devi. You are my reflection just as much as I am yours."

#

“You did what?” Kundavai demanded.

“I said I saw the Kodambalur Ilavarasi earlier, what more do you want from me?”

“And you didn’t acknowledge her?!”

“What is there to acknowledge?!”

Karikalan watched with mild amusement as his younger siblings argued with each other. Kundavai was exasperated and Arulmozhi remained oblivious as ever. Vanthiyathevan looked too afraid to involve himself in the conversation.

Kundavai massaged her temples.

“Let me get this straight. You placed her upon the royal elephant-”

“Yes.”

“Escorted her to Thanjai-”

“I still don’t see how-”

“Watched her give up the throne of the Chozhas-”

Karikalan raised an eyebrow at that one. She gave up her right to the throne? Perhaps Vanathi was stronger than he’d given her credit for.

He was starting to get why Kundavai dragged Arulmozhi all the way to Kadambur to complain to him.

“And you said nothing?!”

“There was nothing to say, Akka! Vanathi made a choice, what was I to do?”

“Appreciate her.” Karikalan found himself saying before he could stop himself, “It’s no easy feat for a princess to relinquish that which should be hers.”

Arulmozhi groaned. “Whatever the reason, I didn’t ask her to do it! Can’t you just tell Kundavai Akka to not involve herself in my love life, Anna?”

“Hm, I don’t know, can I? Kundavai has a habit of intruding in other people’s private lives.”

Kundavai rounded on Karikalan, a few strands of hair escaping her braid and brushing her neck.

“Do you have to bring Nandhini into every conversation?!”

“I don’t know, do I, Kundavai? You tell me, since you seem so determined to control every aspect of my life. Or would you rather I ask Sembiyan Paati what to do?”

“Vanthiyathevan!” she cried.

“Yes, Ilavarasi?”

“Tell both my brothers that they’re idiots and don’t deserve my affection or help.”

Vanthiyathevan gulped nervously, eyes darting between the three of them. Karikalan lounged lazily in his chair, eyes twinkling with pride and his usual hint of longing and anger. Kundavai was furious, arms crossed over her chest and back turned to the other two. Arulmozhi looked tired and confused, leading Vanthiyathevan to believe this was not the first time a conversation like this had occurred. Alwarkaddiyan had warned him that the three of them in the same room was nothing short of explosive, but he had not really believed him until now.

Thankfully, he was saved from having to answer by the entrance of Periya Pazhuvettarayar. He rolled his eyes when he saw the siblings in irritated silence.

“We do not have time for your petty fights, children. Aditha, your presence is requested by the sitrarasargal (territorial kings).”

“Why, so that you may all conspire against me to my face?” he asked, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Tell me one thing, is your beautiful wife going to be there?”

To say the other men in the room were shocked would be underestimating the magnitude of their feelings. It surprised them to see just how shameless he was being, openly bitter towards his grandfather. Kundavai, on the other hand, knew that Karikalan just didn’t care enough to bother hiding his attraction any longer.

“No.” Pazhuvettarayar replied through gritted teeth. “I have not seen her since morning.”

“Letting your own wife out of your sight? How irresponsible, Thatha (grandfather). If you do not even know her whereabouts, how can you ever hope to know her heart?”

The face of the King of Pazhavur was turning red now, taken aback by his grandson’s blatant disrespect.

“Last I checked, she was in the east wing, for what reason I do not know.”

“East wing?” Kundavai asked. “But that’s where Vanathi is! We must go there at once!”

Fear flashed across Arulmozhi’s face and Karikalan sighed at the terrified expressions of his siblings.

“Well then, Thatha, looks like I may have the privilege of seeing your wife today after all.”

If Pazhuvettarayar was angry before, he was livid now.

"Aditha!" he roared, "What has gotten into you?!"

"What has gotten into me? You're the one who married a woman generations younger than you! When you first held me in your arms, she would not have even been born yet!"

Arulmozhi was barely listening to his brother and grandfather argue, frozen at the thought of Vanathi and Nandhini in the same room. His poor, sweet Vanathi. His innocent Vanathi who would snap like a twig underneath Nandhini's unforgiving demeanour. His- wait, since when was Vanathi his?

Kundavai must have sensed the reason behind his panic as she fixed him with a glare. "She is not as fragile as you think, Arulmozhi. She is more of a flame, only the sea could swallow her up. Not someone like Nandhini."

"You underestimate my Nandhini." Karikalan shot back, not caring of the use of the possessive article in front of his grandfather, "She is like the gentlest of breezes and fiercest of storms."

"I would never make the mistake of underestimating the Ilaya Raani of Pazhavur." She inclined her head sharply in Pazhuvettarayar's direction. "Nor do I disagree with you, but that is exactly what scares me. Strong winds often serve to fuel fire. Rarely do they extinguish it.”

“Nandhini is not like that.” Pazhuvettarayar protested, “She’d never hurt anyone.”

Karikalan threw his head back and laughed: a pained, cruel thing that made the others around him wince at the sound of it.

“Is that what she told you? Let me assure you, Thatha, she is very capable of twisting someone’s heart.”

“Let’s think about this with level heads, why don’t we?” Vanthiyathevan suggested. No one heard him.

“She’s going to ruin her.” Arulmozhi moaned.

“You ruined her.” Kundavai spat, grabbing the King of Vallam’s hand with her own. “But Vanthiyathevan is right. We can not waste any more time discussing this. We must visit Vanathi.”

Pazhuvettarayar zoned in on their intertwined hands, glancing between the two. Karikalan didn’t seem perturbed, rather proud of himself, as though he had set them up. Arulmozhi was smirking as well, though his eyes were still veiled with worry for Vanathi.

Between Karikalan’s comments about his wife, Arulmozhi’s excessive care for Vanathi, and Kundavai’s apparent relationship with Vallavarayan Vanthiyathevan, Pazhuvettarayar had a feeling there was a lot he was missing.

#

“Tell me, Vanathi Devi, does Arulmozhi Varman appreciate you?”

“I am sure he does.”

“Does he ever show it?” Vanathi winced at her sharp words. Nandhini continued regardless. “He walked with you on his left, yet he will not marry you. He always seeks your presence and sneaks glances at you but continues to choose everything else over the love you so freely give him. You gave up your one birth right for him, and he turned you away.”

Vanathi could hear the way Nandhini was choking back her sobs. A spark of courage ignited in her.

“Are you talking about me or yourself?” she demanded. “You called me your mirror- Tell me, Nandhini Devi, when you look into my eyes and speak… are you trying to convince me or you?”

Nadhini’s hands, proudly clasped together in front of her chest, faltered and fell to her sides. Her shoulders caved in ever so slightly.

“My heart is breaking, yes, but yours is shattered. What's left in your chest is a mere fragment of it. So tell me. Who collected the rest?"

