[cinnajun]

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: sun and moon | lhc

summary | your childhood best friend, donghyuck, claims he loves you. given his other friends and who he is as a person, you don’t believe him.

genre | lee haechan x fem!reader, high school seniors! au, childhood best friends to lovers, angst, fluff at the end, hyuck + the rest of 7dream are canonical assholes

warnings | high school parties (i.e. underage drinking)

wc | 6.1k

a/n: got a little carried away w this one, so thanks to the anon who requested it! anywho, i listened to tek it by cafune on repeat while writing this, so if u want a song rec ^^ imagine black haired glimo hc for this one <33 (p.s., if you want to play the game reader describes, this is the link) (p.p.s ignore their high school classes this is fanfic logic)

ft. sungchan, loona’s gowon, le sserafim’s chaewon

IT’S A SATURDAY AFTERNOON, and Donghyuck is laying down on your bed, watching you play whatever stupid video game you were infatuated with now. He didn’t come over often, not since your first year, so there was a slight bit of awkwardness between you two.

Nevertheless, you allow him to lay there, dressed in the tacky cool-guy getup that he seemed to love so much.

Outside, rain poured, and you knew that was the chief reason he was in your bedroom right now. If there wasn’t a flash flood warning, he’d be out and about with Mark Lee, Na Jaemin, and the rest of them, ruining people’s days left and right for the fun of it.

You wanted to consider Donghyuck to be your best friend, still. Given who he was now, the reputation he harbored, and the lack of time spent with one another, you didn’t feel like he was.

“I don’t understand the game,” he said, catching your attention fairly easily. You turned your head, giving him a dirty look for interrupting your flow. “You just look like you’re putting lines and boxes on a screen, but there’s a score.”

“You’re supposed to make paths. You close them off with the little dots,” you mumbled, turning back to your screen. The sound of Donghyuck sliding off your bed and kneel-walking to your side filled your ears but was mostly drowned out by the rain and the sound of the music coming through your speakers.

He stopped his kneel-walk adjacent to you, squinting at the screen. You didn’t slow down or try to explain your moves, simply placing each piece you were given in a way that most made sense.

“I seriously don’t get it. Is there a strategy to this?”

“No.”

“So you just…play for fun?”

“U-huh.”

“Man,” he mumbled, leaning his chin on the edge of your desk. You continued playing, clicking your shapes around into places they most fit, ignoring the way Dongyuck seemed to stare at you, now, rather than the game. “Who’ve you been hanging out with, these days?”

That question struck a chord. Briefly, you remembered the week-and-a-half where you stuck to Donghyuck as he began growing close with his current friends, and how left out you felt through the whole experience. It was, quite possibly, the worst week of your life.

“Sungchan from the grade below, Chaewon, and Gowon,” you replied, wondering if he’d even know who they were. From the way he didn’t respond, you assumed he didn’t, which hurt a little bit. “Uh, Chaewon is—”

“The girl with the short hair. Yeah, Renjun had a bit of a thing for her a while ago,” he cut you off with some unprompted information, which shocked you. If you remembered correctly, Chaewon had a massive crush on him for about a year; the new information made you wonder if he’d pursued her and dropped her the moment he’d found a better target.

“Really? Huh,” you hummed, glancing down at him. You made eye contact for a split second, but you broke it off the moment you realized how intense his stare was.

“So, how do you play this game?”

A small sigh escaped your lips, short in duration yet heavy in weight. You pointed at one of the boxes on the screen, turning to him once again. “You want to put the little circles in the boxes. Using the ‘X’ shapes, parallel lines, and the single lines, you want to connect all the boxes together to make paths. You put the little circles on the end of empty lines, too. You get points depending on how many circles you put in the boxes and how many circled-off paths you make.”

“Yeah, that makes absolutely no sense,” he scoffed. You were glad his attention was on the screen again. A bright flash of light broke through your bedroom windows, followed by a floor-shaking boom shortly thereafter. “You were always smarter than I was.”

“Not a chance. You just never tried hard enough.”

Silence fell between you two, and the only noise in the room turned into soft clicks and the droning of your music. It was nice being able to pretend like he wasn’t there, although you couldn’t help but wonder when you started feeling so…averse towards him. Maybe it was a product of the leftover hurt of his abandonment last year, or maybe it was because of how different his presence was.

When you were little, your mom always called him the sun and you the moon. He was bright and happy, always dressed in vibrant colors and ready to stand up for you whenever anyone did or said anything mean. He loved it when you and your mom took him to the beach, in the same way you loved it when he and his mom took you up into the countryside.

You were opposites as a kid, in the way that you were puzzle pieces that easily fit together. At some point, though, other pieces were added to that puzzle, and you both were torn apart by pieces that just fit better.

“[First]! Donghyuck!” Your mom called, her voice barely comprehensible above the pouring rain and the music. “Dinner!”

You picked up your phone, paused the music, and unplugged your phone from its charger. But, before you could stand up, Donghyuck put a hand on your knee, sending a shiver down your spine. You gave him a look, mentally saying “what the hell?” but he quickly explained himself.

“Can we talk? Just for a second.”

You gave him another look but complied. “One second, Mom!” you yelled, hoping she heard. “Just finishing up a game!”

He pushed himself off the floor, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. You spun around in your desk chair, pulling your knees up to your chest and chewing on the inside of your cheek. He cleared his throat as if he was nervous, which would be surprising given his personality.

You never thought you’d see the day when both you and Donghyuck were nervous to talk to each other.

“You don’t hate me or anything, right?”

You wished you knew the answer to that.

“What? No,” you replied, shaking your head. “Why would I hate you? We just grew apart, it’s not the end of the world. It was bound to happen.”

“Yeah, well,” he mumbled, looking off to the side. There was a pause in his sentence, then he cleared his throat again. “I’m in love with you.”

The whole room seemed to freeze over. You were utterly speechless.

“Pardon?”

“I love you. A lot. Like, love you.”

Letting your mind move faster than your mouth, you replied faster than you would’ve wanted to.

“No, you don’t.”

That seemed to stun him, as his eyes widened and his lips parted ever-so-slightly. You watched as hurt filled his expression, but you couldn’t help but stick with your response. He didn’t move to say anything else, so you stood up, stretching your arms into the air.

“Look, we’re friends and all, but you don’t love me, Hyuck. You can’t love someone when you barely know them.”

Saying that probably hurt you more than it hurt him, but you stood by it nonetheless. “How do I barely know you?” he asked, standing and walking to block your path. “Did I imagine the past fifteen years or something? I practically know everything there is to know about you.”

“I’m not sixteen anymore, dude. We’re practically eighteen. The last time we talked frequently was the end of our first year,” you said, crossing your arms. “If you told me you were in love with me back then, I might’ve believed you. But, as things stand right now, you are not.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” he replied, frowning at you. “A year isn’t going to change everything about you, [First]. I knew you were weird about this, but that’s—that’s just ridiculous. Don’t you realize how ridiculous that is?”

“It’s not very ridiculous when I spent three months wondering if we were even friends anymore. You realize it took you three months to even text me back? You ignored me, pretended like I wasn’t there, and now you expect me to think you’re in love with me? Give me a break.”

“Maybe I ignored you because I was trying to get rid of the part of me that was hopelessly in love with you because I didn’t want to destroy the decade and a half of friendship we’ve built. Ever consider that? I bet not because you’re always so goddamn unreasonable with this. God forbid anyone gets too close, huh? God forbid the one person who knows you best get too close.”

“I let you get close, Donghyuck,” you spat, narrowing your eyes. “I put my whole trust into you, my entire life was you. I was nothing if not yours, and then you threw me to the curb the moment you found better people. I’m not upset about that, it was bound to happen, but—”

“But what?”

“But you didn’t even apologize.”

He scoffed at that, crossing his arms. “Oh my god, it’s not like I told you to fuck off and never talk to me again, did I? Back then even looking at you was difficult, but, for the entire three months, my friends—who you so vehemently hate—kept telling me to reach out. I thought that if you disappeared, if I pretended like I never let my feelings go that far, things would go back to normal, but they didn’t. They still haven’t.”

“Why now, then? Why now, after I already decided that our friendship was pretty much over, huh? Why did you wait? Why not after those three months? Why not any time other than now?”

You side-stepped past him, opening the door to your bedroom and approaching the stairwell. You didn’t hear him follow, but you didn’t care to look back or check what he was doing. Instead, you ran downstairs, cringing when your mom’s face turned into one of confusion.

“Where’s Donghyuck, sweetie?”

“He’ll be down in a second,” you said nonchalantly, assuming your normal seat at the dinner table. “He just needed to deal with something quickly.”

-

The summer sun beamed down on you and your friends, and you lamented the lack of clouds, or really anything, blocking the sun. You sometimes wondered why you and your friends had decided to eat lunch at the very corner of the school’s soccer field, but, when the weird time between summer and autumn hit, you were sure to remember.

“It’s so god damn hot,” Sungchan panted, flopping onto the grass. The green seemed to cradle him in a way that made him look a bit majestic, even with your ugly uniforms. Chaewon hummed in agreement, shoveling noodles in her mouth; she, like you, always brought lunch from home.

“Where’s Gowon?” you asked, glancing down at him. He put a hand over his eyes, covering the painful gaze of the sun. “Did you see her in the lunch line?”

“She’s not walking over yet?” Sungchan asked, turning his head towards you. Chaewon waved away a fly that was getting too close to his uncovered lunch, mumbling something about how bugs in the summer were always so terrible. “She wasn’t too far behind me in line. I dunno where she would’ve gone.”

“Hm.”

You scanned the field, looking for any sign of her, but she was nowhere to be found. Chaewon turned her whole torso around to look as well, looking for any sign of her. “She might’ve gotten caught up with somebody. I’ll go check, just to make sure.”

She hopped up from the grass, running in the direction of the building’s doors. You looked at Sungchan, who didn’t move at all. “Dude, P.E. wrecked me today. I can barely feel my legs.”

“You wouldn’t have to take P.E. if you had taken a music course.”

“Oh, shut up, not everybody is as perfect and lovely as you, [First],” he huffed, pushing himself off the grass. You reached out and brushed a blade of grass out of his hair, but he didn’t thank you for the gesture at all. “You’re quiet today. Is everything good?”

No, my childhood best friend, who I didn’t think even liked me as a friend anymore, confessed his love for me, you thought.

“Yeah, just a bit tired. We had a big English test today.”

“Gross,” he replied, finally picking up his tray and beginning to eat. “Man, I can’t imagine having to start preparing for my CSATs. Do you ever go home?”

“I don’t study often. I’m gonna study enough to get into a college and get a degree.” You shrugged, taking a bite out of the fruit sandwich your mom had made you after you woke up incredibly late. Suddenly, in the distance, the doors to the school building burst open, revealing Chaewon, who was dragging Gowon behind her. Gowon barely had a steady handle on her lunch tray, keeping it balanced enough that it wouldn’t spill everywhere as they ran.

“Jesus,” Sungchan muttered, taking a bite of whatever they served for lunch that day.

Gowon and Chaewon made it to you both at record speeds, with Chaewon practically sliding into her previous sitting spot. “Dude,” she began, huffing and puffing from the running she did. Gowon practically crumbled onto the floor, taking three big swigs from her water bottle. “What in the world happened between you and Donghyuck?”

