𝙳𝙴𝙻

[𝚂𝙷𝙴/𝙷𝙴𝚁][𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙹][𝚂𝙻𝚈𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙽]

[jojaxcola]

jodi also strikes me as a yapper (at some point at least)

[hideyoosh]

Stardew's Finest Market ☆

bachelors + bachelorettes

[kaeyalovers]

Albedo: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Kaeya: Forty-five seconds!?

Albedo: No! Four to five seconds!

Kaeya: Too late!

[thatonedumbtraveler]

MAN memes series

Part two is out now :

Natasha

-MAN memes series part two- (the part one got many rt and likes so here ya go-)

[kaeyalovers]

Venti: So that’s my plan.

Xiao: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.

Venti: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.

Xiao: It fucking sucks.

Venti: That’s not constructive criticism.

[haoitworks]

my genshin addiction is breaking my brain

[haoitworks]

when i go to bed at like 4am and wake up at 2pm thinking it’s tuesday of last week of the third hour of the day of the felix calendar

[wikiipediabf]

thank these men for sparing 6 kids daddy issues and being amazing husbands

[nerds-in-wonderland]

When someone touches you without your consent 🙃

~Alice 🌌

[slytherin4ever]

Blaise: Malfoy! Theo almost got hit by a car in the parking lot this morning!

Draco: I know. He was faster than I thought.

Blaise:

Draco: Don't worry. I'll get him next time.

[slytherin4ever]

Theo, muttering under his breath: "I think we should get a divorce..."

Pansy, confused: What are you doing?

Theo: just practicing

Pansy: Why are you already planning your hypothetical divorce?

Theo: I don't know Pansy, I'm 15... I think I'm having a quarter life crisis.

Pansy: You don't even have a girlfriend

Theo, rolling his eyes: I need you to hypothetically divorce me.

Pansy: Ok then, I'm hypothetically taking half your assets.

Theo: Well you didn't sign the hypothetical prenup

Theo, whispering to blaise: It's called a prenup, right?

Blaise: Yes actually, yes it is, and you did hypothetically sign one so...

Pansy, pointing to blaise: Who the fuck is he supposed to be?

Blaise: I'm his hypothetical lawyer in the divorce case.

Pansy: Well then I'm taking the hypothetical children so-"

Pansy, turning to Draco: Right? We can get the hypothetical children?

Draco: Yes, we can definitely get the hypothetical children.

Theo, actually getting intense: Who the fuck is this hypothetical nerd? fucking idiot with the hair...

Draco, glaring: Wow, this is a lot of hypothetical insults.

Pansy, pointing to draco, smirking: this is MY hypothetical lawyer and we have been hypothetically sleeping together SO-

Theo, insulted: HOW COULD YOU HYPOTHETICALLY DO THIS TO ME?!?

Pansy, worked up as well: BECAUSE YOU ARE HYPOTHETICALLY AN ALCOHOLIC!!

Theo: you know WHAT?!? It doesn't even matter because I have been hypothetically sleeping with your cousin!

Blaise: *spits out tea*

Pansy: you W H A T?!

[slytherin4ever]

Harry: You son of a bitch!

Draco, pulling out his wand: What the fuck did you just call my mother?!

Harry: I meant your dad-

Draco, putting his wand away: Oh ok continue

[slytherin4ever]

Draco: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE

Draco: *aggressively throws water bottles*

pansy: ...uhh

Blaise: he's trying to yell mental health and well being into us.

Draco: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU

Theo: *crying* it's working

[hogwartshousefriends]

Gryffindor: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Slytherin: Not if they consent to it.

Ravenclaw: Depends on who you’re stabbing.

Hufflepuff: yES????

[slytherin4ever]

Theo: You remind me of the ocean.

Draco: Why, because I'm deep and mysterious?

Theo: No, because your full of salt and you scare people

[hacked-wtsdz]

Slytherins aren’t the ones who would wear mini skirts and shiny bra tops and black transparent longsleeves. They are the house that values tradition, among other things, and also class. They aren’t the reckless, rebellious in every way possible, Gryffindors. They would be the ones who wear perfect white shirts with elegant blazers, the ones who have piles of tweed trousers and a pair of shiny black Mary Janes or high leather boots. They would wear trench coats and plaid skirts with turtlenecks, smell of Chanel, Jo Malone and Gucci. They’d have the Sherlock Holmes kind of style. Or maybe some of them — Han Solo.

[iris-neptunus]

Next Generation Slytherins play whats possibly the worlds most competitive game of monopoly. It starts out friendly and fair, but like fifteen minutes into the game its complete anarchy. Everyones cheating, death threats are being passed around, some first year is fake crying, someone else is manically laughing. By the end of the game almost everyone has sold their soul. The banker actually wins because they have the most money from all the bribery. After a few trips to the hospital wing, monopoly is banned from Hogwarts.

[hufflautia]

Hufflepuff: Are you okay?

Slytherin: No, next question.