The door creaked open but neither of the two women paid it any attention.

"Broken?"

#

Arulmozhi breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw that Vanathi was quite alright. Then immediately panicked again when he saw Nandhini approach her, a maniacal look in her eyes.

"Broken?" she cackled, "My heart was not broken, dear Velaar Kula Vilakku (lamp of the Velaar Clan), it was stolen from me. Much like yours was."

"My heart was not stolen, I gave it away." she paused and frowned, "Even if I will never get it back."

Arulmozhi's heart felt heavy. Vanathi had lost her heart to a man? Who was it? Someone he knew?

"You can never trust the close ones of Karikalan." Nandhini drawled. "They care for none but themselves."

Karikalan clenched his fist, growling under his breath. The gears in Arulmozhi’s head are turning, trying to piece it together. A close one of Anna? Was it Vanthiyathevan? No, Vanathi would never dream of looking at a man that Kundavai loved. Parthibendran then?

Oh Shiva, please don't let it be the Pallava King.

"Well, it is no surprise then why you are selfish."

Kundavai snickered at Vanathi's retort, putting a hand up to her mouth to stifle it.

"I am not close to-"

"You married Periya Pazhuvettarayar, did you not? Does that not make you his grandmother in a way?" Vanathi taunted, "At least I'm not the Paati (grandmother) of my love."

Karikalan groaned, equal parts impressed with Vanathi, and annoyed that she brought it up.

"I'm sorry, who are you to him again?" she shot back. A look of regret passed across her features when Vanathi's face contorted into one of despair.

"Maybe we should intervene." Arulmozhi murmured, hating to see Vanathi be treated as such.

"I agree. Poor Nandhini." Karikalan agreed.

Arulmozhi raised an eyebrow at him. Nandhini was not part of the equation in his mind. Vanthiyathevan gripped both their shoulders and leaned forward.

"Can we talk about which of your lovers deserves more sympathy at a later time?" he said, ignoring Pazhuvettarayar's insistent denial at the implication that Nandhini was Karikalan's and not his.

Kundavai had entered the room before either of them had a chance to reply. Arulmozhi and Karikalan exchanged looks again, the same thought running through their minds.

Kundavai and Nandhini in the same room could burn down the Chozha empire.

No one wanted to think about what would happen if righteous and stubborn Vanathi were added to the mix.

............

First chapter, how was it? Featuring an oblivious AMV and shameless AK (because we all saw him staring at Nandhini despite her husband being RIGHT THERE at Kadambur).

This story is an AU, as in what would happen if the siblings were in Kadambur at the same time as well.

@thatacademic @thelekhikawrites @rang-lo @hollogramhallucination tag any others as well?

[haloxsaisha]

I loved this piece so much! Aditha being down bad as usual and the sibling dynamic between the three Cholas is so choatic😭 plus I loved Vanathi's answers to Nandini, it's beautiful to see that you've highlighted how strong she is on the inside <33

[masalateaaa]

Fate in Fast Lane - A Night in New York City

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Female!Reader

Summary: Two strangers and one magical night in New York. But is there anything more in store for them?

Warning: Brief mentions of death and loss.

A/n: Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated. I love them.

Masterlist

--❤️--

You are taking a late-night subway home from work. Today has been especially tiring, all you wanted to do was to go home and crash on your bed. Yet here you are standing alone on the platform well beyond your scheduled time because one of the subordinates messed up figures and you had to redo the reports. Finally ending the agonizing wait, the train finally arrived. You hopped on quickly and grabbed the seat near the door closing your eyes for a few moments as finally, the long night ended. You opened your eyes to realize that the train was practically empty & you got scared that you are all alone on the train. You frantically looked everywhere to find a shady-looking guy sitting at the other end of the door. He took a sip from his cheap flask, most probably whisky, and gave you a dirty smile with his crooked teeth. You felt your palms sweating and your heartbeat increasing. You turned your head after giving him what you felt like a stern look, not that he’d be scared but you tried.

Your eyes again began to look for a decent soul to get some strength & then you see a stranger sitting in a corner minding his own damn business oblivious to the world. You heaved a sigh of relief but your relief was short-lived to realize footsteps approaching you. You saw the crook approaching you from your peripheral vision. Without thinking anything else, you got up from your seat and moved towards the stranger who was still looking at his phone, “Hey.” You tried to sound excited but the trembling in your voice was very much visible.

Charles was in New York for a quick getaway with a few other drivers after Montreal GP. They had all gone out clubbing earlier in the evening but some time later, Charles felt suffocated. The familiar sounds and smells of the club didn’t give him the peace he was looking for so he decided to step out and walk. He felt funny walking aimlessly but at the same time felt calm too. The fresh air, the crowd walking all around him, some with purpose and some aimless just like him. His mind was turned off the thoughts about the competition as he focussed on being lost in the crowd. He wasn’t used to this and he liked it. He decided to buy some food at a local deli and took a subway after checking the route for central park. The thought of him taking a subway made him chuckle as the guy has never driven anything other than fast cars and jets. The train was practically empty so he decided to sit on a corner seat with his food and jacket resting next to him. He was busy checking out what he could do more at this hour of the night in the city that never sleeps. His concentration was broken by a shaky voice that forced him to look up from his phone. Initially, he gave you a puzzled and vexed look but your pleading teary eyes and the creep behind you gave him all the answers needed.

“Heyyyy...” he dragged the ‘y’ not knowing your name and by this time you reached near him and whispered your name, “y/n.” “Y/n, I almost thought you missed the train,” without letting you speak anything else; he pulled you and shielded you behind him. You gripped his tee shirt hiding behind this stranger’s back, feeling safe. You closed your eyes and let his smell of musk and wild cedar take over your senses.

“Do you want anything?” Charles’ authoritarian voice boomed across as he pushed you further back and stood covering you. The creep smiled in fear as Charles’ intimidating voice scared him. And before he could say anything, the train pulled up at a station. Charles didn’t wait for his reply as he laced his fingers with yours and walked you out of the train, it was neither your station nor his but getting out of there was the best decision you both made that night.

As you were running through the virtually empty subway station, you couldn’t help but wonder who this handsome stranger was. You looked at your entwined hands as he leads you out of the station and onto the street, and that moment felt surreal.

“Wow, that was amazing,” Charles huffed as he laughed at the great escape he just pulled off. You couldn’t reply to anything because at that moment words seemed to betray you. His hand was still holding yours, his fingers still laced with yours and all you could feel was your accelerated heartbeat and strange twisting of your stomach - maybe that’s what is to have butterflies in your stomach.