“What?”

“I found Gowon, like, surrounded by his little gang as he talked to her. She looked like she was going to faint, but he pretty clearly asked where you were,” she giggled, reaching out and slapping your shoulder. “So? What is it?”

“He told me he was in love with me yesterday.”

Chaewon practically shrieked with joy, to the point where it almost made you feel bad for the outcome of his stark leap. “And? And?”

“I told him that he didn’t love me and that he doesn’t know me very well anymore.”

Gowon choked on her water, covering her mouth and trying not to spit it all out. Instead, she just coughed to the side, barely able to swallow it all down. Sungchan stared at you in complete shock, and Chaewon’s excited face morphed into a sad and confused one.

“Excuse me?” Gowon breathed out. “You what? You, [First] [Last], known for your compassion and kindness, said what?”

“I mean, he doesn’t love me. He loves who he knew a year ago, when we were still attached at the hip and he still wore that stupid yellow bomber jacket that I bought him in middle school,” you sighed, taking another bite of the sandwich. “I’m not—I’m not the same, you know? I like different things, I do different things, and I hang out with different people. He’s not the same either. It wouldn’t…it just wouldn’t work.”

“Bullshit.” Sungchan laughed dryly, giving you a sour look. “You can’t just say that to someone confessing their love to you, no matter how well you know them. I mean, imagine if you worked up the courage to confess to someone and they immediately invalidated their feelings?”

“It’s not like I don’t know that my approach was bad, but it’s the truth. We just aren’t compatible as we are now.”

“But…but weren’t you two…? I mean don’t you still hang out?” Chaewon asked, frowning.

“When he can’t make it to his other friends, yes. Snow days, the flash flood yesterday, when we had that huge dry lightning storm and the power went out. I’m his backup entertainment, and, even when we do hang out, we usually just watch movies in silence or do our own things.”

“I agree with [First].” Gowon nodded, her voice hoarse from the coughing fit she just escaped. “She has a point. I mean, you guys remember what he was like first year…nothing like he is now, y’know?”

“But it was mean to do that,” Chaewon argued, crossing her arms. “You can’t just say stuff like that. You need to apologize, [First].”

“I’ll apologize when I feel like I need to. For now,” you paused, taking a final bite of your sandwich. “I am not going to talk to him about it.”

“[First], don’t be an asshole,” Sungchan replied.

“Oh, I’m the asshole? Shall I recount when he left me in the dust last year? Or when he forgot my birthday and skipped out on my birthday dinner, which both of his parents attended, because he was going to Incheon with Na Jaemin and Lee Jeno? Or when he blew me off every single time I tried to keep our friendship going?” you scoffed, turning towards him. Gowon, who’d been the first person to befriend you after you lost Donghyuck, kept quiet, but she placed a hand on your shoulder in support. “I don’t owe him anything for being a dick, and then deciding he wants to date me. It’s a miracle I even keep him around.”

Chaewon frowned, laying off, but Sungchan didn’t seem to like your answer. Instead, he picked up his tray, pushed himself off the ground, and began a tantrum-ish march to the school building. Nobody tried to stop him.

“I didn’t know,” Chaewon muttered, twiddling her thumbs. “Sorry.”

“No harm, no foul,” you hummed, packing up your lunch box. “Sungchan’ll get over himself.”

-

Once again, rain poured outside, trapping you and your classmates in your classroom while everyone waited for the principal to announce it was safe to leave. For the most part, it was quiet, with mostly everybody parked at their desk and studying or napping. You were watching some random Japanese drama from 2008, laying your head on a quasi-pillow (your bunched-up sweater) that rested on your desk.

Everyone was tired. Of course they were, as it was a Thursday, and nobody wanted to be at school past 4 pm on a Thursday.

The sound of the classroom door being thrown open seemed to grab everyone's attention. You glanced up, cringing when you saw who was invading your peaceful, little classroom. They instantly caused everyone (who was awake, that is) to start whispering back and forth as if the visitors were the president and his men.

You were lamenting the fact that the boy who sat in front of you wasn't at school today.

Donghyuck pulled the chair in front of you closer to your desk, taking a seat so that he’d be facing you rather than the chalkboard. You didn’t move, trying to focus on the subtitles of your new show. But, it seemed he wasn’t very deterred by your current activity, as he easily plucked your earbud from your ear.

Sighing, you paused your show, pushing yourself up from the uncomfortable position. Your back creaked as you did, causing a few sharp pains to travel up your spine.

“Did you need to bring your entire posse with you? you mumbled suppressing a yawn. He shrugged, leaning his elbow on your desk and putting his head in his hands.

“My birthday’s tomorrow,” he said, glancing down at your little setup before looking back up at you. “I’m having a party tonight, though. I’d like for you to come.”

Last year, you missed his birthday party, simply dropping off a gift with his mother before it began. You remember looking out your window, staring at the lights protruding from his house at the end of the street, the kids in the front yard, and the cars parked down the street. The neighborhood you lived in was a nice one—your house was one your mom inherited, which was the only reason you lived somewhere that nice—so houses were spread out to the point where he could get away with a party.

Plus, neither his mom nor his dad seemed to care what was happening. After you dropped the gift off, you watched them drive off together, and they didn’t seem to return until the next Sunday.

You remember thinking how much you would hate to go to a party like that.

“I’m not really into stuff like that,” you replied. “I’ll drop off your gift again and say hi, or something, but I’d rather not go to a party.”

“What if I said you could lock yourself in my room and hang out there the entire time?”

You scrunched your nose up, thinking about what your mom would do if she saw the party happening again while you lazed around in your bedroom. “No studying, no partying, just useless,” she’d tell you, pinching your cheek. “At least do something.”

“I guess,” you mumbled, looking around to see everybody staring at you. In the doorway stood Huang Renjun and Zhong Chenle, both watching you converse a little too intently.

At your response, a warm smile blossomed on Donghyuck’s face. “Great. See you tonight.”

He pushed himself up from the chair, leaving it where it was rather than tucking it in. He shoved his hands into his pockets, pushing past Renjun and Chenle, who stayed and stared at you for a second more. Chenle said something, but you couldn’t hear what it was; after that, he walked off, Renjun following.

You laid your head back down, putting your earbud back in your ear, but you didn’t go to play your drama. Instead, you sat there, staring at the rain pour, slamming into the window faster than you’d ever seen it go.

You hoped he’d leave you alone after this. Getting over the loss of the person you spent nearly your whole childhood with would be difficult, but you’d muscle through it—you always did.

-

Chaewon and Gowon sat on your couch, watching you fail at wrapping the gift you’d prepared for Donghyuck. They were dressed casually for the event so that you didn’t feel out of place as you walked in and beelined for the upstairs.

“So, you’re…regifting him something?”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, ripping tape out of the dispenser. “It’s a little keychain he got me two years ago, along with a ring I put on a chain. He likes necklaces…I think. It’ll be a good way to say, ‘let’s not see each other for a while,’ you know?”

You ignored the tugging at your heart and the way your throat seemed to close at the thought, focusing on how best to wrap the small box in a way that didn’t look ugly. Because of your intense focus, you were lost on the way Chaewon and Gowon looked at each other as if they somehow picked up on the way you were feeling.

“You’re sure there’s no way you could be in love with him too, right?” Chaewon suddenly asked, causing you to perk up. You furrowed your brows at that, your heart lurching in your chest at the question. It made you nervous.

“What? No.” You shook your head, placing a final piece of tape on the gift. You held it up and examined the poor wrapping job you did, frowning at it. For a temporary-last gift, it sucked. “Not a chance.”

“Should we go then? It’s 8, we’re already an hour late.”

“Yeah,” you nodded, standing up with the box. “Now or never, I guess. Have you heard from Sungchan?”

“He’s probably there already. Heard he’s friends with Zhong Chenle and never told us,” Gowon said. You looked at her, eyes widened.

“Really? I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Yeah, well, now’s the time for learning, I guess,” she said. The three of you approached the door, slipping on shoes and putting on jackets. The moment you opened the door, you were hit with a blast of wet, hot air.

“I hate summer,” you mumbled, stepping outside. Your friends followed, and, together, you made the small trek to Donghyuck’s house. It was surrounded by cars and kids, and the sound of loud music accompanied by bright lighting filled the air. You were glad you didn’t live in a packed area, because, if you did, you were sure this would’ve gone a lot worse.

You pushed past all the already-drunk people outside, grabbing onto Chaewon’s hand for support. “This doesn’t look like a gift-giving party,” you whispered, to which Chaewon rolled her eyes, squeezing your hand.

“And you’re close to him, so you’re expected to get a gift.”

Gowon opened the door and, instantly, you were hit with the scent of alcohol and sweat, which wasn’t pleasant at all. Donghyuck’s house, having been renovated when you were kids, was the perfect location for a party like this one, with people roaming about and searching for something to do. The music drowned out anything you could hear, so you hoped Gowon would follow as you moved ahead, slipping past several people you knew (and, many people you didn’t).

The stairwell wasn’t far from the door, and you made it easily. Jaemin and Mark were lingering near it, seemingly making sure nobody tried to sneak up there and potentially steal something. You nodded your head at Jaemin the moment you made eye contact, but he didn’t step out of the way.

“I can take the gift,” he half-yelled, holding his hand out. Despite the volume of his voice, you could barely hear him and were a bit confused when he took the box out of your hands. You leaned closer to hear him, but you halfway wished you hadn’t. “Only you’re allowed up.”

You lurched back, looking at Chaewon and Gowon, who both nodded at you reassuringly. Chaewon released your hand, giving you a small smile before linking arms with Gowon. You sighed, running up the stairs as fast as you could. As promised, it was much quieter upstairs—as quiet as it could be given the surroundings—and much emptier. The upstairs looked just as you remembered it looking, with the only difference being a couple of newer pictures placed along the walls.

This felt like your childhood. A bit of nostalgia squeezed your heart as you walked down the hall, staring at pictures of the Lee family that you knew so well. Donghyuck’s parents were beautiful—unsurprising given how beautiful their son was—and that was made known by their wedding pictures, which sat framed at the edge of the hall.

You approached them, examining the bundles of photos they had put up. You remembered the several times you, as a small kid, told Donghyuck’s mother how you wanted to look just like her when she got married, with her gorgeous white gown and veil.

How ironic.

You turned the corner, approaching the final door in that section of the corridor. It was closed, and a small “do not enter!” sign was plastered on it. You blatantly ignored the directions, turning the knob and pushing inside.

His room looked different from the last time you were here.

It was darker, more mature, with more posters and less empty wall space. It looked like the teenage boy's room you’d see on a TV show, especially with the fancy computer and three monitors he had sitting on the desk. You shut the door behind you—it was kind of shocking how his room blocked out all the sound from downstairs—looking around at all he had up.

On his dresser were a few framed pictures, all of which were pictures of you two. The first one was one when you were little, two kids smiling on a playground with no worries in the world, dressed in matching sun and moon outfits. Then, there was a picture of you two at a class performance you had to do in second grade, dressed in tacky outfits that your parents had made together.

The third was a picture of you two in middle school, dressed in your uniforms roaming Lotte World, eating ice cream and laughing at whatever joke was shared between you two. You look back on that day fondly, remembering how much fun you’d had. That was where Donghyuck had gotten the keychain you were gifting back to him.