“And here I thought this night would be boring,” you whispered as you looked around to see vehicles cruising on the road but not many pedestrians on the sidewalk. You cringed at your thought because it was past 1 am and who would want to roam on the streets instead of sleeping? “Oh fuck,” Charles cursed as he finished putting on his jacket. You raised your eyebrows asking, what? “Well, I forgot food and my jacket on the train,” he rued. “I am sorry that because of me you..,” but before you could say anything further, Charles put a finger on your mouth and said, “Shhh!”

Your eyes went wide as you looked between his face and his finger on your lips. Feeling the awkwardness creeping he removed his finger and rubbed the nape of his neck trying to form words to explain his actions. At that moment he didn’t feel like the world’s fastest F1 driver but he looked like a teenager who was embarrassed in front of his crush.

Finally, clearing his throat after a few moments Charles spoke, “What I wanted to tell you is it’s okay. It was just food. I hope someone in need finds it and enjoys a good meal.” You couldn’t help but admire the selflessness that was reflected in his words. You, however, were ready to argue but his stomach grumbled and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Do you like hot dogs?” You asked leading the way and he shook his head. “Well, it’s time to change that,” you smiled as you both walked on the sidewalk that was pretty empty by now.  Now and then your bodies would touch, sending a jolt down your spine and it didn’t help that you knew that Charles has his gaze fixed on you the entire time. Every time your eyes met; a ghost of a smile touched your lips as you couldn’t help but wonder who is this beautiful man with a thick French accent walking next to you. He saved you tonight and now you both are all set to share a meal.

“I never asked your name,” you slapped your forehead as you both waited by the food truck to pick up your order. “I am so stupid,” you muttered which made Charles chuckle.

“It’s Charles.”

“Hi, Charles. I am y/n,” you extended your hand for a handshake.

“Nice to meet you, Y/n,” Charles shook your hand as both kept looking into each other’s eyes while your hands were glued together. Your moment of zen was broken by the server calling to take your food.

15 minutes later, you both sat on a bench at the corner of the near-empty street overlooking the shining lights of the city reflecting beautifully in the water body that separated you two and the city skyline.

You looked at the food spread between the two of you, burgers, tacos, hotdogs, donuts, and some juice packs - this was meant for more than two people. “Is this for two of us?’ You asked him as by now the nerves have settled down and it didn’t feel like you are talking to Charles, a stranger but Charles, your long-lost friend. “Of course!” he replied like it was the most obvious thing, “now dig in before it gets cold. I’m going to pig out on unhealthy food tonight,” he picked up a burger and started eating and you couldn’t help but notice that this night was far from over.

Both of you finished the dinner in silence, a comfortable one which surprised both of you because you have met an hour back or so. Maybe the notion that it doesn’t take years for someone to vibe with you is true after all. All this time you felt this was a mis-selling by those authors of those romantic films, but now you felt they weren’t wrong. 

Sometimes you spend a lifetime with someone and still feel like two strangers and sometimes all it takes is a moment for a stranger to become something, different and more, and this was one such moment. It was all fated that two strangers, two different universes collided, crossed paths, and became more than strangers. But this is how far fate goes, what they do from here on is solely dependent on these two people, will this night transpire into something magical, or will this be the end where this night is a mere memory that they would remember every time they see the moon?

“Isn’t this beautiful?” Charles asked as he looked at the city skyline twinkling in the water. “Yes, it is,” you replied agreeing with him with a gentle smile that was echoed by Charles. You both again fell into a comfortable silence which you decided to break because it was clear none of you wanted the night to end and leave each other’s company. 

“So, Charles tell me about yourself. You aren’t from New York I am sure,” you asked and Charles laughed at your question. His laughter, however, died when he realized you were serious. “You don’t know me?” he asked.

“Should I? Are you famous or something?”

“Well, for one I drive cars for a living but those are really fast cars and they go round in circles,” he replied cheekily with his French accent shining through the words and laughed as realization hit you.

“Are you an F1 driver?” you asked a little shocked and he nodded confirming.

“I am so sorry. I don’t follow the sport s…”

“You apologize a lot Y/n,” he gently smiled. “It’s fine if you don’t know me. It was amazing to be just a guy you met on the train and shared a meal with,” his smile brought out his dimples as you observed serenity washing over his features, especially those green eyes.

“You still didn’t tell me about yourself. Something that you don’t tell the press, your friends, or your family?” You now settled on the bench folding your legs and facing Charles.

“Something which no one knows?” He asked and you nodded yes. “And you want me to tell that to you?” you again nodded in affirmation. 

Charles stayed silent for a few moments, playing with his fingers and contemplating something. He took a deep breath and looked into your eyes before speaking, “I fear love. The one thing that I desperately want and I fear the same thing.” He took a pause again and looked at you, and you gently placed your hand on top of his hand which was resting on the bench. You gave a gentle squeeze to his hand encouraging him to go ahead. You didn’t know from where you got the strength to do that, maybe the vulnerability in his eyes forced you to do so. 

“I am scared of love. I lost little too many people in my life whom I loved very much. So, love now scares me. What if I fall in love with someone so much that my life would feel incomplete without them and then fate would play its cruel game again and I lose them?” his green eyes held immense sadness as he told you the story of losing his godfather, his father and his childhood friend in a span of a couple of years.

“I have a very wise grandma who once told me that you can’t force love. If love is meant to come into your life, it will. You can either force it or stop it from happening.  You have to experience it all and keep your heart open for that one true love. Yes, people you love can leave you but that doesn’t mean you will deprive yourself of nature’s most beautiful experiences.”

“Charles,” you squeezed his hand and looked ahead as you continued, “I know you have lost too many people and you didn’t deserve that loss. But you also have so many people who love you and who are there with you. Your mom, your brothers, and your friends, and not to mention you are yet to experience the greatest love of your life, your soulmate. The one person who will make everything in life better, and easy. The one person who will be your yellow.”

“Yellow?

“Your yellow person, the person who saved you. They are your hero, your reason for living. They make you happy beyond words can express. They are your twin flame and your soulmate. Your everything. And not to mention your fans who I am sure love you to bits.”

Charles smiled and nodded, “I guess you are right, Y/N.” And again, you both fell into a comfortable silence, him looking at the lights and you looking at him. You knew it was creepy but you couldn’t help. “You are staring,” he remarked with a smirk on his face. “Beautiful things are meant to be stared at,” you decided to be bold and he burst into fits of laughter and soon you joined him. 

“So, now it’s your turn. Tell me about you.”

“Save the questions for next time Charles,” you waved your phone at him and stood up picking up your belongings before hopping into the cab. Charles stood there speechless all the while and just as you closed the cab door, he ran up to you, “Your scarf?” he picked up the scarf that you forgot on the bench. But the cab had already pulled off the curb so you put your head out of the window and shouted, “Keep it with you until we meet again,” He said something but you couldn’t hear but you knew he heard you, his smile told you that he heard you. 

As you looked through the mirror his reflection kept getting smaller until he disappeared from your viewpoint. You so desperately wanted to tell him everything about you. So desperately wanted to jump out of that cab and run to him but you held yourself back.

You and he were worlds apart, worlds that were never supposed to meet but here you are. Tonight, was a beautiful coincidence but it was just coincidence and fate. You didn’t want to get your hopes up and your heart break so you left him your scarf with the hope that through it someday he will make his way back.

Over the next few weeks, Charles couldn't stop thinking about Y/n. He tried to track her down, but he didn't have any luck. He began to wonder if he would ever see her again but he always kept the scarf in his possession with the hope to run across you somewhere.

Months passed, and Charles found himself racing in the Monza. He landed in Milan late at night and was making his way towards their designated hotel when the car stopped at the traffic signal and there stood the girl he was looking for since that night in New York.

You have recently shifted to Milan for a big project and a huge promotion with your company. You were relaxing in a small café by the road with a hot cup of coffee after a long day and night thinking about that night in New York. You thought about that night every night.

“Funny how I keep running into you only at late night,” a familiar voice broke your trance. A voice you heard months ago and the voice that was engraved in your soul. And with that voice, a familiar scarf came into your vision making your smile stretch from ear to ear.

You imagined this scenario a million times in your head. You had practiced a million times what would you say to Charles but right now when he is standing in front of you with that dimpled smile and shiny green eyes, words betrayed you once more. All you could do was return his smile and jump into his arms.

And just like that, he pulled you into his arms turning that one-night adventure into a fairy tale and Charles realized that fate had brought them together once again.

--❤️--

[haloxsaisha]

Love thisss <33 your writing is so beautiful 🥹

[masalateaaa]

The Moment

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Female! Reader

Summary: a silly drabble of Charles realizing he's in love with you. It's an establish relationship.

A/N: No proofreading. This is the first time I am writing for Charles Leclerc please be kind.

--❤️--

The kitchen was a mess. Well, mess is an understatement. It looked like a war zone with flour everywhere on the countertop mixed with sugar and cinnamon with a sprinkle of eggshells for decoration. It seemed like a storm ravaged the kitchen land there were you standing in all your glory right in the center of the storm.

Your hands were messy with sticky dough and some of it even got into your hair too. While your tee shirt smelled of egg yolk mixed with melted butter, the huff on your face was hidden by a few flour-stricken strands of hair.

You looked like a mess at that moment but Charles felt his breath hitch in his throat when you looked at him and smiled and pouted at the same time. He felt his heart beat faster and slower, both at the same time, something he didn't think was possible until this moment.

He didn't hear the sound of TV playing, playing your favorite sitcom all over again, he didn't hear the oven beep with whatever was in there done, and he definitely didn't hear the whistle of the kettle. All that existed at that moment was you, him, and the realization that he is in love with you, irrecoverably and hopelessly.

"Next time I tell you I am baking, stop me," you let out a defeated smile taking your hands out of the disaster called the batter. Charles didn't speak instead he just smiled as he stood next to you.

He didn't need to speak at that moment. Truth be told, he couldn't speak at that moment because words would definitely fail the emotions he felt. He felt like salt melting under the rain in a puddle, his heart felt the warmth of a blanket on a cold winter morning, and he went in a haze like he smelled a dry earth after the first rain. He felt and realized what it is to be in love with someone that makes you forget your own existence. He felt joy, pain, excitement, fear, and every other emotion he didn't know he could ever feel.

He removed the dough from your hair before tucking them behind your ear. "I will never stop you," he whispered as his callous fingers lingered on your jaw.

Now it was the time for your breath to hitch and your heart to hope that maybe you are going to get the love your heart holds for him.

--❤️--

[haloxsaisha]

The way the moment is so simple yet beautiful, and the fluff oml🥹 I can't wait to read your next Charles works Sweta💗

[haloxsaisha]

Like To Be You.

Prologue.

[Charles Leclerc x Singer!OC]

Summary: Charles Leclerc and Advika Hira seemed to have it all- their dream jobs, love and support from millions around the globe and trust worthy friends. What if life gave them a chance to go back to something that had been missing in their lives?

Warnings: Angst, mentions of anxiety and pills, flashbacks to Monaco 2022, Google translated Italian, low-key a manifestation that Ferrari's strategies get better next season.

Word count: 2.3K words.

A/N: The mention of Charles' exes/his past relationships does not refer to Giada or Charlotte, I've decided to exclude his irl relationships in this fic. I hope you like the prologue and do let me know if you want to be added to the tag list <33

Italicized font: flashbacks.

Small Italicized font in brackets: translations.

November 2023.

"Thank you so much Istanbul, you guys were absolutely amazing today. I love you so much." Advika cheers in the microphone as she exits the stage, finishing another concert of her ongoing tour.

"Great show Advi." Vinaya grins at her as jogs into the backstage.

"Thanks Vini" she pants in reply to her manager, shooting her a tired smile "also, what's the results of today's GP?" she asks, referring to the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix that took place whilst the time she had her concert going on.

"Charles P1, Hamilton P2 and Verstappen P3." her manager tells with a smile and causing Advika to halt on their way to Advika's green room.

"Wait- seriously??" the curly haired girl squeals as her eyes begin to tear up " That means he won the championship, oh my god he did it."

"Yeah, I think you man will definitely need a call from you tonight." Vinaya gives her a teasing smile while she opens the door of her green room "sit and catch your breath for a while, then talk to him." she reminded her, knowing very well the singer will rush to call and congratulate her Monagasque boyfriend, who finally won his first World Championship after being a close contender to Max Verstappen.

"Of course I will. God, I'm so exhausted today." the Indian sighed, laying down on the couch in her dressing room.

Touring was probably the most stressful and tiring part of a singer's career. Taking pills before performing definitely helped in calming down her on-stage anxiety, but having to travel every three days and jump around the stage for hours to practice and perform really sucked out her energy. And that routine went on for almost a year and a half with small breaks in between but then, she had so many people who came to show their love and support, spending their money and time. How could she really complain when she had all of that?

After taking a few minutes so as to calm down from all the adrenaline and breathlessness of performing, she walked towards the vanity to take her phone to call Charles.

"Advika...hey." she heard Charles' voice from the speaker of her phone and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion because of the usual "chérie" that he called her everytime he picked up the phone. He even stopped using her full name after they became really good friends, going with 'Vika' which was very endearing because nobody called her that.

"Hello, world champion. How are you feeling right now?" she asks him with a huge grin on her face.

"It feels so surreal. I can't believe I finally did it, I'm so happy right now." he said with a relieved sigh and she could hear a lot of voices in the back which was most probably from the happy crew at the Ferrari paddock who were celebrating, which made her fiddle her outfit, bringing in a sinking feeling in her chest because she couldn't even be there to celebrate and cheer for him.