The final picture was one from your first year of high school. This one was much more robotic than the rest, both of you smiling for the picture and not just to smile. You stood far apart from each other, holding onto your school bags and looking mildly uncomfortable. Your hair was messy from a long day, and there were prevalent bags under Donghyuck’s eyes.

He looked unhappy, in a way. So did you.

Sighing, you approached his bed, taking a seat on the floor and leaning your back against it. You slid your phone from your jacket pocket, scrolling through various notifications you had. Most were from Chaewon, who was using her phone to have her and Gowon communicate with you.

“On an adventure to find a bathroom and lock ourselves insides,” read the first one, along with a couple of random emojis she tacked on.

“Sungchan is all up close and personal with some of Donghyuck’s posse. Who’d have thought they were friends when he’s such a loser lol.”

And, finally, a “Hiding in a non-crowded corner!! Only one bathroom was open, but we will survive by people watching!!”

You typed back a swift response, confirming you were in Donghyuck’s bedroom and feeling quite tired. If you had to guess, this night would end without you seeing Donghyuck at all, and you’d fall asleep on his bedroom floor, only to be woken up by Gowon and Chaewon, who’d snuck upstairs after everyone passed out drunk.

“Gowon here, and I think Donghyuck opened your gift. He doesn’t look pleased, I think. Storming towards the stairs. Fighting!”

Okay, so maybe you spoke too soon. You looked towards the door, wondering what he would have to say to you about it; maybe he’d reject it, giving it back to you and telling you to fuck off, or maybe he’d be reasonable about it, let you talk through things.

Considering the way the door opened, you assumed it to be the former.

Donghyuck practically slammed the door shut behind him, holding up the small white box that you’d put the ring-necklace and keychain in. He stared at you for a second, and you stared back, waiting for him to say something.

“What is this?”

You shrugged, looking at the box. “The sun keychain you got me a few years ago and—”

“The ring you liked to wear all the time in middle school. Yes, I know, I’m aware, but that’s not what I meant.”

You knew what he meant, but you didn’t want to. “Okay, then what did you mean?”

He narrowed his eyes, dropping to the floor in front of you. He stared at you, trying to gauge what exactly you were trying to accomplish by acting clueless. “Why are you giving it back?”

“Because I feel like we need to separate for a bit longer. Like, actually separate this time. Not the not-see-each-other-for-three-weeks routine anymore. A few months without being sun and moon, and just being two different people.”

He put the box down, crossing his legs. Donghyuck didn’t say anything, assuming the same hurt face he had when you told him he didn’t love you. “This is exactly why I never wanted to tell you,” he finally said, letting his head drop to the floor. “One chance your perfect bubble is disrupted and you’ll freak out and shut down.”

Your mouth dropped open, and you were a bit shocked at his response. You had nothing to say, nothing to defend yourself with other than the pitiful look you gave.

“But I’m going to say no to that, [First]. You can’t run every single time something doesn’t go your way. So we either figure this out right here and now, or I don’t think we’ll make it much farther as friends.”

You didn’t want to lose your friendship with him. He was the closest thing to you, the closest person to your secrets, the closest person to your happiness. You were okay with a break for a few months, maybe more, but you did not want to unfriend him for forever.

The way your heart hurt, the way your head spun, the way you found it hard to look him in the eyes and say “but we need this” was taking a toll on you. And, as you went through the motions, a little voice in your head began to say “Maybe you are in love with him, just a little bit. Maybe you have been for a while.”

“I’m sorry for ghosting you last year,” he continued, taking a deep, shaky breath. “I didn’t consider how you would feel and put myself first. I ejected you from a big change in my life, and I just assumed you’d be there to come back to after it was all said and done. You didn’t deserve it.”

You bit your lip in an attempt to keep your emotions squared off and invisible. Even hearing the apology made you want to fall apart, after waiting so long to hear anything of the sort. You remembered how lost you felt without him around, how hurt you felt when you sent text after text and yielded no response.

“Okay, I forgive you.”

It was short, but it got the point across without you bursting into tears at Lee Donghyuck actually apologizing to you. He took another deep breath, closing his hands into a fist.

“One more time, then. [First], I am in love with you.”

You sharply inhaled, looking down at the floor. “Okay. I could be, too. Maybe a little bit.”

It went silent between you, and you refused to look up from the ground. Gently, you reached out and began tracing little drawings on the floor, ones that you visualized in your mind. Saturn, the moon, the stars, the sun, you and Donghyuck, in constant orbit with each other, up in a boundless space you would never reach.

Suddenly, he got onto his knees, causing you to look up. Faster than you would’ve imagined, he shuffled over to you, encasing your face with his hands and pulling you into a soft yet heavy kiss. It left you stunned, but you didn’t seem to mind it that much.

Like the sun, Donghtuck was warm, from the way his hands managed to warm up your already burning cheeks or the way he practically emulated heat, as you felt from the close contact. He tasted like sour lemonade, perfect for a hot, summer day that had you trapped outside for the majority of the day. In a way, he was summer, carefree and bright, ready to ditch all responsibility and run off into the sunset.

When he pulled away from you, he seemed a bit embarrassed, sitting back on his feet and looking off to the side. “Sorry,” he mumbled, clearing his throat. “I didn’t ask if I could do that. Sorry.”

“I…didn’t mind too much,” you responded, looking down at the floor for the white box that held the keychain and the ring necklace. You opened it, picking up the chain and sliding the ring off it. You grabbed his hand, hoping it would at least fit on his pinky (which it did, thankfully). “Happy birthday.”

He looked down, a small scoff escaping his lips. “What, are you proposing? It hasn’t even been a minute, I mean, are you that obsessed with me?”

“Oh, yeah, For sure.” You rolled your eyes, dropping his hand so you could leave a small punch on his shoulder. “Let’s date, Lee Donghyuck.”

He repeated your idea with a high-pitched, mocking voice, and you could tell he was incredibly embarrassed. It made you giggle, and flick his forehead, to which he lurched back and gave you an incredulous look.

“Get over yourself.”

“If I do, will you take the keychain back?”

“Oh, shut up, loser.”

thank you for reading!

[hanhhoas]

aw ,,, i loved this :(( i went through/am going through a similar situation and i really felt the angst and emotions that both characters here felt, the fear of confessing, pushing the person you like away, and the realization that maybe hiding away is just another way of ignoring the feelings you have blooming in your chest ,,, @cinnajun <3 love love !!!

[hanhhoas]

bf!soobin

synopsis: bf!soobin goes to see y/n off at the airport

word count: about 800

warnings: angst!! much angst!

To the outside eye, it probably looked like a perfect scenario. A couple sitting by the airport security gate, the boy holding a small bouquet with one hand, the other gently holding the girl’s hand, as if she was made of glass. A beautiful parting at a place where hundreds of people wandered in and out, lost to the mundane of traveling, not realizing that they traveled not alone but with the weight of the past and the hope of the future. 

What they didn’t notice was the conversation being had.

“It won’t be goodbye, Y/N”, Soobin insisted. “I’m looking for a second job, and I’m already planning on moving out of my current apartment to save money on rent. With that extra money, I can visit you three, maybe four times a year even.”

“And then what? Will you put all of your dreams on hold for me? For someone who can’t even guarantee they’ll come back? ”, Y/N said bitterly. 

“You’re not just someone. You’re my present. I want you to be my future,” Soobin interjected, “You’re my dream.”

They had had this conversation over and over again over the weeks before Y/N had to leave, every time ending with Soobin insisting that they could make long-distance work for however long. That he was willing to do whatever it took because he loved her. 

Y/N looked into his eyes. They were filled with wonder, twinkling at her as if she was made of starlight itself, yet slightly glossed over from the starting tears. He was hers, her stardust boy, her miracle. But she couldn’t be his, not without hurting him. Not without making him lose the dream he’d originally had of becoming a music producer, settling for working three jobs just to have enough money to visit her overseas. He insisted every time that she was worth it, that any future plans he had included her. 

Looking at the dwindling security line, Y/N had a sudden heartbreaking thought. That Soobin would never be able to live his life, that he would be stuck in time, waiting and waiting for someone who couldn’t promise him the world he deserved. The guilt chewed at her conscious, turning her stomach. She couldn’t let him do that, not for her. 

“Binnie, could you buy me some water? I’m feeling a bit tired”, Y/N said. She raised her hand, gently placing it on his cheek and brushing away the bangs from his eyes.

“Of course,” Soobin replied, “The store nearest here is closed but I think there was a place open at the terminal we passed. I’ll be back soon.” He left a soft, lingering kiss on Y/N’s cheek before leaving. 

Looking at his retreating figure, Y/N made up her mind. She wouldn’t be able to bear saying goodbye to the person who had given her so many precious memories. 

Before meeting Soobin, Y/N didn’t believe in fairytales, in ‘happily ever after’. But Soobin came tumbling into her life, with his infectious smile and love that just seemed to overflow out of his very being. That very love that, at this moment, she felt like she had no right to being the recipient of. 

Gathering her things, Y/N made her way to the security gate. She would be gone before Soobin returned. She couldn’t have Soobin living his life in a never-ending cycle for her. 

Y/N had never understood before, those who said heartbreak was just as physically painful as it was emotional. But every step she took to the gate felt like a piercing dagger through her being. Fighting her urge to run back and find Soobin, to apologize for what she was about to do, Y/N gave her ticket and ID to the security guard, before walking to the line to take off her shoes and jacket. Placing her things in bins to get checked, she heard her name being called.

“Y/N? Y/N, where’d you go? I got your water, Y/N?” 

Blinking back the tears that were beginning to pool in her eyes, Y/N stepped past the security machine, putting her shoes and jacket back on, before pulling out her phone to send one last message.

Y/N:

I’m sorry.

I love you.

Turning off her phone, she made her way to her gate, leaving behind a piece of her heart, with the only one who ever made it beat. Sitting at a seat in front of her gate, Y/N let her tears spill freely, creating speckles of dark on her jeans. 

Binnie: 

I wasn’t lying when I said you were my new dream.

You aren’t just my dream, you’re my miracle. 

I heard the flowers are blooming in Europe these days. 

Enjoy the beautiful flowers.

I’ll be waiting for you. 

author’s note: there’s a reference at the end to a line from a chinese poem; about an emperor and his wife whom he loved dearly. every spring she would go visit her mother at her hometown. the emperor missed her and wrote her letters. he couldn’t bring himself to ask her to return quickly, as he loved her too much. instead, in one of these letters, he wrote the line ‘陌上花开，可缓缓归矣’ or ‘flowers are blooming by the road. Enjoy them on your way back’. this line can be interpreted as someone missing their lover desperately, yet so in love that they dare not ask them to leave the simple pleasures of life. 

[marriedimmortals]

Wenzhou AU

(Post ED to modern day)

“Once you wake up, you will forget everything”

“Was I… Dreaming?”

By: ( https://weibo.com/u/6898620833 )

Subbed by: Me ☺️

____________________________________

This is definitely favorite wenzhou AU edit atm. I had to sub it… Although the quality is a bit shit because tumblr doesn’t allow anything over 100mb, I hope you enjoy this. If you have a weibo, please go like the original edit.

[hanhhoas]

a little journal with me for "the untamed" cdrama <3 please leave a comment for feedback or just to say hi :))

[usertoxicyaoi]

#and all this happened in literally the space of a minute.