"You finally did it love, I'm so proud of you." she told him softly.

"Were you able to watch the podium atleast?" he asked her and she mentally groaned, knowing the answer would disappoint him. She hadn't been able to watch four to five races because of the time of her shows clashing with the races' or because of huge time differences and she couldn't afford to affect her sleep schedule because the travelling had her exhausted and she'd have to wake up soon for practices and sound checks too. He even asked if she could come to the paddock but that had been even harder.

She'd only been there only thrice that season because of the four day breaks she made sure to keep in every tour of hers whereas his previous girlfriends would accompany him atleast for half of his races. And they all went for the races to show their support openly whereas she always sneaked into the paddock to hide from the paparazzi because people had already begun to suspect that they were together and she wasn't comfortable with the relationship being in the public eye yet, making her wonder if she was bringing the downfall of her own relationship.

Charles never got angry with her for that, he was a really understanding and supportive boyfriend and didn't blame her because it was her job. But she knew he did feel disappointed about the fact that his own girlfriend could not watch his race, especially when he ended up on the podium that weekend. He never spoke about how he felt upset, but she could hear it in his voice everytime he assured her that it was totally understandable.

Not being able to watch the races made her quite upset because she was a huge fan of the sport and now that she had been dating the driver for almost a year, the guilt got even worse.

"Um, I couldn't. I'm so sorry Charles, the concert time clashed again." she sighed, taking a seat on the chair infront of her vanity.

"It's alright, don't worry I understand." he tried to sound totally alright with it but she could hear the disappointment in his voice. His family, his friends and his team were there to celebrate but she was the only person far from him.

"It's not alright though, this is such a huge moment in your life and career and I've missed it. Not just on the TV but I'm not even there to cheer for you and celebrate by your side." she grumbles, rubbing her temple with her right hand.

"No it's okay, I know you can't really do anything about it. You've been touring for more than a year and the schedule planning was done even before we started dating." he tried to assure her "and you'll be having many tours in the future too, it would be ridiculous to align them with the F1 schedule because it's there for most of the year."

She could only sigh in response, because he was right. Both their careers had the requirement to travel a lot and he'd been to three of her concerts too, their relationship mostly dependent on calls rather than being around each other.

"Advika." he called out her name, breaking the silence.

"Hmm?"

"I don't know if I can do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"Us. Our relationship." he said, making her heart sink.

"Charles we've been together only for eleven months, we can't give so soon" she pleaded "Your winter break starts in a week and my tour ends in a while too, we could try."

"You know there's nothing we can do, we're literally in different parts of the world for most of the year. We meet only a couple of times, our video calls were great but, they don't really fill the space. Even if we do spend the break together, we'll be back into this cycle again in a couple of months and this will happen so much times because of our jobs and you know that." he stated and she knew that he wasn't wrong.

Maybe there was nothing they could do.

"I- I don't know what to say." she said, fiddling with her outift again.

"Sarò lì tra un momento." he tells to somebody in the back, most probably a Ferrari staff member "I'm sorry, I really am. I just- don't know what else to do. I feel like there's been no progress in our relationship because we haven't met in a while you know?" (I'll be there in a moment.)

"Yeah, you're right and I'm sorry too, I really wish it was better. And it's alright, if you're needed by the team right now go and celebrate with them, it's your night." she tells him, trying to hold back her tears.

"Yeah I think I'll go, they've been waiting for me for a while. Bye."

"Good bye and congratulations on the win." she says and cuts the call, not wanting him feel guilty by breaking down.

Charles has voiced her thoughts about the relationship, she knew that he was right but his decision still hurt. None of her relationships in the past lasted for more than half a year because she had to travel frequently. She was skeptical about dating Charles initially because his schedule was more hectic that her's but he made her feel things that nobody had made her feel before, even when they were just friends. Advika Hira had it very bad for him.

May 2022.

"Hey, are you feeling alright?" Advika asked him out of concern as soon as she came to the Ferrari paddock at the end of the race.

Unlike the previous times at Monaco, Charles started the race this time with the pole position and would've even ended up on the podium, but the strategists had ruined yet another win for him.

"Well, I've had better days but it's alright, not the first time I've felt like this." he sighs and shrugs a bit, trying to reduce his disappointment.

"It's alright to be upset, a missed race win always hurts." she emphasized with him "Especially at your home race."

"That makes it hurt even more, sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing." he tells gloomily.

"You are an extremely talented driver alright? And I'm not saying that because we're friends or because you're really upset right now, but it's something many people see. You literally won Formula 3 and 2 in your rookie season and are the second youngest driver in Ferrari's history with the longest contract. These are no small achievements, only somebody who is bloody amazing at their job can do that. One race in a season and a mistake which was made by your team does not define you." she rambles on in an attempt to make him feel better.

"Wow, you really weren't kidding when you said that you're my fan weren't you?" he asked, referring to what she said on the day they first met.

"Of course, I wasn't." she states "I don't know if you know this but you're incredibly talented. Don't let moments let the bad days break your spirit, you have many great moments ahead."

"Thank you, I really needed to hear that today. It just- it gets pretty hard somedays you know." he sighs as they look at evening sun at Monaco.

"As a fan, some races really bring in a horrible feeling and it's obviously a lot more worse for you drivers. You really are a strong person Charles." she tells him, shooting him a small encouraging smile.

"Be prepared to get more texts and even some calls from me because you sure do know how to boost a person's confidence." he jokes, his lips curving up.

Ah, there's the smile that was missing.

"Feel free to, always at your service Mr Leclerc." she laughed, glad that she could help him feel better.

One of the Ferrari staff comes and interrupts their conversation, saying that Charles had some work to do at the garage.

"I've got to go right now. Will you be at the dinner tonight?" he asks, referring to the dinner the Ferrari team hosted for their guests who'd been invited for the Monaco GP.

"I'll be there, see you later." she tells him with a smile, pulling out her elbow so that he could tap his against it. It was way of greeting they had to when they first met due to COVID precautions but had then turned into something that they always did at the end of their conversations.

Advika turned back so as to leave the paddock but then noticed her best friends Naysha and Ria waiting for her and walked towards them.

Naysha worked as Lewis Hamilton's PR manager while Ria was McLaren's Communications Manager, which she was a little bit jealous of because they got to be at the paddocks for all the races. Not to mention Naysha was literally working for the driver who happened to be the favourite of all the three girls.

"So...." Naysha asks her as both her and Ria give Advika a knowing look.

"So?" Advika responded in confusion.

"What just happened?" Ria asked, her eyes at the spot where Charles and Advika had conversed.

"Nothing much really, I was just trying to console him a bit." she tried to shrug it off, knowing where the conversation was heading.

"The look on both of your faces was anything but a bit, you really like him don't you?" Ria asked her which made her groan mentally. She probably did but wanted to avoid going too deep into it. Charles Leclerc was way too out of her league.

"I wouldn't go that far, I have a soft spot for him." she said, knowing that the girls' knew her too well.

"He's literally your celebrity crush." Naysha pointed out, referring to days Charles was in Formula 2.

"Was my celebrity crush and it was a tiny crush, he's kind of a friend now. Besides, his previous relationship didn't seem to be that serious although it was really long and that scares me." Advika mentioned. She'd never been the one to point out on somebody's past but she felt like reminding herself about that would be better before she ended up falling into the ditch.

"That's because Charles and her barely even spend time, he's around the world for most of the year." Naysha reminded her. Both Naysha and her wanted Advika and him to end up together, everybody could see that there was something between them, even the fans.

"Yeah and if we end up together it'll be even worse than that relationship because I have to travel a lot too, and it's even shittier during touring." Advika stated, clearly trying to avoid the conclusion her best friends wanted to arrive to.

She really should've gone with the warning she gave herself that day at Monaco, god knows it would've saved her from a heartbreak and Charles' time too.

•••••

Tag List: @crueloveascities

[masalateaaa]

That breakup comment was supposed to be here. Lol my mind 😭 but they better get back together asap because there is no place for angst here 🫣

[haloxsaisha]

Happens to all of us dw😭 and I'll bring on some fluff asap🥰

[haloxsaisha]

Like To Be You.

Chapter 3: There’s No Way.

[Charles Leclerc x Singer!OC]

Summary: Charles Leclerc, one of the most successful drivers in Formula 1 and Advika Hira, one of the biggest singers in the world seemed to have it all- their dream jobs, love and support from millions around the globe and trust worthy friends. What if life gave them a chance to go back to something that had been missing in their lives?

Warnings: mentions of food, LOTS of Google translated French, some Trivia on Desi weddings, Pierre being the best friend everybody needs in their lives, Lando being his usual self, Oscar and Ria being adorable.

Word Count: 3K words.

A/N: I’m so sorry for delaying this chapter again. As usual, I’ve attached the links for the Indian outfits, food and customs so that y’all can get a better idea. I hope you like the chapter, do let me know if you want to be added to the tag list <33

Italicized font: flashbacks.

Small italicized font in brackets: translations.

The next afternoon.

It was just the second day of the wedding week and everything was already beginning to change in Charles’ mind.

Keep reading

[masalateaaa]

They better makeup and be back together before this wedding ends. This is so beautiful Smriti, I absolutely loved it. Would ya mind tagging me in future chapters?

[haloxsaisha]

Yes ma'am, I'll work on it🫡 and yesss I'll add you on the tag list, I'm so glad you loved it💗

[haloxsaisha]

Like To Be You.

Chapter 2: ….Friends? Friends.

[Charles Leclerc x Singer!OC]

Summary: Charles Leclerc, one of the most successful drivers in Formula 1 and Advika Hira, one of the biggest singers in the world seemed to have it all- their dream jobs, love and support from millions around the globe and trust worthy friends. What if life gave them a chance to go back to something that had been missing in their lives?

Warnings: mention and conversations about hypothyroid.

Word count: 3.5K words.

A/N: Thank you so much for the response on chapter one and I’m so sorry for posting this one so late, I was kinda going through a bit of burnt out phase. But today being Charles’ birthday makes it the perfect time to post it too :)) I’ve attached the link of images just incase y'all might be curious about the locations and outfits (the people in the pictures are not the face claims for this series), click on the underlined text! Also do let me know if you want to be added to the tag list <33

December 2023.

“Um, holy shit.” was all that came out of Naysha’s mouth when she, Ria and Advika stepped out of the car in front of the hotel where they’d been to attend a wedding of their friend.

Keep reading

[masalateaaa]

We are back to cute nicknames after breaking up? 😭 also as someone who suffers from hyperthyroidism I totally relate. It takes a village to get on with the day 😢

[haloxsaisha]

Oh my god fr😭 everyday is so tiring and it's also so hard to sleep, which is so frustrating

[haloxsaisha]

Like To Be You.

Chapter 1: Flicker.

[Charles Leclerc x Singer!OC]

Summary: Charles Leclerc and Advika Hira seemed to have it all- their dream jobs, love and support from millions around the globe and trust worthy friends. What if life gave them a chance to go back to something that had been missing in their lives?

Warnings: mentions of anxiety and death, cringey fluff with a shit ton of cheesiness (because I’m covering the honeymoon phase please forgive me), Google translated French.

Word count: 2.2K words.

A/N: I have no clue how the Prologue is longer than this lmao, do read the prologue incase you missed it though. Nevertheless I hope y'all like the first chapter and do let me know if you want to be added to the tag list <33

Italicized font: flashbacks.

Small Italicized font in brackets: translations.

December 2023.

People bustling down in the streets below, the homely cafés, white and sparkly snow cascading down from sky which had orange, pink and blue scattered over it with the CN tower piercing through the sky. Toronto had always been one of Advika’s favourite places in the world, the place always helped her relax and destress. 

Keep reading

[masalateaaa]

You broke them up in the first chapter? How could you Smriti? I’ll be sending my therapy bills to you!

[haloxsaisha]

Bahsjsjsk I'm sorry, I'll make up for it as soon as I can pakka🥹

[haloxsaisha]

happy new year everyone! i'm so sorry for being very inactive lately, i'll try my best to post more soon. have an amazing year ahead <33

[haloxsaisha]

merry christmas to everyone celebrating it💗

[haloxsaisha]

Like To Be You.

Masterlist.

[Charles Leclerc x Singer!OC]

Charles Leclerc, one of the most successful drivers in Formula 1 and Advika Hira, one of the biggest singers in the world seemed to have it all- their dream jobs, love and support from millions around the globe and trust worthy friends. What if life gave them a chance to go back to something that had been missing in their lives?

playlist || prologue || chapter one || chapter two || chapter three

[haloxsaisha]

yesterday's wc finals match feels like a fever dream, i can't get over it

[sbinalino-deactivated20230402]

🤓

[haloxsaisha]

Mick in Mercedes les fucking gooooo omg😭🫶🏽

[haloxsaisha]

This Love.

(Part 2 to 'So Good'.)

[Lewis Hamilton x Actress!Reader]

Based on: This Love by Taylor Swift.

Warnings: a little bit of a cliched reunion (?), mentions of weight loss and depressing stuff, mediocre writing.

Word Count: 13.8K words.

Author's note: Thank you so much for all the love you've shown for "So Good", it was so overwhelming <33 Today happens to be my birthday too so I'm really happy about posting this part now. Also the reader is about 5 years younger than Lewis. I hope this is a fitting happy ending and reaches up to what you expected. Please ignore any mistakes because I haven't proof reading hasn't been done yet.

A year later.