- Word Of Honor (Episode 2).

[hanhhoas]

she couldn’t get married,,, but for a much more tragic reason

aka in my head they got married and lived happily every after while visiting their brother in laws at the four seasons manor

[ruanbaijie]

《山河令》 Word of Honour (2021) ⌘ Episode 25

天涯孤鸿，无根行客 (tiān yá gū hóng, wú gēn xíng kè)

the bolded characters - “xing” and “ke” - are the same as in wkx’s name

执子之手，坐看云舒 (zhí zǐ zhī shǒu, zuò kàn yún shū)

the bolded characters - “zi” and “shu” - are the same as in zzs’s name

执子之手 is part of the saying “执子之手，与子偕老“ which dates back to the Zhou Dynasty (770 BC-256 BC). Although simply translated as  “hand in hand” above, the entire sentence as a whole originally referred to the promise between soldiers, but today commonly refers to two people promising to grow old together, hand in hand, loving and protecting one another.

坐看云舒 is derived from the sentence “宠辱不惊，看庭前花开花落；去留无意，望天空云卷云舒。” which was written by 陈继儒 Chen Jiru (1558-1639) during the Ming Dynasty. Its literal meaning is “if one can view insults as something as common as the blooming and falling of flowers, they will not be fearful; if one can view things coming and going as ever changing as the curling and unfolding of the clouds, they will not be bothered by it”. Another saying derived from this sentence is “坐看云卷云舒，静听花开花落，任凭潮起潮落” - although life is full of ups and downs and countless setbacks, if one can maintain a calm frame of mind and not be excited or upset by external happenings and one’s own gains and losses, if one is not entangled by the countless distractions of the material world, no matter how challenging the ups and downs and obstacles, one can still leisurely watch the clouds curling and unfolding, and can still quieten their heart to listen to the flowers blooming and falling.

客行虽云乐，不如早旋归 (kè xíng suī yún lè, bù rú zǎo xuán guī)

the bolded characters - “ke” and “xing” - are the same as in wkx’s name

The entire sentence is from the poem 明月何皎皎 from the Eastern Han Dynasty (25-220):

明月何皎皎，照我罗床帏。 Why is the bright moon so bright, as it shines its light on my gauze bed curtains?

忧愁不能寐，揽衣起徘徊。 Clouded with worries, I cannot fall asleep, I grasp my clothes and pace.

客行虽云乐，不如早旋归。 Though the drifting guest finds joy in wandering, it is still better to return home soon.

出户独彷徨，愁思当告谁？ I leave the room and walk around alone aimlessly, wondering sorrowfully whom I should confide in.

引领还入房，泪下沾裳衣。 I stretch my neck and look in the distance but I can only return to my room, as my tears wet and stain my clothes.

[gyupeach]

in theatres this week: seventeen music videos as movies (pt. 1)

home (★★★★★): drama, romance fallin’ flower (★★★★☆): fantasy, musical fear (★★★★★): horror, thriller left and right (★★★★☆): coming of age, comedy

[2-cute-4-school]

NCT Dream reaction to you getting your wisdom teeth removed

Mark

babysitting the dreamies is part of his daily job so he thinks ‘how hard can it be to take care of you for a few hours pffft’

he’s never regretted underestimating you so bad in his entire life ◑.◑

you’re not just a nightmare

you’re THE ULTIMATE NIGHTMARE

he was so embarrassed when he had to gently drag you out of the dentist’s office while you were crying cuz

“mY TOOTH!! mark, i lost my tooth, what am i gonna do?!?! i should have put a leash on it, i knew it!!!! now it’s gone and it’s all my fault!!!!” (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )

*ugly sobbing* *mark awkwardly patting your back while pulling you away from the scrutinizing glares of a few karens in the waiting room*

“mark. i didn’t even get to name it!!!”

poor bby cheetah mark is SO lost

“baby, hey, don’t cry! we’ll uh…. i’ll get you a new one!” ヾ(ﾟДﾟ;ヾ)

you look up with your glassy eyes and your right cheek chubbier than your left from the cotton lodged where your tooth used to be, your bottom lip trembling oh so cutely 

and mark just…stops functioning for a moment because

‘HOW CAN ANYONE BE SO CUTE BUT SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS AT THE SAME TIME IT’S NOT FAIR !!??!?!?’

“ rweally? would you really do that for me, markie?” (◞‸◟；)

“ASFKSFRDACGCS YES LOML ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING JUST SAY THE WORD AND I’LL BRING THE MOON TO YOUR FEET YOU PRECIOUS LIL BABY” ⊂（♡⌂♡）⊃

 and he still insists he’s not 120% whipped for you can you believe it

he ends up piggybacking you all the way back home because your giggles were just too cute for him to resist so he can’t even get tired with how happy he is to witness you so carefree and joyful

and his heart just melts when you leave a huuuge kith with the loudest *MWAH* ever on his cheek and you nuzzle your nose in the crook of his neck that’s like the fatal combination of cute acts ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)

in conclusion : this man just adores you with every bit of his heart :((((

Keep reading

[celestialpearls]

➱ to my moon

➱ Wen Junhui x reader

➱ sprinkle of fluff, some angst

➱ 526 words

➱ People and stars have one thing in common. Both are yearned for permanency in one’s life. 

➱ A/N: a late day of hearts gift to you all hehe 💗

The drawing of the little stars under a crescent moon on his thumb is fading so soon. Permanent markers are supposed to serve its purpose of permanency on whatever it touches. Yet, it is temporary. Likened to the wishful forever Jun thought you and him would have, only for the love between you to fall short. In some cases, forever may be tangible. But the love you and him shared only gave way to a love that lasted for as long as it possibly can. For as long as you possibly want. 

Jun sighs, putting his hand back in his pocket and crosses his arms together despite wearing his thick beige coat. The heather and merigold hues meshed together of nature’s dome reminds him of you. And it made his heart clench. Like you have reached into his chest, plucked the red organ out for you to squeeze until he can’t catch his breath. You made him feel a tornado of emotions which he would never forget. You have moulded your form into his heart eternally despite a love that was fleeting. 

You adored the sky, particularly when it is littered with stars. Laying down in silence, he lets you ponder, dream as your eyes glitter like the stars. You looked beautiful doing so and he cannot help but gaze at you, finding you far more gorgeous than what the sky has to offer. Your allure is incomparable. 

“You remind me of a star,” he blurts out. The drawing on his thumb feels comforting. 

Your eyes were still trained on the sky but you were listening as you let out a short hum, responding, “how so?”

Keep reading

[hanhhoas]

ah i love this !! wen junhi really out here inspiring carats to make and write such soft and dainty storied i loVE

[warmau]

happy 1/27 day! for some reason i decided to write something slightly sad, but intimate. tw: unrequited love, suggestive themes, etc - it’s january it’s got to be a little sad.

taeyong can’t stop thinking about how an hour ago mark had leaned over and plucked a strand of hair from the fabric of his tshirt. twirling it between his fingers, he had asked taeyong if it belonged to you. taeyong had stared - empty eyed for a moment - no, probably not. mark has always had an uncanny way of knowing something is wrong but being too awkward to want to comfort you about it so he had let the strand just float down to the floor. the conversation, the topic, the idea of you floating down too. but now you are swimming to the surface of his mind - over and over, no matter how many waves he keeps conjuring up to keep you underwater. he had lied, the hair was totally yours - you had woken up in this tshirt and shed it before leaving his room wordlessly. taeyong, pretending to sleep, listened to your soft footsteps shuffle in a practiced circle as you dressed yourself and picked up your things. not even a kiss on the cheek goodbye, not even a look over your shoulder. when he’d finally peeled himself up and out of the morning haze - he had chose to wear the same shirt you’d spent all night in. smelled ok, looked ok, felt ok. taeyong is still in it now as he’s standing alone in the hallway outside of the practice room. his phone is heavy in his hand as it dings every now and then with updates or texts. none of them are from you. you come and go as you please. leave traces on his skin and on his clothes. he puts a hand up the hem of the tshirt and feels a little bumpy bruise on the right side of his ribcage. you hold onto him so hard like you want to never let go……..but then, for some reason and he hates whatever that reason may be, you do.

johnny traces the line of your legs from across the café. you still haven’t noticed him, and he knows you aren’t just pretending not to - he can read you like a magazine - nothing hidden, you are big crazy font and catchy one liners to him. instead you are standing there with a sweet smile and some idiot who doesn’t look half as good as he thinks he does is trying desperately to have you accept his offer to pay for your four dollar latte. johnny resists the urge to snort - his mother instilled some manners in him - because this poor loser doesn’t know what he’s about to step into if you agree. to correct any misshapen thoughts, johnny does not think you are a bad person. in fact, you are one of the people that johnny has always found himself interested by - and that is way more of a compliment than just being labeled as plain old “nice”. johnny doesn’t like nice people anyway, they usually except so little in bed. he knows he should stop looking at you. he’s categorizing the memory of you again and putting the knowledge he has of your physical body into little boxes in his head. the habit is going to eat him alive later, under the cold running water of his shower. “ok, ok fine! but don’t think that this is like …… a date or anything!” your voice is two octaves higher than usual, nice and sugary to match the smile you’re wearing. johnny is a little disappointed, him - really? you might let him have a chance? and in that wavering moment when you step back to let that other boy pay, your gaze catches johnny’s. that smile you’re wearing doesn’t wipe from your mouth, just from your eyes and johnny smiles back with a polite tilt of his head. unconsciously he starts to trace the features of your lips, before stopping because you turn away and gaze all stars at the barista who hands you your free latte. when you walk back to your table with mr. head-over-heels, johnny forces himself not to follow your path with his eyes. he’s seen all of it. he doesn’t need to keep mocking himself with the reminder.

yuta, for what might be the first time in his life, is left speechless when the interviewer asks - “and you, what’s your favorite taste?”. they’re on some international radio, talking about food which is a staple safety topic for idols. what kind of ice-cream do you like? do you like spicy or mild? do you have a sweettooth? yuta is aware the circling, repeating questions about their interests and enjoyments and preferences is all a part of selling their identities. it has never bothered him before, and he always answers truthfully because this is one thing he doesn’t see the point in lying about it. you know like when they ask stupid shit like - where would you take your girlfriend on a date? or even more blatantly idiotic - what girl is your ideal type? the first time he heard it he had almost quipped back with the why say girl, why not person line that crossed his mind but he had kept his smartmouth shut - rookies under such a big label shouldn’t cause a stir. but now as he’s sitting here and staring at some bags of local snacks piled in the middle near the host and her mic and the tall, thin bottle of water he hasn’t touched since he got here - he feels like he’s gotten whiplash. someone, probably doyoung notices how yuta hasn’t answered and becomes more animated to pull the spotlight away from the fumble and onto him and his love of coffee. so what is it about that question that lodges a stone in the base of yuta’s throat - it’s the word: taste. you shadow over him with a power he has never seen bared before him like this. he’s so used to it, climbing on top. holding the weaker wrists in his grip. counting the autopiloted groans and snaps of his hip. but this is different because you are leading him down a route that he hasn’t seen in a long, long time. maybe he hasn’t ever really seen it at all. your mouth kisses at the pivot of his jawline, where a little bit of sweat is still present - you cascade down to his lips and mutter - it’s my favorite taste - he feels like you are going to lean back and disappear into a cloudy part of his imagination. my sweat? he wrinkles his nose in disgust to be humorous in a moment that makes him nervous. no, just you. im being weird huh? you slip your shirt over your head and then you do disappear. yuta blinks through the replay and finds himself still sitting speechless in this uncomfortable plastic chair in a radio station in a country he knows at most three things about. “i like-” he wants to say, but no one is listening anymore. he wonders what he would say next. your laughter fills the space between his earlobes. 

[warmau]

haechan is obsessed with the way it hurts, the kind of sizzling pain that hits in a zig zagging spark, like there is a thunderstorm brewing in the tattoo machine and the needle delivers a well deserved zap every time it breaks skin. when he had told his friends he was going to get a tattoo, johnny had whistled in encouragement and jungwoo had asked what in the world was making him want to go outside and pay someone to voluntarily stab him for hours. it really isn’t anything too bad though, it is just the right amount of pain that makes haechan acutely aware of the layers of flesh people have to lug around with themselves everyday. he’s blessed only slightly, in that he is stretchy and bendable - he can make this body of his move without much thought to the laws of physics. he can sail, he can drift - that’s how you had described it. people are built to be boats, rigid and unwavering, but haechan thinks about how you had looked at him with all the tenderness in the world when you had described him to be the froth of the ocean - skidding easily on the tops of waves. that was the first time he had truly almost lost control. if he had been another person, with little less dignity to save, he would have taken your face his hands and kissed the last word from your lips then. walked you backwards into the wall, tasted that apple hanging off the lowest branch just like eve had. but he had said something, maybe laughed? the artist shifts and moves around to get more ink on the needle. the momentary lose of dulling sting pulls haechan back into reality. “so why an anchor?” he asks and haechan doesn’t budge when the needle hits his skin again. “you consider yourself a grounded person?” - haechan says no, he just thought it looked cool. an anchor can hold something in place, it can take what it is tied to and drag it into the depths of the sea. haechan thinks about the last time he had been inched again into losing control - the day you left. he was going to be an idol, and you were going to go to let go of the silly idea that he could love you through all of that - not that that’s what you said, instead you had cheerily told haechan you were finally growing up! leaving this place to start your life. again, if he was anyone else but not this springy human body incapable of doing the one thing he wished he could - he really would have wrapped his fingers around your wrist and said “i want you to keep believing in the silly idea that im going to chose you everyday no matter where in the world i am”. yet, instead of any of that he had let you leave. you were never tied to him, never anchored, never promised or anything. he likes the reliving the feeling of watching your back get smaller and smaller - one, two, three sharp knives lodging into the same bleeding wound. 

doyoung smells it before you even turn the corner and it makes his stomach flip in the unpleasant way it would right before he knows he should book it to the bathroom. what is it, what is the word - light, something like mist, like water from a creek - specifically a forests creek, untouched and untapped. doyoung pinpoints it because it wafts around him everyday, it lingers in the spot next to him, when they cram into a group photo - sometimes it is so close it makes doyoung dizzy and other times - it’s far away, but still pungent. you tippy toe up and brush a crumb from the corner of mark’s mouth, “you are so messy.” - mark’s ears flush in the boyish way only he can get embarrassed. when you and mark enter the room, you’re sharing some pastry hidden by the brown bag of the local bakery. doyoung took you there when you first came into his life, well their life - everyone in the group knows you now. you fish out a napkin and hand it to mark, gentle and obviously charmed by the way in which mark is every form of pure. doyoung hates that he starts questioning his own status - impure? defiled? wrong? what about him is different from mark, there is a lot - a laundry list that doyoung will not stop thinking about if he doesn’t will himself out of it. he doesn’t want to say he is jealous or spiteful or any sort of angry toward you or mark. instead he is dancing with the devil of insecurity. he knows you are with mark, you chose him and he chose you. that’s why doyoung can literally inhale the traces of his fellow member on you, but that is only natural when two people date. when two people are intimate. doyoung isn’t actually so sure that mark would go all the way so fast, or you either, but that isn’t his business - can he please stop philosophizing about it. you finish doting, ok maybe doyoung is a little bit jealous of the prospect of people caring for each other, and wave at him. you step toward him to ask how he is and doyoung says he’s good. you have never even thought about him like that - you have never even entertained the idea that he has thought about you like that. closer like this, doyoung picks up the scent that’s just you. honey. a fantasy, he buries his face into your hair and he is wrapped up in the closeness and buzzing of bliss. you say you’re happy to hear he’s good, doyoung knows you aren’t lying. he watches you skip back to the life he wishes he was living. he considered, maybe he should look at honey scented candles or lotion or - he bites back his lower lip - is it cruel of him to wish that one day he’ll smell just that coming around the corner. just the honey. just you.

jungwoo entertains the thought that he could really fall in love with this person standing in front of him in the line for the movies. there is a blur of peoples voices and other sounds and jungwoo, who is easily distracted, keeps repeating this sentiment in his mind. i could love this person. i could love this person. i could love this person. they suddenly look over their shoulder and past him, he doesn’t know who they are, what their name is, how old they are. he just knows that life is fucking messed up and he could be struck by cupid’s intuition right now - c’mon - c’mon higher powers, make him fall in love with this person. the moment of forced concentration is shattered when someone else slips in beside the stranger, kissing their neck and asking something about how if they really wanna watch this movie or ditch it for the warmth of a bed. jungwoo scoffs a little too loud and has to pretend to be coughing when he gets the dirty looks. ok, so i can’t love this person. but i’m sure i can love someone - someone - anyone. jungwoo looks around for prospects, but now that he’s been metaphorically “beaten to the punch” his thoughts drift to the only place they can when he gets himself wound up about his feelings. he wishes you had stayed a stranger, just like all these people in the theater. but you had wormed your way into something more - he shouldn’t say wormed, he opened the door to his heart like an utter fool - and yet it had stopped at friends …. with benefits … jungwoo is still on the fence that he could ever chase what he felt for you in anyone else. you were always telling him, don’t be complicated - don’t be serious. to be fair, you are the only person ever who had said that to him, kim jungwoo, on the regular. being serious was kind of against his human nature. but with you he had wanted so badly to be just that - serious, committed. he had frolicked through the field of that was kissing sloppily in tight corners and sharing bodily fixations in a string of words that did not make total sense and when you had said ok, but im letting other people into this field too - he had felt the flowers under his feet wilt. not like monogamy is something he believes in, he just knows he had wanted it with you. wanted all that and the domestic, corny stuff he saw on screens and shared between people on trains or park benches. he had wanted to be - and gag him honestly - your boyfriend. but you liked being friends and not being “complicated’. he sticks his hands into his pockets and wishes sometimes you hadn’t been so cheap with your words, you didn’t want it to be “complicated” - you would have done better just to say “i don’t love you back, jungwoo.” 

[warmau]

taeil is not a lightweight, but he isn’t notorious for getting wasted either. he actually only likes alcohol when it is paired well with a meal - drinking by itself seems so useless and something that fits his college age rather then the man he is now. so when everyone keeps inviting him out for a “drink” he knows it’s just another ritual of post-break up cheering up. taeil keeps telling everyone he’s fine, no really - the whole thing was amicable and not as cruel as it could have been. you and him were reading the same book for sure, but on different chapters - is how he describes it. the truth - he has no idea what caused the break up, but by the time you were bringing it up and being so polite about it taeil realized he should just parrot it back. say what you were saying but altered, picking things that you were unsatisfied with in him and throwing it back at you (gently). you hugged him after, kissing his cheek - “ill pick my stuff up later in the week.” taeil had decided to help the process, started putting your things into a box. and now he’s standing in the middle of his bedroom holding your spare underwear in one hand and nursing a beer from the six pack he got from the corner store in the other. he chucks the garment into the box after telling himself he looks like a psycho staring at underwear like that. he goes back to digging you out of the nooks and crannies of his life, clothes, books, forgotten accessories. before he knows, he’s done with his drink and his mouth is dry for another. he goes to get a second bottle and looks at the label - half to make sure he doesn’t overdo it and half because he forgot which brand he got. oh - it’s the one you had mentioned before. the four walls around him shrink slightly and he’s not even close to drunk, or even tipsy - but there you are. there you are, not in flesh but something else, blooming from that bag of trinkets and smiling at taeil with all the moonstruck love you had for him when you had first started dating. what made you lose it? he wants to ask and you, through the smile beaming at him answer, you lost it first, right? if he hadn’t already put it down - taeil thinks he would have dropped the bottle and ended up standing in a pile of glass shards. instead his hand flexes unnaturally as if he should be holding something but isn’t, as if he should be holding you and he isn’t. when did he let go? 

jaehyun swears he’s going to relinquish whatever is left of his humanity if he hears that word one more time. “it’s like you are soooooo perfect, you have everything any guy could want!” - exactly what does that even fucking mean? jaehyun hates being called that. whenever someone labels him that - perfect - he feels like he’s being shoved into a glass case, locked in with a glass key, everything that could possibly bend him out of shape denied. no sunlight, no dust, no fingerprints. the word scratches into his mind, drills itself into his veins. if you’re not perfect, you’re not jung jaehyun. he wants to stop getting this ultimatum from everyone. but all he does instead is nod, feigning sheepishness - “oh im not perfect, that is just a misconception.” - the fluttering of eyelashes, the giggle, the don’t be so modest! is rehearsed and boring. he has been on what seems like an endless amount of dates that always end up the same way. they come and expect prince charming and jaehyun tries to play it up, until twenty minutes later he is either too tired to keep up and ditches or finds himself locked between hungry thighs and hands just to feel something (this happens way too much in closets, such is the woe of being in this industry). jaehyun has only ever been truly seen by one person - scrutinized with the intention of uprooting the actual disaster that stands behind the veil of flawlessness. you had sat up and pressed your palms flat against his shoulders, pointing out that his right shoulder is naturally at a higher angle than his left - he probably puts more weight on it. jaehyun has never noticed, he looks pretty symmetrical in photos and videos so he doesn’t know what to say back when you make the observation - he jokes that he isn’t perfect like you think. you had stared deep into him and the pleasure building up in his chest had drummed into anxiety. “i don’t think you’re perfect, no one is.” your flat palms dug a little into his skin, before you returned one to his cheek and the other had disappeared past his belt. jaehyun had never seen stars so fast. after that he had always been too shy to ask you what else about him did you see, did you sense, that wasn’t ideal. did you maybe see the birthmark on his lower back? could you taste the fear of being abandoned when you kissed him? and you never gave answers to these questions in his head so now jaehyun wishes desperately he can find someone else who he can finally muster the courage to ask. but all they do is project perfection on him. “like look at your body and your face - it’s -” he doesn’t have to hear the last word. he gets up and tugs the pretty thing from across the table up to their feet. there’s a closet somewhere nearby, some tight space right? less talking means he doesn’t have to listen. they touch his shoulder and jaehyun pushes the ghost that’s always there somewhere deeper down.

mark writes a love letter he never intends on sending. he writes it because the words rattle around in his brain and make it hard for him to focus on anything, from brushing his teeth to performing. he sits down in the desk lamp light of the otherwise three in the morning darkness and writes what he has always wanted to say. and there is a lot. he maps through the stages of emotions he’s went through, the different levels of love that have rippled through him like a pebble in clear water. just thinking you’re cute, learning more about the inner workings of your complex human mind, asking you about your family because he genuinely wants to know if he’d be able to impress them, thinking about holding your hand, thinking about your hand on his throat, laying awake staring at the ceiling and counting the minutes till he sees you again, learning about the darker end of the road tunnels in your maze, thinking about you in his clothes, hypothetical wedding locations. mark is surprised and also a little horrified at the amount of words on the paper when he finishes and the sun comes out. he leans back and scratches behind his ear, yawns. he writes something about wanting the kind of emotion he still sees flutter between his parents. he taps the pen to his lips and almost tilts back his chair too far. when he signs the letter, it is close to six. he puts it in an envelope and then opens the pages of some random book and stuffs it inbetween, closing it and muttering for himself to forget. he climbs, tired limbs back under the covers of his bed, maybe he can sleep - he hasn’t been able to since all those words made a home in his brain - but now they’ve moved to paper. his eyes flutter close and although the thoughts aren’t as loud and amplified and annoying anymore there is something residual left. words can only express so much. mark turns on his head and something feels like it has wrapped around his waist, pressing itself flush into him. you always used to do that, innocent and shivering, mark’s room was always too cold for your liking and he was always just the right temperature. mark doesn’t open his eyes for a long time, he doesn’t sleep, but he’s scared because the feeling of this comfortable weight does not leave and part of him is waiting for it to fade, it has to - and another part is too scared to let it go forever. 