Red carpets, flashing camera lights, champagne flutes were things that Lewis was not unfamiliar with in his life so far. However the perspective of today's event for him was definitely different.

Lewis always loved doing some or the other thing to keep himself busy, trying out new things and this was the start of something new for him. Starting his own production company and entering the film and television industry. Definitely something different from his cameo in 'Cars 2'.

Little did he know that it was going to be a new beginning for more than one thing in his life.

After giving his trademark model look in front of the cameras on the red carpet, obviously with a very fashionable outfit on, he entered the big hall.

It was an event for directors, producers and actors in Hollywood, he was hoping to meet some people who he could work with in the future, creating the same magic on the screen like he did on the track.

The evening went on like most events do, starting with 'hi's and 'hello's and going on with conversations about work and a few jokes being cracked, sipping on whatever alcoholic beverage was available.

That was until, the corner of his eyes spotted a rather distant yet familiar body.

He looked multiple times to make sure if it was the same person he was thinking of and after a slight tilt of the face, his thoughts had been confirmed.

It was you.

There you were, exchanging hugs and starting conversations with many friends and acquaintances that you'd met on a couple of occasions, sipping on the champagne that you had always been fond of.

The sight of you had brought in a swirl of emotions in him. Love due to all the memories you shared, happiness because he hadn't seen you in so long but what really blew him in the chest was disappointment in himself for letting you go and not even trying to reach out to you despite knowing that there was unfinished business between the both of you, anxiousness because he could reach out to you right now but didn't know how to do it.

You always brought out emotions that no person managed to do with him. That was the connection you shared.

After the last lap of the Abu Dhabi race last year, he felt so numb and empty on the inside. And everyone knew that the decisions made at a time one wasn't in a right state of mind weren't good ones at all, he had already experienced it before in life and yet, he let his emotions take over that day. He could've asked you for some space and then returned when he was alright, so as to not burden you with his pain and recovery but he just pushed you out completely.

He'd seen the articles which hinted about your loss in weight, tweets from your fans about how your social media activities came down. Even after your break from filming to heal, there was something he noticed himself— it was how your smile stopped reaching your ears like it used to, always so bright and how the sparkle in your eyes had gradually disappeared.

And he hated himself for doing that to you. You were nothing but understanding and loving despite knowing that his work was always what he'd hold the highest in his life, something that most of the women he'd been with had chastised him for. In fact, you were the one who always compromised your schedule to follow the COVID restrictions so that the both of you could meet during his race season. He didn't really take that much effort so as to meet you while you were busy shooting a movie and that always made him wonder if he'd taken advantage of your kindness and empathy.

Walking with his head running through multiple thoughts and emotions, he bumped into somebody, feeling something wet fall on his clothes.

"Oh gosh- I'm so sorry." apologies in a very familiar voice fell on his ears, a voice he'd recognise in a heartbeat. He looked up at you and let out a shaky breath.

God, you were so stunning.

You wore a red satin dress with a deep v back and the way you carried yourself in it reminded him of the goddess you were. He was reminded of the multiple times you told about how a cherry red lipstick and satin dress was enough to make you feel sexy, and he was right infront of the sight of it right now.

"No no, please don't apologise. I wasn't watching where I was going." he said, eyes falling on the spot on champagne that had been spilt on your dress "I'm so sorry about the stain, let me help you."

"It's alright Lewis, I'll get it done myself, it’s just going to the restroom and using some wet tissues." you told him, shaking your head and giving him a polite smile. Hearing his name in your voice after so long made him feel a pang in his chest.

He was pretty surprised about how nice you were to him after everything he did to you. Not giving the relationship enough priority and then breaking up over a bloody text message was absolute cowardice and a dick move from his side. Yet you gave him a sweet smile and didn't cut him off rudely.

"Please, I insist. It's the least I could after all the mess I created." he requested and the way your eyes softened told him that you understood that he wasn't referring only to the champagne stain.

You thought about what he said for a moment, staying in a dilemma if you should let him accompany you. You somehow managed to get over all the pain he caused and Lewis wasn't somebody who held back from speaking his thoughts, no matter how much sugarcoated the words would be. You knew that if you did let him help you, it would take you back to some memories that made your heart hurt at the same time but still brought in a fuzzy feeling.

But no matter what the brain warns you about, the heart wants what it wants, always.

"Sure." you said and he let out a relieved breath, giving you a grateful smile which made his eyes crinkle.

That was a sight you definitely missed, those damn brown eyes with the crinkles by the side.

Being the gentlemen he always was, he placed his hand on your lower back to guide you through the crowd of people, the feeling of his touch on your skin making a shiver pass through your body. God, the man still had the same effect on you.

“Well, what do we do now?” Lewis asked, confusion etched on his face at the sight of the separate washrooms in front of the both of you. The unusual innocence from him the moment had you close to laughing, considering how Lewis didn’t seem to bother about the gender separation in restrooms when he wanted to be with you away from the crowd.

"Well, it's not like the both of us have gone into only one of these together" you shrugged in an unbothered manner and his confusion increased, you were usually the one overthinking in situations like these and Lewis was the one who would pull you in, being his usual rebelious self. 

"But those were different situations.” he weakly argued, knowing that it was going to fail. The roles had reversed tonight and you sure as hell that you were going to drag him in like he used to when things got pretty handsy.

"I'll check the women's, you check the men's; we'll go into whichever's empty." you instruct him and he nods his head.

You check the women's restroom, finding that it wasn't empty. You went out to find Lewis with the door of the men's restroom open, giving you a look which you could understand that the restroom was empty and you nodded your head in understanding.

It was crazy how he didn't have to say anything but you still understood what his expressions meant.

You entered the room and he immediately goes to the corner to get some tissues for you.

"Thank you." you tell him after taking it in your hands "I could've just done it myself you know."

"Like I said, I wanted to help in cleaning the mess I created. If it makes you uncomfortable I can-" he stopped the sentence midway as you gave a nod that indicated that you didn't feel any discomfort, then continued "I watched the recent season of your series, you did an amazing job on it."

"Thank you." you tell him, passing a smile as you worked on cleaning the champagne stain "I heard about your production company by the way, that’s great." you congratulate him.

"Thank you. Um, did you watch this year’s season?" he asked, referring to, looking a bit nervous.

“I watched only Bahrain and Australia. Skipped Jeddah and honestly, I-” you sighed, knowing the answer wasn’t going to be a great one “I just felt better that weekend so I thought maybe just, not watching F1 for a while would be better for me.”

Guilt completely drained into Lewis after hearing that. He knew how much you loved the sport and how passionate about it, it was one the things about you that got him attracted to you— the way you’d grin while discussing about your favourite races, the frown on your face and the irritation in your tone when you rambled about a race that went bad for any of your favourite drivers, which included him. You mentioned how watching F1 got your mind off your hectic life and really helped you in a way, now he had taken it away from you.