[warmau]

☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au kun it’s late …… but happy birthday leader kun ~ find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle

there’s a sharp knock on the glass of your window 

you stare up at the ceiling and don’t move an inch from the comfort of your bed until the knock comes again. and again.

with a groan you roll off your sheets and compose yourself before walking over and pushing your curtains aside

on the other side of the window is kun

standing god knows how on the side of the second story of your house and you cross your arms

he motions for you to open the window and you shake your head

he rolls his eyes and somehow the little gesture ticks you off to no end

who does he think he is? always being so rude, even when he needs me to do something for him!

he motions again and you try not to look at the strong line of his arms - he’s wearing a sleeveless tank and jeans which really? how athletic is he climbing in those thing-

you sneer but you give in, undoing the latch and pushing open the window

stepping back, kun climbs through without a hitch and once he’s standing on the carpet of your bedroom you look up and start

“i was about to go to sleep what are you doing her-”

“where’s your cousin?”

he doesn’t even look at you.

in fact, he looks over your shoulder at your door that’s closed

“he said to meet him before we both sneak out, but that dumbass could have just met me at the party himself.”

you uncross your arms and instead curl your fingers into fists at your side

“so why didn’t you sneak through the guestroom window asshole -”

“don’t know which window is the guest room. i just knew this one was yours because of the childish curtains.”

he gets under your nerves. he really does. he has since you meet him as the naïve new kid at your towns middle school

and he - he was the ever so perfect at everything upperclassman. 

that hadn’t changed much now - as you got older you came to understand that kun could do no wrong in the eyes of everyone BUT you

your parents thought he was the shining example of a young man, your friends all wanted to date him, and now even your cousin who was staying with you for the summer was impressed with him.

they’d met at the party you had thrown to welcome your cousin and how kun even got there - you don’t know - but he’d shown up with sicheng and ten 

and then was talking to your cousin and everyone and making you irritated the entire night ……. and yet ………… here he was now 

sneaking out with YOUR cousin to go to another party. who’s party? you didn’t know - your own damn cousin had invited KUN and not YOU

you don’t want to bite your tongue anymore - you want to start mouthing off on him just like he thinks he has the right to do with you 

but if you raise your voice, you’ll wake your parents and you have the sinking feeling that if they walked in on this scene 

they might not be as angry about it as other parents would be……you cringe, thinking about how your mother had once inquired you if kun and you were considering being more than friends.

you look up at him now. more than friends? he’s going to be my enemy till i die.

you think your worry comes to life when your door opens and you turn so fast in fear of seeing your parents actually standing there, but it is just your cousin

who grins at kun and pushes past you like you’re a ghost in your own room

“ready to go dude?” he asks and kun suddenly takes this moment of all to look at you 

he makes a noise of agreement, but he keeps his line of vision on you. it makes something crawl up your skin. creep, don’t look at me like that! 

it only lasts a split second, before both boys are using your window to sneak out into the sticky summer night and you’re rushing over to shut it. 

before you do - you watch them disappear out of the backyard - two figures in the moon. 

you huff, reaching for your curtains and you don’t notice kun look back.

this keeps happening. 

sometimes kun does come sneaking back through your window (he says he can’t get the guest room one where your cousin is - there’s nothing for him to climb up on that side of the house) but rather than just that

kun just keeps appearing around you

he’s at the same parties, he’s at the same park, he’s at the same beach. the town has never felt smaller and your cousin is the reason for it all. he drags kun everywhere - like they’re the bestest of friends.

they’ve known each other for like two or something weeks…..can’t they find other people to hangout with! maybe i should just stay in my room from now on-

you turn off the shower and try to erase the thought from your head. you wrap a towel around yourself and scurry down the hall back to your room where you shut the door and sigh.

he annoys me so much that my brain can’t help thinking about him when it should just be trying to throw him out of my he-

your shoulders tense when you hear a familiar sound at the window. 

no fucking way

the curtains are drawn back now and through the glass you see the familiar outline of kun’s figure

you stomp over - you’ve been boiling over his constant presence and you think fine, he wants to come into your room, you wont let him until he hears what you really think

so you yank the window up, but not enough for him to climb through

“hey i can-”

“kun, i know everyone thinks your gods gift to this earth but what would they think of you trying to sneak into my room through the goddamn window at midnight? huh? can’t spend your summer doing something better than bothering me? that’s what the prince of this little town does - peep through wind-”

in the heat of the moment you throw your hands up to the glass of the window and the towel ……. drops

you probably wouldn’t have even noticed - how wound up you’ve gotten - but kun 

kun nearly falls straight off the side of your house and you can see the panic reflected in his eyes flash so you yank the window up and instead of letting him fall backwards

you pull him in and ontop of you

the two of you topple over onto your carpet - the thudding sound resounds and kun catches himself on his arms so his weight doesn’t crush you

you stare up - that flash of panic is still in kun’s eyes and for a second you try to figure out why when you feel the summer air gust through and all over your exposed skin

you scream, because what else can you do, and kun pushes himself off you

you reach for the towel pooled beside you and wrap yourself back up - getting to your feet with wobbly horror and staring at kun who is sitting back with that expression stil on his face

it doesn’t last long though because you hear someone pull at your doorknob - your mothers voice coming from the otherside

kun falls back and rolls himself under your bedframe - just in time for the door to open and your mother to rush in with worry laced in her voice

“what happened?”

qian kun just saw me naked!

“i- i though-i thought i saw something in the window im fine, really!”

your mother pries but you push her back toward the door gently, assuring her that it was probably an owl or a racoon in a tree. really. 

she touches your shoulder and says to call her if you need anything. you close the door again and listen to her footsteps down the stairs.

you breath in and turn around - kun has gotten out from under the bed and is now standing at the corner of your bed looking more lost than you’ve ever seen him in your life

no snarky remarks, no stupid smug look on his face 

you feel angry. you still feel all pissed off from before, but now there’s something else coursing through you. 

shame.

“get out”

you grit your teeth. 

“i - i would never-”

“get out kun, seriously.”

he stumbles, no confidence and no superiority, just an almost wounded like stride as he reaches for the window again.

he looks over his shoulder and you brace yourself - with him, he could look sad all he wants but you know deep down he could say something so cruel right about now-

“im sorry.”

you clutch the towel 

sorry for what? for being better than me at everything? for having to see me at my most vulnerable when all i ever see you at is your best?

you think - or at least you assume you think this - you don’t realize you’ve said it out loud

kun stops and swallows, “im not the best at anything. im a horrible liar you know.”

“what?”

the towel should be soft, but it feels heavy, like a lifeline you’re gripping but that just gets harder and harder to keep close

kun pushes his lower body through the window and then looks at you one final time

“im a horrible liar. the reasons i even- the reason im always around you isn’t because of your cousin. it’s because i want to be near-”

you don’t hear the last word because he disappears right after that, you stand in the corner of your room, he wants to be near what? 

you look at the shut door, the mirror hanging on the back of it, and your reflection

did he say he wants to be near me?

you don’t really go anywhere for a couple of days after that. 

your cousin is always out, but you don’t even want to go see your friends. you just know that that will risk seeing-

something knocks against your window and you look over, a new feeling swelling in your chest that isn’t like that dread you’ve felt before

but instead of kun’s figure - you just see the raindrops that are accumulating on the glass

a heavy summer storm brews up outside and you think it’s ironic. your brain feels like it is going through a tornado of its own. 

you walk toward it and think it would be nice to feel the rain though - to touch something outside of room and when you open it you do see something

you see someone in the backyard

“kun?”

you’re rushing out on the grass - barefoot and wrapping your arms around yourself in the wind of the rain

“kun why are you here - my cou-”

“im here to see you.”

you don’t understand - and then a strong chill that doesn’t come from the storm runs up your spine - he’s here to make fun of me isn’t he? mock me?

“listen, i don’t want to hear it from you of all people - you saw me naked for a second and you have no right-”

“its you. im always here to see you. do you understand?”

he’s talking over me - like usual - but why is his tone-

“excuse me? understand wh-”

the rain gets heavier and you cannot believe you’re about to do this but you’re getting soaked and so is kun and so you point to your window

“meet me up there.”

you don’t know why you invite him. you expect the worst and you expect to get hurt and made fun of it. but you do it anyway. 

part of you is saying it’s because you want to pick a fight - but another part, quieter and that’s been dormant for a while says no, it’s because you might think you hate kun but you aren’t going to let him stand out in the rain any longer.

you wish you could tell this part to shut up and go away, but you give into it every time. especially, it seems, when it comes to him of all people.

kun looks displaced again in your room - he usually sneaks through and acts like he owns the place - but this time he’s back to this awkward atmosphere

you feel sick thinking about how you kind of wish you had the other side of him back

“so why are you here kun, really. it’s embarrassing enough for me that you saw me-”

“im sick of lying.” 

you blink, looking at him more seriously

“lying?”

“your cousin is fun and all, but cmon - you said it yourself. everyone expects the best of me, why would i spend my summer partying around the town. do you think i like it?”

speechless you don’t say anything in response and kun continues

“it’s just, finally i had an excuse good enough to be around you. to sneak up through your window, to hangout with the people you are friends with, to see you. otherwise - i never get a chance to-”

he looks different tonight, maybe because he’s drenched with rain, but he looks more like the kun you’ve known for years

put together, serious, he even has his glasses on tonight which shocks you more than anything because ever since the summer started - ever since he’s been around your cousin - he seems to have ditched them

you think slowly the pieces are coming together in your head about what point kun is making

it creeps in and you think shock is going to overcome you when kun confesses - with none of that bravado he seems to have adapted - 

“i just know you hate me and without a good reason you would never let me near you so i - i just did the one thing that meant i could be close to you, because i dont hate you, i really like-”

you take a couple of steps toward him, closing your fingers around his face and you hear kun’s breath hitch up 

you pull him down and toward you and just as you’re about to brush your lips against his - you instead pull him into a tight hug

you bury your face in his chest. his hands stuck stiff at his sides

“im not going to kiss you until you promise me one thing kun”

you can feel his heartbeat and yours, both rushing - louder than the thunder outside

“wh-what?”