But he was grateful about how honest you were, you could've easily blabbered something about how you continued watching the sport because you were very fond of it. He always loved how you didn't hesitate on being open with everyone and even showing vulnerability to the people very close to you.

“How did the season go though?” you asked him rather awkwardly just to push away the silence, fiddling with your dress.

"Well, kind of a shit show to be honest" he let out a dry chuckle " We got the aerodynamics and the floor wrong, a shit ton of break problems too. So just couple of podiums but no wins,I spent most of it just experimenting with the car and getting my back broken."

"That sounds like a complete nightmare, I'm sorry." you apologise. It must've been pretty rocky for him to deal with the season after having a great car for the preceding years; the backache must've been quite a nightmare too.

You couldn't even fathom how Lewis even managed to deal with all the shit that happened to him.

"Lewis, I've been wanting to say this for a while. I'm sorry......for not being there that day. During Abu Dhabi." you finally manage to tell him, leaving out a shaky sigh.

"You already apologized a lot about it then." he nodded, giving an understanding look "it's not your fault that you couldn't be there, you had to be there for your work just like I was for mine."

"Yes, but I still should've been there for you. I don't mean to impose but-" you start but he still continues nodding his head.

"Love, you've never imposed anything on me." he says, placing his hand on yours to comfort you "The problem wasn't you not being there, it was me making the wrong decisions because I wasn't doing great emotionally at the time. You probably hate me now" he mumbled, looking down at the ground in disappointment.

"I've always loved you for the F1 driver you have been, but after meeting you, my feelings for you went beyond because of the person you are. There were days I used to fight with my dad because I wanted to watch the race while he wanted to put on the news, he must've told you about it. And now, despite loving the sport so much, I couldn't watch a single race without losing my mind, I think you can guess why."

"Then why are you still being so nice to me?" he exclaims and you frown at him. You didn't expect him to feel so guilty about it. Did he also feel like there was something unfinished between the two of you?

"I really loved you Lewis. I always felt so loved and in this bubble of happiness and positivity around you. And like I said, you are an amazing human being so I didn't want to hold any hard feelings against you. I don't want to sound harsh but-" you let out a sigh, knowing it was going to sound harsh anyways "you haven't really had many serious relationships because of your work life and our relationship was probably like that too-"

"Woah, wait hold up-" he cuts you off and you wave your hand in front of him, thinking that he felt bad about upsetting you.

"No no, I'm not upset about that or anything. It's alright, I understand." you cut him off and he gives you a pointed look.

"Sweetie stop for a bit and hear me out . Did I really make you feel that way? Like our relationship didn't really mean anything?" he asks you and you shrug at him with a weak expression on your face, not knowing how to explain how you felt.

"Hey, look at me." he says, placing his hand on your cheek and you eyes fall on the face of the gorgeous man in front on you "I want to be very very honest with you right now. For the first time in years, I felt really comfortable and wanted to spend more time with somebody that I was dating. All those moments we had— just cooking together and then watching a movie at my place or all the times you surprised me with something special you planned, I always felt so much at peace with you, like none of the problems from the track would cloud my mind. I missed having your arms wrapped around me after my races, the feeling of your hand running through my hair after a bad race and that beautiful smile after a great one. I miss everything about you so much, I've always loved you and you'll always have a special corner in my heart, I'm so sorry if I didn't express that well." he finishes his soliloquy and you could only look at him in surprise, eyes getting misty and your mind still in a haze of shock, trying to let Lewis' words sink in.

Lewis wasn't really a person who expressed his emotions, the very heavy ones very often. He always kept his guard on, something that sunk into him deep over the years because of the constant emotions that came thwarting as an after effect on him racing. This was the most vulnerable he'd been to you after all the time you spent together.

You craved to see that side of him while you were together, the guy beneath all the solid rock exterior he had but you never voiced your thoughts to him. You wanted him to take him time to open up to you, to feel comfortable and during the race at Monza last year, it finally felt that he was beginning to feel the comfort with you, just like you did with him. But because of the way he broke up with you after Abu Dhabi, it felt like you looked into everything too much and that Lewis probably didn't feel that way around you.

Now that he voiced his feelings, it was like your feet had been stuck to the ground and everything around you stopped moving. You felt scared yet so fuzzy on the inside.

"Then why did you let me go?" you asked him and the broken look on your face made him want to wrap you in his arms and soothe all the wounds he caused, giving you all the love you deserved.

"I just- I felt nothing at the time, it was just numbness. It was one of the worst things that ever happened to me, I couldn't burden you with my problems and all the emotions I was going through." he explained.

"Lew," you tell softly, taking a step forward so as to be closer to him "that wouldn't have been a burden to me, never. I've always cared about you and loved you. It's totally alright to lean onto somebody and let them hold your hand. That's what I wanted to do. Remember Monza? You don't really have to talk or open up until you want to, just being with a comforting company does it all. I was your girlfriend, all I wanted was to just be there for you. Through whatever it was, happiness or pain. Just like how I was there during your seventh at Turkey, I wanted to be there the same way after what happened at Abu Dhabi. There's nothing wrong in showing your emotions or letting it out, you're just as human as everybody is"

"I've missed out on so many things in life because I've given it all to racing and I don't want to let go of you, you make my life so much better. I don't deserve you but-" he starts and you shook your head at him.

"Don't be ridiculous now. I always felt so loved, safe and at peace around you. You're all I've ever wanted." you tell him, taking his hand in yours and intertwining them.

"I barely came to support you at work, you'd been to so many races." he said but you gave him a look, indicating him to stop the self blame knowing how deep he'd go into that.

"We've already spoken about that before, we've both missed a lot of events because of our work and the pandemic restrictions. Now that it's done, we can work on that too yeah?" you tell him.

"You want to work on us again?" he says and the way his eyes brightened up in hope brought a smile on your lips.

There was nothing the both of you would leave unfinished.

"Only if you don't shut me out again." you tell him, knowing what damage it caused the last time "Nothing about you is a burden to me. We can make it through, I'm always here for you."

"I'm so sorry." he says, pulling you in for a hug by holding your waist "I won't let things go wrong this time, proper communication this time okay?".

"Please don't let me fall again." you mumbled, placing your forehead on his.

"I'll hold onto you tight, I promise. Never letting you go again." he says, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing a kiss on your forehead.

You were back with your person and it filled you with peace, that love came back to you.

[haloxsaisha]

50 followers! Thank you so much, to everyone who followed 🥺❤️

[haloxsaisha]

pleaseeee write a part 2 for So Good with a happy ending. the fic had me crying and thinking about it for a whole day 😭😔🤲🏽😩🥺

I definitely will! And I'm so sorry for making you cry, definitely coming up with a happy ending, I'm glad you liked it💗