“if we do this - whatever this will be - you have to promise you’ll still hangout with my cousin. he really thinks you guys are best friends.”

after a bit of a pause you feel his chest rumble with laughter

which you take offense to as you pull out of his arms - “hey don’t laugh! im being seri-”

“this is why i want to be near you by the way.”

he looks at you and for the first time it isn’t cold or accompanied by a sneer, the warmth in the deep browns almost makes you coy

“the guy you’re enemies with tells you they like you and you go ‘whatever, just keep being nice to my cousin’.”

you cross your arms, “family before boyfriends.”

kun cocks an eyebrow, “boyfriend? you move fast.”

“qian kun you’ve seen me naked. you better be ready for commitment.”

he loops his hands around your waist and you yelp a little at the sound contact - hugging and all is one but now he is pushing you up and against him

“im ready for anything if it means i can see you naked again.”

after that - everything shifts

naturally it does, you do start dating the guy you swore you’d hate till you died but that’s not the only thing

you are also dating the most sought after guy in your town and while most of the other people your age go green with envy - your parents and cousin (surprisingly) are over the moon

your parents you get, but you thought your cousin would hate the idea - when infact he confesses that he’s happy you like kun now - you all three can hangout easier for the rest of his summer here!

you’re all having dinner one time and your mother asks what made you finally realize you liked kun

you fluster, and kun quips that he just had to sneak through your window a couple of times to end up sneaking into your heart

your parents laugh - oh qian kun would never sneak through a window, only bad boys do that!

you almost choke on your peas

you won’t lie - you have insecurities and worries in the beginning, kun could still be pulling a fast one on you. or maybe you two just will never get over the competition between each other.

but that all proves null, you and him can be sarcastic and joke around all you want it doesn’t stop the feelings that grow tenfold through the summer 

that feeling that when you are with him, there isn’t anyone else around 

and kun really is the best at everything (you don’t say it out loud though)

but he does have the looks, the brains, the popularity and boy does he know what he’s doing with those hands of his 

safe to say that he might have seen you naked first but you definitely saw him as well

you joke about it and your cousin is like ok. nevermind. this relationship between yall is GROSS jkjk

and then - like all things, summer ends, and your cousin is back off to his hometown 

and when you’re saying goodbye - he goes up to you and leans in to whisper something so no one else hears

“that’s not going to happen!”

you exclaim when he leans out, but he just shrugs and says “just promise you will.”

so you do promise. 

when you comeback to join kun he asks what the promise was about and you roll your eyes, muttering that it’s unrealistic so it doesn’t matter.

the only issue is - it is very realistic

because ten years later you are sending out invitations to you and kun’s wedding

he’s sitting at the dinner table beside you and watching you handwrite the notes, cutely testing out your cursive 

he teases your mistakes and you swat at him, he leans down to kiss the side of your cheek when he looks at the invitation in your hand

it’s addressed to your cousin and kun reads it out loud: 

“hey cousin, im keeping my promise from the past - the promise that id invite you to me and kun’s wedding.”

kun looks at you and you can’t believe the look makes you blush - even as a damn adult

kun keeps reading;

“and the other promise - that ill dance with you right after i dance with kun.”

kun chuckles, “you might not keep that one - because im not letting anyone else dance with after me. you’ll be mine that night.”

you scrunch up your nose, “dummy - ill be yours forever.” 

[hanhhoas]

as always, @warmau never fails to pull on my heartstrings 🥺🥰

[hollyhomburg]

ADJACENT (KTH x Reader drabble) 

w/c: 1.2k

A/N: so i guess? this is my life now? writing little mini drabbles instead of full lenght shit? 

when Tae moves out of the dorms he gets the his own house- it’s in a generally more up and coming part of town but is taller than it is wide with a balcony off the back end that overlooks the city. 

 After a little while- living alone gets lonely. He doesn’t see his neighbors for a few weeks, until one morning he does he doesn’t expect it when he walks out his front door and a chirpy voice suddenly says “good morning!” Though it looks like you’re just coming in from work instead of out of it! 

He’s shocked and worried for a moment- because he really really doesn’t want to have to move since he’s just gotten settled and if the location of his house was leaked then he definitely would have to. 

But you don’t seem to be looking at him with any of the hungry ness that the saseanges do, taking in taehyung’s wide eyes (his mouth hidden behind a face mask)

 “I was wondering when we were going to meet! It’s nice to meet you new neighbor!” 

Tae introduced himself as T instead, just to be sure. He spends the next few weeks in a blurt of worry that his privacy will be breached…until he realizes it never will be. 

Sometimes he catches views of you out on your balcony parallel to his hanging out your laundry or having a cup of coffee while you type away at your computer. 

And then one day you have to talk with each other because your cat has somehow gotten over into his balcony and yeontan is barking up a storm at her and she won’t jump back to your side no matter how many cans of tuna you open as bribery. 

Taehyung invites you over to come get her and you end up seeing some of taehyung’s paintings and the ezele he has set up to paint the city in his spare time which launches both of you into a discussion on modern art and an albeit loose promise to one day go to a museum together to finally settle the question of who is the most popular artist. 

Taehyung is surprised you’re so easy to talk to- so accessible, every single emotion on your face crystal clear, taehyung finds himself watching you inadvertently when you read on your balcony, or when you catch him and yeontan on a late night walk and coe over his little puppy in Hello. 

You and taehyung fall in love somewhere over him dashing over to your house when he hears you screaming- only to be confronted by a spider in your shower,

 from mutual laundry done in your machine because his breaks (+ the pair of your lacy underwear that somehow ends up in his basket),

and mornings where you both chat on your balcony and the fact that when you both reach out you can touch each others fingertips. 

You do end up going on that museum date eventually once tae gets the courage to ask you out for real, and like a goddamn cliche he spends more time looking at you than at the actual art, and can’t rip his eyes away, even when you both decide to sit side by side, you nodding off for a second and resting your cheek against his shoulder before you sit up again sharply. and he just tugs you up and says “let’s go home” and doesn’t let go of your hand the whole walk back. 

On the nights that tae can’t sleep and doesn’t have practice, or a place to be he stays up and paints pictures of you, stains his hands with the color of your eyes and hair. and hides them in the back closet so that you don’t find them and ask him why he just can’t seem to get you out of his head. 

Tae has to leave for shows in another country and you look after yeontan for him and he texts you every day asking for updates about “his baby” even though…most of the time he asks about you. sending you selfies of himself whenever he has a chance to go to a museum. 

He buggs you to tell him about what you’re writing about and you always dismiss his requests, he thinks the blush on your cheeks might be because of him when he asks- “is it a love story?” but he’s never sure.  

He writes scenery and records it, thinking of you the entire time. sometimes when everything goes quiet you can hear him singing in in the shower. 

 Eventually it’s after an award show that he comes home to you and invites you over for champagne because he’s in the mood to stay up late and drink until the morning light with you in celebration, even if he can’t tell you why he’s so happy. 

 and he might not have changed out of his Tom Ford suit and you might be in your pajamas but it doesn’t matter as you lie out on a blanket on his roof sipping champagne out of the bottle. 

“You did really well on your performance tonight” you say, and tae nearly chokes, sweet bubbles stinging his nose, and it doesn’t make any sense- you’ve never broached the topic of what he does for a living- you’ve never given even a hit of knowing what he does for a living. 

“When did you know?” He asks stunned, “the first time I saw you without a face mask on- you didn’t really think i wouldn’t recognize you when they’re are cardboard cutouts with your face on it on practically every street corner did you?”

Tae blushes and goes quiet and shy, but you’re poking his sides to get him to lighten up saying that it doesn’t change anything and it breaks out into an all out tickle fights and somehow you’re on top of him and he just pauses, both of your wrists encircled in either of his, you looking down at him, giggling and trying to get your small hands out of his so you can shock more of those laughs out of his belly. 

And he realize that when he looks at you he’s looking at what he wants his life to be like, your hair tangled and spilling over your shoulders and the coffee stain on the hem of your warn top, he wants every single domestic fantasy he could possibly have with you, every single moment, every- single story and all their happy endings. 

in short, you end up kissing a little, sweet savored kisses once tae surges up and claims your mouth with his, but they don’t lead anywhere further than his hand on your waist and yours tugging on his hair to make him sigh into your mouth. 

Eventually taehyung curls up around your body with your legs in between his and you run your fingers through his hair, he leans his head over your heart and falls asleep like that, listening to it thudding and beating treacherously fast whenever he makes a noise of contentment. 

He thinks your heartbeat just might be the best song he’s ever heard, and he wants to listen to it on repeat. 

[hanhhoas]

this reminds me of one of my favorite fics of @hollyhomburg !! without you (i can't breathe)!!! honestly a perfect story to read in the winter because its so HEARTWARMING 🥰🥰

[yousaygoodbyeandisay]

Tag Game

From @amirosebooks

Rules: Tag 9 people you would like to know better / catch up with

Last Song: The One Moment - OK Go (The song is amazing but the music video is insane)

Last Movie: Hot Fuzz. It’s not only hilarious, the more you watch it the funnier it gets. Layers, upon layers, upon layers. 

Currently Watching: Nothing, actually. I was re-watching Supernatural and I just stopped. Probably will start with The Boys soon but not 100% sold on it. 

Currently Reading: The Last Great Race by wincechesters 

I’m not very far along, but it has a lot of information about a sport I knew nothing about (sleding) + Dean training and being sweet to a ton of dogs and to Cas (eventually). 

Currently Craving: A vacation from thinking so much. I’m tired. 

Tagging: I don’t talk to a lot of people in this hellsite, but I’m tagging people that started following me recently and that I know nothing (or very little) about. 

@waywardwonderstruck @cheerstofandomfamily @lastscreambeing @doidaredisturb @petrichoravellichor @i-do-know-and-idc @fellshish @castielsbeeslippers @evgeniasmedvedevas

[castielsbeeslippers]

Tag game

From : @yousaygoodbyeandisay

Rules : tag 9 people you would like to know / catch up with

Last song : Dear fellow traveler by sea wolf 🥲💕

Last movie : Home alone two haha 😆 getting into the holidays people ~

Currently watching : The Mandolorian 😌✨

Currently reading : this fic 👀

Currently craving : Coffee ☕️🥺

Tagging: people that are awesome 💕😌

@can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner , @deancaslovbot , @my-favourite-hellatus , @froggie-deadinside , @sazzynatural , @destiels-little-devil , @the-angel-of-thursday , @swlpotato67 , @magicalmoose

[froggie-deadinside]

Tag Game

From : @castielsbeeslippers ❤️

Rules: tag 9 people you would like to know / catch up with

Last song : Like real people do, Hozier

Last movie : Uncle Frank (😢)

Currently watching : nothing really, will rewatch Sabrina before the last season comes out

Currently reading : just started song of Achilles (pray for me please 😭)

Currently craving : French fries haha

Tagging : people who are following me for some reason 😂 @lokis67impala @j-cutter @gum-believable @disasterbisexualwinchester @letmebeyoursalvation @oceaxe-ifdawn @biceratops7

[lokis67impala]

Tag Game

From: @froggie-deadinside

Rules: Tag 9 people who you would like to know / catch up with

Last song: I found by Amber Run

Last movie: The Imitation Game (I swear the ending makes me cry every time 😭)

Currently watching: After the whole spn finale train wreck, I went back to watch Criminal Minds

Currently reading: I WAS rereading Twist and Shout (😭💔) but I had to start reading Oedipus Rex for my english class and I don’t know if I’m gonna make it through the entire book

Currently craving: Oreos 🥛 but that’s nothing new

Tagging people: Who I hope will have as much fun filling this out as I did 🙃 @anythingandeverything @idkkarlo @jwastaken @neatcatastrophe @bluefirecas @cherylfails @dabblingwithdaisies @wigglebox @some-people-call-it-tragic @itsinjustbeing

[anythingandeverything]

Tag Game

From: @lokis67impala

Rules: Tag 9 people you would like to know / catch up with

Last song: Can’t Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley

Last Movie: As Above So Below

Currently Watching: I’m rewatching Supernatural for the hundredth time, while pretending the finale didn’t happen.

Currently Reading: The Best Years of Our Lives, My Ass by ireallyhatecornnuts

Currently Craving: Some good hecking Chicken Wings

Tagging: people who make me smile :)

@sl33pybo1 @i-do-know-and-idc @gum-believable @blueshadow0716 @thiscastielhasflown @on-a-bender @wsherlockscottholmesblog @enchantingwolffirezipper @swallow-carrying-a-coconut @queenofmoons-spn

[enchantingwolffirezipper]

Tag game

From @anythingandeverything

Rules: tag 9 people you would like to know/catch up with

Last song: Take me to Church by Hoizer

Last movie: The last unicorn

Currently watching: Supernatural (again) and the 100

Corrently reading: Twist and Shout (I want to cry and suffer) By Gabriel, Standbyme

Cirrently craving: mashed potatoes

Tagging people I know

@thetruemasterofgames @thepizzamantaughtme67 @the-chaotic-trash-panda @adsp-destielcockles @angvlicmish @mishasminions @malmuses @myheartisstone08 @lbwritesposts

[myheartisstone08-deactivated202]

OM LAIRD I AM SO EXCITEDD

Last song: smells like teen spirit ~Nirvana (hehe)

Last movie: santa clause

Currently watching- NCIS AND MERLIN (again……🙃) (And again….)

Currently reading: Les Mis by victor hugo, a john muir book, doing by Corie corps and Laura langdon , moby dick, (dang forgot) old man and the sea, Hemingway.

UHHH I HAVE ONE MORE PLS-

*shoves bookshelf into the center and the whole bookshelf is full*

Here-

Currently craving- something buttery

TAAAAAGGGAS

@hahahoneybee @icequeenkarin @kkshowtunes @oysters-aint-for-me @pumpknpuff @i-am-fluffs @i-am-a-cherry @vermillionlace @xercesshal

[vermillionlace]

Whoop! Never been involved in one of these before.

Last song: Overwhelmed- Royal and the Serpent (ha ha there’s no deeper meaning to my binging of this song…)

Last movie: Pirates of the Caribbean At Worlds End

Currently watching: Miraculous

Currently reading: Paradise Lost- John Milton

Currently craving: cheese. Like goats cheese or feta. Idk why.

Tags

@skies-and-starlings @ladykyrin @purplehya-simp @pvt-llewellyn @hopelesseeker @charcoal-14art @violetvapours @blue-corn-moo @absolutbookworm

[ladykyrin]

Thanks for the tag!!

Last song: “The Lullaby” by Sophism, Evelyne Blais, and Sai.

Last movie: a cheesy hallmark movie I don’t know the name of; it’s a tradition to watch a bunch of them with my dad during the holiday season.

Currently watching: unfortunately I’m in the thick of finals, so nothing right now. I need to finish ATLA and catch up on BNHA and Haikyuu!!

Currently reading: Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth. Started at the beginning of the semester and still haven’t finished bc I’ve been so busy.

Currently craving: a very specific sundae from a local frozen yogurt truck whose season doesn’t start again until April 😔

Tagging some of the crew from the PH chat!

@pigeonsatdawn @jbcl @theoceandaughter @kdreader02 @thatdivergentnephilhim @under-the-big-top-hat @gryffindorfightingheart @hopefulrunawaycherryblossom @youll-be-fine

[youll-be-fine]

Thank you for tagging 😃😃 :-

Last song : - red dessert by 5 seconds of summer

Last movie :- sinister (Bruh ngl i had high expectations but i was damn dissapointed cuz it was nothing 😑)

Currently watching :- Samee my exams are gonna come so i took a break from my movie/kdrama/anime/webseries marathon cuz once i start i just binge finish it 😭😭 and now is not the time for that I’m lagging on completing the portion 😭😭

Currently reading :- the hate you give me, boi how are we so similar, i too started that book in the start of my school back in april and yet I’ve just covered 100-150 pages 😭 cuz my used to snatch it everytime i started reading it

Currently craving :- raw mangoes and mangoes 😭😭 cuz that’s seasonal

Further tagging :- @forgivehimgoosebumps @jins-left-shoulder92 ,@nads02 @smallerdemon @rainbowsnowflake @purplekoala @lonelybitch02

[rainbowsnowflake]

Thanks for tagging! @youll-be-fine

Last song: White Flag by Sabrina Carpenter

Last movie : Enola Holmes! I recommend it :D

Currently watching: Miraculous Ladybug, Go Go Squid!, Brothers’ Conflict (tho I don’t think I’ll continue it. It’s too messed up)

Currently Reading: Moonflower Murders by Anthony Horowitz

Currently craving: A warm beanie cap

Tagging:

@a-malfunctioning-human-bean @mango-pickle @stardustandvanilla @emieee @eeeeeeeem @mousefangs @mojjib @joker0705 @bat-shark-repellant @babychoi03

That’s 10 but anyways

[eeeeeeeem]

thanks for the tag @rainbowsnowflake

last song: From Home by NCT U (it’s amazing!)

last movie: jumanji

currently watching: haikyuu and dynasty and start up

currently reading: nothing (i’m not a big reader)

currently craving: a best friend

tagging @ncityy04 @multifandomkid @dalkomhanchocolateicecream @auhchuuuu @haoitworks @imwhateverimis @jimins-lost-jams16 @that-one-ace-stan @ungee

[woomylord-deactivated20240930]

ty for the tag @eeeeeeeem

last song: national anthem - lana del rey

last movie: harry potter hbp

currently watching: hp

currently reading: nothing

currently craving: juice

tagging: @gemini-hyuck @zhpatch @haoitworks @multifandomkid @yeeeetaws

[haoitworks]

ty for the tag @imwhateverimis

last song: dark paradise - lana del ray

last movie: emperors new groove

currently watching: the umbrella academy/ the

mandelorian

currently reading: the lying woods

currently craving: juice

tagging: @hanhhoas @cutiejoshi @sun-flowerstudies

[hanhhoas]

thanks u bb for the tag! @haoitworks

last song: nct127 - 나의 모든 순간(no longer) 

last movie: my tomorrow, your yesterday

currently watching: le coup de foudre, are you human too

currently reading: my old ap euro textbook haha

currently craving: thai food!

tagging: @jaeminlore @tytangfei

[warmau]

3 for 3 kisses: doyoung 

endless, enchanted, milk tea smooth kisses that you are supposed to only have once in a lifetime - but doyoung knows what you like and he knows that you’re a romantic and deep down he is too. his long fingers glide down your arm, he twirls you around in the darkness of your shared kitchen and then pulls you in and to his lips. he is always a soft kisser when he starts, leaving you wanting more and curling yourself against the fabric of his shirt. you can’t even see his face all that well, but if you were told to kiss a hundred men - you could pick him out of the crowd with no problem at all.

heavy-lidded and routine, kisses that you get right after you brush your teeth together in the mirror in the morning. doyoung used to never give you these kinds of kisses, he used to fret about how you should both wake up and eat breakfast and get dressed, but you just started doing it anyway and now he leans down on instinct when you pass by him and the sink. he waits for your lips, aftertaste of mouthwash, the momentary touch of skin on skin. he loves you and he’s willing to compromise for you.

sticky, almost teetering on the line of gross in both your opinions kind of kisses that when people witness them - through the crack of a door by accident - they can’t believe exists between you two. always so prim and proper, but there you are with your chin glistening and doyoung trying not to curse. his jaw tightens and you think your leg should hitch a little further up. he groans and his voice comes out grated against the skin of your neck. people don’t know that even doyoung needs to lose control completely sometimes. 

[warmau]

3 for 3 kisses: minghao

shadow of a confession, close your eyes and don’t look kind of kiss that minghao manages to build up the nerve to finally give you on the night before he leaves for a long winded tour. you think he’s going to surprise you with some kind of gift - a parting message between just friends, but then you feel his lips on yours, soft and full of patience that’s been trained into his shaking shoulders. you want to open your eyes, you want to speak but he mutters against your mouth that you don’t have to say anything - he just wanted to do this once in his life. your hand, familiar with his body comes up to cup his cheek - what are you talking about once, he better keep doing this forever.

charged, centered kisses that you give each other when you know you want to get angry about something pointless instead. you and minghao are both stubborn, but you’ve also come to learn that there isn’t any point butting heads when instead you can just kiss. you crash into a room, climbing into his lap and kissing him so hard that he nearly tilts back and off the chair. you’re kissing with the zest of a little annoyance, but its twinged with the sweetness of adoration. your hands go up into his hair and he stops you by grabbing your wrists and making you pull back. he wants to ask what he did now, but you look so delectable catching your breath that he just lets go and lets you take him over again.

baby blue, macaroon sized kisses that come when you and minghao are out shopping and he’s got his attention all on the window displays and mannequins of expensive brands and you’ve got your gaze on open doors to bookshops and lovely smelling bakeries. you both pull off into different directions, but your hands still hold on - a lock that won’t open till it’s given the secret password. you both giggle and then lean into each other, a speckled light of fireworks when your lips graze and you can finally let go of each other - if only momentarily. each of these kisses say what you need to, i love you - see you in an hour or two~! 

[chocosvt]

⚬ pairing: ghost!jihoon x fem!reader ⚬ word count: 9242 ⚬ warnings: abusive relationship, suicide ⚬ genres: heavy angst, romance, ample fluff

✧✎ synopsis: freedom was a word that had completely lost its meaning - unable to escape from a toxic relationship, you can only find happiness upon confiding in jihoon, the spirit of a writer who died a century ago. 

✧✎ a/n: SORRY this took so long to post! i have a habit of holding onto completed fics for a while, bc i feel the need to endlessly proofread. i rly appreciate everyone’s patience :D

You didn’t understand him. You hated him. 

You wanted to conjure a pair of scissors and cut the invisible rope that connected your piteous relationship. Tight around your wrist, you could still feel the indents left by his fingernails, how they pushed blunt into your skin like a stamp to a liquid, wax seal. There was no taste of freedom unless you left him, and yet, you lacked the strength, instead rotting in your own indolence.

Keep reading

[hanhhoas]

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A post shared by hoa (@hanhhoas) on Sep 12, 2020 at 2:27pm PDT

my first page for my ult bias kings, svt 🥰🥰